My Anomaly
by arbitrarygirl
Summary: Bella is not normal. She's a mind reader but only able to hear the thoughts of the male population. What happens when she meets Edward and can't read him? What happens when he can't stay away from her? All Human. apparently better than it sounds
1. Introduction

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

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**My Anomaly  
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When the other kids hear "Bella Swan", they think… Freak. Reject. Lesbian. Yeah everyone here thinks I'm a lesbian, but I don't mind it much. Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Actually, a lot of the time I do. I've read somewhere that sexual orientation in men is based on genetics. That it's a determined factor in genetic code, and some men are just born gay, but for women it's different, that they choose to be. Like for some women, they experience a traumatic event like being molested by their fake uncle or something and just feel more comfortable around women. But I think it's genetic because I've tried to like a girl and it didn't work. I did fall for her brother though, but that didn't work out… just like everything else in my life.

I have a very unique problem. I like to describe it as a birth defect, others see it as a gift, but really it's a curse. I can read minds, but… of only guys. Human males, boys, men, grandfathers, dads, teachers, and even some toddlers. All of them. Since I was born I was able to hear what men think. Well I just assume since birth; I guess it's possible my dad dropped me on my head multiple times as a baby. But I think that secretly all babies are dropped at least once, but the parent was just too afraid to tell the other.

I'm not sure why I can read their minds or why I can't even read a girl's mind, but my only intelligent guess would be that I can use a certain part of my brain that other people can't, or it could be some brain frequency thing. I'm too afraid, or too smart, to go to a doctor. They'll end up using me in some freaky lab experiment or putting me into some asylum… though it could be better than this hellhole, Forks High.

High school is, for most kids, an annoying obstacle that they just have to endure for four years. For others, they thrive in it, but for me, it is an actual hell. The thoughts of hundreds of horny teenage boys and some faculty members bombarding your mind constantly… I must have done something awful in a past life. But it's not as bad as it used to be. I've learned to control the "volume" of the noise, and I can sometimes zone out until it's mostly a low buzzing; but when I get migraines or I'm tired, I need to use my I-pod to block it all out. In my hoodies and jackets, an inside pocket as been sown into the inside material so I can securely hide my I-pod from teachers. Rosalie even painted some ear phones brown to match my hair color so teachers wouldn't notice them. Best Christmas present that year.

Rosalie Hale is my best friend and savior. She knows all about my curse and all my other secrets, and I know hers. Her twin brother Jasper, my other best friend, is the aforementioned boy I fell for. He's an actual decent human being, and it was easy with him. He understood the odd things I did and the way I felt. Sometimes it was like he was reading my mind, and it didn't help that I could _hear_ how pretty he thought I was. We tried dating freshman year, but it became too hard and weird. And it was just unfair for him for me to know everything he was thinking half the time. Since they moved here, he's learned to block me from his thoughts by singing random songs or reciting important dates in history. By the time we got to our third kiss, it was too awkward, and we both laughed it off deciding to be just friends.

Rose and Jaz moved here from Texas when we were all twelve, and they were beautiful even then. Both of them had blonde hair, clear blue eyes, and evenly tanned skin with slight southern accents. But now their skin has faded into a natural pale shade since the sun never shines in Forks except for maybe a few days a year and their accents are rarely heard. The only reason we'd became friends was because they moved in next door in the middle of the summer. I was the only kid living on that street, and my dad being the friendly police chief of Forks, introduced us. Jaz and I instantly became friends, and Rose just followed. I could tell even then that something bad had happened to Rose from the way she held herself and the way Jasper stood next to her. At the end of the summer, Rose got spooked from the delivery man and broke down. She spilled about Royce, a family friend, and how he used to take her on nature walks and other fun stuff. He was always touching her in a friendly manner, but one time he'd really tried to _touch_ her. She freaked, kicked in him the balls, and ran away; the police found her balled up in the woods crying. She was only ten. When her father got a job offer in Washington, he took it hoping the change in scenery would help her move on. It has.

Rosalie is beautiful, brave, smart, and funny, but because of me, she's kind of labeled as an outcast. She doesn't date much because of obvious reasons but with the fact that I can hear what they think of her doesn't help. Guys will still ask her out once in a while – if they're arrogant (or ignorant of her glares) enough. It's one of the reasons why I liked her so much. Rose was clever and funny, but that she could keep the boys away was a plus.

My ridiculous scheme seems perfect now… Rose would be a lesbian from her horrible encounter with a man as a kid. We'd fall in love in love with each other and live happily ever after… because it was her who I tried to like when I was thirteen, when I craved to have someone special like the normal kids.

It was her who I tried to like at times like this, when I've just seen the most beautiful boy in the entire universe, to keep myself from getting heart broken.

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AN: This IS an ExB story...

This was short but this is just an introduction... Also I need your help, I'm struggling if I should include Edward's POV... I've written some, but not as much as Bella's. I keep changing my mind so here's your chance for input...

THANKS FOR READING!!


	2. Don't Look at My Fruits

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

**AN: **Look up at the right side of the screen at the Font options. Click on the 1/2 .... I like to read fanfiction in this format.

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**Don't Look at My Fruits**  
**Chapter 2**

When I was thirteen, I had a crush on Mike Newton. We had just returned from summer vacation and he'd shot up six inches and his shoulders had broaden. He lost some of his baby fat and put product in his hair. So for the first three hours of that first day of school, I was in love with Mike Newton… until I had lunch with him and heard all the vulgar things he was thinking.

_Like comparing the different sizes of girls' breasts to fruit._

Rose had apples. Lauren Mallory had watermelons. Me? I had grapes... I was insulted and heartbroken. But I also learned that appearances meant nothing, and the horrible boob to fruit analogy always stuck with me since. Every time I see a really attractive guy, my heart breaks off another tiny piece, and I start comparing everyone's chests to fruit.

He wouldn't be like Jasper who've I discovered is an anomaly. This beautiful boy would just be another Mike Newton. He'd take one quick glance of me focusing on my boobs and think oranges and move onto the next set of coconuts or melons.

"Hey! New kids!" Rose yanked on my hair pulling out an earphone and pointing toward the beautiful boy and another cute guy. We've been expecting them since June when Rose ran into Alice Brandon at a mall in Seattle. Her cousins were moving here from Chicago, their doctor dad wanting to escape city life, and blah blah blah. It didn't matter why they were here. It only mattered that they weren't girls.

"Ouch," I growled at her.

"Too bad they're gorgeous though," she sighed ignoring me. "Should have known… they _are_ related to Alice."

Little Miss Mary Alice Brandon was perfect. Perfect hair. Perfect skin. Perfect smile. Prefect clothes. Perfect family. Perfect life. I truly believed she was perfect because for there to be people like me, living in Hell, there had to be people living the opposite. People like Alice Brandon. It was the natural order of things. Balance of good and evil. Harmony. Ying Yang. It wasn't her fault, like it wasn't my fault for my curse.

"Yeah," I said mindlessly plugging my earphones back in not really listening to the music.

Rose and I continued watching the beautiful boy and his cute brother get out of their car. Surprisingly it wasn't something new and fancy; it looked older like most of the other cars, but it was extremely shiny causing it standout. Yet it wouldn't surprise me if it was one of those classic cars that Rose drooled over. They slowly moved around their shiny car and looked around the parking lot probably looking for Alice. My breathing hitched when beautiful boy's eyes locked with mine, and I could see the incredibly greenness from here. I turned my head back down to the book in my lap as my cheeks burned, but I was more relieved than embarrassed. I was glad that he couldn't see my apples through the jacket I was wearing. I looked over to find Jasper in the parking lot catching up with some guys because he'd spent most of his summer with Rose and me.

Rose nudged me again and I looked up to see Alice waving and walking toward us with beautiful boy and his cute brother following. We weren't really friends with Alice, but she was friendly enough with everyone. It was strange to see her tiny form being shadowed by the towering figures behind her. The cute brother was huge. He stood tall with a broad set of shoulders and large arms. He probably played football or lacrosse or rugby or whatever game perfect people played. Beautiful boy was just as tall but slimmer. Even his hair was beautiful; it shimmered into different colors – red to brown to in between, bronze, I guess.

They stood in front of us now and Alice's perfect mouth was moving quickly. Rose was smiling and probably telling her about her _wonderful_ summer even though we spent most of it doing nothing. Alice glanced at me a couple of times, but I only smiled leaving in my earphones. The music playing was keeping everything out, and I wasn't ready to hear beautiful boy thinking about Rosalie's melons. My eyes again followed involuntarily to where Jaz stood staring at us. His mouth was open gawking, and I wondered briefly if he was just staring at beautiful boy too like I was. Best guess was little Miss Mary Alice Brandon. I've been noticing the looks and the Motown he sings in his head when she comes around. No one's gotten Motown before… it might have been why I resent little perfect Alice so much.

"Later," I mumbled loudly not really to anyone. I walked away quickly inside and into the closest girls' restroom. I turned my I-pod off reveling in the "silence." Since it was the first day of school, kids would be arriving early to gossip and survey each other. Thankfully it wasn't raining yet so everyone was still outside. My eyes prickled wanting to cry. I think today might be one of my crying days. A day when I just need a good cry to let out all my frustrations. Cry for everything horrible like my curse and how I won't be able to have a normal future. No family. No college. No sex. No babies. Horrible job. Actually maybe horrible sex… I really shouldn't have given up smoking.

I thanked the gods whichever one put Ben Cheney in my English class. Being the outcast, I've learned to enjoy reading so I've usually already read all the books that we've been assigned to. So Ben Cheney in my class is like a blessing. What most kids don't realize is that Ben Cheney is a funny guy. Honestly he's hilarious. He has a silent comeback to everything and everyone, and he's not crude. He's not an anomaly, but he's light on the vulgarity. Usually he only gets that way when he sits next to Angela Weber for too long. He's had the hots for her since freshman year; maybe this year I'll nudge them both in the right direction. But also Ben Cheney usually does his math homework during English because he likes to read. He's already covered this _old shit _(he calls it) and saves his math homework so he'll have something to do. But I suck at math and I need all the tutoring I can get. My brain just doesn't soak it in like my other classes, and cheating makes me feel insanely guilty.

The rest of my morning is okay. Spanish is mainly girls so I won't have to wear my earphones in all the time. History will put me to sleep and Trig will kill me. Sounds like an okay morning to me. Lunch is when I really need my earphones. Students are only allowed to eat in the lunchroom or the courtyard… when it's not raining. I fell into line and pulled a few things onto my tray smiling back at the lunch ladies. They're all genuinely nice to me, and so I make sure to return the favor. I can only be so rude to so many people.

Rose and Jaz were already sitting at our table in the corner, but they weren't alone. For some mysterious reason, Alice, the cute brother, and beautiful boy were sitting there too. I cursed at the god who did this to me, probably the same one who gave me Ben Cheney to balance that shit all out. Why did they have to be sitting at my table? Couldn't Alice do her flirting somewhere else? My eyes flicked over to another empty table across the room, and I thought about sitting there by myself. But I don't want to and plus, I really do want to befriend Alice for Jasper's sake.

Our table was one of the few long tables in the cafeteria that sat like twelve people, but only the three of us usually sat there. With Alice and them sitting there, it complicated our usual seating arrangement. I sat down next Rose facing the cute brother and feeling completely uncomfortable because I couldn't see Jaz's normal face. Closing my eyes I turned off my I-pod and the thoughts of horny teenage boys raided my mind. I automatically heard Jasper's calming voice singing an old song, and I pulled the earphones off allowing the others to see I was willing to participate in their perfect banter.

"Hey Bella, how was your summer?" Alice asked me right away.

"Boring… rainy… I worked a lot... yours?" I asked as she giggled at my answer.

"Same, but I had to help these two losers move. I swear I've never seen anyone move so slow," she said looking over at beautiful boy and the cute brother.

"There was a marathon of Project Runway on; we were in a trance. I was really hoping Carol Hannah would win; thanks for ruining the ending too," said the cute boy complaining about some TV show that I wasn't familiar with.

"Irina was clearly the best, and you're welcome," Alice smiled.

"Hey, I'm Emmett Cullen." The cute brother turned to me and stuck out his hand.

"Bella Swan," I answered shaking it and hearing his thoughts.

_Mmmm. Delicious apples… _I wanted to laugh out at the irony. Of course the cute brother, Emmett, was making boob to fruit analogies. … But then I realized he was staring at my tray.

"Oh, do you want one?" I asked him holding out an apple.

"Yeah thanks. I didn't pack enough for lunch," he said smiling shyly. I turned to beautiful boy wondering if I would get the same luck as Emmett.

"Hi, I'm Bella," I said sticking out my hand to him exactly like Emmett had to me. But he ignored it. He looked at my hand and up to my face and just ignored it. I tugged back my arm and concentrated his thoughts. I couldn't hear him… Nothing. "What's your name?" I asked him… still no reply verbally or mentally.

"Don't worry about Edward, Bella. He's being a jerk today," Alice apologized for him.

_He's being a dick because you were a total bitch this morning. _Emmett thought telling me unintentionally.

_Ah damn, could Lauren wear a shorter skirt? ... _Mike Newton, gross.

_I've got so much honey, the bees envy me… _ Jasper.

I rubbed my forehead trying to understand what was happening. I could hear Mike Newton and other guys from across the room, but I couldn't hear this boy sitting right across from me. Maybe it's because I haven't heard his voice… or maybe…

"Were you born with a vagina or something?" I asked him. Maybe he was born with both sets of genitalia or some weird shit. Everyone choked and Emmett spritzed his water all over Jasper.

"What?" Beautiful Boy finally acknowledged me. Still no mental sounds...

"Were you born a girl?" I asked.

"No," he glared at me. "What is wrong with you?"

"Turret's," I squeaked jumping up from my seat and grabbing my bag. I was freaking out. I didn't know what's wrong with me…

I let the thoughts assault my mind comforting me that I was still sane or as sane as I was before… I couldn't be losing my curse. But would it be such a bad thing if I was? I would be able to have a normal – well able to have a semi-normal life. Mrs. Cope greeted me as I entered the office; she was one of the many babysitters I had when I was a baby. Dad had to leave me with someone who volunteered since we couldn't afford much. But Mrs. Cope is like a stand-in grandmother I guess. She doesn't know about the curse, but she knows enough to let me sign out and call my father.

"I'll call Charlie for you Bella if you just want to head home," she smiled. I thanked her and walked out of the office sighing when I reached fresh air. I walked past the parking lot quickly until the voices from the school dulled. It started to rain harder but I left my hood down to let the raindrops wash away the fallen tears on my cheeks. Looks like I was starting my crying day soon than I thought.

"Bella!" Rosalie called from downstairs. Looking over at the clock, I realized that I had fallen asleep a few hours ago.

_Bella?_ Jasper called through his thoughts.

"I'm here," I muttered helplessly laying on my bed. As they made their way stumbling up the stairs to my room, I thought for a nanosecond about not telling them.

"Are you okay?" she asked sitting down next to me.

_What happened at lunch? _Jasper asked silently as he sat in the rocking chair across the room.

"I can't hear him," I mumbled.

_What – happened – at – lunch?!_ Jasper thought loudly causing me to wince.

"Not you!" I scolded him. "It's that – Edward? That's his name? I can't read him."

"Well that explains why you asked him if he had a vagina," he laughed.

"You can't hear anything? At all?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said blankly.

"This is just – this is…" Rose stuttered.

"Impossible," Jaz finished.

"Well at least it's one less guy you don't have to listen to," she tried to reassure me.

"Yeah," I tried. Except that now I'll just wonder what he's thinking all the time now.

"Yeah as good looking as they are, I bet Emmett and Edward are real assholes," Rose tried again to comfort me.

"But I don't think they are, at least not Emmett. He had a good vibe about him except for the part when he was eyeballing my lunch."

"Well he could still be a dick towards girls," she objected.

"Maybe," I mumbled. But I knew that he wasn't like that. Besides the mistake with the fruit analogy, the only thing he thought about was that Rose was the most beautiful girl he'd never seen in his entire life. Nothing vulgar or gross…

By the next morning I had decided that I just needed to apologize to Alice, Emmett, and Edward. I leaned against Rose and Jaz's car waiting them to show up. I wasn't really sure what I was going to say but I figured any apology was better than no apology. I spotted the shiny silver car entering the parking lot and watched it park on the other end of the lot clearly ignoring the empty spaces near me. I trudged down the pavement frustrated when I saw Edward pop out of the driver's side and make his way into the building. Emmett and Alice stood watching him and shrugged at each other.

"Alice!" I said pulling out my earphones. She paused startled at my hurrying figure towards her, and Emmett stopped, wondering what I was going to do next.

"Hey, I just wanted to uh… about yesterday at lunch, I'm sorry. I'm not usually – well, I am usually like that," I tried to apologize failing miserably.

"It's okay Bella," Alice stammered with wide eyes.

"No it's not. I don't mean to be rude… I just come off as a, uh, freak, I guess," I muttered staring down at my feet and wincing at the offensive word - _freak. _

"Ah, Alice! I can't believe you," Lauren Mallory paused behind her forcing to stop Jessica with her. "You shouldn't make Bella apologize for what she is. She can't help being a psycho-bitch."

"Thanks Lauren," I said seeming sincere. Lauren rolled her eyes at me and stalked off following Jessica.

_Does she not realize that chick just bagged on her?_ Emmett wondered watching as they entered the building.

"It's easier if you try to confuse them," I looked at him dropping my fake tone. "I'll see you around," I nodded plugging my earphones back in.

Classes continued on as the same. I pretended to be learning and listening when I really was doodling in my notebook. It was one of the black and white composition books, and it was filled with little drawings and actual people's thoughts that were worth writing down. In history I paused my ipod to sift through guy's thoughts. If I have to live with the curse, you can bet I'll use it for entertainment purposes. Jasper was in Trig trying to pay attention. Tyler Crowley was thinking about the basketball scene from that movie _Coming To America. _Trust me, it was funnier on TV…

_Punkass bitch, I'll show him to disrespect me. _I froze when I heard someone ranting. I recognized it was a senior – James MacArthur. Reading his mind, I figured out that Edward had apparently bumped into him this morning and it pissed James off. He roughly formed a plan to confront him after school in the parking lot. I was unsure of how I should react. There was no chance I was going up to that kid at all, and I couldn't go up to Edward and ask him to apologize to James, could I? Plus I doubt James would accept even if Edward did.

I just bought a lemonade to go with the homemade sandwich I'd brought. Everyone else was already sitting at the table chatting away. I silently sat down and pulled my earphones; I still had to apologize to Edward about yesterday. I looked over to Edward and I swear my jaw actually fell open. He was listening to his ipod staring down at a book ignoring everyone. But I knew this was an insult directed at me, and it ticked me off. I was trying to apologize and he kept ignoring me. I guess he was trying to teach me a lesson which I might have deserved. I suppose this was what other people, the normal people, have to put up with when I'm around. Except that's how the normal people want it. They don't want the freaky psycho-bitch to interfere or burden them. They want her silent in the corner or better yet, not even around. I turned my attention to the others. Jasper, Rose, and Alice were animatedly chatting about old TV commercials.

Emmett was in his own world with his tray full of food. _What is the capital of Vermont? Helena… no that's Montana. Concord… New Hampshire. No… Vermont. Something, Vermont. _

Montpelier! Montpelier, Vermont. I wanted to scream at his brain fart as I listened to him. I waited another fifteen minutes as he continued to struggle.

"Hey Alice," I said gaining everyone's attention. "Remember that old Cherrios commercial. The really cute one with the little girl eating Cheerios as her sister was doing her capitals, but she gets stuck on Vermont, and then the little girl pipes up Montpelier… sorry I just couldn't get it out of my head."

_Oh yeah! Montpelier, Vermont! That's it… weird. _Emmett relaxed as he turned to his tray.

"Yeah that one was really cute. They don't make cereal commercials like they used to. Now it's all about diets and calories," Alice continued on as I zoned out.

I glanced back at Edward and found him looking at me, and before I could do or say anything he looked back down at whatever he was reading. When the bell rang, he was the first up and out of his seat; I'd never seen anyone move so fast. I entered Mr. Banner's room spouting off apologies and excuses for my absence. He gave me a syllabus and pointed me toward the only available seat in the back… which happened to be next to Edward Beautiful Cullen. Why are the gods doing this to me? They better give me something amazing to balance this shit out.

I got the urge to ask Angela to switch seats with me when I saw her. She's a friend, I guess. We always partner up for projects and things, and we did volunteer work together. But I rarely hung out with her other than that. But I swallowed my words when I saw Ben Cheney sitting next to her wit ha nervous smile on his face, and I just couldn't do that to him. I took my seat next to Edward and turned off my ipod hoping I would catch something that trickled out of his mind. But as we took notes, I wanted to rip Edward's head off to let everything come pouring out… and for the way he angled his chair away from me. Again when the bell rang, he sprang from his seat like as if he were trying to escape death… Nope it was just me he was escaping from.

I know Coach Clapp was just as happy to see as I was to see him. He winced as I came up to apologizing for missing the first day of school. He dismissed me quickly and imagined all the paperwork I was going to cause him. It turned out that having hundreds of thoughts assaulting your mind all at once diminished my reflexes… and my balance… and my hand-eye coordination. I changed into my gym clothes leaving my poor ipod behind in my bag. I would surely drop it or step on it; the gods would find some way to destroy it.

The sight of glimmering bronze hair made me freeze. Edward and Emmett were sitting on the bleachers laughing and chatting away. And for once today, Edward looked beautiful without the scary glare he'd been wearing all day. Emmett saw me and waved me over, and I felt naked without my hoodie when Edward looked at me. I prayed to the helpful god that he wasn't thinking _grapes_.

"Hey guys, I didn't know you had gym now," I said awkwardly sitting down on the row in front of them.

"Yep, where were you yesterday?" Emmett asked.

"I went home after lunch… I didn't feel very well," I said looking at Edward to see his reaction. He seemed very interested in the rafters in the ceiling. "About yesterday Edward," I started to apologize.

"Oh, basketball," he sprung up and walked away leaving me with Emmett.

"Don't mind him Bella, he's just being-" he started.

"He has the right to be. I probably freaked him out yesterday," I told him.

"He'll get over it."

"Maybe, hey this is going to sound odd, but can Edward throw a punch? Like can he hold himself in a fight?" I asked trying to seem nonchalant… trying.

"Uh, I guess if he had to. Why?" He looked at me with wide eyes.

"Just curious," I muttered before getting up quickly moving toward the large group of girls getting ready to get into teams. Surprise surprise! I was picked last, and Jessica seemed thrilled to have me on her team.

"You stand over there, and try not to screw it up," she glared at me.

You'd think that she'd be more worried about her nails or something, but no. Girls were insanely competitive about everything in this school. I stood on my designated spot and watched as girls ran back and forth across the gym. My head buzzed as I blocked out thoughts about the nice sets of melons and pomegranates, and I rubbed my forehead trying to ease away the horrible pressure that was building up. I felt something grip the back of my t-shirt and pull me backwards slamming me into something hard as I saw the basketball whiz right by my head bouncing hard against the bleachers. I whipped my head in the other direction to see Jessica with an angry expression muttering something to Lauren.

"Damn it, Bella, can't you pay attention?!" Lauren yelled at me from across the gym.

What the hell?! She could have knocked my head off with that pass! My fingers instinctively balled into a fist. Pay attention, my ass! That was on purpose; no one had ever passed me the ball in a real game. I flung my arms angrily, but something – someone – caught my wrist.

"Whoa, watch it." A voice caused me to turn my head.

At that moment, I realized many things: beautiful boy looked too perfectly gorgeous up close; _he_ was the one to pull me out of the way; his body was rock hard; and the pressure was gone. Everything was silent.

"Thank you," I barely whispered tugging my arm free from his grip as the horny thoughts rushed back into my mind. I wanted to throw up and cry and punch someone all at once.

"Swan, hit the locker room," Coach Clapp called out as he watched me closely. He could tell something was wrong. I couldn't process anything as I sat in the locker room not moving. I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting there, but my mind jumped back into focus as Coach Clapp's whistle blew and the sounds of gossiping girls grew louder. I only bothered to put my hoodie back on not wanting anyone to judge my fruits and grabbed my stuff almost running down Jessica as I left. Even at my locker, I'd only managed to grab some of the books I needed not bothering to put them in my book bag.

It wasn't until I was I was outside halfway to the car that I remembered James. I managed to spot Edward walking slowly towards the other end of the parking lot. I hurried toward him as fast as I could without tripping over myself while my head turned looking for James. I saw him making his way toward Edward with a scary look on his face. He was smiling. He stood in his way blocking the parking lot as Edward looked confused. Finally reaching them, I tripped falling down and dropping all of my books into the mud at James' feet. My knees stung as rocks and dirt cut into my skin, but I felt relieved that James was distracted.

_Pathetic freak… _He laughed and scoffed at me kicking some of my books and walked away feeling better.

"What the hell just happened?" Edward asked looking down at me as I wiped the mud off my hands.

"Bella! Are you okay?" Emmett appeared next to me helping me stack my books. "What happened?" he asked looking up at Edward.

"I don't know; that guy just – he wanted to start shit or something," he muttered confused as I walked away.

_She knew… _Emmett thought watching me stumble away. I stalked past Rose, Jasper, and Alice as they stood watching us confused.

_Are you okay? Where are you going? We can still give you a ride home! … _ I ignored Jasper's worried thoughts walking straight into the woods heading to my special place.

Running was main form of exercise, but hiking was my sport; it was my escape. I could be alone with just my own thoughts. But as I walked, occasionally stumbling, I could only concentrate on the designs of the dried mud that covered my math book.

I felt instantly more relaxed as I approached the small clearing. It was a small patch of unkempt grass with an old wooden bench surrounded by a forgotten garden. It used to be beautiful here filled with so many flowers that I couldn't remember the names. But in the spring, pink rhodies and blue camas blossoms would still bloom and at night you could see the stars if it wasn't too cloudy.

Tilde used to call it her meadow, the little piece of heaven she shared with her husband Graham. I never met him, but it felt like I knew him from the stories she told me. Matilda Masen, Tilde as I called her, was one of my adopted grandmothers. From when I was four until I was nine, Tilde watched me on long weekends and holidays when Dad was at work. I even went over there after school to do my homework. But Tilde was kind and caring. She had that loving quality about her and she was funny too. She would tell me stories about her life with Graham and her daughter. I met her a few times – the last was after Tilde died. But when it wasn't raining we would go outside and we'd garden a little. Her favorite spot was this little meadow located on the far back corner of the Masen property.

I set my stuff down on the bench and plopped myself on the tall, wet grass. I started to break down. I cried for my pathetic life, for Tilde; I cried because Edward Stupid Cullen was the answer to all of my problems. And I was sure he hated me as I hated him.

Rose and Jasper were waiting for me on my couch when I got home. They were silent as I changed in the hallway bathroom cleaning up and putting on my pajamas. I curled up in between them as I stared at the movie they were watching. Gone in 60 Seconds… It was a movie they both loved and almost completely worn out my VHS copy.

"I'm a baaaaad man," we quoted in unison cracking each other up. I groaned as I started to tell them everything.

"So you heard nothing when he touched you?" Rose asked when I finished.

"I could still hear, just no voices in my head," I said.

"Do you know what this means?" Jasper asked with an excited smile. "He could be the one Bella!"

"The one what?" I asked.

"The one! You know, your soul mate – one soul but in two bodies," he smiled almost giddy. "It's perfect. You could be together and he would be able to keep his thoughts private!"

"Well, can his soul read minds too?" I scoffed at him.

"What is wrong with you?" Rose asked staring at him like he had two heads… which at this particular time he did.

"What?" he asked looking at us with knitted eyes.

"You're being weird!" I told him. "And girly."

"Well I can't help it; I'm so excited because this is perfect," he told us.

"Are you on drugs?" Rosalie scooted back away from him.

"What's wrong? Why aren't you excited?" he asked us.

"Ugh, because it's not perfect. I don't date. He's not even my type, plus he hates me and I don't even know him," I told him.

"Bells you don't have a type. He's good-looking, and you can't read his mind – that's the only type you need," Jasper shook his head at me.

"Ugh, he's kind of right Bella," Rose agreed.

"What happened to '_Bah humbug. All guys are dicks!'_?" I asked her.

"Bells…" she started.

"No, I have a type and Edward Cullen doesn't fit," I said in a silencing tone. I worked my brain trying to figure out if I really did have a type. The only boyfriend I had was Jasper, but he was the only boy that really knew me…

I don't have type at all I finally decided… I really should think about reconsidering girls again.

"I think you should go for it," Rose finally said breaking the silence.

"What?" I looked at her.

"I mean, at least try to be his friend… cause you can never have too many friends," she defended herself weakly.

"Yeah be friends and then you'll fall in-" Jaz started.

"Fine whatever," I groaned. "How am I supposed to be friends with him if he won't even let me talk to him?"

"Just be nice and smile a lot and laugh at his jokes," he suggested.

"Yeah because he loves to tell jokes," I scoffed.

"That sounds an awful lot like flirting," Rose said turning back to the movie. "You've been watching Mom's movies again, haven't you?"

"Whatever works," he shrugged his shoulders.

"Was it Breakfast At Tiffany's?" she continued.

"No, I'm not doing it," I said. "Something IS wrong with you

"Then pretend it's Jasper," she nudged me.

"I can't pretend that he's Jasper! I can hear Jaz's thoughts; it'll just drive me insane that-"

"Fine then," Jasper snapped. "Pretend he's just another girl…"

"And stop asking if he has a vagina," Rose laughed.

"Right, so ignore him or treat him like a snobby bitch? Yeah that'll work," I scoffed.

"Pretend it's Angela; you're friendly enough with her," he suggested.

"Alright I'll try," I surrendered. "But I'm only doing this for you," I said to Jasper "You better ask Alice out soon, before I screw it up for you."

"I bet it was Titanic. Did you cry again?" Rose asked glancing at him.

"No," he snorted loudly before muttering, "It was Gone with the Wind."

* * *

AN: so yeah, I decided that it'll mostly be Bella's POV... there could be a slight chance of an EPOV... we'll see how it goes.

I always forget what I'm supposed to tell you guys.

Oh, I don't know what happened to Jasper either... he's usually not like that. And I've never seen Gone with the Wind or the read the book even though I live in Georgia. We like to take pride in stuff like that. People in other places do it too right? Because if I live in Scotland, I would totally be bragging about Sean Connery...

Oh and school starts tomorrow for me. yippee! my World Lit book actually scares me when I flip through it. the pages are so thin like the Bible....

Look what you made me do; I've babbled killing you all with boredom.

THANKS FOR READING!!


	3. None of It Does

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

* * *

**None of It Does**

**Chapter 3**

The next day I left my I-pod in my bag feeling confident that I was strong enough without it. I was able to block out their thoughts most of the morning until lunch.

_Man I wish I had a little brother …_ Ben Cheney thought as he watched Angela eat lunch with her little brother. Though, it wasn't the actual sibling he wanted, it was the way _in_ that he wanted.

_Yellow, yellow, yellow… _

_Red… _

_Black, please be black… _

Sometimes it astounded me to know that boys did the grossest and stupidest things like betting on what color underwear Lauren Mallory was wearing. I turned to the rest of the table hoping to be distracted and not wanting to know anything about Lauren's underwear.

"Hey Edward," Emmett said sitting up straighter to look over Alice's head. "You know what I've just realized?"

"What?" he grunted with half a sandwich in his mouth.

"Maybe Imes is a ghost or a poltergeist," he said thoughtfully.

"Maybe," he shrugged his shoulders continuing his lunch. Everyone else broke off into their own little conversations as I tuned them out nibbling on my lunch. I wasn't too hungry after I discovered that Lauren was wearing _pink_…

_You with your switchblade posse, I'll get my guns from the south… _The song was catchy and I couldn't help but sing along because Jasper had spent all of last week singing it.

"We'll take to the yard like a cockfight, four kicks whose strutting now," I mumbled lowly. I felt a heavy thud on the table and everyone turned to look at Emmett who was just staring at me. My heart skipped a beat that it was beating so fast… It hadn't been Jasper singing.

"Do I have something on my face?" I asked playing dumb listening intently to his thoughts. I couldn't understand him he was speaking so fast, and it sounded like Spanish. But I barely understood Spanish because the gods had given Forks Mrs. Chea, a Chinese woman who taught Spanish…

"Let me see," Rose said tilting my face even looking up my nose as I swatted at her. "I don't see anything. Did you finish that book I gave you?" She asked playing along. I loved Rose; she was very perceptive and sly as a fox.

"Yeah it was good. You said there was a sequel?" We continued our fake conversation until everyone went back to what they were doing. Edward and Alice were talking about some movie, and Rose and Jaz were making conversation with Emmett. I kept listening to his mind, but he was very intent on concentrating to what they were saying.

In Biology, I was the one to scoot my chair as far as I could. Edward made me very nervous, and I wasn't sure how I should react to him. In gym, the boys were playing a game of basketball as the girls watched, and my mind went into a frenzy of theories about Edward. He had brain cancer or at least a tumor. Bitten by radioactive spiders. Drench in nuclear wastes. Or he had his own curse to deal with... Most likely, most reasonably, he had a tumor.

But subtlety was not my greatest strength. How do you tell someone to got get a brain scan? 'Oh hey Edward, I know you hate me and all, but you might want to get a brain scan. I think you have a tumor.' I remembered some of the stories Charlie used to tell me about when I was a baby. When I was three, I used to complain about headaches and voices; he took me to the doctor and found nothing wrong with me. They figured it was something like Tinnitus, but I learned real quick to keep my mouth shut when therapists and asylums were brought up in Charlie's mind. He'd never actually send me away, but it did cross his mind a few times wondering if he was doing the right thing by not seeking treatment for me. So far I've concurred with his decisions.

But I wasn't supposed to be asking about his vagina or other strange questions. I was supposed to be friendly-ish, and then there was this whole other issue with Emmett. I'd been so careless around him. Usually guys won't pick that stuff up… well I didn't actually talk to that many guys - only one really. But I did make the offhand comment and mess with a guy once in a blue moon. But with Emmett I messed up. Now when I'm around all he thinks about is food or the rock in his shoe, and during classes he concentrates on his work and then there are some slips about Rose. But nothing crude or vulgar… he's just fascinated by her. He has the possibility of being a stupid anomaly… just a possibility.

A ball slammed against the bleachers waking me out of my trance. "Bella, please watch out," Emmett begged me as he ran over to get the ball. I nodded and focused my eyes on the game. With my luck I would be the one to end up in the emergency room because of a basketball to the face. My eyes drifted among the guys running up and down the court, but they ended up on Edward. I didn't even know a person could be that graceful. He ran swiftly between players and passed the ball to someone else. He paused with his hands on his hips breathing hard watching the other guys run down the court.

_Bella duck! _I heard Emmett yell.

I dropped my head to my knees as the ball flew over me bouncing to a stop up higher on the bleachers. My heart stopped and my face blanched when I saw Emmett on the other side of the gym staring, gaping at me. Only then I realized that he hadn't shouted it; he'd only thought it.

I ran out of the locker room like a bat out of hell making my way to the parking lot hoping to leave before Emmett found me. Maybe if he slept on the idea, he'd realize how crazy it all was. Maybe he'd think he imagined it all up and stop drinking so much caffeine. I doubled my pace when I saw Rosalie by the car, but it hadn't been enough…

"Bella wait," I looked to see Emmett walking toward me. I stopped and waited until he was standing in front of me. "I think we need to talk."

"Come on Em, let's go," Edward said as he walked passed us.

"You go ahead I'm catching a ride with Bella," Emmett told him causing him to turn at us quickly.

"Why?" he asked sharply.

"I'm helping her with her math," he said before Edward walked to his car and drove away with a scary glare on his face. I looked over to where Jasper and Rose were watching me and waved them off. We'd be walking home today…

"Come on, let's go to my house," I said starting to walk out into the parking lot.

"So where's your car?" he asked.

"I don't have one; we're walking," I told him. "I don't live that far away."

"No one does," he joked as we walked in awkward silence to my house. It was only a fifteen minute walk. My house was small, but homey – a tiny, two story with cracking white paint and a faded blue door with matching shutters. And Dad has always worked his ass off to pay the bills all by his self.

"This is it," I mumbled letting the door open and allowed him in.

"You're a mind reader," he said as soon as the front door shut. He looked at me for a response, but he continued when I couldn't say anything. "Are we going to have a pop quiz in Mrs. Chea's class tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't know," I mumbled nervously. Was this really the first thing to ask me?

"But you just-"

"It's only guys. I can't hear girls," I interrupted him staring intently at the invisible patterns on the wall.

"That doesn't make sense," he murmured as he tried to reason it out.

"None of it does Emmett… you're not actually freaked out by this?" I asked him.

"Nah, I think it's awesome – explains your weirdness too," he grinned. "Oh man, I should have warned Ed."

"What does that mean? What about Edward?" I asked failing to be nonchalant.

"Like you don't know," he scoffed winking at me before noticing my clueless expression. "Wait, don't you know?"

"Know what?"

"You don't," he said puzzled.

"No… I… I can't read him for some reason," I admitted feeling embarrassed. It kind of seemed humiliating - not being able to read a guy - for some reason.

"Does that happen a lot?"

"Never," I told him feeling a bit agitated.

"Hmmm… that's why you asked if he had a vagina," he laughed.

"It made sense to me at the time," I muttered.

"Wait until I-" he started.

"No!" I cut him off before he could even finish the thought. "Emmett, you can't tell anyone! Promise me? Please? I'll do anything you want just don't tell anyone!" I begged.

"Relax Bella, your secret's safe with me," he said holding up his hands like he was surrendering.

"For now," I grumbled. I looked back up at Emmett as he sighed loudly. Dropping his book bag and tugging off his jacket, he pulled the hem of his shirt over his head. Panic filled me as I stared speechless at his muscled stomach. He wanted me to have sex with him?!

"What are you doing?" I asked him harshly not intending to partake, but I gasped as he turned around. His thoughts rolled quickly through my mind like a movie as I looked over the scars that covered his back. Memories of a large man with a belt, long nights of crying in a closet, and a small house crowded with kids and a small woman yelling at him in Spanish…

"My dad was abusive when I was little. One of my teachers found out and I ended up in the foster system where my mom adopted me," he told me turning around. A large tattoo of a family crest covered one of the worst areas on the back of his left shoulder.

"Why are you showing me this?" I asked.

"You showed me yours, I showed you mine… I can keep a secret, and now we're even. I won't tell anyone," he promised.

"Thank you, I'm sorry about-" I started to mention the scars.

"Don't worry about it," he said struggled to put his shirt back on.

"Well then I'm sorry I thought you were going to demand sex," I joked nervously as he squinted his eyes at me.

"Would you have done it if I had?" he smiled.

"No," I snorted. "My father is the Chief of Police; I do know some self defense."

"Good to know," he shook his head. "Can I ask you a favor though?"

"I can't," I told him seeing ideas of pranks in his head.

"It doesn't have to be big or anything. It could be simple like Rock Paper Scissors. That'll aggravate the hell out of Edward."

"I think it'll be very difficult to do since I can't read him, remember? Plus I don't want anyone else to know especially him," I told him.

"Ugh, Bella," he whined.

"What's with the tattoo?" I asked him with a smirk.

"You haven't seen a tattoo. It doesn't exist until I turn 18," he told me with wide eyes. "My dad will kill me."

"Don't worry I can keep a secret," I mocked.

"I guess you know a lot of secrets, huh? You're like the ultimate secret keeper," he joked.

"Right… so um what are you going to tell Edward?" I asked.

"About what?" he asked confused.

"About why you're here?"

"Oh, uh math tutoring?" he suggested.

"Oh okay… could you really help me with my math?"

The next day at lunch, I had a huge headache and my I-pod wasn't helping at all. It laid silently in the secret pocket of my hoodie, and my head was pounding and I was ten minutes away from skipping class. But I really needed to stick through it though because I only had so many days that I could write off. And honestly school stirs up the routine of boredom at my house, so even though I hate it, I have to admit I needed Forks High.

_Hey Bella, can you hear me now? _Emmett continued to talk to me through his thoughts like he'd been doing all morning and ignoring my glares.

_How about now?_

It was weird and annoying to have someone else that knew about my curse and… kind of nice too. But I definitely wasn't going to stand up on my chair and make a big announcement about it anytime soon. And also I hadn't told Rose and Jasper that he knew. I didn't want them to feel… disappointed? in me that I had told someone about my curse. Though I hadn't _told_ Emmett; he found out on his own which I thought was worse… I gave Emmett a small smile before kicking him in the shin, and I turned my attention back to the rest of the table and saw Edward looking at me. I smiled wearily and he looked away. That had been smile attempt #4 and still no reaction.

"So Bells, thought anymore about your type?" Rose asked me trying to bring me into the conversation.

"My what?"

"You know, your type of guy?" She asked again gaining everyone's attention. Alice smiled at me with a curious look in her eye. I hadn't really thought about it much, but I was determined to have a decent friendly conversation with her for Jasper's sake.

"Um," I wracked my brain for something good to say. "I don't know."

"Like height, hair, funniness, attractiveness, intelligence, athleticism," Alice suggested counting them off on her fingers.

"Uh, yes?" I shrugged my shoulders unsure of how to answer.

"How have we not had this conversation before?" Rose laughed shaking her head at me.

"How about we make this easier; would you rather want him to be taller or shorter than you?" Alice asked again with a smile.

"Taller," I nodded.

"Body type – slim, lanky, ripped, pudgy-" she continued.

"Healthy," I told her cutting her off.

"Would you rather he be funnier than smart or vice versa?" Rose asked.

"Smarter than funny," I thought quickly. I'd rather listen to a guy process information rather than think of crude jokes.

"Would you rather he be able to throw a football 50 yards or play an instrument in a band?" Alice asked again.

"Band," I said remembering that guys who were able to read music were generally smarter than people who didn't.

"Hmmm, guitar or drums?"

"Piano," I grinned as Emmett struggled to hold back his laughter.

"How romantic should he be?" she asked again with a serious tone.

"What?"

"Like a lot of special dates and anniversaries or lots of handholding, compliments, long talks…" Alice continued to babble as I sent a look to Jasper saying 'this is what you're getting yourself into'.

"No, none of that," I cut her off as I stared at Emmett whose face was cherry red.

"She likes piano players, Edward," he said actually giggling. I knitted my eyes at him as he looked at back at me. _Edward plays the piano... _he told me.

As we left lunch, I should have felt better. My headache was gone and I spent 15 minutes talking to Alice about my type, but the comment that Emmett made, made me nervous for some reason. There was no possible reason for me to like Edward in that way… it would be impossible… said the girl who can read minds…

In biology, I spent the entire time staring down at an empty page of my notebook and listening to the failing attempts of note taking. Mike Newton was trying to decide who to ask out first, Ben was struggling to pay attention due to Angela's vanilla perfume, and Edward was still keeping his thoughts to himself. I couldn't help but watch him out of the corner of my eye. He'd fiddle with this wide leather bracelet on his right arm, and his leg bounced at a constant, quick pace as he stared down at a blank piece of paper. I guess he was too perfect to take notes.

The girls played another game as I sat with my trig homework on the bleachers. I almost laughed out loud when I heard Coach Clapp check me off for participation.

_Stanley, in the game, check. Swan…on the bleachers and out of the way, check. Thomas, game check. _

I sat on the highest row leaning against the brick wall of the gym, knowing I wouldn't be target practice this high up, with Emmett and Edward. The only reason Edward was there was because Emmett was trying to help me with my work… trying to. I would sit silently as Emmett slowly worked out the problem on my paper explaining with his thoughts. I already thought I was in trouble, but now I _knew_ that I was in deep trouble. The work during the first week of school was supposed to be easy, but I was just getting frustrated with all the numbers, the tangling thoughts, and the presence of Edward dizzying me.

"Em, I don't think you're a very good teacher. She doesn't look like she understands any of it," Edward laughed in a smooth voice as Emmett and I glared at him.

"It's too noisy in here," he snapped. _Ignore him. _

"You're not even explaining it to her. She can't learn it from just watching you," Edward continued.

"I'm learning just fine," I said turning away from them staring at the problem. I'd given up on apologizing to Edward, well trying to apologize. I was almost surprised that he didn't run away just then. I'd been watching him out of the corner of my eye since lunch waiting for him to make a joke or something for me to respond to nicely except he just sat there watching me and Emmett with a scowl on his face. As I felt their stares, I wrote down a lame answer shutting the book irritated. None of it was making any sense to me.

I stumbled as I tried to move down the bleachers and Edward gripped my arm to settle me. I felt like my heart was going to pound right out of my chest as my mind tried to comprehend the silence. I jerked my arm away and ignored their stares as the flooding thoughts soothed me. Why were the gods being so cruel to me?

"So what do you guys think about that new zombie movie? I think it'll be really good," Alice asked starting off our conversation the next day at lunch.

"Yeah looks awesome," Jasper hurriedly agreed.

"Oh we should all go see it. Where's the closest theater?" Emmett asked as if he had memorized the words… which he had.

"Port Angeles," Alice replied giving Emmett a slight nod. My body froze as I looked over at a disappointed-looking Jasper. Rose looked at me frowning and knowing that we couldn't go. To be exact, it was I who couldn't go; Rose and Jaz were just too loyal to hurt my feelings.

"Sounds fun," I smiled back at Alice who smiled brightly back me.

"Great! I'll look up the times," she spoke excitedly pulling out her cell phone.

_You don't have to do this Bella. We can do something else… _Jasper shook his head as he shared his thoughts with me.

One of the little problems that come with the curse is that I don't do well with large crowds. I guess I could be classified as an agoraphobic, but not a severe case like one of those people who'd get panic attacks by just leaving the house. I can only imagine how awful theaters are now, but I have a pretty good idea from watching movies in class. Every other guy is thinking about how hot the girl is onscreen or how hard a girl is making them, but that's not the reason for me not going. I haven't been to a movie theater since _Toy Story_. First and last movie I ever went to. I had seen all the previews on TV and I begged Dad for weeks to take me. When I finally convinced him, he took me in the morning of a school day. I was so excited, but unfortunately every stay-at-home-mom had the same idea. The room had been packed with screaming kids and I only lasted fifteen minutes before I passed out.

"For tonight there's a showing at 7:15 and 7:45, which one do you guys want to do?" Alice asked shaking her phone in her palm.

"How long does it take to get up there?" Emmett asked reciting his lines.

"Takes like an hour fifteen if you follow speed limits," Rose answered as Emmett grinned at her happy for the response.

"It'll take Edward thirty minutes," Alice continued. "We could all take the Jeep. It'll fit all of us."

"Um," I coughed clearing my throat. "I'm not allowed to ride with anyone else until I'm eighteen except for Rosalie and Jasper… my dad's rule." With my dad being a police officer, he's seen all the speeding tickets and car accidents, of which 95 percent involve teenagers.

"Oh alright, we'll just take two cars for the 7:45 showing, sound good?" Alice asked us as we agreed. "Edward?"

"What? Oh, yes, sounds awesome," he rolled his eyes at her. Alice continued to beam as we finished lunch, and when the bell rang, everyone scattered except for Jasper and me.

"You don't have to go; you can pull the sick card at the last minute," he tried again.

"Jaz, this is important to you. I can suffer for two hours in a dark room; it can't be any worse than this place, right?" I joked. I could have easily agreed to bailing out, but I couldn't not go. Jasper needed me to be a part of _the group, _and Rose needed me for backup. In public, guys were always hitting on her, and tonight Jasper would be too focused on Alice. Mrs. Hale had named her perfectly; Rose was just a magnet. She drew everybody in like bees to a flower.

"Thanks Bella, I owe you one," he sighed giving me a quick hug.

In Biology I couldn't concentrate at all. Apparently perfect Edward had to wear contacts, because he was wearing a pair of eyeglasses when I entered the room. They were thick oval lenses and the dark frames reminded me of something from the 1950's. I couldn't help but look at him as he stared down at his biology book. I didn't know a pair of glasses could be sexy, but guess what, they were on Edward.

"Could you stop staring at me?" he whispered harshly still looking down at his book.

"What?" I asked startled.

"You're staring," he turned to glance at me for a split second.

"Oh sorry, you've got an eyelash on your cheek," I mumbled motioning to my cheek. I turned away from him for the rest of the period, tossing my hair to the left side to shield him from my view.

In gym I managed to not look at him…so much. Being Friday, Coach Clapp let us have a free day with the choice of basketball or bleachers. I chose the bleachers and Emmett joined me after a game.

"So what happened at lunch? What was all that about?" he asked as I flipped through my math book.

"You caught that?" I asked knowing he was referring to Jasper and me.

"Well Edward did, and he asked me, and I remembered you guys were kind of weird," he babbled.

"Jasper and Rose feel bad because I don't do movies," I sighed.

"What?"

"It's hard for me to go to crowded places. Forks is not a problem; we've got a town population of 3500, but Port Angeles and Seattle are a little hard on me. And I don't really get to enjoy the movie with all the mind reading… So Jaz and Rose usually don't go to that many movies. I don't even know what's playing now," I finished my rant.

"Wow that sucks… I guess it's like someone talking in your ear during the whole movie," he mumbled more to himself than to me.

"Can I ask you something?" I looked over at him nervous before glancing toward the court. "What's Edward's deal?" I tried looking into his mind but all I got was Spanish and some Chinese?

"Uh well, all I can really say is that Edward is just being Edward…," he muttered watching Edward. "Why? Has he been mean to you still?"

"Not really… don't say anything to him, but we're not exactly on friendly terms," I told him thinking about all of my attempted smiles.

"I wouldn't really worry about it; he'll come around eventually, but you could always try starting over. I'd bet he'd go for it; it's something he would do," he suggested.

"Alright," I agreed. I'd never do it. Edward intimidated the hell out of me. "What's with the Chinese?" I asked him circling my finger at his head.

"Chinese? Oh, it's Vietnamese… I learned it when I was living in the system. My friend Quang taught me some, but I only remember a little. I'm friends with him on Facebook; he's name is Kevin if you want to look him up."

"Kevin?"

"It's his American name. His birth mother even gave it to him, but both his parents died in a car accident. He didn't stay long though; adopting parents love Asians," he mocked looking down at his knees.

"Oh … well I don't have a Facebook," I told him trying to change the subject.

"Everyone has a Facebook," he looked up at me. "Or a Myspace."

"I don't. I don't need one. But Rose and Jaz both have one… They have friends back in Texas," I told him.

"Oh… can I ask you a question?" he asked nervously as I nodded. "What happened to Rosalie?"

"Uh," I stuttered startled by his question.

"I _know_ something's bad happened; I've seen it before," he murmured.

"I can't tell you; it's her secret. But it's nothing horrific like you're thinking… but it was still bad," I told him seeing his ideas of rape and assault. He _had_ seen it before…

"Emmett!" A yell startled the both of us. "Come on, let's go," Edward called from the bottom of the bleachers dressed in his regular clothes with his book bag hanging off his shoulder. Looking around the gym, students were coming from the locker rooms and Coach Clapp was placing basketballs onto the rack.

"Crap," Emmett groaned as he hurried down the bleachers. "See you later Bella."

I muttered a goodbye as I stuffed my book back into my bag and slowly made my way down to the floor. As I glanced up, I found Edward still watching me, and when he realized I was looking at him he disappeared quickly through the doorway.

I found Rosalie standing against her car people-watching as she waited for me and Jasper. Apparently he was supposed to be helping her with her books, but I bet that they haven't stopped flirting yet to even open her locker.

"So I was thinking..." she started as I stood next to her.

"Shocking," I gasped at her joking.

"You should set up a truce or whatever with Edward. I don't know what ya'lls problems are but you guys need to get your act together. Especially since we'll be hanging out with them a lot more now," she told me.

"Yeah okay," I agreed with her. "Emmett suggested the same thing… but in a nicer way."

"Huh," she mumbled.

"Yep," I smiled peeking at her.

"Well _I_ think you should do it as soon as possible," she continued.

"Okay," I nodded knowing I wasn't going to do it.

"Good, he's right over there," she nudged me. I looked across the parking lot to see him standing behind his shiny Volvo with the trunk open.

"Do I have to do it now?" I whined. I hadn't expected her to force me to do it especially so soon.

"Go!" she laughed pushing me forward. I groaned as I walked carefully on the pavement in his direction. Like all Fridays, kids were pulling out of the lot quickly and I tended to be invisible to mostly everyone. As I got closer, I noticed Edward was flipping through his I-pod. Again I noted his leather bracelet, and it bothered me that he wore it on his right arm. Usually if a person is right-handed, which Edward is, they'd were a watch or jewelry on their left arm, not the right. It didn't make sense; neither did the face that I had been even pondering about it. But hopefully now that he was distracted, I could sneak up on him before he tried to get away; or maybe he would continue to ignore me, so I didn't have to actually go through with this.

I was within an arm's reach of him when I heard the loud honking behind me. It all seemed to play out in slow motion…

Tyler Crowley's van was speeding down the aisle trying to get out of the parking lot as Jessica Stanley's white Honda started to pull out of her space. He swerved around her as she slammed on her brakes, but he had swerved too far… toward us. My body hit something hard as I moved to get out of the way, and I found myself on the ground scrunched up and covered in shattered glass.

I felt light raindrops on my face as I tried to sit up, and it was then I realized that I was lying on top of Edward. I rolled off of him careful of the glass and stretched out my body. The back of my head was throbbing as I looked over at Edward to see the area above his right eyebrow bleeding.

"Bella! Bella! Move damn it! Get out of my way! Bella," Rose's voice sounded over us. I looked up to see her shoving people who were crowded around us.

"Edward?!" Emmett was right behind her with a worried look on his face.

"Stop screaming," Edward groaned next to me as he sat up holding his head.

"Are you okay?" I tried asking him but my voice was drowned out by the familiar sound of sirens...

I stared down at my worn out tennis shoes trying to make myself disappear. I could hear Edward shifting on the wax paper on the cot across from me, and I tugged on my shirt again missing my hoodie that had been taken away.

"Oh Edward," a smooth voice sounded as someone entered the room crashing through the double doors. "Thank heavens you're alright." I think my jaw actually dropped at the sight of the gorgeous man. This had to be the infamous Dr. Cullen, and the nurses hadn't been lying. Aside from the blonde hair and the nose, he was a clone copy of Edward.

"I'm fine Dad. It's just a little scratch," Edward muttered as his father hugged him and examined his face.

"Where are your glasses? You're not wearing your contacts," he scolded him as he flashed his light into his eyes.

"Dad," he grumbled pulling them on.

"Bella?!" My father's voice broke me out of my trance; he entered the ER with an anxious expression.

"Hi," I smiled weakly as he gripped my shoulder. "I'm fine I swear; nothing's bleeding," I told him holding up fingers wiggling them.

"Jesus, you're going to give me a heart attack one of these days," he mumbled as he quickly kissed the top of hair. I wasn't too worried about that. My dad was very young compared to the other fathers of kids in my class. He was barely nineteen when I was born and he remained mostly fit and healthy over the years. And as of the Chief of Police, the worst thing he has to worry about is stupid kids.

"Didn't Rose call you?" I asked him as it had become customary for her to do.

"Yes, but there's a hundred kids out in the waiting room; I figured there had to be a lot of blood to draw that big of a crowd," he told me as I mentally scoffed. Most likely they're fans of Edward's or just bored. The news of the accident will be spreading around Forks until Monday. "Carlisle," he nodded toward Edward's father.

"Charlie," he returned with a handshake. "I assume this is your daughter Isabella. Hello, I'm Dr. Cullen, but you can call me Carlisle," he smiled at me.

"Bella," I corrected him as shined his light in my eyes. I stared at him as he asked me a few questions and realized his eyes weren't emerald green like Edward's. They were a strange golden hazel-y color.

"Alright I'm still going to subscribe a few painkillers for you just in case; sometimes head injuries can be fickle, and it might hurt later on," Dr. Cullen continued as I tuned out. I couldn't help but glance at the four-eyed boy across from me.

Four Eyes was supposed to be a humiliating term that school children used to bully each other. It was supposed to be demeaning and crushing, yet none of that came to my mind when I looked at Edward. The thick lenses seemed to enhance his green eyes, and the frames softened his square face. Edward Four Eyes Cullen and his stupid beautiful glasses… Why were the gods rubbing someone so perfect in my face?

"I should also be thanking you Bella," Dr. Cullen pulled me from my trance.

"For what?" I asked confused.

"From what I've heard, if you hadn't been there, Edward would be in a much worse state," he told me glancing at Edward.

"Oh," I shook my head trying my best not to blush. "I didn't," I stammered unsure of what to say. How am I supposed to respond? 'Yeah you better thank me!' And honestly I don't know how we ended up safely curled up in the little nook that the two cars created. In time of stress, our body was supposed to react in a fight or flight fashion. It could have been my instincts that "fought" for our protection; but I think my response was flight, and Edward was just in the path of my escape route.

"Hey Charlie," Sue smiled appearing next to us. "There's some paperwork for you to fill out at the front desk. Oh and Bella, I made sure to get out all of the glass for you." She handed me back my hoodie, and I eagerly pulled it on to cover up my fruits.

"Thanks Sue," I called out to her as she and my dad left the room. Sue Clearwater was a nurse here at Forks General even though she lived on the reservation in La Push, and she also happened to be my dad's secret girlfriend. They'd been seeing each other for the past five years, but I guess Dad keeps it a secret for my benefit… which I understand – not wanting me to witness anything non-G rated.

"Dad, the car…" Edward mumbled whining to his dad.

"It'll be alright; we can get it fixed," Dr. Cullen reassured him, and I rolled my eyes at Edward which did not go unnoticed. Dr. Cullen excused himself as his pager went off, and when I glanced back at Edward, he was glaring right back at me.

"Why is it that whenever you're around weird shit always happens?!" he asked harshly. "Every time I look around, you're there. It's like you're stalking me! Why were you even there?"

"Stalking you?!" I stammered feeling the anger bubbling up in me.

"And you are so rude and pretentious. Like what has Alice ever done to you? She is the kindest person ever, and you treat her like crap like you do everyone else."

"I - ugh!" I grunted angrily choking on my words. "I've apologized to Alice, and she accepted. I've quit trying to apologize to you because every time I open my mouth you run away. But you don't know me, and you don't understand anything." I slid off the wax paper and walked out of the room trying to keep myself from crying. I gave up when I found Dad flirting with Sue at the front desk.

"Bells, what's wrong?" he asked looking me over and then his eyes flicked behind me to the set of double doors.

"I just need to go home," I muttered breathing heavily.

Dad didn't say a word as he us drove home. Charlie Swan was not an emotional man. I mean he wasn't an impassive doorknob, but he didn't wear his heart on his sleeve. Nope, he wore it in the "manly" place under several layers of tissue near the bone, but I knew he loved me and cared about me immensely. I didn't need to hear him say it every day when I could see him thinking about me all the time… even though I really wasn't supposed to be listening. Around the time the normal kids discovered each other – you know when the boys started running toward the girls instead of away from them - I kind of made a deal with my Dad. I'd tried my best to block him so that he could have some privacy. Now knowing how boys think, I don't know how he was able to NOT think about certain R-rated things all those years. I mean he's still a man. Though I was a heavy sleeper…

"Bells," Dad stopped me from opening the door of the cruiser as we sat in our driveway. "Did that boy do something to you?"

"No," I sighed. "Just an argument." I hadn't told him about not being able to read Edward before, partly because I didn't want him to worry. But mostly it was because if I pretended it wasn't true, then eventually it wouldn't be.

"You know if you ever have any problems, you can come to me," he told me fiddling with the car keys. "I know something's been bothering you lately…You don't always have to do things on your own."

"I know. It's just that," I started. "That Edward guy… I can't hear him, so things have been… off. Nothing seems to make sense anymore."

"Hmph," he grunted mulling it over. "Maybe he has higher levels of estrogen."

"I don't know," I cracked a smile. "I already asked him if he was born a girl."

"What?" he chuckled making me feel better and less embarrassed.

"Yeah, he didn't take the suggestion too well."

"Huh, well all I can say is that sometimes life just refuses to make sense."

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AN: This was originally ch 3 & 4 but I decided last minute to put them together because practically chapters 2,3,4 all run together as one anyway. And sorry for the mixed tenses… I wrote it out in present tense, but it's better typed as past tense…

I hoped you liked it. Ch. 2 had wrapped nicely and I hope I did that with this one too…

**Imes **is pronounced like Times but without the T… it's important. kind of. That's why I told you… ; )

Song lyrics: Four Kicks by Kings of Leon

THANKS FOR READING!!


	4. Every Little Thing

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

* * *

**Every Little Thing  
Chapter 4**

I didn't expect to deal with my situation with Edward until at least lunchtime on Monday. I hadn't expected Rose waiting in the rocking chair by my bed for me to wake up Saturday morning.

"Here put these on," Rose told me as she flung clothes at me as I opened my eyes squinting at the bright light.

"Goo moaning to you too," I mumbled sitting up as she started pacing the room.

"I was under strict orders not to wake you; Charlie was very reluctant to even let me up here. But look out your window, what do you see?" she asked pointing toward the window.

"What do I see?" I asked her not moving from my extremely comfortable bed.

"Look out there!" she told me pulling away my warm sheets. If it hadn't been for her urgent tone, I would have completely ignored her. Falling out of bed, I shrugged out of my pajamas and pulled on the clothes Rose had thrown at me.

"What do I see?" I said looking out of window to see my normal view of my front yard. To the left, Mr. Goldstein getting his mail and some trees. To the right, more trees, the Hale house, and a giant Jeep in her driveway. "A Jeep?"

"And who do you know drives a Jeep?" she asked annoyed.

"No one," I looked over at her confused. "Oh! I totally forgot; how was the movie?"

"Pssh, yeah right, we didn't go," she scoffed at me.

"Why not?"

"Why not?! Because you and Edward were almost killed yesterday, you idiot. Plus it would just have been me, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett," she said leaning toward the window to look at her house.

"Oh… so Emmett's at your house?"

"And he's not alone," she gave me a meaningful look, and I didn't need to read her mind to know what she meant. "And they've been there all morning; apparently Emmett dragged Edward over here to apologize for something that I don't KNOW about, but Charlie chased them off to my house. Jasper's been entertaining all _three_ of them over there since."

"Yesterday at the hospital," I sighed heavily sitting on my bed slipping on my socks. "Edward called me a rude and pretentious stalker, and I pretty much ran away."

"Pretentious? Are you sure he was talking about you?" she asked giving me an unsure look.

"Yeah I'm a little positive on that one."

"It's always the pretty ones," she grumbled. "Come on let's go."

"Okay okay," I finished pulling on my rain boots and hurried down the stairs after her.

"Rosalie!" Dad scolded her as we passed the living room.

"I didn't wake her. I swear!" she yelled walking out the front door.

"Wait a minute, Bells," Dad called after me. I dragged my feet into the living room where he was watching TV. "Did she wake you?"

"No," I grinned. "For once."

"Okay, where are you going?" he asked giving me that skeptical look – the one with the raised eyebrow.

"Hale house," I told him even though I knew that he knew where and what I was going to do.

"You know those boys were over here this morning. The big one had a stupid smile on his face," he said turning back to the TV.

"That's Emmett… he kind of knows everything… about me," I told him staring down at the rug on the floor.

"What? Everything everything?" he gaped at me dropping the remote.

"Yeah," I stood there shuffling my feet.

"You okay with that?" he asked.

"Yeah, Emmett's… Emmett is a good guy Dad. Be nicer to him next time," I said staring at the back door noticing the leather bag that hung on the coat rack. "I'm going for a hike afterward."

"Be careful," he nodded un-muting the TV. "And take the purse."

I didn't see Rose waiting for me on the front porch as I pulled the leather strap of the bag over my head, but I did see a tall figure making its way toward me. I didn't think I even needed eyes to know who it was. Like usual, he looked beautiful as he trudged through the wet grass looking down to watch where he was going with hands stuffed into pockets. He stopped when he saw me, and I met him halfway standing between the two houses.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Edward told me still staring downward at the grass, refusing to even glance at me.

"Right, I know Emmett dragged you over here, and I don't want your half-assed apology," I told him causing him to meet my eyes. "Look… I know I'm the freak of Forks," I grimaced. "And I'll try to stay out of your way and I'm sorry for any future inconveniences." I turned away from him and headed toward the wooded path behind my house.

"Wait… you're not a freak," he said in a firm tone that made me turn around to see if he was actually serious. "You're not."

"No, but I'm a pretentious stalker, right?" I said reminding him of his words as he shook his head. "Don't worry about it." I turned away from him and made my way to the meadow. It wasn't a very long walk, but it was considered to be a nice day for Forks so I trekked slowly.

Rude and pretentious… that's what he called me. Rude, I was aware of. I knew that I didn't have the best manners when it came to my peers, but I think they earned it. Pretentious though, I did not agree. I wasn't sure of his definition, but the definition that I knew meant arrogant… conceited… showy… exaggerated… Me? I was Bella Swan, the invisible freak and rejected lesbian of Forks High. I was the girl who always walked around other people in the halls and the girl who refused make up and stylish clothes. I was not pretentious; he only thought I was which made the accusation feel even worse for some unknown reason...

When I got to the meadow, I splayed myself down out on the wet grass thankful that Rose had given me warm clothes to wear. Yanking off the leather bag, I pulled it up toward my head and used it an uncomfortable yet dry pillow. The purse was what Dad and I jokingly called it. It was an old worn out leather bag that was filled with everything that I would ever need if I were lost in the wilderness of Forks. Boxes of water proof matches, butane lighter, compass, emergency radio, first aid kit, knives, iodine, bottled water, packets of dry food. Apparently Dad thought I was going off to fight in Vietnam or something. There was also an untouched pack of cigarettes in the bag. Dad had started smoking as a teenager because it was the cool thing to do, but he didn't quit smoking until he found his eleven-year-old daughter smoking out on the back porch after school. It was easy for me to smoke especially when it helped dealing with my curse. It was definitely gross and dirty, but the process of breathing in and out the smoke was soothing; I didn't feel so anxious and the migraines weren't so frequent. A few other people caught me smoking and that's when I became Bella the Reject. Dad was determined to give up smoking for the both of us. Now he chewed on ice when he's stressed out, and I think it might be bad on his teeth but at least it wasn't cancer. Since then I've become weary of the _cool_ things in life.

I sighed loudly concentrating on my breathing. I wished that I could live in this meadow forever, my little piece of heaven where not even the gods could touch me here. My eyes opened and took in all the different greens around me. The tall grass, ferns, eyes, the moss covered trees and their leaves...EYES? I sat up quickly to see Edward staring blankly at me...

"What are YOU doing here? Did you - did you follow me here?" I asked stammering my words. "Who's the freaking stalker now?"

"I didn't follow you here," he shook his head at me.

"Oh yeah, then how did you end up all the way out here in the middle of the woods?"

"I live here," he stated slowly.

"In the woods?" I scoffed.

"No in the big house on the front of the property," he thumbed behind his shoulder.

"What? You – you live in the Masen house?" I asked murmuring softly as he nodded. I didn't say another word as I grabbed my bag and set off in the direction that I came. Angry tears started falling as I walked back to my house; I was beyond furious. The one thing that had been mine and no one else's was given away to the one person who I couldn't stand.

I couldn't believe that Tilde's daughter didn't tell us that she was selling it or that she could even sell it in the first place. She seemed like she was going to keep it forever. She'd even hired a cleaning crew to come around once a year to check out the house. I had things in that house that I wanted back. Things that I was too scared to go get because Tilde wasn't there anymore. Things I'll never see again...

Damn the gods. I didn't care anymore.

It was Friday again by the time I even acknowledged Edward. I had felt really out of it all week like I was forgetting something, but I had noticed that a lot of things had changed at school starting earlier in the week. The other half of the lunch table filled up quickly, and if it weren't for Rose and Emmett I wouldn't have had a seat there anymore. I almost didn't want it. Jessica apologized sobbingly to Edward about the accident, even though none of it was her fault, and has clung to him like a shadow ever since. Tyler was decent enough to give me a full apology and made sure I was okay. And Ben Cheney also started making small talk with me in English when he noticed me doing my math homework, but I suspected it had more to do with a tall brunette that I happened to volunteer with time to time.

But I tried not to judge Jessica too much, because Jessica Stanley was who I should have been. I mean if I hadn't been given the curse, I would be just like her. Jess and I were best friends we were little right up until her 8th birthday party. It had been a traumatizing event for the both of us, and I'd accepted the fact that she blamed me for it. So I didn't really mind it when she scoffed or glared at me, Lauren Mallory, on the other hand, not so much. I don't think I would have liked her in any other alternate reality either. Lauren was tall, blonde, and pretty, but she was also loud and obnoxious. _Rude and pretentious_ better described her than me.

"This summer my cousin went with her friend to tryout on American Idol, and she totally met Ryan Seacrest," she continued to babble on as I tried to eat my lunch.

"What's _American Idol_?" I asked whispering to Rose. I didn't watch much television so most of the time I was unfamiliar with pop cultural references...

"You know that singing talent show and you can call in to vote for your favorite," Rose told me.

"Oh right, who's Ryan Seacrest?"

"You don't know who Ryan Seacrest is?" Emmett gaped at me causing the rest of the table to look at me.

"No," I said with my cheeks burning.

"God Bella, how ignorant can you be?" Lauren chided me rolling her eyes before continuing to talk Mike's ear off.

"He's just the host," Rose shrugged before giving Emmett a glare.

"Sorry," Emmett murmured apologizing. "I didn't mean - I just have a loud voice."

"Don't worry about it," I smiled at him as he slid down in his seat. I may have been unaware of a lot of things but at least I knew the important things… like that Robert Gates is the US Secretary of Defense and how to change a tire. I tried thinking up more random facts trying to make myself feel better. My eyes flicked down the table and locked with Edward's before he looked away.

In the hall, on the way to biology, I saw Rose and Edward talking and giving each other harsh looks. Rose was probably defending my honor in some twisted way demanding him to be nicer or more civil to me or something. Except that I didn't really care what Edward did any more, not that I ever did, and I'd already given up being friendly and smiley ignoring him completely. Images of slides entered my mind as I entered the room concentrating on Mr. Banner. We were finally starting our labs for the year and Mr. Perfect Edward was my lab partner. But thankfully it was going to be a simple assignment. Mr. Banner barked out instructions as he handed out slides and work sheets for each lab table. Edward wrote his name neatly at the top of the page and slid it toward me as I readied our microscope.

"Metaphase," I told him sliding the microscope to him and scribbling my name under his on the paper. I wanted to erase it as soon as I compared the chicken scratch next to his perfect swirls. I twirled my pencil waiting for him to check my answer.

"Write it down. I believe you," he told me pulling out the next slide.

"Are you sure?" I questioned him watching him carefully. I mean he HAS seen me do my math homework. If I had seen me attempting my math homework, I would have thought I was a moron.

"Yeah I'm sure.... Telophase," he said after adjusting the lens. I wrote down my answer for the first slide but slid the paper to him.

"You might want to write it down," I told him as he gave me a funny look. We finished quickly and answered all of the post-lab questions and sat in awkward silence until Mr. Banner came up to us.

"Ms. Swan, I hope you let Mr. Cullen do some of the work too. This is a group assignment," he scolded me before looking over our worksheet.

"Actually Edward answered half the questions," I told him pointing at my handwriting mumbling something about chicken scratch.

"Alright then," he mumbled moving on to the next group. We settled back into our awkward silence as I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye every few seconds.

"Um," I stammered when he caught me. "I'm sorry about Rosalie."

"What?" he blinked.

"I saw you two earlier and it looked like you were arguing, and I'm just sorry. Whatever she said, I'm sorry. She has good intentions, but I never asked her to bother you," I continued as he knitted his eyes in concentration. "I'll tell her to leave you alone too."

"Um... No you don't have to do that," he shook his head at me. "Everything's fine." I nodded silently and turned back to my side of the table as we sat the last five minutes of class in silence.

In gym, we were still playing basketball but now teams were coed. I didn't even bother dressing out, and I sat myself in my spot on the highest part of the bleachers. Emmett helped me with a couple of math problems, but then he started rambling something about _Imes_.

"Hey Em take my place? I need a breather," Edward asked in an insisting tone and gave him a meaningful look that irritated me more than it should have. Emmett apparently knew what he meant and was off onto the court joining the game. Edward sat down on the row in front of me turning to face me and fumbling with his leather bracelet.

"Bella, I have to tell you that I am sorry for everything. I was a jerk to you and I had no right to do that. It was inexcusable" he said looking me right in the eye.

"You don't have-" I started to shake my head. I honestly didn't care anymore about his apology.

"And I should have thanked you for saving my life," he hurried his words cutting me off. "Thank you… I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you, but I'll try my best."

"I…" I paused wondering if I should tell him the real truth. "You… you shouldn't worry about it," I shook my head. "I didn't save your life."

"No, you did. You knocked me out of the way."

"I may have knocked you out of the way but not on purpose. I mean, I'm glad that you weren't badly hurt or anything, but… I didn't exactly – I don't think I saved you. To _save_ someone, don't you have to have the intent of doing it? I don't know, but it all happened so fast, so all that I remember is being scared and falling on the ground," I finished my rant staring down at my knees.

"So you weren't being heroic when you knocked me out of the way…" he said. "But you still saved me."

"Wait, think of it as payback," I looked back up at him remembering something. "For that first day of gym when you pulled me out of the way of the basketball."

"A basketball isn't the same as a huge van. It wouldn't have killed you," he argued my point.

"It would have slammed right into my face; it would have killed me!" I told him finally looking up at him. He mumbled something as he ran a hand through his messy hair, and I couldn't help but stare at his beautiful hair.

"I don't think we're going to agree on this… do you think we could just start over?" he asked.

"Starting over is a good idea," I nodded as we fell back into that awkward silence. I was waiting for him to get up and leave, but he continued to sit there half turned in his seat watching the game.

"Oh, hello," Edward turned to look at me with fake surprise. "I'm Edward Cullen." He stuck out his hand for me to shake.

"Bella Swan," I hesitated nervous to take his hand. "Nice to meet you." I lightly grabbed his hand and he shook it once quickly letting go.

"So your dad's the police chief," he asked turning slightly to watch the game. "What does your mom do?"

"Oh, my moms dead," I said plainly startled by the question. I was more surprised that he didn't already know about it. Everyone in Forks knew about my family and the Baby Swan scandal of '92.

"Shit, I'm so sorry," he whipped his head to me so fast I thought he might have actually hurt himself.

"No, don't worry, its okay. It happened right after I was born," I told him wanting to change the subject.

"My mom died during childbirth too," he said looking away.

"How are you liking all the rain here in Forks?" I asked after clearing my throat. When he turned back to me, I swear my heart skipped a beat. Edward had this perfect, crooked half-smile on his face and he was aiming it right at me. Scowling Edward was beautiful, but Smiling Edward was gorgeous.

"You're asking me about the weather?"

"Yeah," I mumbled puzzled by his tone... until it clicked. Weather was the mundane topic of small talk when there was nothing to talk about... I couldn't help the blush that appeared realizing my lame people skills.

"I actually like it, a lot," he nodded.

"I wouldn't think you liked the rain," I mumbled.

"Why?" he asked confused. Why? Because perfect people liked being outside in the sun playing with their dogs in the park, all happy and smiley, didn't they?

"Just because you're not used to it," I lied. Fortunately the bell rang, and I jumped up eager to leave. My foot caught my book bag strap, and my body flew forward; unfortunately Edward caught me.

"Wow you fall down a lot," Edward mumbled pulling me up.

"Yeah, sorry," I muttered wiggling out of his grasp.

"Maybe it's an inner ear problem. My dad could probably do a check up or something."

"No don't worry about it; I'm just clumsy," I smiled trying to get myself from laughing. Edward and I finally departed ways at the bottom of the bleachers, and I finally released a chuckle. I did have an _inner ear_ problem just one that didn't involve my cochlea. Walking to the parking lot, I heard Jasper singing a song and I couldn't help but happily hum along.

_Singin sweet songs of melodies pure and true, sayin, this is my message to you-ou-ou… _

_

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_

**AN**: Song lyrics: _Three Little Birds_ by Bob Marley

I know – I know – I know. Short chapter compared to the last two, but honestly those chapters were a fluke… school is kicking my ass already and when I have to pay for my schooling, it's going to come first. I promise 'going to the movies' is in the next chapter. It was supposed to be this one… but um its been like 12 days since my last update, :(

Holy crap, did you know that the word totals from ch 1 + ch 2 = exact total for ch 3… isn't that crazy? No? sorry okay…

!!! Learn about your government! Educate yourself. Okay PSA over… oh wait No Smoking. I've never smoked a cigarette or anything else for that matter… Smoking does lead to cancer and it's quite an expensive habit. Okay PSA now over !!!

Ryan Seacrest is super famous in the US, he hosts American Idol and pretty much everything else, in case you didn't know…

I do love all of y'all. For real – you're awesome!  
THANKS FOR READING!!


	5. Pick Me Up

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

**AN**: You guys did not like the last chapter. Im sorry it was boring; eh, it was transitional. I hardly got any feedback, but I honestly dont mind it too much. Im writing this story no matter what but you dont have to read it. And I'll NEVER demand reviews. I wont read a story usually if the author demands reviews. True Fact. So I don't expect you to review either unless you want to tell me you hate Edward. ;)

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**Pick Me Up  
Chapter 5**

"Watch out for the hammers… Don't get hit by the fire ball… Bowser's about to jump on you."

"Dad! Stop it!" I yelled loudly as I maneuvered my little Luigi through obstacles.

"Hey Bella, come on," Rosalie's voice filled the room. It was customary for her and Jasper to just let them selves in whenever they wanted.

"Hurry up and grab your ipod. We're going to be late," she jingled her keys above me as leaned against the sofa.

"Late for what?" I asked my eyes never leaving the TV screen.

"The movie," she said as my hands dropped the controller and I watched Bowser kill me with a hammer.

"What movie?" I knitted my eyes at her.

"That zombie movie we were going to see last week," she told me.

"Wait, the one in theaters?" Dad asked pressing Start, pausing the game.

"Si Carlitos," she smiled at him.

"Is it okay if I go? I'll come home right away if my head starts to hurt," I said finding myself begging. I had been a little disappointed last week when we didn't go.

"Who's all going to be there?"

"Me, Jasper, Alice Brandon, and some other kids from school," Rose told him. I watched his eyebrow raise and his mustache twitch as he thought it over; my brain itching to open his mind.

"Alright," he nodded unpausing the game.

"Really, I can go?" I asked just to make sure.

"Yep."

"Come on let's go," Rose pulled lightly on my hair.

"Okay okay," I glared at her pulling on my shoes. "What time do I have to be home?" I asked curiously.

"Whenever is fine," he mumbled as his Mario swiftly defeated Bowser, winning the game.

"You just told her she didn't have a curfew," Rose repeated to him as he turned off the game and wrapped up the controllers.

"Yes, shouldn't you be running off before I change my mind?" he smirked.

"Alright come on Bells. I think yall've been playing way too much Nintendo," she laughed heading out the door.

"Bye Dad," I yelled following her as Dad yelled for us to be careful.

"Thanks for taking for-freaking-ever," Jasper grumbled laying down in the backseat.

"Sorry I was playing Nintendo with Dad," I told him as Rose pulled out of my driveway and down our street.

"Duck Hunt?"

"Super Mario Brothers… and he said that I didn't have a curfew, isn't that strange?" I said still puzzled. "Even when we go out sometimes, he tells me to be back before 10:30…"

"It's because you have no life Bells," Jasper replied nonchalantly.

"Say it again moron, I don't think you were harsh enough," Rose scolded him.

"No it's okay. It's jut strange," I continued still confused.

"Maybe he's got a hot date with Sue," Rose suggested.

"Maybe… should I even be going to this? Alice didn't invite me; she never said anything about it at lunch."

"Like I would go without you," she scoffed. "Plus you were invited last week, remember?"

"And Alice texted me an hour ago about going and she was shocked when I told her you didn't have a cell phone," Jasper told me. I didn't have a cell phone because I didn't need one. I didn't need to call anyone ever and Rosalie and Jasper both had one if we were hanging out somewhere like Port Angeles. Plus if I was in Forks, I could probably walk up to any house and ask to borrow their phone.

We arrived at the movie theater in Port Angeles an hour later, and it was much smaller than I remembered, but there were long lines of people standing in front of the building. It was easy enough to tune them out as we made our way to the ticket booth. Jasper bought our tickets as Rose and I stood off to the side waiting for the others to show up. I was anxious, a little nervous and a little excited. I wasn't too sure what to expect; I couldn't remember anything other than blacking out when I was five.

"Rose, do you know what kind of car Edward drives?"

"Yeah, a 1992 Volvo 240," she nodded quickly. "Why?"

"Just wondering… is it a classic car?"

"No," she scoffed laughing. "No it's not, why?"

"I just remember him being really upset about it last week," I said trying to be nonchalant.

"I would be too if it was my car," she shrugged.

"Hey guys," Emmett appeared next to me with a huge smile on his face. "Sorry, we got stuck waiting on Alice," he pointed to where she stood with Jasper in line.

"It's okay; we haven't been waiting long," I told him as Rose shuffled her feet inching closer to me.

"Excuse me," a deep voice startled me. Turning around I found an older guy looking directly at Rose. This wasn't an unusual occurrence – a guy hitting on Rosalie, but the fact that the guy was wearing a leather jumpsuit and had a scruffy beard was a little odd. "Do you have a Band-Aid? Because-"

"Oh, I do," I interrupted him pulling out the one that I carried around in my pocket with my spare cash. Emmett barked out a laugh, and Rose bit her lip.

"Well," the guy cleared his throat. "I fell falling for you."

"I'm sorry; I'm here with my friends," Rose told him nicely and turned away from him, but the guy didn't leave.

"Hey, I can do better; she cut me off! Can I at least get your number?" he begged placing his hand on her shoulder. Before Rose even flinched from his touch, Emmett had already stepped forward and gripped the guy's shoulder hard ripping his hand off her.

"Hey friend, she said she wasn't interested. How about you go find someone your own age and learn a new line while you're at it?" Emmett backed the guy off. The guy tugged away spouting a few words and walked towards the parking lot rubbing his shoulder.

"What's going on?" Alice asked as she and Jasper finally joined us.

"Oh some guy kept trying to bum a smoke off us; he wouldn't go away," Emmett lied. Confused and a little embarrassed, I exchanged glances with Rose who just shrugged at me. He'd done it to keep the attention off of her, so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable... It seems to be that Emmett is an anomaly like Jasper... just not mine.

"Alright come on; the movie's about to start," Alice said smiling brightly as Jasper held the door open for her.

"Let me get Ed real quick," Emmett disappeared into the large group of people. My eyes followed his large form in the crowd and they easily spotted the head of beautiful hair. Edward stood next to Lauren near a group of kids from school and gave Emmett a helpless look when he noticed him. I looked away quickly when his green eyes met mine, and Rose nudged me to go inside.

I stood in awe in front of the large colorful menu board. They had everything you could ever want and more... Popcorn, candy, nachos, pretzels, ice cream, hotdogs.

"Hotdogs? They have hot dogs?" I asked amazed.

"Yeah do you want one?" Rose asked laughing at me.

"No I'm okay… holy crow! Do you get the large popcorn? I bet you do," I pointed at the model popcorn bags. Rosalie Hale could eat popcorn like no other person on this Earth. I asked Jasper once if it was normal to eat that much quantity at that rate and his answer was a definite no. Also sharing was impossible; I swear she growled at me once for trying to take a handful from her bowl. After Rose bought her medium sized popcorn, we waited in another line for a guy to rip our ticket stubs.

"Hello," the smooth voice sounded from behind me. I didn't need to turn around or see Rose's surprised expression to know who it was. I basically had his voice memorized in my head.

"Hi," I said turning around to face Edward.

"How was your day?" he asked as we moved forward slowly.

"Since I saw you five hours ago? Good. I played some Nintendo with my dad," I tried making conversation.

"Oh you have a Wii?" he asked curiously.

"Um no… we still have the original Nintendo," I blushed. Besides the flat screen on our living room wall, my ipod, and my laptop, we were very technologically-handicapped.

"Oh really? Do you have the zappers too?" he asked forming a gun gesture with one hand. I was surprised he even knew that they were. Jasper still called them "orange guns" even though Dad corrected him every time.

"Yeah my dad treats them like crown jewels," I joked earning a crooked smile from him.

"Because they are," he agreed laughing.

"Hey, line's moving," Rose tugged on my hood ending my conversation with Edward.

As soon as the guy handed back my ticket, Rose pulled me into another line, and I was surprised that to see that Edward wasn't behind me anymore.

"Your boyfriend already went in the theater," she said.

"Who?" I asked confused.

"And since when have you been so friendly with him?"

"Oh are you talking about Edward?" I looked up at her.

"Who else would I be talking about? Did he even apologize to you for everything?"

"Yes, he did after you scared the crap out of him. Are you sure you want to take your popcorn in here?" I asked her realizing we were in line for the restroom.

"Wait what do you mean I scared him?" she asked pulling us out of line.

"I saw you guys talking in the hall earlier right after lunch. You know he probably thinks that I asked you to yell at him or something," I covered my face with my hands. It was so aggravating not knowing what he was thinking.

"Is that what he told you? That I verbally attacked him?" she asked appalled.

"No, he didn't have to," I told her.

"Oh no ma'am," she snapped. "Bella, he was the one that to came to me."

"What?"

"He was asking if you were okay. I mean you've been like an empty shell of yourself all week. It's understandable since you told me about your meadow and the Masen house, but still... and today when he asked me what he should do to fix it, I told him to be nice and apologize and then leave you the hell alone. Obviously, he didn't listen to the last part," Rose finished her rant as I mentally started my own.

Now I was even more confused. Why hadn't he told me this earlier? Why was he being so friendly, and why hasn't he left me alone like Rose suggested? I wouldn't have minded if he didn't want to be friends... much.

"Come on, the movie's starting," Rose walked down the hall where Emmett and Edward stood. From the way that Edward shrank back, I could tell that Rose had glared at him as he opened the door for us.

It was pitch black except for the giant screen of light, and I had to clutch onto Rose's arm as we stumbled toward the front. Emmett passed us and walked up some stairs pointing to where Jasper and Alice had saved us seats. Rose plopped down next to Jasper, and I found myself in my seat leaning awkwardly towards her and away from Edward.

Thirty minutes later, my back and neck were stiff, and my head was buzzing. I tried to concentrating on the screen, but the movie was just nonsense. A virus attacking the whole planet turning everyone into zombies except for a handful of people who had special powers? Yeah right. One guy could fly, another could predict the future, and there was one that could even read minds. I found it totally unrealistic and ridiculous. I think I laughed a couple of times.

Suddenly Alice was standing in front of me trying to scoot by mumbling something about the bathroom. Going to the restroom was a great idea. I needed the excuse to get away from movie and to stretch. I decided as soon as Alice got back I was going to go.

_No no don't go in there..._

_That's so fake. Their special effects suck balls...  
_  
_Oh my... I can't believe she's doing..._

Ew! Ew! Gross. I did not need that. I did not need _this_. I was getting of there. People can do the strangest things when no one was watching. Unfortunately I was usually hearing it.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I whispered to Rose so she wouldn't worry. Even though I wasn't probably going to come back in here, I didn't want to ruin it for everyone. I carefully moved across Edward not wanting to bump into him, but somehow I landed in Emmett's lap. He helped me up quickly and I finally managed to get out of there and into the hallway. I found a bench and sat myself down. Objective: Bella going to the movies equaled failure… I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes trying to relax.

_Efff my life! When will this movie end?! _

_Little Alice Brandon sure has filled out nicely…  
_

My eyes flew open as I turned looking for Alice. The hallways were mostly empty, but I could see a tall, creepy guy leaning against the wall in a small, dark corner. I wouldn't have noticed Alice if it weren't for the small pair of metallic silver shoes that she liked to wear. Part of me got angry thinking how Alice could be off in a dark corner when she was practically on a date with Jasper, and the other part of me realized that Alice didn't hide in dark corners. Unfortunately I knew from the guy perspective that Alice loved PDA anywhere and everywhere.

"Hey Alice," I yelled, my feet moving on their own accord toward them.

"Bella?!" Her voice squeaked.

"Alice is busy. Come back later," Creeper called waving me off. He hadn't even turned around to look at me.

"Alright," I said in a pitchy tone. Turning on my heel, I hurried back into the dark theater. If Creeper hadn't been so large, I would have tried to do _something._ I basically tore through my row stepping on people's toes and kicking their shins. "Jasper!" I called causing ten people to shush me at once. I apologized to the people I trampled over before as Jasper followed me out into the hall. "Creeper's got Alice cornered," I panted to him.

"What?" he asked confused, but as we turned the corner I didn't need to repeat anything. Jasper took in the scene and acted quickly. "Excuse me, sir?" he asked in an authoritative tone pacing towards them. Creeper backed off fast holding his hands out revealing a very small Alice. Before he realized what was happening, Jasper punched Creeper knocking him into the wall.

"What the hell?" he shouted sounding nasally cupping his bloody nose.

"Ever touch her like that or even come near her again, I'll end you," Jasper threatened as a real security guard approached us.

We got kicked out. The police wasn't involved, but we weren't allowed to return to the theater ever again. Though I would have liked to see Dad's face when he picked me up from the Port Angeles police station; I could guarantee there would be curfew from then on. I wonder if they would have even charged me or whatever if they knew I was Charlie Swan's daughter… probably not.

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god!" Alice screeched as we sat outside on the curb.

"Are you alright Alice?" Jasper asked her as he squeezed her in his arms.

"Are you kidding me?! Are you alright? You just punched someone for me! You gave Matt Flenderson bloody nose! Oh is your hand alright?" she babbled as I tuned them out.

Matt Flenderson… I knew he looked familiar; he'd graduated from Forks High two years ago. I remembered he had a few … interesting thoughts, and I learned many things from him during my freshman year. Things that made me never want to see an apple pie ever again. But Alice always hung out with the older kids; even as a freshman she dated a few sophomores and last year she dated a senior. It was probably why she was hanging out with us now. All her friends had graduated and gone off to college or at least gotten out of Forks. But I hope for Jasper's sake that she really likes him; because I know how he feels and I doubt that she could ever feel that way about him.

"There you guys are! Why are you even out here?" Rose called from behind us with Edward and Emmett following her. "There's still thirty minutes left in the movie!"

"Jasper got us kicked out," I muttered rubbing my forehead.

"What?! What did you do?! What – what the hell happened to your hand?!" she yelled startled by the sight of his knuckles.

"Jasper kicked Matt Flenderson's ass!" Alice piped up retelling her story.

A pale hand appeared in front of my face clutching something for me to take. The hand dropped two extra strength aspirin in my open hand, and I eagerly swallowed them.

"You know you probably shouldn't be taking drugs from strangers," a velvet chuckle filled the air around me.

"Thanks, but you're not a stranger. We're... friends. Right?" I said finally turning to look up at him.

"Yeah were friends," he gave me that same half-smile and held out his hand to pull me up. This time I reveled in the silence when I took it.

"I mean I don't even know how Bella saw me or even to look for me, but she did!" Alice's voice squealed as we returned to our group.

"Hey it's only 8:30. You guys want to come back to our house for a little while?" Emmett suggested as everyone started to agree... except for Rose and me.

"Bella has a 10 o'clock curfew," Rose lied.

"Yeah my dad's kind of strict," I tried.

"Well, you'll have ten minutes to at least meet my parents. My mom really wants to meet my friends," he said with a pleading look.

"Yeah and I'm sure my dad could call your dad so you don't get into trouble if you're late," Edward told me reassuringly.

_Please please Bella, pretty please?... _Emmett continued to beg.

"Alright," I surrendered. I didn't put up a big fight because it seemed like it was going to happen eventually. Me going into Tilde's house...

An hour later, Rose and I sat parked in her car in the Cullen's driveway. It looked almost the same as it did ten years ago... though it was dark out. I suppose anything would look the same in the dark after ten years.

"We don't have to go in... I could just drive away," she said.

"I know. Let's just get it over with," I groaned getting out of her car.

"We should go get some ice cream after this," Rose tried to cheer me up. "You know, a little pick me up?"

"Sure," I nodded. My dad was a psychic. He didn't give me a curfew because he'd foreseen this whole situation and knew I'd be home before 10:30.

"Hey guys, come on in," Emmett greeted us before we even reached the porch.

"Thanks for inviting us," Rosalie mumbled showing off her Southern manners as we walked into the house.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up, and chills ran up and down my body. There was some new pieces of furniture and picture frames, but it was almost exactly the same as it had been ten years prior. Same blue oriental rug. Same mahogany coffee tables. Same green vase that had been broken and glued back together a thousand times. EVEN some of the pictures - including family portraits - were the same in the hallway leading to the kitchen. Maybe the Cullens thought they were pretty or antique. Maybe they were just leaving them up on the wall until they bought something new to replace them. Whatever it was… the Cullens were fucked up.

My eyes found Edward immediately leaning against the counter next to Dr. Cullen. I had to add Leaning and Crossing his Arms Edward to the list. Alice was nursing Jasper at the kitchen table with a bag of ice and light kisses.

"Dad this is Rosalie Hale and-" Emmett started.

"Bella Swan," Dr. Cullen smiled at us kindly.

"Hello Dr. Cullen," Rose smiled brightly and stuck out her small hand as I backed up against the wall.

"My mom was taking a shower; she'll be down in a minute," Emmett said as I zoned out.

The kitchen was worse than the living room. Same table. Same aloe plant by the sink. I wondered if the cabinets and drawers were organized the same way too. I did feel better when I saw the same notches in the door frame across the room. They ranged from three to four and half feet from the floor marked with the date and my initials _IMS_ by every single one. The appliances were new except for the mint green kitchen-aid mixer on the counter. That was still the same. Something _too_ familiar caught my eye on the refrigerator. Finger paintings. _My finger paintings. _Ones that I painted with Tilde on stormy days. They were haphazardly hung one on top of the other with magnets. I didn't understand why they were there and not in a box in the attic or even in the garbage. I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked with a worried expression. Add Worried Edward to the list.

"No," I shook my head.

"I think I should take her home now."

I was out the door and into the night rain in no time. The fresh air seemed to help, but thinking about what just happened and everything I saw made my stomach turn over.

"Bells?"

The furniture. The photos. The finger paintings. The house.

"Oh Bella…"

I was dry heaving in the bushes, unsure of how I got there, but thankful for the darkness. It seemed like I was crouched down there forever; but when I finally stopped I felt a hand on my back moving in soothing circles, and I realized I was crying.

"Forget strawberry… we're going to need the double fudge brownie," Rose smiled sadly.

* * *

**AN**: Wow… I have no idea what I just did. I don't even know where half of this chapter came from, but you should know guys that we are now the USS Enterprise moving on into the great unknown because I don't have anything planned anymore… I should get on that.

Also don't worry about Alice. Nothing really happened to her. Creeper just got too close with intentions...

Charlie is NOT psychic. He just has super powers just like all parents do… don't freak out about it.

I once played Bowser in a video for my AP Lit class… it was quite good esp. the special effects. Luigi died and we had to burn his body. He was killed by one of those hammer turtles.

Google: NES  
Original Nintendo! Oh boy. I wish we hadn't gotten rid of ours, but we still play on our Super Nintendo.

Sorry for all the nonsense aka Author Notes. I have all these things to say and no one to tell! ... except you guys.

THANKS FOR READING!!


	6. My Beautiful Nightmare

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

**AN: **Happy SNOW Day to all of my Southern (US) readers! It's so exciting! and for up there in the North, try to stay warm i guess. I cant even imagine that much snow.

* * *

**My Beautiful Nightmare  
Chapter 6**

I was running so fast – too fast, but I kept running, scared from something horrifying behind me. The trees were beginning to blur together creating a wooded curtain around me. I somehow hadn't hit any trees yet; it seemed like they were moving on their own out of my way. My legs were sore and my lungs were on fire, but my head was clear and light and not heavy with thoughts. Finally I came to a halt toppling over in the high grass landing next to someone sleeping. I recognized the area as my meadow but it was filled with hundreds of flowers like it had years ago when Tilde tended to it. When I looked up at the sky, it wasn't the usual cloudy gray. It was white with the sun shining so bright that I couldn't even see the blue. The figure next to me stirred and leaned over me blocking the sun from my view. My eyes squinted adjusting to the darkness and focused on the person's face. Perfect cheekbones. Perfect jaw. Perfect nose. Perfect white teeth. Perfect green eyes.

I jolted awake in my bed panting heavily wincing from the daylight coming through the window. Burning up, I threw the covers off of me only to discover that my body was drenched in sweat. I stumbled into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face at the sink looking in the mirror at my appearance, red puffy eyes and flushed skin. I instantly felt better as I stepped in the shower – at least my body did.

My head still felt heavy as I tried to comprehend everything. It had only been a bad dream. Or was it a nightmare? What constituted a nightmare? Horror? Death? Monsters? I had been running from something, yet it didn't explain the Edward part… Edward, himself, was a confusing subject. Why was he being so friendly now when just days ago he was being harsh and aggravating? What were his motives? Did he even have motives or was I just making things too complicated? All of this would have been easier if I could just read him.

My stomach growled painfully reminding me that I hadn't eaten anything since lunchtime yesterday. Last night Rose dropped me off dragging me up the stairs and helping me into my bed. I didn't even remember if Dad had been home or not. I pulled the knob to turn the water off, but somehow I yanked it off the wall, the water turning cold. I jumped out of the shower and ducked back under the cold spray to jam the knob back on. Failing miserably, I wrapped myself in a large, yellow towel and left the bathroom leaving the water running.

"Dad!" I coughed clearing my groggy voice. "The knob came off; I can't get it back on," I said walking down the stairs dripping water everywhere.

"I'll ruin you. Trust me, I know how." Dad's voice sounded from the kitchen.

"Da-" I froze tightening my grip on the towel.

In the living room, Dad wasn't alone. My teeth chattered as I stood on the bottom stair staring at Emmett and Edward. Emmett was talking to Dad, but Edward noticed me gaping with wide eyes and his mouth parted open. I stood still pretending that standing in just a towel wasn't a big deal. If I pretended that I was fully dressed then… I would still be half-naked in front of beautiful people. Panicking I tossed the knob at Edward and hurried back up the stairs locking my door. I was wearing at least three layers when I came out of my room again, Dad standing by the bathroom shuffling his feet.

"Sorry, I forgot to warn you about the shower knob. I need to fix it this weekend," he told me.

"What are they doing here?" I asked ignoring the shower knob.

"Checking up on you; they were worried," he said wrinkling his nose as his earlier words registered.

"What did you say? What did you tell them?" I whispered harshly. "Edward doesn't know about anything."

"You mean the big one didn't tell him?"

"No, the big one, Emmett, promised he wouldn't tell a soul. YOU, on the other hand, probably just did!" I covered my face aggravated. Edward couldn't know anything. He'd… he would… do something that I wouldn't like. I didn't know what he would do. Tell everyone? Call me a freak? Hold it over me? Use it for blackmail?

"It'll be okay. I didn't say too much… I think," he tried to reassure me.

I found Edward and Emmett muttering to each other in harsh whispers in the kitchen, and I kicked myself for not thinking of it sooner to use my curse to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Hi," I mumbled staring down at the floor silencing them.

"We brought you soup," Emmett spouted trying to fill the awkward silence.

"Thanks," I nodded. "Please tell your parents I'm sorry for my rude behavior." Even if they were psychos, I didn't want the Cullens to think that Charlie Swan raised a rude kid. I might not have cared what people thought of me, but I sure gave a damn about what they thought about my father.

"No, they understand," Emmett said. _He doesn't know, but he suspects something…_

"Thanks for coming over anyway and for the soup," I said finally looking up at them. Emmett stared at me with wide eyes, and compared to my dream, Edward looked at me differently, watching me carefully with a curious expression that really irritated me.

"No problem, we should get going though," Emmett suggested shuffling his feet toward the living room.

"Yeah okay," I nodded leading them to the front door.

"See you on Monday," Emmett waved walking down the porch steps.

"Bye Bella," Edward mumbled following behind him.

"Bye, thanks again," I mocked with fake enthusiasm closing the door.

"Well everything seemed okay," Dad said making his way for his chair.

"For now," I grumbled.

I had no clue to what Edward was thinking; I'd have to deal with that issue Monday morning, though Edward was still my main problem. Looking up "nightmare" in the dictionary, I found several definitions.

_nightmare (nahyt-mair)_

_- noun_

_1. a terrifying dream in which the dreamer experiences feelings of helplessness, extreme anxiety, sorrow, etc._

_2. a condition, thought, or experience suggestive of a nightmare_

_3. a monster or evil spirit believed to oppress persons during sleep_

It seemed that my bad dream was considered to be a nightmare, yet I wondered if Dream Edward could be counted as a monster or evil spirit. I hadn't felt oppressed or terrorized during that part of the dream, but if he did then Dream Edward was a beautiful nightmare.

I didn't see the real Edward again until Monday. I sat alone in my usual seat at lunch gulfing down my homemade sandwich. Mr. Varner had let us out early so he could grade quizzes in "peace" meaning he was still hung over from last night.

I sat with my headphones in people watching as the room started to fill up. Jasper and Alice walked in with his arm resting on her shoulders. The gossip about the disaster Friday night spread like wildfire, and Jaz and Alice were officially together even though they weren't. I didn't understand the "official" concept. They liked each other but they weren't officially exclusive yet even though neither of them showed signs of liking anyone else… It was confusing, but every other guy knew to back off Alice Brandon or they'll get decked by Jasper Hale.

"Argh!" Rose slammed her tray down on the lunch table startling me and the other students around her. She glared at them as she sat down giving them whiplash.

"Wow, having an awesome day?"

"Mrs. Chea gave me a B on my oral quiz because I didn't roll my R's. I can't roll my R's. It's physically impossible for my tongue to do that," she whined pulling apart her bread roll.

"You should get Emmett to tutor you; I'm sure he can help with the tongue thing," I said taking the last bite of my sandwich. I felt a sharp jab in my ribs causing me to choke struggling to swallow my last bit of bread.

"Bella!" she whispered harshly giving me a wide-eyed, panicked look. She glanced around us, and only Edward was close and quiet enough to hear our conversation. He was sitting in a seat closer to me now that Alice moved to sit on the other side of Jasper and Jessica moved next to Edward.

"I meant the Spanish. He's fluent you know. He's really nice, and I'm sure he'd be willing to help. It'd be a nice break from my math homework," I joked softly trying to put Emmett in a good light. I knew Emmett was a good guy; it was just his adopted mother who was creepy for using all of Tilde's stuff. I guess they'd bought everything that came with the house to making the process of moving easier.

"Where is Emmett anyway?"

"I don't know maybe he's in the bathroom," Alice suggested.

Rose raised an eyebrow at me and I just shook my head. I was not checking to see if he was if the restroom. I did not need to see anything remotely related to being naked though I'd already seen enough of too many guys. I could definitely count myself as a whore from the number of dicks I've seen...

Emmett didn't show up for lunch and Edward never spoke a word, not even to Jessica or Eric who seemed to be always chattering in his ear. The bell rang for fifth period and we all departed for our own separate classes.

_Bella! Can you hear me? Bella! I need your help! Bella! I'm in the restroom, the science hall one. Bella!_ … Emmett's voice rang loudly and continuously through my head.

I stopped, trying to make sense of his words. When I deciphered them, I made my way down the hall passed Mr. Banner's room and slipped into the boys' restroom with one eye open hoping I wasn't walking in on something gross.

"Bella?" Emmett's voice sounded weak. "Is that you?"

"Emmett? Are you okay?" I hurried into the restroom to find him leaning against the sink. His eyes were red and puffy and his curly hair was sticking up every which way.

"Ow… no! There's something in my eye; I can't get it out," he whined squinting at me.

"How long have you been in here?" I asked him setting my books down on the sink. The bell rang signaling that now I was late for bio.

"I don't know. I've been calling you forever though," he cried.

"I'm sorry I'm not a genie. Here let me look at it," I sighed as he turned swaying on his feet.

"Thank you so much Bella. Thank you," he breathed.

"Don't thank me yet. Stop moving, you're too tall," I groaned planting my palms against his cheeks bringing his face down to mine.

"Whoa," he mumbled leaning forward, his hands settling on my waist trying to keep balance.

"Emmett," I scolded him giggling. "Stop that tickles."

"Sorry, you're the one yanking on me," he muttered easing his grip.

"Just let me blow it out," I told him prying his left eye open and gently blew on his eye. After a couple of tries, I spotted a tiny dark spec in the corner of his eye. I jabbed my finger in his eye hoping to wipe it away.

"Shit shit shit! …Oh thank you Bella!" Emmett moaned loudly.

"Feeling better?" I asked worming out of his hands.

"Yessss," he sighed resting his eyes closed.

"Come on; I'll get you a pass," I laughed grabbing my books.

"No, just leave me here. I think I'll just take a nap here on the floor," he said leaning against the wall.

"Oh no, I can't let you do that," I grimaced. "Wait til gym, okay?"

"Okay," he grumbled grabbing his books and wrapped an arm around my neck. "You're a great friend Bella."

"Glad to be of service," I joked pulling open the door and almost bumping into someone.

"Edward?" Emmett sounded beside me. I whipped my head around to see Edward leaning against the wall with his foot propped up behind him. He didn't say a word or give us a glance as he pushed off against the wall and entered the restroom completely ignoring us.

"That was weird," I managed out confused by his attitude.

"Yeah… Bella, do me a favor? Stay out of my head for a while?" Emmett asked staring at the door.

"Yeah okay," I nodded as we continued our way to the front office.

Edward didn't come back to bio until after the bell rang and he gave Mr. Banner whispered excuses about an upset stomach. I tried to give him a friendly smile as he packed up his things but he continued to ignore me. Gym was even worse because he didn't even acknowledge Emmett.

"I think I might know what's wrong with him," Emmett said lying down on the bench in front of me.

"Well what is it?"

"It has nothing to do with you. It's all me. Don't worry about it," he shrugged.

"Then why is he ignoring me?" I asked unsure of his answer.

"Because when Edward gets mad, he bottles it all up inside and likes to let it out later."

"But-"

"No more questions," he cut me off. "I'm taking a nap. Wake me when the bell rings please."

"Sweet dreams," I scoffed. My eyes drifted off to find Edward running back and forth across the gym floor.

"Or a beautiful nightmare," Emmett sang, his words startling me.

"What did you just say?" I asked him. My heart bounced in my chest as my hands shook nervously. I hadn't ever told anyone about my nightmares… I hadn't been thinking aloud, had I?

"You know the Beyonce song?" he said before singing, "You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare; either way I don't wanna wake up from you…"

"No, I've never heard it before," I breathed, my body relaxing. "Go to sleep; I'll wake you."

For the rest of the period as I watched Edward, I wondered if this Beyonce guy had ever seen Edward before or maybe dreamt of him. I'd have to look up the song later… But Edward's behavior made me nervous. What if he knew something? Had he forced the information out of Emmett and now he was …scared? of me? We had been friends on Friday, yet not two days later, we're back in the same boat that we started in. Maybe he was bipolar? It would explain the weird mood swings. Or maybe he had schizophrenia; it would explain so much – the mood swings and why I couldn't read him. There were already too many people in his head.

When I got home I spent all afternoon on the computer looking up mental disorders. Turned out that I was a more likely candidate for Schizophrenia, but bipolar disorder and recurrent brief depression were still possibilities. And nothing explained the "silence". That in itself was an anomaly- a phenomenon, maybe. Remembering what Emmett had said, I typed _beautiful nightmare _in the search bar. I reviewed over the results nervously; it felt like I was doing something that I would get in trouble for – like looking at porn. Note to self: Beyonce was not a guy…

I quickly skimmed over the words cringing. It was a love song…

"Bells?" Dad's voice startled me. I had been caught.

"Yeah Dad?" I clicked out of the screen minimizing it. Dad stood in the doorway shuffling his feet.

"Phone for you."

"Me? Who is it?"

"I don't know. A boy," he shrugged handing me the phone.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone as Dad slowly dragged his feet out of my room.

"Hey Bella, this is Emmett."

"Oh hi." I sounded disappointed. I didn't know who I was expecting…

"Well don't sound too excited," he joked. "Yeah, so I confronted Edward, and we worked everything out… sort of."

"Oh that's good."

"Yeah well he went out to clear his head, but that was a few hours ago... And he still hasn't come back yet, so I was hoping you might know where he is. Jasper said that you knew the trails near my house really well… and honestly I'm afraid of the dark, I don't want to go out there," he rushed his words.

"Oh, okay," I smiled at his frankness. "I might actually know where he is."

"Really? Thanks so much! I'm sorry I keep bothering you with all my stuff."

"No no, it's no problem," I shook my head. "Emmett? You still there?" I asked when the line went silent.

"That answers that question."

"What?"

"You can't read my mind over the phone."

"Goodbye Emmett," I sighed loudly hanging up.

"That was quick," Dad mumbled as I walked passed him.

"Yeah, I have to go do something. Will you take out the lasagna when the timer goes off?" I asked him shrugging on my jacket and rain boots.

"Uh-huh, where are you going?"

"I'm just going to help Emmett with something. It shouldn't take me long," I told him, not telling the whole truth.

"Okay be careful," he told me as I grabbed the purse and headed out the back door.

The walk for me was a little eerie and awkward. I hadn't visited the meadow in… only a week, but knowing I couldn't go there made it feel like it had been forever. Part of me hoped that Edward wouldn't be there, that he was at the park or sitting in the diner or maybe reading at the library. But then the other hoped that he wasn't lost in the woods or something... because that would be a pain in the ass especially in the dark.

When I got to the edge of the clearing, I could see him lying in the middle of the high grass in my usual spot with his arms were crossed behind his head. I cleared my throat walking closer, but he didn't move an inch. When I was standing beside him, I could see the small ipod tucked in his jacket pocket and his white earphones that almost glowed in the darkness. I debated on how to wake him. A swift kick in the ribs was my first idea, but not even I was that cruel… even though he had been a jerk today. I knelt down beside him and finally, really looked at him. Sleeping Edward was definitely a sleeping beauty. I smiled at my joke, but it was wiped off as soon as I realized how Princess Aurora was woken up. I would NOT be kissing Edward in any way for any reason. I grabbed his elbow and shook him awake. He flinched back and gave me a long look blinking his eyes.

"Am I still dreaming?" he asked his voice still thick with sleep.

"You know, falling asleep out here is not the greatest idea," I told him ignoring his strange question.

"What time is it?" he asked sitting up.

"After seven… you know Emmett's really worried."

"You and Emmett sure seem friendly," he said nonchalantly resting his arms on his knees.

"Yeah well Emmett's a nice guy… too nice I think," I mumbled.

"Is that why you told him your secret?"

"What secret?" I half-heartedly tried being casual.

"The big secret that your father would make someone disappear to cover up?"

"He exaggerates."

"So there is a secret?"

"Everyone's got a secret. I'm sure you've got a few," I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, would you like to know them? Unless Emmett's already told you…"

"No, Emmett only tells me things about himself… and I didn't tell him. He figured it out on his own," I shook my head still embarrassed that I let someone know about my curse.

"Oh, so if I guess, will you tell me if I'm right?" he asked hopeful.

"Sure," I lied.

"Okay um, were you - uh...wait, never mind," he shook his head rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, you can ask me anything. I just won't answer if I don't want to." I'd take anything to get into his head, even if it's just a glimpse.

"Were you born a guy?" he looked back up at me with a serious expression.

"What?"

"Were you born with a penis?" he smirked.

"No," I blushed.

"Can I ask you something serious?"

"Yeah," I nodded, my stomach felt light and full at the same time. He thought for a moment before shaking his head.

"Uh never mind, he mumbled.

"No tell me." I had the urge to stomp my foot.

"Why did you ask me if I was born a girl?

"I told you, Turrets," I looked away.

"No you don't. You're lying, and also you don't have any kind of tic," he shook his head. "Unless you count biting your lip..."

"Um," I stammered releasing my lip from my teeth. "Nervous habit."

"Do I make you nervous?"

"Your questions make me nervous," I told him standing up.

"So it has to deal with your secret then?"

"You know Emmett's probably going out of his mind right now. I think it's time to head home," I said shuffling my feet. I wanted to run away wishing he wouldn't think about it anymore, but his presence kept me rooted.

"I'll take that as a yes," he smiled.

"Here, it really is late," I held out my hand to help him up. It was the first time I was offering him to touch me.

"Sorry you had to come all the way out here," he apologized taking my hand.

"No problem, maybe I'll be able to fall asleep earlier tonight." I pulled my hand away reluctant. The "silence" hadn't made a difference, but the contact was ... nice.

"Are you having trouble sleeping?"

"Sometimes," I nodded. When I dreamed of you...

"You know... You can still come here whenever. I mean if you needed to get away; no one would mind."

"Alright... Good night," I told him turning away from him. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to come back to this place. It never really belonged to me anyway…

"Sweet dreams," he waved watching me walk down the path to my house.

Or a beautiful nightmare... I smiled inwardly.

* * *

**AN**: I've been gone for two weeks and all I had was this lousy chapter?! i know im terribly sorry about that. School really kicked my rear end and I discovered a new love... Xbox Live. yeah i know, but my brother got me this year subscription thing and its kind of exciting. the other day i talked to these Australian guys, but they were a little mean because I totally suck at modern warfare 2, and also these French girls tried talking to me but I couldnt understand them. I dont know a word of French! but honestly i dont play much.

Song lyrics: _Beautiful Nightmare_ - Beyonce  
This was a total accident. When I was rereading what I had written so far, I saw the words "beautiful nightmare" and i just had to put it in there. :)

We're going to La Push next chapter - so be excited for that...

*Tilde is Matilda Masen - a woman who took care of Bella when she was little and they were very close. she passed away when Bella was around 8ish and the Cullens moved in her house.

THANKS FOR READING!!


	7. I Suck at Math

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

* * *

**I Suck at Math  
Chapter 7**

It was Friday again before I knew it. Everyday I had waited for Quiet and Grouchy Edward to return, but I hadn't seen him. Instead Edward's been really... nosey. At first he'd asked questions about my curse like "Will I die in the ten years?" which I hope I didn't, but now he has moved on to questions like "What's my favorite color?".

Making my way to the cafeteria, I noticed a delightful scent around me. Woodsy-cinnamon. Edward appeared next to me with a thoughtful expression; no doubt calculating his next question.

"Have you ever been pregnant?"

"What? No!" I felt like my eyes were going to fall out, they were opened so wide. That was not a "What's my favorite color?" question.

Why did he ask that question? The question had so many hidden objectives. Did he maybe think that Emmett's adoption and possibly me-giving-up-a-baby was related at all? Did I look I like a kind of a girl who's had a baby? Or a girl that even has sex? I can't even see me, Bella Swan, having sex, but unfortunately I've experienced it. It's weird and awkward and uncomfortable, at least from what I've seen. But it's not like I was going to have sex any time soon. It's not like the boys (and a few girls) aren't lining up outside my bedroom door. Even if I wasn't the Crazy Bella Swan, guys would still be afraid to come near me because one: my father is the Chief of Police and two: _I_ was the result of the Baby Swan Scandal. If it could happen to my parents, it was going to happen to me.

Still, most kids my age have already had sex especially the beautiful ones. It's like a mathematical proof. If you're a beautiful person, then you're going to have a lot of sex. Edward must have had loads of sex back in Chicago. He's too beautiful to not have been offered. I know the girls of Forks have been working on it, trying to gain his attention. So far I haven't heard who he's been sexing up with, but it'll come out eventually.

When we got to lunch, I pulled out a small bag of cookies. Today was Mrs. Cope's birthday, and as usual, I made her favorite– pumpkin cookies with raisins. I made an extra batch for me with walnuts because it wasn't everyday that someone wanted the pumpkin cookies.

"What are you eating?!" Jessica asked in a disgusted tone. I looked up to see everyone staring at me.

"A cookie?" I held one up.

"It looks like a pile of orange shit," she frowned.

"Are those pumpkin cookies?" Emmett looked at me with wide eyes. "Raisins?"

"Walnuts?" Edward asked hopeful.

"Walnuts," I nodded offering them one as their hands shot out at me.

"Mmmmm," Edward moaned. "Ffank fou. Soff gooffd."

"Yeah thanks so much; they taste better than Mom's," Emmett chewed spitting out tiny crumbs.

I watched them too stunned to say anything. The recipe had been Tilde's that I'd gotten from an old cook book. I'd never met anyone else who made them, let alone liked them. Rosalie and Jasper wouldn't even try them.

"Hey guys, guess who just got us invited to a senior party," Lauren squealed sitting down at the lunch table, waking me out of my trance.

"Who?" Jasper looked at her blankly.

"Ugh," she rolled her eyes at him. "James said that they're having a party at First Beach and they want a bunch of people to come so the Wolves can't kick them out."

"Wolves?" Emmett looked her with wide eyes. "You have to scare off wolves on the beach?"

"No it's just a group of La Push kids, but Wolves is like a gang name," Jessica explained as she leaned onto Edwards arm. I gave him a weary smile when Edward glanced at me, turning back to my lunch.

"Oh man, I haven't been to First Beach since last year when that Mark-guy roofied his own drink and puked everywhere," Alice grimaced.

"Yeah that's kinda why they don't want us going down there," Jessica started. "If we'd just clean up after ourselves, we wouldn't have a problem."

"Fine then. You can stay after everyone leaves and pick up all the trash. That is if you're not too drunk," Eric smiled smugly at her.

"Hey I clean up after myself," she defended herself.

I tuned them out not listening to their perfect banter. La Push had been a second home for me especially after Tilde died. I had friends there who made me forget everything – almost everything. Not the curse. It's why I had to leave them behind when I was fourteen, and it's why I only see them on special occasions - the last being Dad's birthday.

"So are you going tonight?" Edward asked me as we walked to Mr. Banner's room.

"Where?" I looked at him confused.

"The party at First Beach?"

"Oh no, I don't usually go there."

"Is there something wrong with that beach?"

"No."

"There ARE wolves there, aren't there?" he grinned, his eyes light.

"No, it's just I try to stay away from La Push altogether," I shook my head as we sat down in our seats.

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Ah… another clue to add to the list," he mumbled jotting down something on a piece of paper.

"What list?" I asked trying to peek at what he'd written.

"The list of clues to your secret."

"You won't give up, will you?"

"No," he smiled crookedly at me.

"I wish you would," I murmured to him as Mr. Banner started the lesson.

In gym, Coach Clapp made us sit on the bleachers as he talked about the fitness test we were taking next week. He even made the point of glancing at me when he said that everyone had to participate. By the time he was done, we only had ten minutes left of class.

"Hey Bella, why aren't you coming tonight?" Emmett asked me right away.

"Why did you get him involved?" I glared at Edward who looked up at me innocently.

"I don't know what you mean."

"I'm not going and I'm not talking about it," I huffed ignoring everyone until I got into Rosalie's car.

"Hey, you wanna go to Aro's later?" Rose asked pulling out of her space.

"Sure. Is Jaz coming?"

"Nah, he's with Alice."

"Oh…" I muttered. I hadn't seen Jasper that much lately, but I guess that's what normal people do when they start dating someone new.

After dinner we headed to Aro's, which was basically our community center in Forks. It was actually called Aaron's Gym, but half the painted letters on the sign were faded leaving A R O. Dad used to take me there when I was little on rainy days or Sundays when he didn't have to work. One of my favorite memories was when Dad woke me up in the middle of the night and took me to Aro's to teach me how to ride my bike. Nowadays Rose, Jaz, and I take it upon ourselves to renovate it between games of ping pong and pool.

My eyes flicked up from my lap to the old building… and watched as we drove by it.

"Rose, you missed the turn," I said watching it disappear behind us.

"Did I?"

"Wait, where are we going?"

She stayed silent as we turned onto the highway that led us out of Forks to –

"La Push?! We're going to the Rez? Why are we going?" I asked appalled. "You of all people understand why I do NOT want to go there!"

"Come on, we both need a little social interaction," she told me.

"Oh and who on Earth are we socially interacting with?"

"People," she mumbled. Looking at her closely, I realized that she was wearing more makeup and her hair was wavier than usual.

"You look really pretty," I told her sincerely. I hoped it was for Emmett.

"Thanks," she bit her lip. She parked along the road careful of the others cars and we sat in silence after she turned off the ignition.

"Rose, there's something I never told you," I started, thinking of Emmett. "Emmett sort of found out about the curse."

"I know."

"You know?" I whipped my head at her. She traced over her steering wheel with her car keys with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"One day he called and asked me if he could come over to talk to me about you for a few minutes. I wouldn't have agreed if he hadn't mentioned your _curse._"

"What did you talk about?"

"He wanted to know if there's something he should be doing to make things easier on you."

"He wanted advice on being my friend? I'm not that much of a handful, am I?"

"No you're a pain in the ass," she smirked.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked meekly, staring down at my lap.

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because Emmett knows…"

"No… he said you were kind of embarrassed about it."

"He said that?" I looked up at her.

"Yeah," she nodded as we both fell silent.

"So Emmett, huh?" I smiled smugly at her.

"Shut up," she blushed smacking my arm.

It wasn't hard to find the party. There were two large bonfires with coolers and kegs in between them, crowds of people sporadically standing around. We steered clear of the alcohol and found places to sit at the farther bonfire with familiar faces. Eric and Mike were already halfway drunk, and Jessica was walking around with a trash bag. In high school, I've discovered that beautiful people plus alcohol equaled popular kids. I jammed my earphones in trying to block out everything. We didn't do drugs or alcohol; we were part of that mythical 2% that didn't partake in it. This was why we didn't come to these things. The buzz that guys had gave me migraines, and when they've had too much they try to hit on Rose. Also I was afraid that they would actually help me; I didn't want to take the chance to become an addict.

A woodsy-cinnamon scent pulled me out of my trance, and I found Edward behind me shaking his head at Mike who was giving him a red cup. He turned away from him and smiled at me as I pulled out my earphones.

"Hey I thought you weren't coming?"

"I thought I wasn't either," I muttered.

"I don't understand why you don't like it here... well except maybe the company," he grimaced at the large crowd of people around the beer kegs.

"I actually used to come down here all the time when I was little especially in the summers before Rose and Jaz moved to Forks," I told him as he sat down next to me.

"Uh… do you want this?" he asked holding out his cup.

"No, you don't drink?" This wasn't fitting into my equation. He was probably the designated driver.

"No," he glanced behind me. I looked behind my shoulder and saw Emmett, Rose, Jaz, and Alice laughing at a dancing Tyler.

"Oh, you don't drink because of Emmett?" I asked surprised.

"He told you about that too?" he said in a soft voice referring to Emmett's past.

"He showed me," I nodded as he tipped his cup, pouring out the beer.

"So why don't you come here anymore?" he asked changing the subject.

"My friends imprinted on me," I grimaced.

"You know, I have no idea what you mean," Edward tilted his head at me confused.

"How do I explain this right without sounding so…pretentious?" I said raising an eyebrow at him. "You know when a baby duck is born it becomes attached the first thing they see?"

"Yeah."

"So usually it imprints on its mother."

"Okay…"

"Okay, so you remember that first girl you fantasized about all the time when you hit puberty? You probably still do sometimes?" I asked weakly.

"Hell yes, Annie Finch-Kitchens," Emmett appeared next to me.

"Emmett – what – are you," Edward stuttered at him.

"Well I was basically the only girl hanging out around them at the time so they sort of imprinted on me… in a sexual sense."

"So you're saying their dicks are baby ducks?" Emmett asked making us laugh and easing the awkward tension.

Rose, Jaz, and Alice joined us and I fell silent, listening to their stories. More people gathered around us, and Edward was shoved up against me by Jessica. She was giggling hysterically falling into his side as he tried deciphering her words. Twenty minutes later my head was starting to pound and I was planning a way to steal Rose's keys so I could take a nap in her car.

"Oh hot shit, look at those hotties," Lauren gaped at something behind my shoulder. I glanced behind me noticing the large group of boys standing by a smaller fire. They definitely were boys from the Rez. Tanned skin. At least 6 feet tall. Broad shoulders. Dark hair. And I also knew them.

"They look a little old Lauren," Alice commented.

"Yeah they gotta be at least... twenty-three," Jessica agreed.

"Oh please, I bet I can at least get one phone number," Lauren smirked pulling up her skirt two more inches as she stood up.

"Oh my god," Alice groaned as we watched Lauren strutted awkwardly toward them. Someone in the group noticed her walking over and he even did a double take, his mouth open.

"Looks like she's getting his number," Mike snorted.

"Holy crow! Bella Swan, is that you?!" Embry Cal's voice startled everyone on the shore. I waved feebly embarrassed as everyone looked my way. Familiar faces pushed passed Lauren, and suddenly I was being mauled by the wolves.

"Bella Swan?! At a party that she wasn't forced to come to?"

"Oh no I was still forced," I muttered lowly to them.

I was passed around as they teased me and I tried taking them all in. Embry the loud mouth, Quil the _smart_ one, Jared the joker, Paul the mute, and Jake the sweetheart. And even little Seth who wasn't so little anymore.

"What did I say about those steroids?" I joked feeling Jared's arm.

"Please Bella, you know we are au naturale," he said holding out his arms, flexing them.

"How's Pretty Boy?" Embry asked playing with a piece of my hair.

"Pretty Boy is just fine thanks," Jasper jumped up from his seat next to Alice and shook hands with Jake. I turned to see the rest of the group staring at us with stunned expressions.

"Where's Blondie?" Quil looked around me. "Oh hello there," he waved winking at Rosalie who gave him the bird. "She still wants me."

"Right, uh, guys these are my friends from school - Alice, Emmett, Edward, Jessica, Lauren, Mike, Ben, Eric, Tyler and you already know Jasper and Rosalie." I pointed out everyone.

"No that's too many people Bella," Jared whispered loudly. "You don't have that many friends, which ones are you're real friends?"

"Shut it," I blushed as they looked them up and down. "And this is Embry, Quil, Seth, Paul, and Jake..."

"These are your baby ducks?" Emmett laughed coming to stand next to me.

"Ducks, Bella?" Jake narrowed his eyes at me. "Really? You know we're wolves, or do I need to remind our little vampire?"

"No, oh no, we're not doing that." I backed away from them tripping on the log behind me. I felt hands on my butt steadying me, and I blushed when I looked down at Edward. I sat back down as the two groups intermingled.

_Damn Bella is looking…_

_I wish I could hit that…_

_Does he still like her? … _

I glanced at Paul who was staring longingly at Jacob and ignoring Seth's chatter. He winced when he looked at me, and his eyes flicked away quickly. He was heartbroken … but not over me. Jake had been using me as a cover to hide his secrets from himself and everyone else. And everyone else thought Paul was just quiet and shy; they hadn't really considered that he might be gay.

"Are you okay?" Edward's velvet whisper sounded in my ear.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I mumbled turning back to the group.

Emmett was trying to teach Rosalie and a few other people how to roll their tongues. Rose blushed as Jasper teased her about sounding like Chewbacca, and Emmett was being cute by encouraging her. Alice squealed as Jasper pulled her into his lap and purred into her ear. She made a few attempts sputtering until she rolled her R's. Rose pouted as Emmett high-fived her.

"Nice!"

"Thank you! I have a very talented tongue which Jaz can tell you," Alice giggled loudly.

"Yeah and half the guys of Forks," I scoffed. It would have seemed almost funny if I had said it in a lighter tone, but I hadn't… Alice popped up from Jasper's lap with tears in her eyes and disappeared into the large crowd behind her.

"What the hell is your problem? You don't even know her," Jasper turned to me with an angry expression.

"I sure as hell know a lot of stuff that I don't want to know about. I know what guys think about her."

"Yeah and they think with their dicks. They don't know her. I think you're just jealous," he shook his head at me.

"I am. I know I won't be able to ever have what you can, but Jasper, when you fall for someone, you fall hard. You're just too loyal, and I don't trust Alice enough to do the same."

"Bella it's not your job to trust her. It's to trust me," he said getting up to find Alice. _I love you Bells. You're my best friend… _

"Try Emmett's jeep," I told him as he nodded getting up to follow her through the crowds.

I stayed in my turned position away from Edward; I had just insulted his own cousin and I didn't want to see that disappointed look on his face. Fortunately, only the three of them heard me, so I hadn't insulted Alice in front of everyone. Honestly, I did feel bad for saying it and I regretted it. Teen snobbery is part of the problem in today's society and I added fuel to the fire, but I still didn't trust her. I hesitantly looked back at Edward and found him staring at me.

"Hey Bells!" Jake sat down next to me as Quil sat next to Edward.

"Jake," I warned him. I didn't need any more heartbroken looks from Paul.

"You're Edward, right?" He leaned over to look at Edward. I sat rigid feeling really uncomfortable sitting between them as they talked. _He's really pretty… _

"Could I talk to you for a minute Jacob?" I gave him a glare before getting up.

"Sure sure," he followed me.

"What are you doing?!"

"Following you."

"Why don't you just tell him?" I asked referring to Paul.

"Tell who what?"

"You know who I'm talking about."

"Bella, you don't understand. I – I can't loose him. What if hates me and tells everyone I'm a freak?" His voice was low as he bowed his head.

Now I regretted never telling Jake about my curse. Dad told his dad, Billy, about it when I was little, but for some reason they never told Jake. I'd almost told him once when Jake had told me he was gay and that I kinda had to force out of him since he'd already, unintentionally told me through his thoughts.

"But you'll never know, if you don't try," I encouraged.

"I'll think about it," he mumbled.

We turned back to the bonfire where Quil was talking Edward's ear off.

"Be friends with Bella, she makes cookies for your birthday. And it's like magic! She always makes what I want and I don't even have to ask. It's like she's reading my mind!" Quil jabbered loudly. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett and Rosalie whip their heads at us and hurried over.

"Quil, why don't you show us how many push ups you can do in a minute? Emmett doesn't believe me that you can do 100," Rose suggested to him. Jake and Emmett stood up to follow her.

"Anything for you Blondie!" he jumped up from his seat leaving Edward and me alone.

"I'm sorry I said that about Alice; I'd understand if you didn't want to be my friend anymore," I hurried my words staring down at the sand.

"I wouldn't end our friendship over something stupid like that," he said so softly that I had to look up at him. "And I don't really blame you for saying it."

"But she's your cousin! Shouldn't you be mad at me?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Alice isn't my real cousin; we're not related at all. Actually the first time I met Alice, she kissed both me and Emmett," he joked. "Plus we don't even really know the same girl. The Alice I know is cute and shy, and the girl you know is… just not," he shook his head. "She's one of those popular kids who Emmett and I always hated back in Chicago, and we tease her all the time for it."

"Oh…" I mumbled. It was the only thing I could say. What did he mean that he and Emmett hated popular kids? Were they not popular back in Chicago? Because they definitely were in Forks... It seemed impossible – they were beautiful, smart, and funny. How could they not be? Edward never seemed to be what I expected; he'd never fit any of my equations.

I really sucked at math, both academically and socially.

* * *

**AN**: Arg, really short chapter. Sorry about that. It's my least favorite chapter. : (

Oh and I'm so so so sorry about the other day. I'd posted a small AN about something non-important that didn't effect me or this story, but then I took it down right away so I think maybe 8 people saw it in total. Don't worry about it.

Fact: I can't roll my R's and I think it's impossible for me to learn.

I really hurried this chapter so much because I felt bad about the fake update – so probably many errors.

Next chapter is a big reveal– I think… except that it won't be a big deal because I think everyone is expecting it. So we'll see. : )

THANKS FOR READING!!


	8. I'm Cool?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

* * *

**I'm Cool?  
Chapter 8**

I rocked on my heels nervously waiting outside on the Brandon's front porch. Friday night, Jasper returned to the bonfire alone with red eyes and a blank expression. We'd left soon after that and Jaz remained in that quiet state reciting random facts ever since.

_Like that minus 40 degrees Celsius is exactly the same as minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit… _

_And the country with the most post offices is India with over 152,000, compared with just over 38,000 in the United States…_

It was seriously depressing to see him mope around… especially since it was I who caused it. So that's why I was standing out here late Sunday night shivering my toes off.

"Oh hello Bella?" Mrs. Brandon greeted me surprised as she opened the door.

"Hi Mrs. Brandon, I'm sorry it's late, but may I speak to Alice for just a moment?" I asked politely.

"Of course, go on up, she's sulking in her room," she pulled open her door smiling. I stumbled up the stairs and easily found Alice's room. She had one of those girly decorative, dry erase boards hanging on her door, and on it was scribbled _I think I'm drowning – asphyxiated…_

"What!" Alice's moan sounded through the door after I knocked. "Mom I don't want to talk about it," she groaned when I opened her door sticking my head in.

I wasn't sure what I expected Alice's room to be like, but this wasn't it. White walls. Creamy carpets. Chocolate colored bed sheets on a big bed. Posters of famous paintings. A large mirror above the dresser. And a small bulletin board over her desk covered in photos. It was really calm and soothing for someone so... energetic and popular.

"Um, is it okay if I come in?" I asked uncomfortably seeing Alice bundled up in a pile of blankets on her bed. She was sniffling with a box of tissues next her and a copy of _Sense_ _and Sensibility_ in her hands.

"You?!" Alice squeaked sitting up. "What are you doing here?!"

"I'm sorry," I winced shutting the door behind me. I really should have rehearsed before coming over here.

"You're sorry? Sorry?! I'm the one who's sorry!" she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm sorry that I can't help being flirty. I'm sorry that I believe in true love, so I go on lots of dates. How else am I supposed to find my soul mate? I've only kissed eight guys; that's not half of Forks," she grumbled.

"Don't break up with Jasper," I interrupted her rant.

"What?" she looked at me confused.

"I'm sorry for what I said, I shouldn't have said it. But don't let me get in the way of a good thing because Jasper is a really good thing," I told her staring down at her photos on the bulletin board. I noticed many of them were of three small children. A chubby boy with a head full of curls, a toothy Alice, and a pointy faced boy with bright red hair. It didn't hit me right away, but I realized it was Emmett and Edward when I saw Alice kissing the pointy faced boy on the cheek as he grimaced.

"He broke up with me," she whimpered so softly I almost didn't catch it.

"What? Why?" I looked up at her.

"I got mad and said some things… _what does Bella Swan know? She's just rejected loser; she can't even get a date_," she shook her head. "I'm sorry I said those things, but I was just so mad that you practically called me a whore and … I was jealous. He always talks about you - Bella this and Bella one time – I felt like I was competing with you. And when I was done ranting, he said that none of what you said mattered, kissed me, and then said we were over."

"Oh Jasper," I groaned suppressing the urge to smack someone. "Alice, I'm sorry I didn't know. From the way he's been acting… I thought you… How can you be jealous of me? You're perfect."

"I'm hardly perfect. I can point out a million things wrong with me like my hair. It's so thin I have to keep it short, and you have such nice long wavy hair. And I guess I'm not the nicest person in the world which is why Jasper broke up with me." She picked up another tissue and wiped her nose.

"One thing you have to understand about Jasper is that he is a fierce protector of his family. And I have… secrets that no one can ever find out about. He's just too loyal; he'll do anything to protect a friend. I mean you saw him at the theater when he punched that guy."

"Yeah, but I really thing I messed things up. I don't know if he'll take me back," she cried.

"Alice… Jasper really likes you. He may talk about me all the time, but trust me, he thinks about you all the time. He's been mooning over you for months, and now I'm going to kill him for doing this. He'll take you back, I promise," I told her as her face brightened.

"Really?" she asked hopeful.

"Really," I nodded as she jumped up from her spot on the bed and hugged me.

"Thanks for coming over," she whispered. "I see why Jasper talks about you so much."

"How about we just start over?" I asked her as she released me. "We'll just put all this behind us and forget it." The same idea had worked with Edward and we were now … sort of friends every other day.

"Sounds like a good idea… do you maybe want to go shopping sometime next week?" she asked plucking used tissues from the floor.

"Uh sure," I grimaced.

I walked home at a fast pace thinking over what Alice had said. I couldn't believe what Jasper did ending his, barely there, relationship with Alice just because she'd said some things about me. Never mind, I could because that's how Jasper is. Always choosing others instead of himself. I need to remind him that he needs to come first with a swift kick to the shin… and a big bag of oatmeal raisin cookies.

"You're an idiot," I mumbled tossing a bag of cookies at Jasper as I fell into the backseat. I'd stayed up late baking cookies, so now I was tired and my head hurt.

"What?" he turned to look at me.

"You're an idiot. Rose, did you know _he_ broke up with Alice?"

"What?!" she yelled, her foot on the brakes jolting me forward in my seat. "You moped around all weekend!"

"I don't want to talk about it," he mumbled turning up the radio.

When we got to school, Alice was waiting, bouncing on her toes, by her yellow bug. She hurried over to Jasper, and Rose and I watched as they exchanged words. Jasper whipped his head to me and looked back down at Alice nodding a little. A few minutes later, Jasper opened the bag of cookies offering one to her and slugged his arm around her as they walked into the school.

"Well that was stupid," Rose muttered.

"Yeah, he did it for me, you know?"

"Why?" she raised an eyebrow.

"She was mad and called me a loser, and he broke it off."

"Of course he did," she shook her head. "How do you even know this?"

"I went to her house last night."

"Of course you did," she roller her eyes, smirking at me.

"Hey Rosalie." Emmett appeared next to us with a goofy smile on his face. "Oh before I forget Bella, Edward's home sick today and I was wondering if you could tell me whatever he missed later."

"Yeah sure, is he okay?" I asked chewing on my lip.

"Yeah, he'll be fine; it's just a bug. This morning I found him passed out in the bathtub with his pillow. Apparently he'd been awake all night throwing up. It wasn't pretty."

"I'm sure he feels better now," Rose started a light conversation with him. I zoned out following them into the building.

By fourth period I was ready to go home. I couldn't get any of my math problems right, Mrs. Chea gave us a pop quiz which I hadn't studied for, and everyone had been staring at me. Apparently my friendly relationship with "the Wolves" was too shocking for the normal kids to believe.

I was late for lunch because I dropped my books while I was at my locker, and Lauren kicked my math book down the hall away from me. I mean who does that? Rose told me one time that Lauren had seen too many mean girls, but I didn't really understand what she meant. By the time, I got my tray and made my way over to the table it was completely packed except for my seat covered with Rose and Emmett's books. Even tables around it were filled with other kids who usually sat somewhere else in the cafeteria. I spotted Angela sitting with her younger brother Connor and decided to join them.

"Hey Bella, how are you?" she smiled warmly at me.

"Good, is it okay if I sit here?" I asked shuffling my feet by her table.

"Yeah, it'd be cooler to sit with someone else besides my sister," Connor joked as I sat down.

"What? I get you like ten cool points for just being you're sister," Angela scoffed at him.

"Yeah, well Bella probably gives me at least fifteen," he laughed as she pinched his elbow. I admired their close relationship wanting a younger sibling. The boys from the Rez were pretty close, but those relationships changed when they hit thirteen and discovered my girly parts...

"Ben!" I startled him as he walked passed us. "Sit with us," I said kicking the chair across from me out from under the table. I glanced at Angela and Connor to make sure it was okay.

"Yeah join us Ben," he smiled cheekily at Angela knowing about her small crush. "I need all the cool points I can get." Ben looked over at his usual table to see that Eric and Tyler had ditched him for mine.

"Alright," he smiled at Angela. "What are cool points?" As Connor explained the freshman game to him, I felt two more chairs pull out beside me. Rosalie and Jasper gave me small apologetic smiles.

"What about Alice?" I asked Jasper glancing at our old table as Emmett joined us.

"What about you?" he shrugged continuing his lunch. I gaped at him frustrated. He didn't need to mess up his relationship with Alice; he'd already proven that he was a good friend way too many times.

"No twins are worth extra even if one of them is a dude." Connor was having a spaz attack as Ben and Angela were helping him calculate his cool points.

"Any more room?" Alice asked standing by our table looking for room. I started to move my chair over to make space, but Jasper pulled her down onto his lap. She blushed a light pink when he whispered in her ear.

Connor was ridiculously happy as we left lunch waving a sheet of paper to the other freshmen that he had over 400 cool points, and I couldn't help but smile at Ben and Angela as we made our way to biology.

Lunch had been the best part of my day. Biology, we had an incredibly long lab that I barely finished, and I had to finish the post lab questions for homework. In gym, we had to run laps because half the class decided to skip instead of taking the fitness test. Which usually I didn't mind running, but I had to take off my hoodie and I didn't like sharing my fruits with everyone staring.

When I got home, I didn't realize what I was doing until I was done. I stood in front of the stove staring down at a large saucepan of chicken soup. It was what I always did when someone got sick – for Dad, Jaz, Rose, the Goldsteins, everyone, and Edward was my friend… as far as I knew. It had become a common routine. Friendly for a few days and then one day of hatred. Repeat. Hopefully today was the day of hatred and I missed out on it.

I walked the back trail to the Cullens bypassing the meadow and carefully avoiding overgrown roots on the old path up to the house with the Tupperware that Edward and Emmett brought me, full of my chicken soup. I hesitated on the front porch not wanting to go inside. The last time I had been here I ended up puking in the bushes, and this time I had to face Mrs. Cullen. I wondered if she even knew how to make a decent bowl of chicken soup or at least know how to use a can opener. I mean she couldn't even decorate her own house; she had to use Tilde's old furniture…

Yeah that shit still bothered me.

The opening of the front door startled me as Emmett came out with a cell phone stuck to his ear not noticing me, "Hm-hhmm, yeah… Thanks I'll… Sure no… Oh!" He jumped back pulling the phone away from his ear when he turned. "Shit Bella, you scared me!"

"Sorry, I brought soup." I held out the container to give him, hoping I could do a hit and run and that I wouldn't have to actually go inside.

"Oh thanks that's perfect. My mom just left to get some groceries and Edward's awake," he leaned over and opened the door for me. "You can go in and I'll be in a minute."

I thanked the nice god, staring down at the hardwood floor making my way to the kitchen. At least I wouldn't have to meet Mrs. Cullen. Not today and hopefully not ever. I easily found the old utensil drawer and wondered if Edward liked using a spoon or a fork. I'd always just assumed that everybody used a spoon, but Rose and Jaz both used a fork. It must have been a strange Hale family habit.

"Fuck! Dammit!" A loud, croaky voice came from the living room with the sound of glass breaking. I peeked in the living room and found a distressed Edward. He stood staring down at the green ceramic pieces on the floor muttering something incomprehensible. Even Sick Edward was beautiful. His nose was pink and his hair stacked in ever direction, and he wore a navy blue robe with his thick glasses. He was still even wearing that leather bracelet...

"Edward?"

"Bella?" he said in a loud voice, looking up at me.

"I brought soup. You know, to return the favor." I nodded to the container in my hands walking towards him.

"I just broke this," he continued loudly. He continued staring down at the broken vase pulling at his hair.

"It's okay I'll fix it. Here, you eat this," I told him softly like I was talking to a child.

I handed him the soup as he sat down on the sofa. I had to bite the inside of my cheek when he looked at the fork for a long moment before setting it down on the coffee table and started spooning carrots. Turning back to the ceramic pieces, I found the bottle of glue in its same place, and started gluing it back together. The vase was Tilde's and had actually been broken so many times that it only broke into a few pieces. I wondered briefly about not even fixing it and letting them think that I tossed the pieces away.

"Sorry about that. Jessica Stanley is worse than Alice on the phone. I'd start to say goodbye and she'd basically start the conversation all over," Emmett grumbled coming back into the house.

"Why were you on the phone with Jessica?"

"Because she was asking about Edward," he said coming into the room.

"If I could murder a nose, I would kill my nose right off my face," Edward chewed thoughtfully.

"Oh… Bella you don't have to fix that. I can do it," Emmett tried shooing me away from mess on the floor.

"No, it's okay. I don't mind…. How you feeling Edward?" I looked at him as he sip from the bowl.

"I feel like I need Chapstick for it, it's so raw and chapped. Do you think they would make shit like that? The Chapstick for the nose?" Edward looked at us.

"I think that might be Vaseline," Emmett suggested lightly to him.

"And my throat is all scratchy and I can't breathe through my nose, so I have to breathe through my mouth and it just irritates it more. The Chapstick for the nose people can also make Draino for the throat. Or is there already something like that?"

"No, I don't think so. Maybe you can write a letter," I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing as I finished gluing the last piece. Sick Edward was very… adorable.

"I think I'm suffocating. I'm dying. Feel my forehead Bella." Edward reached for my hand and placed it against his head. "Oooh, you feel so cool," he nuzzled into my hand.

"He's been like this all day," Emmett shook his head as I pulled away. "It's driving Mom crazy."

"It's so hot in here, but then it gets so fucking cold," he groaned yanking off his robe so now he was just sitting there naked in his underwear. Emmett nearly fell over laughing and I looked away quickly. But I had to leave the room to keep myself from staring at his hard stomach and the light hairs that trickled south... I didn't need to ask; I _knew_ that both Cullen boys worked out... and very frequently.

"Okay, he put his robe back on, but I'd appreciate it if you pretended that never happened. He might die of mortification if he remembers that he stripped in front of you." Emmett chuckled rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, no problem," I tried hiding my face. "I'm going to use your restroom real quick." I duck down the hall as he followed me.

"It's the third door-" he started as I pulled open the narrow door. Anyone else would have mistaken it as a closet.

"Oh okay," he looked surprised before turning on his heel.

I splashed my face with cold water to wipe away the redness in my cheeks; the image of Edward sitting in a pair of black boxer briefs still burned into my eyelids. After I patted dry my face, I looked around the small bathroom. Like the rest of the house it was still the same as it had been ten years ago. Flowery wall paper with the same dark green accents. Even the same photograph of a giant Ferris wheel hung on the opposite wall of the mirror.

I heard a new voice as I walked down the hall. Emmett was chatting away with a woman in the other room. No doubt it was Mrs. Cullen, perfect mother and housewife.

"Why is there glue on his face?"

"Who knows?" Emmett lied.

"So where is this Bella?"

"Oh she's in the bathroom. You know she found it on the first try? I still keep opening the basement door when I gotta go," Emmett laughed.

"I know, I think we should hang a sign or something for you boys," she laughed and I felt goose bumps appear up my arm. It sounded so familiar, it was eerie.

"Hey Bella, come meet my mom!" Emmett appeared in the hallway in front of me and pulled me into the living room. The woman was beautiful and slender with caramel colored hair. Definitely perfect and also shockingly familiar.

"Mom this Bella Swan, and Bella this is my-"

"Esme?" I squinted my eyes at her confused. What was Esme Masen doing here? She sold the house to the Cullens. She sold it...

"You know my mom?" he looked at me before turning toward Esme. "You told me that you wanted to meet her..."

"Hi Bella," she smiled at me. "I wasn't sure if you would- oomph!" I cut her off with a strong hug. She hadn't sold the house. She wasn't a traitor!

"I'm sorry," I whispered trying my best not to cry. I was just so relieved.

"Oh for what to do you have to be sorry about?"

"I may have thought about some bad things about you when I thought you had sold the house. I was just so angry," I murmured as she squeezed me tighter.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't sure if you'd remember me or if you wanted to see me," she apologized pulling away to look at me. "I called Charlie, but he said you'd never talk about her, so I tried to get one of the boys to bring you over after they mentioned you."

"What the Imes is going on?" Emmett asked confused.

"Tilde, Esme's mother used to babysit me when I was younger," I explained as Esme scoffed.

"Please, Bella was part of the family. She treated you like a granddaughter," she grinned. "You and Charlie should come over Sunday for dinner. Hopefully Edward will be feeling better by then," she said glancing back at him. He'd disrobed again, and I had to keep averting my eyes away from him. Four Eyes Edward in his underwear should be illegal. It probably was in some counties.

"So Bella's like my sister," Emmett knitted his eyes at us confused. "That's cool... Hey Edward did you hear that? Bella's our sister!" He smiled cheekily at him.

"Shut it," Edward grumbled mumbling something under his breath. And there he was - Grouchy Edward... apparently today was the day of hatred.

* * *

AN: Raise your hand if you didn't see that coming. Oh, no one? Okay… that was the big reveal… told you it wasn't much.

Sorry this one's short too… and I don't like it much either – less than the last one. It all seems very… forced. Urg.

I think my guy friends did the cool points thing sometime in sophomore year. They didn't actually keep track of them or had rules but they were always subtracting or adding.

Fact: I wrote the snippet of Edward being sick way back in December when I had a cold. Pretty much everything he said were my exact words… which is kind of embarrassing. : )

Next chapter is Bella's birthday…

THANKS FOR READING!!


	9. Happy Birthday to Me

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter... Oh and I don't own Hallmark either.

* * *

**Happy Birthday to Me  
Chapter 9**

I woke up smiling. I was happy… so happy that I was one of those clichés. Or maybe all of them. Happy as a clam. Happy as a lark. Happy as a hippo. No hippos were hungry… but I was still over the moon, on cloud nine, and even tickled pink. I hadn't realized how stressed out I had been over the Masen house, but knowing that Esme was Mrs. Cullen, everything seemed better and easier. I didn't have to worry about the Cullens being one of those creepy psycho families and all of Tilde's things were safe and appreciated.

Dad had already left for work by the time I got downstairs. After I got home last night, I tried to be mad with him for not telling me about Esme, but I couldn't even wipe the smile off my face to yell at him. I quickly made some toast and joined Rose and Jaz in the car.

"Hey there, someone looks cheery this morning," Jasper nodded from the driver's seat.

"Do you think she's still giddy from yesterday or maybe for once she's excited about her birthday?" Rose turned to him. I looked down at my lap scowling. I had forgotten it was my birthday. It's not something that we really like to think about in my house…

"I wonder what-"

"No! No, we are not discussing it anymore with anyone. In fact, you can ignore me for the rest of the day," I told them, annoyed. They remained quiet after that and even until we got out of the car.

"Hey guys," Emmett appeared next to us and I watched as Jasper and Rosalie led him away from me.

"Hey," Edward sounded behind me. He looked better than yesterday though his nose was still pink.

"Hi, feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks for the soup."

"Oh, you're welcome. I wasn't sure if you'd remember I was there; you were kinda out of it." I wondered if he'd remember the stripping…

"I remember the soup. So… you've known Esme for years?" he asked as we started walking to the building.

"Yeah, her mother used to take care of me when I was little. It's why I know about the meadow."

"The meadow? That's what you call it?"

"Yeah that's what Matilda called it; it was her favorite place," I told him clearing my throat as the warning bell rang.

"Alright, see you at lunch?" Edward asked with a smile.

"Yeah," I said as he turned away. I watched him as he walked down the hall, Jessica joining him, her hand on his arm.

I spent the rest of my morning doodling in my notebook, trying to tune out everything. My ipod had died because I had forgotten to charge it, and I was ready to kick Mike Newton in the shin for his pervy thoughts.

"Bella!" Connor stopped me in the hall with a sneaky smile on his face. "Don't sit with Angela today."

I nodded in return understanding his plan to leave Angela and Ben alone together. I got to the cafeteria later than usual and everyone was already seated at our usual table. Angela and Ben were alone at a table smiling and not noticing that no one else was sitting with them. I sat down next to Rose, and she completely ignored me, continuing to eat her chicken sandwich. Our side of the table stayed silent until Emmett got paranoid and panicked.

"Okay why are you being so quiet? Is something happening?" he whispered looking around him.

"Emmett when's you're birthday?" Rose asked him with a roll of her eyes in my direction as I tried to kick her under the table.

"October 4th...when's your birthday?" he asked unsure, looking at us with knitted eyes.

"January 11th..." Rose answered.

"Oh... and yours Bella?"

"September 13th," I muttered covering my face in my hands.

_September? Isn't today the .... Twelve- Oh Thirteenth... _"Oh happ-" he started.

I slapped my hand over his mouth and shushed him. "No don't!" Other kids around us turned our way, and I blushed pulling back my hand. Edward and Rose busted out laughing and I shrunk in my seat embarrassed. "Thank you, but I don't celebrate that holiday," I told them mumbling through my hands.

"Wait you don't do anything?" Edward asked me surprised.

"Nope, no party, no presents, and no cake," Rose shook her head.

"No cake?" Emmett gaped. "I at least get to miss a day of school because Edward has a summer birthday. He doesn't go, so I don't have to either."

"Nothing?" Edward shook head in disbelief.

"Well the cake thing is actually Jasper's fault," Rose told them.

"Hey," Jasper caught attention of our conversation. "Sugar is powder! I didn't know there was difference between powdered sugar and _granulated_ sugar. My bad…"

"I don't really care about my birthday," I told them.

"Come on," Edward stood up abruptly and walked around the table to me.

"Hey, what-" I tried to object as he grabbed my elbow and pulled me out of my seat. I looked to the others for help but they just stared at us with wide eyes and cheeky smirks as we left the cafeteria. "Where are we going?"

"We're skipping the rest of the day."

"We can't… we have that fitness test in gym. We can't miss it, and you've already missed a day of school," I told trying to get out of leaving.

"Right, so what are we doing in Bio today?" He stopped, looking at me waiting for a good excuse.

"Watching a video…"

"Look really sick," he said continuing our way down the hall.

"What?"

"Pretend to be sick."

"But you're the one who's actually sick," I said as he pulled me into the office. Mrs. Cope greeted us with a bright smile and I sat myself in a chair unsure what Edward was doing.

"Mrs. Cope?" Edward asked with a sickly sweet voice.

"Yes dear?"

"Bella isn't feeling well today and I was wondering if I could take her home so she wouldn't have to walk in the rain," he smiled at her. Mrs. Cope glanced at me giving me an unsure look, raising her eyebrow.

"Oh couldn't I just call her father to come pick her up," she said in a sweet tone, mocking him. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

"Oh but he's not in Forks right now. You know, official business."

"Alright dear, just sign out right here." She handed him a clipboard and rolled her eyes at me. Edward quickly signed our names on the clipboard and turned to me with an excited smile.

"Come on," he whispered.

"Oh Bella wait," Mrs. Cope called. "Happy birthday, I still have that pumpkin recipe whenever you want it."

"Thanks Peggy, I still haven't gotten enough pie courage," I shook my head at her, using her first name to rub it in Edward's face.

"Alright, but I have plenty of other recipes for you when you do."

"Okay, and oh we'll actually be back for sixth period," I told her as she waved me off.

"What was that?!" Edward turned to me as soon as the door shut behind us.

"I didn't want to interrupt. You were doing so well," I mocked him.

"You're on a first name basis with her!" he looked at me appalled.

"It is a small town Edward… and she used to baby sit me when I was little."

"I can't believe you let me do that. I'm so embarrassed," he shook his head leading us outside to his car.

"I tried to stop you… oh, I can't ride with you - my dad's rule. I'm not allowed to ride with anyone besides Rose and Jaz until I'm eighteen," I said staring at his shiny car.

"Oh okay… so where do you want to go?" he asked running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know. You're the one who wanted to skip." I wanted to yell at him for dragging us out into the rain.

"And it's _your_ birthday," he argued smirking at me.

"Come on, we can go to my house," I sighed starting for my house in silence.

"What did you mean when you said you didn't have pie courage?" he asked looking at me with such attention that I had to look away from him.

"Mrs. Cope loves pies, but I don't know how to bake one; no one's ever shown me how to. I'm sure it's not that difficult, but I mostly just do cookies and cakes."

"I know how..."

"To make a pie? Really?" I looked at him surprised. I couldn't see him wearing an apron or working in a kitchen.

"Maybe I'll show you some time," he suggested as I nodded knowing I wouldn't take his offer. Edward still intimidated me and I didn't think I could stand to be around him without making a fool out of myself for too long… unless I hadn't done so already.

We turned onto my street and I could see Dad's cruiser in the driveway with an old red truck. I thanked the gods it wasn't Sue's blue SUV.

"Oh should we go? Your dad's home," Edward asked noticing too.

"No it's okay." I shook my head. I didn't know if he would mind. I'd skipped plenty of times before, but that was for a whole other reason that involved my curse. This time was because of Edward… yeah Dad was going to be mad.

"Your dad doesn't care if you skip school?" Edward looked at me surprised.

"Well it _is_ my birthday," I mocked him.

"Wait you should check your mailbox." He walked over to my mailbox as I just stood there. I hadn't received a real birthday card in the mail since… never. Jasper and Rosalie sometimes made me homemade cards… "See you got something!"

"What?" I looked at the large pink envelope in his hand.

Isabella Swan printed in swirly letters with no return address in the corner. I let Edward in and tore open the envelope pulling out the girliest Hallmark card ever made. It was green with pink and purple flowers with words scattered around them.

_Daughter  
What's a birthday other than candles, some cake, and a song? _

I was extremely confused. Dad had never bought me a card before, and he would never mail me one.

"Who's it from?" Edward peeked over my shoulder. I opened it and looked at the bottom seeing the same swirly letters as before.

_Love Renee _

"My mother," I barely whispered.

"Bells? You home?" Dad's voice sailed from upstairs. "What – shit…" he cursed staring at the card in my hands. "I can explain."

"Please..." I stared down at the printed words.

_It's a day to simply enjoy. To be reminded how much you mean to the people who love you. To make a wish and believe in it a little bit extra. A birthday is yours, from start to finish... one small space in time to honor all that you bring into the world._

"She sends one every year on your birthday," Dad started. "When you were three, you got so excited about it you thought she was coming back. You waited by the front door all day and you'd scream if I pulled you away. Even when she didn't come, you watched out for her for a whole month, and then you were devastated. I didn't want to see you go through that again every year."

"What did you do with them?" I wondered. I never knew any of this. He kept it hidden so well.

"Burn them…" he mumbled looking away. I stuffed the card back into the envelope and hugged him placing the card in his hand.

"Thanks Dad," I murmured into his chest as he held me tighter. It wasn't until I heard the shuffling of feet behind me that I remembered Edward was there. "Oh Dad you remember Edward." I pulled away wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Yes…" he cleared his throat. "Why are you here? I mean why aren't you in school?"

"I had a headache, but we're going back for sixth period. What's Billy's truck doing here?" I asked, changing the subject.

"No that's not his," Dad shook his head.

"Whose is it then?" I looked around the house listening for someone else.

"Yours," he gave me a sheepish smile pulling out a key.

"What?!"

"I know it's not much, but Billy needs the extra money and-"

"No it's perfect… Rose is going to hate it," I smiled, almost squealing. "Can I drive it back to school?"

"Just to school and back," Dad nodded handing me the key. I hurried to the truck and jumped in and just smiled inspecting everything. The opening of the passenger door startled me. Edward. He looked confused as he climbed in and ran a hand through his hair. His mouth parted a few times like he wanted to say something.

I had a lot of explaining to do…

"I'm actually surprised you don't know the story already," I sighed. "I'll always be sort of infamous in Forks. The reject, the golden child, and the Baby Swan Scandal of 92. My parents were still in high school when they got pregnant. My dad was so excited and happy; he had job, bought a ring and got a loan from the bank for the down payment on the house. And he wouldn't even take their parents' help. Everyone respected him… and then six hours after I was born, my mom was gone. She left us. Ran off to Mexico or Arizona or somewhere, at least that's what the note said…

"When I said my mother was dead, I meant she was _dead to me_," I finished, sitting in silence waiting for him to say something.

"It's why you don't like your birthday," he murmured.

"It's not much," I said changing the subject as I watched him finger a tear in the leather of the seat. "But this truck used to be my dad's and he had to sell it when he got the cruiser-"

"No I understand. My Volvo was actually my mother's car."

"Oh..." I felt bad remembering when we in the emergency room, how I thought he was so spoiled for worrying about his car after the accident.

"Yeah, it's one of the many reasons why I like Forks. I drive a lot more here than I did in Chicago. The city traffic made me too nervous; I didn't trust other drivers."

"So you like Forks for the weather and the driving?"

"Yeah, but there are some other perks too," he smiled at me in a way that made me blush and look away.

Fortunately everyone showed up for gym, and Coach Clapp was in a better mood than he had been yesterday. Unfortunately he had paired us up boy-girl, and lucky me, my partner was Mike Newton.

I was a regular Charlie Bucket.

We had to run a mile which was about fourteen laps around the gym then we had to go off into pairs with a stopwatch and do sets of sit ups and push ups.

_Damn Bella Swans got stamina..._ Mike was a pig. He'd been staring at my fruits instead of the stopwatch so I ended up doing like 113 sit ups in two minutes, and somehow I impressed with him with my push ups because I didn't do it the "girl way." I wish I could do it the girl way, but my knobby knees against the hardwood floor were extremely painful.

_She really could be a freak in the bed... _He continued with thoughts of me as a sex slave. I'd be his student, and he would teach me all the things to make him feel good... I was ready to kick him hard in between the legs, but the urge to vomit was overpowering it.

"Whoa Bella you're a work out machine," Emmett joked as Coach blew the whistle and everyone made their way to the locker rooms.

"Uh thanks," I flushed. "Jasper went through this phase last summer about wanting to get into West Point, so I'd do these crazy workouts with him."

"Wow does-"

_Bella Swan__?_ … My name echoed in my head and the scene played out like a movie in my head since everyone was focusing on it.

_What the hell is Mike talking about?..._

"_I bet she's a freak in the bed. All weird chicks are," Mike gossiped. _

"_Mike stop," Edward called from across the room. _

"_What? Bella Swan is going to be a wild sex freak… unless Hale hasn't already banged her into one..." _

"_Mike, Bella is my friend," Edward was next him, pushing him against the locker. "I swear to god if you don't stop, I will bang your head into this locker until there's a hole in it." _

"_Alright geez", he scoffed pushing Edward off of him. "I get it you called dibs first."_

_Mike flew back against the lockers._

"Bella? Bella you okay?" Emmett asked with a puzzled look, pulling me out of my own head.

"Yeah, you might want to help Edward," I shook my head feeling dizzy. "Hurry," I urged him waving him away with my hands.

Emmett hurried to the boys' locker room and I turned to the girls'. Edward had stood up for me. He called me his friend in a room full of witnesses… Oh boy, I was going to tell him about my stupid curse. I had to... one way or another and sooner or later. I would do it... one day. Eventually.

When I entered the room, the other girls were all giggling as they finished getting dressed filling the room with different spurts of perfume.

"I know, I know, I'm working on it," Jessica smiled from her locker. "He really does have the most beautiful lips ever though."

"Oh my god, I'm so jealous. You're so lucky. Edward is hot as... as a… I can't even think of anything he's that hot!"

"I know," Jessica laughed as they left the room.

Guess we knew who Edward was sexing up with now.

I dressed quickly and hurried out of the building. It wasn't until I even saw the truck that I remembered I had driven it. Edward stood next to it shuffling his feet and fiddling with the strap of his book bag.

"Hey are you okay?" I asked him as I got closer.

"Yeah…." he nodded his head. "No… no, Mike Newton is a pervert and a jackass, and as your friend Bella, I suggest you should stay as far away as you can from him," he ranted. He didn't need to tell me twice.

"Okay," I nodded fervently, afraid to disagree with him.

Edward turned on his heel agitated, and I dragged Rosalie from her car to my new truck. She made a face but tried to hide it as she mumbled off a list of things to work on. She took inventory of the inside as I drove us home.

"It's... great Bella," Rose said jumping out when I pulled into the driveway.

"You hate it," I smirked at her.

"Yeah, but it suits you," she shrugged at me. "Want to watch a movie later?"

"Yeah, bring one over," I yelled as we both hurried toward our own houses as the rain started to pour.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning and doing laundry as it stormed outside. When I heard the front door open, I'd thought it was just Rose… until I heard the heavy foot steps and their howling.

"Stop pushing me!"

"You pushed me first!"

"Watch it!"

"Oh Bella, we're heeere!"

I peeked down the staircase and groaned at the sight of the pile of large shoes.

"Why are you dogs in my house?" I groaned finding them spread out in the living room with a stack of pizza boxes.

"Well since you're in to parties now, we'd thought we'd come over to celebrate your birthday," Paul smirked at me. He'd looked happier and his eyes were lighter than Friday night. Maybe Jake had finally done some damage control…

"Don't worry we brought ice cream too. It's in the freezer," Seth nodded behind me as he gulfed down a slice.

"Alright just save me some please," I sighed giving in.

I really did miss my friends and I was happy that they came over; and I can't wait for another ten years when they're all married with kids for everything between us to be good again. We took turns playing Nintendo and snacking on junk foods. Dad nearly had a heart attack when he got home when he saw greasy stains on the controllers. He made everyone of them wash their hands before taking their turns again. Rosalie and Jasper came over eventually and we watched some movie called _Transformers_… at least now I knew where Megan Fox came from.

I finally snuck out onto the front porch to be alone. It had finally stopped storming, but the night air was still wet with mist. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, my head feeling better and clearer. My eyes flicked open at the sound of car door closing, and they found the dark figure walking up the driveway.

"Hey," Edward muttered holding something carefully.

"Hey what are you doing here?"

"Well uh… sorry I didn't know you were having a party…" He looked behind me through the windows, hearing the rowdiness of the wolves.

"Yeah I didn't either. The dogs sort of attacked me. I had no choice," I mumbled looking away from him.

"I made you a pie." He held out his hands.

"You made me a pie?" I looked back up at him surprised.

"It's strawberry rhubarb…"

"You made me pie?" I smiled. No one's ever made me anything before except for that one time with Jasper's cake.

"It is your birthday, you can't NOT have a cake or something," he said shuffling his feet.

"Thank you so much," I told him feeling dazed.

"Alright well I'll see you tomorrow," he turned to leave.

"Wait," I stopped him. "Don't you want to stay… and have some pie?"

"Yeah sure," he smiled that same half-smile at me.

I carefully guided Edward inside through the kitchen grabbing forks and spoons and the ice cream from the freezer and led him upstairs. I didn't realize that I was taking him to my room until I opened the door. My eyes scaled the room looking for anything embarrassing. Thank the gods I cleaned today. My room was me… plain. Twin bed with the same purple bed sheets since I was eight. A bookcase completely filled with some books piling up around on the floor. My dresser with my shower stuff splayed on top of it. A small desk with my laptop that never left it. And the rocking chair by the bed that my dad used to hold me in, rocking me to sleep when I was a baby.

I sat on the floor leaning against the bed and used a pile of books as a little table. I didn't think Dad would appreciate me having a boy on my bed. I wasn't too sure on the whole boy-in-my-room topic either because it just didn't happen. Jasper didn't count, but during that brief time that we were "dating", Jasper was under strict orders to go back to his own house at night…

"Why'd you bring up all of these?" Edward asked pulling a spoon the pile. "I remember you gave me a fork with my soup too…"

"I didn't know if you wanted to use a fork or a spoon. I don't know what people generally use for everything. It seems like Jasper and Rosalie always use the opposite of other people," I tried to explain.

"Well with pie, I guess it could be either one," he said thinking aloud. "If it's just plain – a fork. With ice cream – a spoon."

"Makes sense," I mumbled taking a small bite. "Oh my goff, ffhis fis goooffd." It was sweet and tart at the same time and still warm from the oven.

"Thank you," he smiled with the spoon in his mouth. "Are you a vampire?"

"What?"

"A vampire? Is that your secret?" he asked with a serious expression.

"Uh no," I snorted. "Isn't a vampire only supposed to come out at night and turn into a bat and suck people's blood?"

"Well they can't be in sunlight and there's basically no sun in Forks, and I have no idea what you do in your own time," he raised an eyebrow at me.

"No I'm not a vampire," I shook my head at him. "Where did you even come up with that?"

"It was something that… Jake? Jake said. He called you a vampire."

"Oh well when we were little we used to play this game – kind of like cowboys and Indians but instead we were wolves and vampires. One time they'd pin me down and rolled on this body glitter stuff and chase me around in the woods. Sometimes I would _bite_ them and change them into a vampire…"

"Wow… so what kind of music do you listen to?"

"Um I don't really like listening to music that much," I admitted, taking another bite. I saw Edward freeze, slowly pulling the spoon from his mouth.

"It's getting late I need to get home," he said setting down his spoon. I watched him, confused as he stood up.

"Wait did I say something wrong?" I asked analyzing my answer. I-don't-like-music.

"Bella I get it. I'll leave you alone, I'm sorry," he shook his head not looking at me.

"What-why-how did you get _leave me alone_ from I don't like listening to music?"

"Because you listen to music everyday. _Everyday_ you have your ipod in listening to music and sometimes it's so loud I can hear it," he said angrily. "I can't get it. You don't want to be my friend."

"I don't want to be your friend? You're the one who – ugh! You are sooo bi-polar! It's like a cycle. Every three days you get in a pissy mood especially towards me for no reason. I don't understand it. You're the _one_ who doesn't want to be _my_ friend."

"Well that's not true. I want to be your friend!"

"Everyday?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yes everyday…" he rolled his eyes at me.

"Fine then we're friends. Sit down and eat some pie," I growled at him.

"Fine," he sat down spooning a big scoop of vanilla ice cream in his mouth. His face scrunched up and his mouth opened trying to warm it up. "Isst's colf." I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry," I apologized still confused about what we were fighting about.

"No, I'm sorry. If anything came across wrong… I'm sorry. I want to be your friend Bella, and I want you to want me to be your friend," he said slowly figuring out the right words.

"Okay," I nodded. "So we're friends…again."

"And will be everyday," he agreed smiling.

"The music," I sighed. "I like music but I don't listen to anything new or popular. I'd actually like… silence. But the music keeps everything out."

"Keeps what-"

"Bells?" Dad's voice flowed up the stairs.

"Uh yeah Dad?"

"Am I allowed to be up here? Should I hide in the closet? Climb out your window?" Edward whispered walking to my window.

"You're not climbing out my window. You'll fall and break your neck!" I whispered back.

"The guys are leaving, say goodbye," Dad appeared in my doorway looking around my room. I was sitting on the floor with a pie tin and a carton of melted ice cream as Edward stood at the window with his fingers on the ledge trying to open the window.

"Okay, look Edward made me a pie," I smiled innocently pointing to the now empty tin. "Well there was pie…"

"Uh-huh, downstairs now both of you," he grunted turning to the stairs.

"I should have gotten in the closet," Edward mumbled.

I said my goodbyes to everyone promising to see them soon. Rosalie had escaped earlier in the night, Edward left to meet his curfew, and Jaz stayed behind for a while to help clean up. When I finally got in bed, the words from the card my mother sent me popped into my head.

_To be reminded how much you mean to the people who love you._

For me, my birthday seemed to have the opposite effect. My birthday reminded me how much I loved the people around me and how much I needed them. The ones who were willing to stick around…

* * *

**AN****: **Sorry this took so long to post. Work and viruses and blah blah blah.

This IS a ExB story okay guys. Please trust me. Not everything is as it seems.

Charlie Bucket is the little boy from Willy Wonka.

Fact: I once made the mistake of thinking that regular sugar was powdered sugar... But you can't really blame me. I mean sugar is powder! haha

Fact2: the rule about Bella not riding with anyone until she's eighteen is the same rule my mom put on us. I know! insane right?! and she wondered why I didn't have a social life in high school... but also in her defense, she'd been to a lot of funerals for kids our age...

I'm not sure what happens next chapter except for a shopping trip… yikes!

But I might be working on a wolf story – possibly maybe in the way distant future. Or at least a little oneshot. We'll see. Woof woof.

THANKS FOR READING!!


	10. Unfair Confusion

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

* * *

**Unfair Confusion  
Chapter 10**

Everything was different at school the next day. Girls huddled together in groups whispering and giggling, and guys hurried to and from class with their heads down. The reason for it – magic markered posters advertising the school dance in a few weeks. It was kind of entertaining to watch the normal kids squirm wondering who were they going with and making sure no one was going to wear the same thing. Anticipation for the dance was a lot more fun than the actual dance itself… well I actually wouldn't know since I'd never been to one.

My mood changed quickly from amused to pissed off.

"Hey Bella, you want to go to the dance?" A sophomore guy, whose name I couldn't remember, asked me.

"No," I deadpanned.

"No, I meant do you want to go with me?" he tried again.

"No thanks," I turned away from him scowling.

This was all Mike's fault. If he hadn't gone around telling everyone I was a sex freak, then this wouldn't have been happening. I had guys asking me all morning if I wanted to go to this stupid dance. The gods gave me Mike Newton to punish me.

"What's wrong with you?" Rose asked me as I slumped down into my seat at lunch.

"I don't want to talk about it," I grumbled.

"Hey why is Mike starring at you?" Jasper whispered leaning over. I didn't take the chance of looking down the table at him. I looked at Edward and Emmett in front of me and tried to put a fake smile on my face.

"I don't know. That's weird… hey where's Alice?" I changed the subject.

I wasn't sure why but I thought that it would be better if everyone thought I didn't know what was actually going. Also I was afraid what Jaz would do if he'd found out what the other guys were really thinking about me. Hopefully they wouldn't say anything around him. I think most of them were still nervous of him from that night at the movie theater.

"She's in the art room. She's gotta finish a piece by tomorrow."

I nodded rubbing my forehead. I was definitely signing up for art next year. The art room would be a great safe haven compared to the cafeteria. I saw Eric stand up from the table out of the corner of my eye, a look of determination on his face and a glance at me.

"Um I have to go." I hurried away from the table toward the double doors, trying to escape my new personal hell.

"Bella wait," Ben stopped me as I reached the door. If it was anyone else I would have ignored them and kept going. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

"Yeah," I grimaced.

"I have to work the night of the dance, and I was hoping-"

"I'll cover you." The scowl on my face turned into a smile.

"Really? Thanks Bella, I owe you one," he turned away smiling as I left the room.

Finally something good had happened today. Ben worked in the main diner that his mother owned. He had one of those sad stories too. Ben wasn't sure who his actual father was, and he and his mother barely got by with the diner. In elementary school when the class went on expensive field trips, Ben and I were usually left behind playing checkers in the library all day. When I was ten, I used to spend my weekends there wiping tables and filling ketchup bottles. I also admired the large ovens that Ms. Cheney eventually let me use as long as I baked her something too. Sometimes now and then I worked for tips if the diner needed an extra hand.

I found Alice in a corner of the art room, but she wasn't alone. Maurice Garrett graduated a couple of years ago and was an art major following in his mothers footsteps. Mrs. Garrett, or "Mrs. G" the Forks High's crazy art teacher who always had dobs of paint in her gray hair, sat on the other side of the room staring blankly at her computer screen. For a brief, brief-brief moment, I wished I could hear her too. Her mind was probably fascinating.

"Garrett if you can't be nice, please leave," Alice muttered. "I really have to finish this."

"I'm sorry, but I thought Hale would still be with that Swan chick. They seemed very... fitting."

"Yeah I did too," she laughed humorlessly. "You know that they only dated for like two weeks freshman year. I thought that they were - ugh, all that time wasted…"

"Well Alice, you should have gone for it anyways."

"I'm not that kind of girl Garrett," she snapped at him. "I would never steal someone else's boyfriend."

I stood back relieved and ashamed for eavesdropping on them. I mean I usually can't help it, but this time I chose to do it for which I was ashamed. But I was also relieved because I was seeing the real Alice clearer everyday. She really was a nice person. I cleared my throat and stepped into the room trying to make myself known.

"Hey Bella," Alice smiled at me, the frown wiping away from her face.

"Hi," I smiled back sheepishly. Garrett nodded at me and slid out of his seat saying something to his mother. "Is it okay if I hide in here with you?"

"Yeah," she laughed picking up another colored pencil. "What are you hiding from?"

"Um well it seems I've become the new-"

"Let it flow dear," Mrs. G stood next to me with paper and a box of crayons. A large dab of yellow paint was in her hair above her right ear. "If you're going to be in here, you must work on something. Just let it flow." Alice giggled as I stared at her retreating form. Like I said - interesting mind.

"You're the new what?" Alice asked as I started pulling out crayons.

"Um, the new play thing of Forks High. I've had like five guys ask me to the dance," I grimaced shaking my head. "They think I'll be easy and desperate because I've never had a real boyfriend," I added reassuring her that Jasper and I were never a real thing.

"I'm sure that's not true. You're really pretty, I bet some of them really like you," she tried.

"Alice I really know what guys think," I told her realizing a nanosecond later that I had told her my secret and I hadn't felt anxious. Maybe Alice would be good practice for telling Edward the truth.

Alice turned in her finished piece and I gave Mrs. G my doodled paper for proof of work, and we slowly walked down the hall waiting for the bell to ring.

"Are you excited about the dance?"

"Not really," Alice shrugged. "I'll have to see if Jaz wants to go. I'd rather do something with just the two of us or maybe a group thing with you guys."

"Oh well I'm working that night so I wouldn't be able to do anything," I told her as the bell rang.

I found Edward alone thumbing through his text book in Banner's classroom. His eyes were knitted and he looked… not happy.

"Hey," I greeted him as he briefly glanced at me before looking back down.

"Hey," he mumbled. Hello Moody Edward… I busied myself with imaginary tasks until more kids entered the room because I just didn't know what to do with myself.

"Hey Edward," Jessica appeared at our table as I flinched. I hadn't seen her coming. She looked at me glaring slightly and I looked back down.

"Hi," he gave her a fake smile.

"So I was wondering if you had a date for the dance yet?" she smiled at him, her eyes hopeful.

"No," he looked down disappointed as Jessica's face faltered.

"Well I was hoping you'd want to go with me?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

"Oh…" he actually sounded surprised. How could he have missed all of Jessica's _subtle_ hints? "Kay," he nodded.

"Great!" Jessica turned, oblivious of his hesitation. I watched as she skipped back to her seat and Edward stayed quiet.

"I think you'll have a lot of fun with Jessica," I told him trying to fill the awkward silence. He nodded his head silently and continued flipping through his book.

"Will you save me a dance?" he asked pressing out the page corner.

"Oh I'm not going," I snorted. No way in hell was I going to a school dance.

"I thought you were going with Ben," he whipped his head at me.

"No, I don't understand why people keep thinking that I would be a good date," I shook my head at him confused. "But I'm pretty sure Ben's going out with Angela."

"You know," he hesitated. "You're wrong."

"Wrong about what?" Angela was going with Ben. Anyone could tell by the way they were looking at each other with googly eyes.

"I think you would be a great date."

"Why?"

"Well I really like you," he said plainly. He wasn't joking or snickering…

"I won't have sex with you," I told him as his eyes widened and he slipped off his stool.

"Wu – Ba - I," he sputtered sitting back down.

"I'm sorry, but I don't date," I stuttered feeling my cheeks turning red.

"It's okay I still want to be your friend," he stared back at me with wide eyes.

"Okay," I stammered turning away from him. My face felt like it was on fire. I wanted to die. I had no filter. I think the confusion of my new sex appeal had finally caught up to me and clouded my brain, and I just assumed that Edward wanted me in that way. He'd only said that he liked me. I mean I liked a lot of people – Emmett, Alice, Rose. Plus he was going to the dance with Jessica whom he'll probably have lots of sex with… if he wasn't already.

In gym we had to listen to Coach Clapp recite the rules and regulations for badminton and put us into the same pairs we had been in yesterday… Mike was the Cheshire Cat as he walked up to me chatting about how much fun we were going to have. By the third game I realized the gods weren't torturing me… They were rewarding me! I'd lost count of how many times I smacked him with a racket. At first, it was on accident. I'd tried to hit the bird thing when it came my way. Once the racket just flew out of my hand. But then… I just started swinging whenever Mike came into arm's reach, and no one was the wiser. He deserved it anyway for starting all of that nonsense of me being a sex freak. Hopefully I knocked all of those thoughts out of him.

I couldn't wipe the goofy smile off my face when I entered the locker room. Nothing could - not even the toxic perfumes.

"At least you're going with him."

"Yeah, but he's still hung up over some girl," Jessica whined. "Probably some bimbo back in Chicago."

"Well you'll just have to show Edward what he's got right in front of him," Lauren consoled her.

My smile was gone. I was even more embarrassed for my crass self in Bio. As I changed, I thought of impossible ways to erase Edward's memory. Give him amnesia by pushing him in front of Tyler's van. Time travel to warn myself to keep my mouth shut. But something would probably go wrong causing some sort of alternate reality where there was no Edward. Or I could just go to the alternate reality where I could actually hear Edward and switch places with my alter ego. No that wouldn't work. I couldn't convince myself to live in a world where she couldn't read Edward's mind. Unless she didn't want to hear him anymore. Maybe Edward was-

"Hey!" A velvet voice startled me as I dropped my books in the hallway. Edward was next to me picking up my books. "Sorry didn't mean to scare you…"

"No it's okay. I just have a lot on my mind." I had way too much going on…

"Bella!" Eric appeared next to Edward out of no where with a grin on his face. "Hey I was-"

"I'm sorry but I'm not going to the dance Eric. I have to work that night," I cut him off not wanting to prolong this shit anymore than it had to be.

"Oh alright…" His face fell and I watched him walk away before Edward cleared his throat next to me.

"Well, I uh just wanted to give you a high five," he smiled holding up his hand. "For beating the shit out of Mike."

"Oh that was an accident…" I lied.

"No the first four times were an accident. The ninety-six other times were not," he laughed still holding his hand up.

"Okay," I smiled slapping his hand. "But he deserved it."

"Oh I know and I'm kind of jealous…"

"Oh, did you want me to smack you around too?" I joked, picking up the pace as we got outside.

"Only if I did something to deserve it," he smirked before hurrying off to his car.

Alice was waiting by my truck smiling brightly at me under her umbrella as she jabbered on about Jasper. Something about their plans about the dance being unsure but they were still dressing up… I didn't know. Alice talked way too fast, and my head was still hazy from all the over thinking I had been doing.

"So I was thinking that you, me, and Rosalie could browse around Port Angeles? I know you're not going to the dance, but I think it'll be fun to hang out."

"Sure Alice sounds great."

"Great I'll get Rosalie." Wait we were going today? Right now?!

I tried my best to keep my grumbling to a minimum as I dropped off my truck leaving a note for Dad and as we drove to the mall in Port Angeles in Alice's little beetle. I didn't hate shopping. I just didn't like browsing around for hours, trying on everything in three different sizes, and then coming home empty handed… I hated shopping.

"I love the purple one," Alice commented Rose as she turned in the mirror. It had been the third hour and the second store of Alice and Rose looking at dresses. I didn't even understand why Rose was doing this… she wasn't even going to the dance. It must have been a girl thing that I hadn't been programmed for or something.

"Yeah, but I think this would look better on Bella though," Rose's reflection smirked at me as I grimaced. I'd semi-enjoyed watching them squeal and twirl around, but me trying on dresses...

"Yeah, try on this one too. I think this would be amazing on you," Alice handed me a black dress. She was wearing a short, emerald green dress and when she danced around, she reminded me of a fairy. I stood there holding the dress by the hanger looking at it like it was fungus until purple fabric landed over my shoulder.

"It's just a dress Bells. It's not gonna bite you," Rose muttered in my ear pushing me into a dressing room. After a few minutes of struggling, I found out that the purple dress didn't fit.

"I'm not coming out."

"You have to show us," Alice said pulling the curtain of my dressing room open.

"Alice," I growled crossing my arms.

"Relax Bella, it's just the wrong size," Rose tugged at my arms. The front was too loose, and the fabric pooled at my feel.

"Oh my gosh, you're tiny!" Alice squealed causing my hands to hide my fruits. "Here this should be your size!" A dark blue dress was flung at me, and I wasn't afraid to keep the groaning to myself as I shrugged it on. The dress was tight and wrapped around me in a way that reminded me of a fancy mummy. It also made my fruits look like melons, and the straps were awkward by not staying up right.

"You ready Bells?" Rose sounded behind me.

"No," I snorted as she pulled the curtain.

"Oh my-"

"Damn!" Alice gaped at me.

"I know these straps are really strange," I fiddled with the dark fabric.

"They're supposed to be like that," Alice smiled at me, pulling the straps down passed my shoulders.

"Oh…"

"Bella you have to buy this dress," Rose nodded at me.

"What do I need a dress for?" I rolled my eyes at her. I had to do a double take. Rose was wearing a scarlet red gown that really accentuated her curves.

"Trust me I'll make sure there's a reason for it. This dress was made for you. I didn't know you had a body under all those layers," Alice complimented me, making me blush.

"I'm not buying it," I shook my head determined.

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes, you are." Their voices echoed.

After a lengthy debate… Rosalie bought me the dress and Alice decided to buy a new jacket for me that was "cute and stylish". I was almost in tears by the time we were done. I hated that they were spending money on me, and they had paid so much. At least Alice was a smart shopper and had magical ways. She'd found a hooded jacket with an inside pocket! that she deemed "hella sexy". And I had to admit that I really did like it; the color was such a dark purple that it looked black, and it was comfortable to wear.

They refused my money when we got to my house. I mean I would have paid for the dress and the jacket if I had brought money, but I hadn't planned on buying anything. Dad even tried to persuade them, and Rose argued it was for my birthday. Then Alice was insulted that I didn't tell her it that it had been my birthday... We were at an impasse.

"Okay I've got to work late tonight," Dad said pulling on his belt. "Rose, you staying over?"

"Yeah, I'll tell my mom and dad," she nodded fumbling through our cabinets.

"It was nice to meet you Alice. Love you Bells," he nodded heading for the door.

"Love you. Be safe!" I smirked at my innuendo. Usually when Dad worked late, he made a stop sometime over at Sue's place. I wasn't sure how I felt about little Swans running around the house.

Two weeks flew by fast, and Alice and I had gotten a lot closer. She'd invited me back to the art room for lunch almost everyday and we'd just draw and talk. I felt bad for abandoning Rose, but she said she liked eating in the cafeteria. She didn't get a chance to really talk to Jasper that much anymore and liked having quality time with him. But I wondered if she also enjoyed the _quality time_ with a certain curly-haired someone too. I tried picking through Emmett's head, but his mind was all over the place focusing on schoolwork to ramblings of Spanish and Vietnamese. Like he was hiding something. Which then made me feel extremely guilty because he thought I was spying on him… and I had.

Edward had stopped guessing. The last guess was when he thought I was psychic… I wish I was psychic. That would be way cooler and more useful than hearing what boys think. But also Edward had been really nice and not moody… at least not during the times I saw him. Beside biology and the hallways, I rarely ever talked to him. Gym had become really boring. Even hitting Mike with a racket was less entertaining, and Edward was partnered with Jessica who was stuck to him like glue.

Fortunately my shift at the diner went by quickly and smoothly. I felt bad for leaving Rosalie by herself again, but she shrugged it off. She said she was still doing our traditional movie night and joked that she was still going to make three bowls of popcorn.

Jasper and Alice stopped by all dressed up. Alice wore the green strappy dress that she'd bought on our trip in Port Angeles and Jasper looked strange yet nice in a white dress shirt and a black vest. It was just unusual to see him in something else besides jeans and a t-shirt - or his pajamas. They were going to the dance for a little bit and then do something fun afterward… whatever that was.

Emmett dropped by during rush hour while he was running errands with Esme. Part of me was super happy that he wasn't going to the dance, but the other was mad at him for not asking Rose. She'd probably say no like she did to everyone else, but at least he would have been trying. When did I become such a matchmaker?

A lot of the other customers at the diner were happy to see me and were very generous with their tips. They were also curious to why Ben wasn't working and Mrs. Cheney had no problem telling everyone that he was at the school dance with Angela Webber. It was kind of cute how she gushed over them.

"Shoot a monkey. Shoot a monkey. Shoot a monkey. Shoot a monkey," Mrs. Cheney came rushing out of the kitchen with a red washcloth in her hand. "Bella I just sliced my hand open. I think I might need stitches."

"Are you okay? Do you need me to drive you?" I gaped at her as she rushed around behind the counter.

"No no, I can drive. Could you just close up for me and make sure everything's turned off? You know what to do."

"Alright," I nodded realizing that the red washcloth used to be white…

It was 9:30 and the diner was empty. It was usually busy on Friday nights, but because of the dance we'd been slow. And Mrs. Cheney closed the diner at ten so I only had thirty minutes until I had to lock the door. I finished wiping down tables and chairs and went to the back to see if Mrs. Cheney had made a mess. It looked like she'd cut her hand in the sink washing dishes, and the water was rusty brown. Cringing, I carefully sunk my hand in and pulled the plug draining the sink.

The bell of the door opening startled me and I hurried back to the front.

"Hey how are you…" My words died off when I saw Edward standing in the doorway. "Hi…"

"Hey," he smiled sitting on a stool at the counter. "You seem really busy. Do you want me to come back when it slows down?"

"Would you?" I smiled playing along. "I'm here all by myself and I'm swamped with orders."

"Wait, you're here by yourself?" he gasped.

"Yes…"

"You can't be left alone! It's late on a Friday night. What if someone came in here and robbed you or worse?!" he looked at me angry.

"Look I can handle myself and plus this is Forks. Nothing that exciting ever happens here," I told him, feeling a little insulted. "And the only reason I'm here by myself is because Mrs. Cheney had to go to the emergency room. It's not like she did it on purpose."

"I'm sorry," he slumped down onto the counter. "Is she okay?"

"I think so, but she'll probably need stitches. She was bleeding a lot…"

"Do you need any help closing?" he asked pulling off his coat and started rolling up his sleeves. The dark green dress shirt looked really nice on him, and it made his eyes stand out even more.

"No I'm almost done… how was the dance? Where's Jessica?"

"She went to some party. I didn't feel like going," he ran a hand through his hair. "And uh honestly, the dance was kind of boring. They played Lady Gaga way too much…"

"What's Lady Gaga?" I knitted my eyes at him.

"You don't know who Lady Gaga is?" he asked surprised as I shook my head. "It's better if you don't know," he smiled.

"So were the dances in Chicago better?"

"I wouldn't know. I never went to one."

"Oh… I'd thought someone like you-"

"Someone like me?" he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Someone perfect and popular," I admitted.

"I don't know if I should be feeling insulted or flattered?" he tilted his head to the side.

"Flattered because we're friends," I nodded.

"You know, in Chicago I was an entirely different person. I went to a private school that was K-12 so I grew up with the same kids, and they used to call me Eddie Cullen the geek– the loser – the freak. I was really sick as a kid and practically all the time. That's when the bullying started. The worst was when I was thirteen and I got braces and for a few months I had to wear that awful headgear all the time. In high school Emmett and I started working out because I was so scrawny. I couldn't take it anymore…

"And then we moved here. It's strange not being the nerd and it's even stranger being called popular and perfect."

"Wow… I didn't know." I had no idea. Did they not have eyes? It seemed impossible that someone so awesome and beautiful as Edward had been bullied.

"It's not something I'm going around telling everybody."

"Thank you… for telling me. I – I want to tell you my secret, but I just… I'm not ready yet. I've been using Alice as practice though," I joked.

"Alice knows too?! Am I the only one who doesn't know about it?!"

"No. No she doesn't understand what I'm saying half the time." I told him nervously. "Only a handful of people have ever known about it. And I have a hard time telling you because... you're kind of an exception."

"I have no idea what that even means," he shook his head confused.

"Everything will make sense one day," I hoped. I looked back at him and met his gaze as he nodded. His eyes drifted to something behind me and he smiled that mesmerizing smile.

"Does this still work?" he whipped around on the stool and hurried to the old jukebox in the corner.

"Yes…" I answered slowly. Had he never seen one before? I walked over next to him as he bent down browsing the basic collection of one hit wonders and old favorites. It wasn't long before he dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a quarter.

"What song are you going to play?" I asked him as the coin fell into the slot.

"Guess," he said resting his arms on top of the machine. His head was turned in my direction and for a brief moment I couldn't think. It was as if my brain short circuited or something.

"Um I don't know," I fumbled my words. Seeing the opportunity and feeling a bit daring, I said it. Out loud. "I can't read your mind…"

He looked back down and pressed a few buttons and I sighed in relief. The building was still standing and I was still breathing. Nothing happened.

"Uh…" he breathed standing up straight and turning to me. I felt very small looking up at him. Familiar opening notes started playing from the speakers.

"Clair de Lune?" I asked surprised. I remembered it was one of the two classical songs on the jukebox. Mrs. Cheney used to play them when she opened the diner in the mornings.

"You know Debussy?" his eyes widened in surprise.

"I know every song on the jukebox… plus my dad fell for the classical-music-makes-your-baby-smarter bit. I have it on a CD at home," I mumbled as he took a step closer to me. He gently grabbed my hand and waist and pulled me closer to him. I felt my body being pushed backward and I took a step back as he stepped with me. We moved in a circular pattern before he stopped.

"What?" he knitted his eyes at me.

"What?" I looked up at him confused.

"You have this look of terror on your face."

"It's probably because I can't dance…" I muttered trying to erase any emotion from my face.

"You were doing good just now, but you know, I've heard it's all in the leading," he smirked at me.

"What makes you-"

The bell on the diner door rung loudly and I jumped, distancing myself away from Edward. Ben and Angela walked in giggling and holding hands.

"Bella? You're still here? Mom hasn't let you go yet? Mom!" Ben called out. "Mom?!"

"Ben... She's okay, but she had to go to the hospital. She cut her hand," I tried to slow my words as they rushed out. Angela stopped giggling and Ben's face blanched.

"What?! Is she okay?! Why didn't she call me?!"

"She might need stitches, but she's okay. She even drove herself there," I tried again.

After calming Ben down, Angela got him into her car to go find Mrs. Cheney in the ER. I finished the closing checklist quickly making sure everything was turned off and locked, and Edward waited patiently for me outside.

"So I'll see you Monday," he called across the parking lot from his car. Even at night it was shiny, practically glowing in the dark.

"Yeah and Edward… thanks," I yelled back as he nodded and I continued climbing into my truck.

The house was dark when I got home, and I was so exhausted I didn't bother turning any lights on. I was only able to shed a few layers of clothing before I fell into bed… next to someone. Rose was curled up on my bed with her head underneath my pillow. I nudged her softly, and she mumbled something, her voice groggy and thick. Clear signs that she'd been crying.

"Rose?" I rubbed her shoulder.

"It's not fair," she cried.

"What's not fair?"

"He has nightmares too…"

"Who does?" I whispered as she tried falling back into deep sleep.

"Emmett."

* * *

AN: Yep. Edward is just a puny human. Sorry. A lot of you had some crazy cool ideas but this is the story I'm writing.

Sorry this chapter is soooo late. BUT I've been doing really well in my A&P class just so you know. Three A's on my last three quizzes. I'm ecstatic.

Fact: When I'm in a G-rated zone, I make up random curses. Like "shoot a monkey"… My other ones make less sense… Also in 8th grade, this girl in my class had to wear the full headgear. She has the most amazing smile now though…

I have a **surprise** coming up soon and that should make it up for this mess. You can probably guess what it is… I don't know. But actually I might have to post it after the next chapter… I'm not sure… grrr

Question: Do you guys think I should twitter? – as an author I mean. Would you be interested in sneak peeks or my random thoughts? Just wondering….

THANKS FOR READING!!


	11. Edward's Take Out

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There are **lots of strong language and subjects **in this chapter…

AN: EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV

* * *

**Edward's Take Out  
Outtake **

Fumbling through the fridge I pulled out an old container of honey chicken and grabbed a soda. I didn't eat much of anything before I went to the dance which was a big mistake. I wasn't sure if there was some kind of rule like there was for swimming. Wait thirty minutes after eating before dancing… In my defense, I had no idea what it was going to be like. I'd never been to a dance before. There had been a small table of pretzels and cookies and bad punch, but I was starving. Part of me was hoping to grab something at the diner but Bella had been alone. No way was I about to order something when she was all alone and about to close.

Bella Swan was a mystery and for some reason I was completely obsessed with her. I wasn't a crazy stalker who climbs into her window at night to watch her sleep, but I was close...

The first time I saw her Emmett had pointed to a picture of Jessica and Eric in one of Alice's yearbooks. Rosalie and Bella were in the background laughing about something, and I'd thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.

The first time I met her she was a total bitch ignoring us and listening to her ipod so loud I could hear the music. It was a major turn off. And I was done with that. I made a promise to myself that I was starting over in Forks. I wasn't going to take anyone's shit.

The first time I spoke to her I was a dick. But how could I not have been one when the first girl I'm ever attracted to is a bitch. Like the rest of them. Judgmental and fake. And then she asked me if I had a vagina... Who does that?

The first time I touched her I saved her life. Not really but I did save her face from a basketball. And also her skin was really soft and it sent a shiver up my arm like as if she had shocked me. It might have been why she always flinched whenever I used to touch her. She doesn't do it anymore though...

But I had been a jackass to her too and especially to Emmett. I'd thought that they were... together. Together-together. Which had pissed me off. I didn't think I'd ever been so mad or so jealous in my entire life before. I mean Bella Swan wasn't mine to claim, but Emmett knew about my fascination with her. Not to mention he made fun of me for the dreams and the sleep talking. But I had just assumed with the secret looks and conversations, and shit! the restroom at school! I assumed the worst that my brother had betrayed me. It wasn't a nice feeling, and it was a worse feeling when he told me the truth. I was ashamed of myself.

I had a communication problem with her. We were definitely thinking on different wavelengths because she never does what I expect her too. Bella Swan was not a normal girl. That was what I liked most about her. Plus she can bake just like Esme. Maybe even better. I mean those pumpkin cookies were amazing. It's strange that they've known each other for more than ten years - even longer than I've know Esme. I have had to bite the inside of my cheek to when it was nearly bleeding to keep from asking her questions. I didn't want Esme to know that I liked Bella because Esme was crazy. If I ever had a girl to bring home, I wouldn't. It must be a mom thing or something because Emmett brought a girl home once and she went nuts, she was so excited.

I wanted her to like me. It was why I stopped questioning her. I only started asking questions so I could get to know her, but I wanted her to trust me and tell me her secret herself. And I was almost there. She said it herself tonight that she wanted to tell me. I just had to wait it out. I didn't even really care what her secret was. It wasn't like she killed someone or had an abortion. She didn't have Turrets or probably any other disease for that matter. I could tell when she was lying by the way her eyes shifted and her lips parted. It was very subtle, but I was insanely stalker-ish. I was always watching her. I had felt immensely guilty after calling her pretentious because it wasn't until a few days later that I realized it was just me. She wasn't conceited or ostentatious. I just couldn't take my eyes off of her. I was so captivated by her. I was just mad that Emmett knew and I didn't. How did he figure it out? How come I couldn't?

I finished the last bite of noodles and chugged the rest of my mountain lion. I'm not sure why it amused me, but the generic mountain dew did. It tasted fantastic too, not like the terrible Chinese food I just consumed.

The light was on in Dad and Esme's room as I quietly tiptoed by. I made sure to make enough noise to let them know I was home, but I wasn't ready for Esme's interrogation. Oddly Emmett's door was closed, and no light was coming out underneath the door. It was only 11 o'clock. He still should have been awake playing video games or watching TV. I wondered if he was sore with me because I went to the dance. He didn't seem to mind earlier, but sometimes I couldn't tell with Emmett. He tended to hide things well.

I slipped into my room quietly and turned on the small lamp on the desk. My room had once been the library, but Esme thought I would enjoy the shelf space. Half the books had been donated to the Forks library leaving me plenty of space for my own books and music. I didn't just inherit my mother's nose and car but also her music collection. She had an extensive one too - records, cassettes, and a few CDs. And while she was pregnant she played classical music too; though I think it was because she just liked it rather than what Bella's father believed. I filed through the CDs and pulled one and slipped it into the stereo. I shrugged out of my clothes tossing them into the hamper and finished getting ready for bed in the hallway bathroom. I smiled stumbling into bed when the first few notes of Clair de Lune played, and I remembered my sort of-dance with Bella. I was proud of myself for being so bold when she didn't reject me and I got to hold her close. My eyes closed and found myself in a whirlwind of dreams.

When I woke up I had to squeeze my eyes shut because the light was so bright. When I was able to open them again slightly, I realized wasn't in my bed. I wasn't even inside. Shit. I was in the meadow. Had I been sleepwalking too? But it was different. It felt different - warm and dry, and it looked different too - vivid and beautiful. There were flowers every where and no clouds in the sky. A familiar body and scent laid next to me and when I rolled over I met doe eyes. Bella. Had she found me here? How long had she been waiting for me to wake up?

"I want to tell you my secret," she smiled nervously. _Tell me!_ I wanted to tell her, but my lips wouldn't move.

"Dude I can't tell you! You wouldn't believe me anyways. It's on the supernatural side of things." Her head had morphed into Emmett's and I jumped, rolling myself away from her, err him.

"It's strange but cool. She really understands people. She can see things from their point of view," Emmett had changed into a squeaky Alice.

"Be friends with Bella, she makes cookies for your birthday. And it's like magic! She always makes what I want and I don't even have to ask. It's like she's reading my mind!" Alice grew bigger and darker into a Native American boy.

I jolted awake in my bed breathing heavily. Bella Swan was a mind reader. She had to be. Everything fit and made sense. The way she cut people off or had a quick answer for everything. How she found Emmett in the school restroom. How she knew Alice was in trouble at the movies in Port Angeles. How Emmett can tutor her by just working out the problem and not verbally explaining it.

And she has her ipod with her all the time. _The music keeps everything out. _It was why she plays it so loud.

Shit. _Shit_. _Shit_! Bella was a mind reader. She can read minds. She can read my mind! Shit shit shit! She was been reading my mind! Oh my shit! Why was she still talking to me? Why did she still want to be my friend? She knew I liked her, and the dreams! Shiiiit! But I can't help them. It wasn't entirely my fault. When I was fourteen I had so much trouble falling asleep and staying asleep that Dad prescribed me some medication. When I learned that we were moving to Nowhere-Forks, I wanted off of them. Dad agreed and so finally I didn't need them anymore. Forks was a peaceful town and I didn't have trouble sleeping at all. It was the waking up part that was… not good. My meds had a side effect that basically decreased my libido so… now that I wasn't on them anymore, I was horny 110% of the time instead of the average 97% of the time like other guys.

Maybe if I just explained that to Bella… It wasn't like I was constantly trying to have sex with her. I wasn't even trying. I just liked her and wanted to be her friend… and if that friendship evolved into a relationship, I wouldn't mind. Just shit. I'd almost rather be Eddie the abstinent freak than Edward the new guy-horn dog. I was a monster.

I couldn't go back to sleep. I stayed up doing household chores trying to keep my mind off of Bella and my fatal embarrassment. After checking the laundry and cleaning the windows, I started cleaning out the refrigerator. I wiped down every possible surface and tossed out every fast food container. No more take out for me.

"Hey that was still good…"

"Shit!" I flinched bumping my head on a shelf.

"Shit to you too son," Dad said plainly, holding onto the door. He was wearing red flannel pants and a holy white t-shirt and his hair stacked messily similar to mine.

"Sorry, you surprised me," I mumbled rubbing my head.

"What are you doing up so early?" he asked walking over to the stove and pulling out a heavy pan.

"Weird dreams."

"So… how was the dance?" he asked casually grabbing the bacon from the meat drawer I just reorganized.

"Fine," I shrugged. "I left early though…"

"Oh where'd you go afterward?" he asked again in that fake-casual tone.

"Jessica and some people wanted to go to some party, but I didn't feel like going so I dropped by the diner."

"Oh who was at the diner?"

"Just Bella," I rolled my eyes at him. It was like he and Esme traded places. I hadn't expected an interrogation from him.

"Just Bella… Swan?"

"She's the only Bella I know," I nodded mocking his tone.

"Hmmm… shoot, no eggs," he groaned.

"I'll go get some," I jumped at my chance for escape.

I hurried out of the house not bothering to put on real clothes but some tennis shoes and a jacket. I didn't care. No one would see me except for the two people who actually worked in the store. The parking lot was basically empty with only a few cars, and I quickly found the eggs on the other end other store. As I turned the corner I bumped into someone. The feeling of egg yolk seeping into my shirt.

"Edward?" _Shit. _

"Bella," I squeaked. _Shit shit shit. _The mantra played over and over in my head.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry," she apologized looking down at the crushed carton in my hands.

"It's okay." _Shit shit shit. _

"Here," she took the carton from me and disappeared behind me.

"Thanks," I mumbled when she reappeared with two egg cartons, handing me one.

_Shit shit I know you can read minds! Shit shit shit! _

"Again I'm sorry," she looked up at me with her doe eyes.

_Bella? Can you hear me? I know. I figured it out. _

"Edward?" she asked puzzled.

"It's okay…" I shook my head confused. _Raise your hand if you can hear me Bella. _

"So has Emmett been acting weird this morning?" she asked innocently as if she… didn't hear me.

_Blink twice if you can hear me... _No blinking. "What? No I haven't even see him yet…"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I nodded.

"Alright… Well I really have to get going, and I'm really sorry about your shirt… I'll see you on Monday?"

"Yeah, bye Bella." I was in a complete daze as I said my goodbye and paid for the eggs.

I sat at the kitchen table tired and confused as Dad made Esme breakfast. I was so sure that she was a mind reader. It had made sense. Everything added up and equaled Bella Swan was a mind reader. I pinched the bridge of my nose closing my eyes and wracked my brain for some kind of answer. All I could think about was when I was dancing with Bella and how close she was to me like this morning when I bumped into her.

"_I can't read your mind…"_

"_You're kind of an exception…"_

Her voice echoed in my head, and it clicked. Maybe… Maybe Bella couldn't read my mind. I remembered her telling me… her eyes focused and lips clamped. She hadn't been lying. She couldn't hear me! That's why she still wanted me to be her friend.

"What's all over your shirt?" Emmett asked grumbling and stumbling into the kitchen.

"Just shit," I smiled.

* * *

AN: It was EPOV if you didn't catch that. You're welcome. This was the surprise I was talking about. Maybe more to come in the future? I don't know. It was definitely fun to write. but the ending didn't really turn out like I wanted though it doesn't matter. this is just an outtake, but it **does actually occur **in the story plot.

And no they're not sharing/experiencing dreams together. It wasn't the same dream Bella had. It just sort of mimicked it .... plus I already wrote that story. ;)

Do people refer soda as "pop" anymore? Like in the North (US)? I feel like people do… Where I live, we basically call everything coke… I almost had Edward say "pop." I think it's amusing…

*Oh Mountain Lion is a **real** drink. You can buy it from any Food Lion. It's there generic store brand of Mountain Dew. And it makes me laugh. Edward Cullen would definitely drink it.

Sorry I said shit 28 times. I don't know what's wrong with me. :/ yikes.

THANKS FOR READING!!


	12. Surprise

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

* * *

**Surprise  
Chapter 11**

For once I woke up before Rosalie. I didn't know if it was a Southern thing of getting up early to work on a farm or something but the entire Hale family were morning people. Though I did know in Rose's case it was because of her nightmares. We didn't talk about it much, but she still had them once and a while. And it was usually the same one of her running and getting lost in the woods. It had nothing to do with the guy even… just the feeling of being panicked and scared. Whenever it was really bad she would sneak into my room and curl up with me. But last night had nothing to do with her nightmares, it was about Emmett's.

How she found out about them, I don't know, but I hated when Rose cried. It was why I was making pancakes for breakfast. Food had always been my safety. Didn't know what to get someone for their birthday? Cookies. Didn't know if Dad was going to be angry with me for something I did? Steak and potatoes. Someone needed a pick me up? Ice cream. But this case called for pancakes. Unfortunately I didn't have anything to make them so I had to run to the store where I ran into Edward. Literally. I ran into him crushing his carton of eggs and bathing him in egg yolk.

I didn't think he was too mad about it, but he seemed really out of it. I tried asking him about Emmett, but he didn't know anything. He must not have been a morning person either. Also I had to admit… Morning Edward was beautiful too. There wasn't a time when he wasn't. I really wish there was… it'd make him seem more human. I didn't care what he told me; I bet he was always beautiful. Those people in Chicago were just stupid or blind or both.

"Hi…" Rose mumbled stumbling into the kitchen.

"Hey," I smiled setting the stack of pancakes on the table with the bottle of maple syrup.

"How was work?" she asked pulling two onto her plate.

"Good, I got a lot of tips. Jasper and Alice stopped by. And Edward… and Emmett."

"Oh?" she took a large bite and chewed thoroughly. I stayed quiet until she finally looked up at me and sighed. "I hung out with him last night."

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I did… sort of. I told you I was still doing movie night... Just at his house."

"What movie did you watch?" I asked thinking starting out with smaller questions would be better than the big one.

"Julie and Julia… the one with Meryl Streep," she chewed.

"I don't…" I shook my head.

"The one about Julia Child."

"Ohh! Was it good?!" Julia Child was a god.

"Yeah, you'll like it. Esme did," she nodded.

"What?"

"Esme watched it with us."

"So you went on a date with Emmett and his mom?" I smiled biting my lip to keep myself from laughing.

"It wasn't a date," she huffed. I stayed silent until she smiled and started to giggle. "It kind of was… I finally go on a date and he brings his mom."

"What happened?" I asked after we both quieted from our giggles. I knew she understood what I meant by the way she set down her fork.

"After the movie we were playing Scrabble and Esme made us some hot chocolate. I tried to steal a marshmallow from his mug and he pulled away and spilled it all over the front of his nice shirt. Esme heard us and told him to take it off so she could throw it in the wash… I saw his…"

"Scars."

"You know?"

"Yeah, he um showed me when he figured out my curse. He said that we would be even."

"He told me everything about his parents and the adoption. He said he'd never be like his father and that he'd never hurt me. He knew something happened to me, and then I told him about my stuff too."

"Wow, I'm really proud of you Rosalie," I told her as she looked away. "… kind of intense for a first date," I laughed trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah we both got a lot of baggage, but it's worth it… He's sooo hot," she giggled as the front door shut.

"Mmmmm pancakes," Jasper groaned walking into the kitchen.

Jasper was very eager to share every detail about his night. He and Alice went to a nice restaurant in Port Angeles and to the school dance for a bit where Alice was the _most beautiful_ girl ever. Then they parked in front of her house and just talked listening to music until her curfew with maximum kissing. It was funny to compare Jasper and Rose to each other. Jasper was so open and candid while Rose was reserved and quiet.

"We hung out with Edward too until Jessica and her friends wanted to go to a party at Newton's," he added at then of his story. "They didn't dance much."

"That's strange," I said taking another filling bite. "He danced with me."

"What?!" Rose snapped her up at me.

"What?" I looked at them nervously.

"And I'm the one holding back?"

"He came by right before closing, and he was looking at the jukebox. Then he..."

"He… what?" Jasper asked leaning over his plate.

"He... Ugh. I'm not talking about this," I shook my head at them.

"Oh come on! Did he kiss you?" Jasper whispered loudly.

"No!" I choked out.

"Well I have to go get dressed. Emmett's coming over... I'm gonna him show how to change his oil," Rose mumbled putting her plate in the sink. "Thanks for breakfast Bella."

As soon as the front door closed, Jasper started, "When did that happen?!"

After relaying most of Rose's story, Jasper left to change out of his pajamas and I was left with a sink full of dirty dishes. Jaz and Rose didn't have too many chores or responsibilities at their house, but they did help out sometimes around here. I didn't mind doing them alone. Dad actually did them when he was home for dinner and usually shooed me away since I made dinner...

When I heard the front door close again, my whole body stiffened. I didn't know if it was the combination of silence and heavy footsteps or his smell or something, but Edward was in my kitchen.

"Uh hi, sorry I didn't knock. Rosalie said to just come right in," he said.

"No it's okay," I studied him as he shifted his weight. He'd changed his clothes from when I saw him at the store, and his hair was still damp. He'd probably taken a shower to rinse off the egg goo.

"Do you want some help?" he asked coming toward me and picking up a towel.

"Sure," I nodded dumbly. I washed and he dried in silence for a few minutes before he crouched down looking out the small window above the sink.

"So… did you know about Rose and Emmett?"

I retold another revised version of the story and Edward started a game of Twenty Questions by the time we finished the dishes. The game had been fun at first because I'd never seen Edward so playful. But now it was driving me crazy because Edward was the answerer and I had to ask all the questions.

"You cheated. I win."

"I did not. It was question twenty, and you couldn't figure it out so I win," he grinned at me.

"You said it was a person. Bugs Bunny is not a person. He's not human; he's a rabbit," I argued.

"Bugs Bunny is a person. He's one of the most famous cartoon characters ever."

"The pleural form of person is people. When you see a herd of bunnies, you don't say look at those people hopping around. He's an animal – not a person."

"Herd of bunnies?" he quirked his head scratching his chin. "That's not right."

"What?"

"I think it's a nest or a colony of rabbits. Not a herd," he scoffed.

"You are so…" I growled at him.

"Right… Intelligent… Charming…" he grinned.

"Infuriating," I told him getting up from the kitchen table and headed for the door. I heard his footsteps behind me and I left the front door open for him to follow me to the Hale house.

Jasper and a very tired looking Alice sat on the front porch with a deck of cards. Emmett and Rose's were underneath his Jeep - a pair of legs hanging out from each side.

"Hey guys," she smiled sipping a coffee cup.

"Alice, is Bugs Bunny a person?"

"Huh?"

"He's not human," Jasper shook his head reshuffling the deck.

"That wasn't the question. Is he a person?" Edward pointed out standing beside me and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Hmmm, well…" Alice was doing something on her magic phone. "There are a lot of definitions for person, but there is… a character or role of a story… or an individual of distinction."

"Ha!" Edward sounded in my ear.

"But there's about ten more about being human," Jasper said reading over Alice's shoulder.

"Ha!" I mocked him as he smirked at me. "I win."

After a long debate over what card game to play, Edward won with his pick, and we settled into a game of Go Fish. I had stopped asking Edward for kings and fours and kept looking to Jaz and Alice. I felt really agitated when I looked at him, and Edward didn't deserve my attitude for something he couldn't control.

"Got any twos Alice?" I waited for her response. "Alice?" I looked up at her and my eyes darted to Jasper. His eyes were focused and his body was hunched as if were a crouching lion about to attack a zebra.

"Jasper?" Alice squeaked as he jumped up hopping over the railing and ran to the jeep where Emmett's legs stuck out. He yanked on one of his ankles and his fist met Emmett's face before I could even process what was happening.

"What the hell Jasper?!" Rose yelled as Edward pulled him off. She hurried from the other side of the jeep, her face deeply red with odd smears of oil.

Alice and I sat still as they started screaming at each other and Emmett sat up with a hand to his mouth, his face covered with similar black smears. She finally skipped off the porch and followed Jasper as he stomped away down the street, and Rose took Emmett inside for some ice. Edward trailed back toward me with a blank face.

"Did you catch any of that?" he asked sitting down next to me as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Um I think Emmett and Rose were kissing. Jasper thought he was protecting her by punching Emmett. Rose said she's a big girl and Jasper's sorry," I told him what I got from the all the screaming and confusion.

"Oh right," he nodded smiling weakly before picking up his cards. "Got any twos?"

Everyone was back to normal by Monday. It was like the fight had never happened, and Emmett and Jasper continued telling each other jokes and old stories. Even Rosalie and Emmett's seemed to be the same. Quiet and distant. But some things were different. Alice and I had to sit in the in the lunchroom this week, and Emmett had taken my seat so he could sit silently next to Rose. I had to sit next to Edward and listen to Jessica talk his ear off. Sometimes I found Edward staring at me like he was waiting for something to happen.

Emmett wasn't at school on Tuesday like he said he wouldn't be. It was his birthday, and I had made him some special cookies. In gym Edward sat with me on the bleachers as I tried to do my trig homework. It actually wasn't that complicated; it was just that Edward was so distracting.

"So what does Rosalie have planned?" he asked flipping through his own text book. He was referring to Rose's birthday surprise for Emmett.

"I don't know. She won't tell me," I shook my head erasing my answer.

"Okay but you must have some idea…"

"I have no clue."

Birthdays were usually spent at home with take out and a movie. Sometimes there was bowling, but Tuesdays were league tournament nights. So I really had no idea what Rose was planning, and there hadn't been too many surprises in my life. For once, I was excited, and it was because it wasn't about me.

"Really?" The tone of his voice made me look up at him. He sounded more confused than skeptical.

"What?"

"What?" he looked at me like he had been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to.

"Really?" I mocked him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I just thought that she would have told you since you're best friends and all…" he dropped his gaze to the book in my lap. "You did this wrong," he pointed to my paper.

"You're a terrible liar," I shooed his hand away and started erasing.

"You want to play twenty questions," he asked smirking at my growl.

After school, we took two cars to wherever the surprise was. Rose drove us in her car as Alice and Jasper followed in her yellow bug. From what I could tell we were heading to Port Angles and my mind went into overdrive trying to figure out where we were going. There could have been a new restaurant or maybe we were going to another movie. But Jaz, Alice, and I were _banned_ from the theater, though I doubt that anyone would still remember us. Well maybe not me anyway…

It wasn't until I saw the park when I had a good idea to where we were going. We passed by baseball fields, basketball courts, and swing sets before we turned down a small alley. Most people drive by not noticing that it's there partly because everyone goes to the new fun center on the north side of town. It was deserted except for the familiar police cruiser in the small parking lot.

"Where are we? Why is Bella's dad here?" Emmett sat up straighter in his seat looking around. "Oh my – Is that…"

Both Edward and Emmett flew out of the car as soon as Rose parked the car. They danced giddily as Dad unlocked the gate and Rose popped the trunk. Alice appeared next to my door as Jasper slammed the trunk closed holding some baseball bats.

"This is such a good idea," Alice smiled brightly. "They love baseball."

"Where did you get these?" Jasper asked Rose as we made our way toward the batting cages.

"The two older ones are Charlie's and the other two are theirs," she nodded to Edward and Emmett who were crammed into the little control booth with my dad.

"Thanks for inviting Dad," I told her as the boys scrammed into different cages.

"Yeah I thought he would like it, plus he has the keys," she nodded.

"And because you apparently need parental supervision on dates," I laughed as she nudged me.

After slipping in a quarter into the machine, Dad smiled taking his place by the plate. He'd played in high school and was even scouted by a few colleges, but he quit halfway through his last season when I happened, to get a second job. He's never let on about being disappointed about missing his chance, but I can't help but wonder… When I was younger, he used to bring me here with Jacob and we'd stay for hours. We even came here after it closed down with Jasper and Rose, and Dad still had his key from when he worked here in high school.

"This is perfect," Emmett smiled hugging her from behind and nuzzling into her hair. "Thank you." I walked away not wanting to intrude on their private moment. It was also strange to see Rose be so affectionate. I walked up to the chain-linked fence to watch Edward and the others.

Jasper tried showing Alice the _proper_ technique of the perfect swing, but it looked like he was cuddling more than teaching. On the first pitch, Alice swung and made contact with the ball but she squealed dropping the bat and shaking her hands.

"Bella your dad is a switch hitter?" Edward gaped staring at my dad as he moved over to the left side of the plate.

"Yeah," I shrugged my shoulders. "I can do it too."

"No way." His face fell slack. "I don't believe you."

"I can prove it." I opened the gate quickly and clung to the side of his cage careful of the machine still pitching. He backed out of the cage as I took my place on the right side of the plate. I took a couple of practice swings feeling the weight of the bat before hitting the next one. After I was satisfied with my swing, I moved to the other side of the plate and swung the bat a few times. It felt a little awkward at first until I swung at the next pitch. I stayed until the machine cut off, needing another quarter.

"I am so jealous," Edward balked at me.

"It just takes practice," I smiled at him hoping that this would annoy the hell out of him. I handed him the bat and watched as he placed another quarter into the machine and stood on the left side. I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing as he swung horribly at the first pitch and sent a small glare my way. It was nice to see him suffer a little bit…

We stayed at the batting cages for nearly two hours until Charlie decided it was time to go. Alice and Jasper had already left and when I turned to Rose's car, she and Emmett were driving away leaving me and Edward to ride in the cruiser…

Dad and I were invited to stay for dinner. We hadn't been able to get together before because Dad and Carlisle's schedules always clashed, and Esme and Emmett both insisted that we stayed for his birthday dinner. But Dad had to go into work; and Rose was there too…but as _Rosalie,_ Emmett's _girlfriend. _

"These are really good, Bella. Mom's never made these before," Emmett chewed as we sat around the kitchen table.

"That's because I'm allergic to mayonnaise," Esme told him as she grabbed more dirty plates.

"Mayonnaise?" he slurred, slowing his chewing. "There's mayonnaise in these?" he looked at the cookie in his hand breaking off a piece to examine it.

"Yep," Rose smiled at his reaction.

"Hmm…" he continued eating.

"I'll be right back," Edward excused himself from the table, and I couldn't help but watch him leave the room. I never understood how a butt could be cute before now…

"No stop," Rose giggled as Emmett whispered something to her as she played with the new watch on his wrist. I grabbed the rest of the dirty dishes from the table and set them on the counter by Esme.

"Do you need any help?"

"Not tonight," she smiled waving me off. "With this many, I'll just use the dishwasher. But you could go take a look around if you want, and maybe go see what Edward's doing…"

"Um, okay," I nodded. I hadn't had the chance to see the upstairs since the Cullens moved it. But it was just like the rest of the house. Some new things were mixed in with the old ones, and there was a fresh coat of paint on the walls. Peeking into the old guest room that Tilde had deemed mine, I discovered it was now Emmett's. When I got to the library, I could hear Edward talking to someone.

"No Jess, I believe you.... Yeah," he laughed. He was sitting on the old leather couch, leaning back with his forearm over his eyes. I knocked softly on his door standing nervously in the doorway as he looked up at me. "Okay, hey I gotta go. Okay. Okay. Okay... See you tomorrow. Okay. Bye."

"Sorry, Esme told me to come up here," I winced.

"No it's okay. It was nothing important; Jessica can talk to me tomorrow. It's fine," he said putting on his glasses and patting the spot next to him. "Please, sit."

"Today was fun," I mumbled closing my eyes and leaning back into the cushion. I didn't know if it was the familiarity of the room or maybe it was because I was tired, but I felt really comfortable. The black leather was old but still nice and soft, and it still had that same strange cigar smell.

"Yeah, do you know how Emmett and I met?"

I shook my head no, not knowing if he would understand my silence or not. I'd never thought about it. I would have just assumed they met through their parents.

"We used to play on the same little league team when we were nine. I didn't know anyone and I asked him to be my throwing partner and we've been stuck together ever since. That's actually how my dad and Esme met…"

"Wow that's amazing."

"Knock knock," Carlisle's voice startled me. I sat up jolting forward as I felt Edward scooting over away from me. I didn't realize how close we were sitting.

_Thank Goodness… they were just talking – and sitting – on the couch. We should get rid of the couch – But then there's the bed… We need to get rid of the bed too. _Carlisle's thoughts were chaotic and confusing and hard to understand.

"Edward do you still have my lucky tie? The one you wore to the dance?" he asked walking in and browsing around the room.

"You didn't wear a tie," I puzzled looking back at Edward.

"Yeah Dad, I didn't even borrow one from you…" Edward narrowed his eyes at him.

"Oh… well I guess it's not in here then," he said still looking around the room and I started to blush.

"So what's with the bracelet?" I asked Edward trying to fill the awkward silence and also trying not to stare at his glasses.

"What bracelet?"

"This one," I pulled on his forearm.

"It's not a bracelet. It's a wristband!" he argued pulling his arm from me.

_It's to cover up his tattoo,_ Carlisle thought leaving the room. It took several long seconds for that to sink in.

"You have a tattoo?!" I lunged for his wrist to see it. The air was knocked out of me as my back hit the floor and Edward fell on top of me. I felt his hand on my mouth as he whispered in my ear.

"Ssshh, did Emmett tell you that too?" he asked harshly.

"It wasn't him," I tried mumbling into his hand. Edward was always blaming Emmett. "It was Carlisle."

"He doesn't know about it."

"Yes he does."

"And what? He just told you?"

"Uh..." I didn't answer realizing I had just backed myself into a corner. Carlisle had told me… just not verbally.

"You read his mind," he said holding my gaze. My eyes widened in surprise. He knew?!

"You know?" I squeaked wondering how it was possible. Someone must have told him. "…Emmett!"

"It wasn't him. I figured it out on my own. You can read my mind if you want."

"I… can't…" I stammered.

"Because you can't read my mind," he finished. What the hell?

"How did you-"

"I'm very smart," he said seriously.

"I'm going to kill Emmett," I tried to move.

"I promise, he didn't tell me. Read his mind if you don't believe me."

"I can't…"

"Yes you can. I _know_ you can read-"

"I can't hear anything," I cut him off. "When you're crushing me!"

"Oh sorry." His eyes widened as he took in our position and rolled off of me.

"How long have you known? How did you figure it out? How do you know everything?" I fired at him, sitting up.

"Friday night… I had a dream, and everything just made sense," he breathed. My head started hurting and my chest was pounding. He'd only known since Friday… and he found out in a dream?! It must have been Dream Emmett… I'm sooo gonna kill him. Did Edward even know everything - _everything? _Wait he knew…?!

"You've known since Friday?" I asked trying to keep my voice even as he nodded silently. "The games – the questions. You've been goading me all this time? To what?! To aggravate the hell out of me? To make fun of me?"

"I didn't-"

"And just so you know, you're not the only person I can't read. In case you're _dream_ didn't tell you, I can't read girls either. That's why I think you're part… girl. So you're not all that special," I huffed.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted you to tell me." His face was soft and his eyes were sad, and I had the urge to hug him. "I'm sorry."

After a few minutes of silence, I sighed, "We're supposed to be friends, and I feel like I'm always yelling at you…"

"We could start over again," he suggested.

"Yeah but we can't just _start_ _over_ ever other week."

"Well maybe now that I know everything, this won't seem so hard."

"But you don't know everything," I told him as my eyes started to prickle. I was going to need a good cry after this.

"Will you tell me?" he asked hopeful. "…Now? Please…"

"Yes," I laughed wiping my eyes. "I don't understand why or how, but I can read guys' minds ever since I was born. I can't read females or you. And for some reason when I touch you, I can't read anyone or hear their thoughts. It's silent…" I watched his face as he took it all in. His glasses made his eyes greener, and his nose twitched when he scratched his chin.

"So… if I do this," he said placing his hand on my wrist. "You can't hear anything?

"Nothing."

"And when I let go, you can hear everything? ...except girls... Oooh, that's why you asked me if I had a vagina," he laughed. "Hey can you see if Carlisle will let me drive his car?"

"That's not how it works," I laughed at his eagerness. "I'm not a psychic."

"So how does it work?"

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain…"

* * *

AN: I have valid excuses for being so late with the update, but I'm tired of real life and I bet you are too – you don't need to hear about mine. But I feel really bad and extremely guilty.

Yeah, I know. THREE weeks and all I had was this thing. I don't like this chapter because there's so much to process or too much or not enough. Something's wrong.

But I AM super happy that you guys like the EPOV. I think I might possibly have another…

*switch hitter- is a baseball term for when a batter has the ability to hit from either side of the plate.

Exciting note: I'm going to Hogwarts! (in Orlando) in 40-ish something days…

**Just so you know**: updates might be slow like this until early May. School has to come first : (

THANKS FOR READING!!


	13. For Some Reason

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

AN: Beware - cute and fluffiness ahead.

* * *

**For Some Reason  
Chapter 12**

"Let me see it, pleeeeeaasssse," I begged.

"Bella it's really personal."

"Personal? Are you frickin kidding me?! I told you my secrets and answered all of your questions!"

"I'm just not ready…"

"I am not talking to you anymore," I dropped my head against the kitchen table.

"Bellllaaa, don't pout," Edward whined.

For the past few days, everyone had been coming over to my house to hang out after school, but since today was Friday, I was alone with Edward. Rose and Emmett went to Port Angeles for their first real date – one that wasn't chaperoned – and Jasper and Alice were doing something somewhere. I didn't really know what they were up to, and part of me didn't want to.

I stayed silent closing my eyes. I could hear Edward sighing heavily and his fingers tapping against the table. Edward had taken the whole curse thing really well. Too well. We talked about the first few weeks of school, the incident as the movie theater, and my situation with the wolves. I explained everything that he asked about, and he just accepted it and was eager to know more. Neither of us mentioned Mike Newton or gym.

But when I asked him about his tattoo, he wouldn't tell me. I tried Emmett and their parents, but Edward always intervened. When I would ask Emmett, he'd clam up and start thinking in Spanish. I tried Carlisle, but Edward was there clinging onto my arm so that I couldn't hear anyone. I even tried calling Esme on the phone pretending that I wanted a certain recipe, but Edward answered the phone and wouldn't let me talk to her offering to look up the recipe himself. It was ridiculous…

"Really Bella? Are you even still breathing?" he asked, obviously rolling his eyes at me. I smiled into the table and I was glad most of my hair was hiding my face.

"Aah!" I jumped when something cold touched my neck. I sat up to Edward with a huge grin on his face leaning across the table. "Your fingers are freezing!"

"I had to make sure you were still alive," he grinned at my scowl. "Okay… I'll show you if you promise to do something for me…"

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you. It's a surprise."

"Of course it is," I scoffed rubbing my forehead. When I looked back up at him, his smile was gone and he looked somber.

"Do I give you headaches?"

"No actually, but you're a pain in the ass," I told him as he fought a smile.

"It's a surprise, but your dad gave me permission to take you there."

"No he didn't," I shook my head.

"I can prove it," he pulled out his phone and suddenly it was ringing loudly for both of us to hear.

"Edward?" Dad's voice sounded from it.

"Hello Chief Swan, Bella needs affirmation that I'm allowed to drive her to Port Angeles."

"Port Angeles?" I questioned.

"Bella? I've given him permission, but he's not allowed to just drag you around. You don't have to go if you don't want to, but I wouldn't have agreed to it if I didn't think you would enjoy it."

"Alright, thanks Dad. I'll see you tonight then," I sighed, knowing I had lost. I looked back up expecting to see a cheeky smirk on his face, but he was calm, waiting for my decision. "Fine, but I have one condition."

"Of course you do," he smiled resting his chin in his hand.

"I get to drive."

"But you don't even know where we're even going. And it's not like I can kidnap you or anything," he object.

"You still could. You could drug me up and sell me into some sex trafficking thing or cut me up into tiny pieces and blend me into a human smoothie."

"Where do you get this stuff?" he asked incredulously. "I know you don't watch TV."

"But I still watch the news…"

"Fair enough."

It took us an hour and twenty minutes to get to Port Angeles much to Edward's dismay. He fretted and stressed that we were going to be late, and he hadn't realized that I was going to drive five miles under the speed limit. He'd shut up when I lied and told him I needed silence to concentrate on the roads - though I had been driving since I was thirteen because Dad said that I needed to know in case of an emergency. I could probably drive with my eyes closed.

"Take a left here…"

"Why are you even here tonight?" I asked him, carefully turning the corner.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you have something exciting to do?"

"What?" he sounded confused.

"You don't have to hang out with me just because we're the fifth wheels. I wouldn't mind if you wanted to go hang out with Jessica or someone else," I told him. He shouldn't have to hand out with me because he felt guilty or that he had to.

"Are you – you are – Bella," he groaned. "Listen to me, we're friends. I'm your friend and you're my friend. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be, and this _is_ going to be exciting."

"Okay," I answered quietly to his strong response.

"It's up on the right… get ready to turn… right here," he pointed for me to turn into the parking lot of the movie theater.

"Um… you know I'm banned from here, right?" I asked unsure of this _surprise_.

"Trust me it's okay. Plus they wouldn't stop a pretty girl like you," he said opening the door and jumping out. I sat motionless for a moment not sure if I'd heard him correctly.

"Wait a minute," I rolled down my window as Edward walked around to my door.

"What now?"

"We're here. Show me."

"You have to get out of the truck first then I'll show you," he said pulling on the locked door handle. "Bella…" he nearly growled.

"Show me first," I smirked at him. He leaned forward against the truck resting his hands above the window. I gulped at our close proximity and my breathing quickened.

"Alright," he pushed off the truck and pulled the snaps of the _wristband. _He held up the piece of leather and tossed it through the window turning on his heel. Wait… where was he going? "Come catch me!"

"Wait! Wait for me," I yelled grumbling to myself as I quickly turned the lever to roll up the window. I flung myself out of the truck and hurried to where Edward stood waiting.

"Happy?" he asked holding out his right arm. I held his wrist to look at it carefully as we continued walking.

On the underside of his wrist, there was a coat of arms. One that I had seen before on Emmett's back. It was relatively large for his wrist, and the black and grays stood out against his pale skin. A decorative lion, shamrocks, and a hand.

"Would you like something from the concession stand?" Edward's voice woke me from my daze. We were sitting a dimly lit room with people filing in and out.

"What? No thank you. How did we get in here?" I had completely zoned out and I didn't even remember buying the tickets.

"Your feet did this strange thing called walking, and I had these pieces of paper called tickets that allowed us admission to this room," he smiled.

"Don't be a smartass. I don't remember buying tickets. What movie are we seeing?"

"I bought the tickets a few days ago. So many questions about the movie. I thought you'd be babbling a million about the tattoo," he laughed.

"Oh… right. I've seen this before, but bigger on Emmett…"

"Size doesn't always matter," he shot back leaning away from me.

"Okay I'm just saying – never mind I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, but will you tell me more about it?" I asked nicely.

"It's the Cullen crest. My dad had it tattooed on his shoulder on his 21st birthday. He was drunk, but at least it wasn't something stupid like a stethoscope. And last year, Esme asked Em and me if we thought she should get a tattoo. We went with her and she signed the permission slips for us to get one too. We all got the same thing – just in different places. Emmett's on his shoulder, mine on my wrist, and Esme… well we're not exactly sure. She asked us to leave the room," he winced.

"And you kept it from your dad?"

"Well Esme had told us then that it was just our little secret, but apparently even though she wanted it to be a surprise, she'd discussed it with him first. He'd agreed, but he pretended not to know about it. He got a few laughs when we thought we were being sneaky…"

"Did it hurt?"

"Uh yeah, but then my whole arm went numb and it kind of tickled."

"So are you still going to wear the wristband?"

"I don't know. Maybe… probably… yeah," he thought it over.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Out of habit I guess. Will other people make a big deal about it like you did?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You were the one to make it a big deal by not showing it to me in the first place," I scoffed at him. "So what movie is this?"

"Guess," he smiled. I hated guessing games with Edward.

"_Face Punch_." It was the first thing to pop into my head because it was the only movie that I knew was playing now. Guys at school had been talking about it for weeks. "Wait no, that's rated-R…"

"Wait, what does that have to do with it?" Edward stopped me.

"Because you bought the tickets, and you have to be seventeen to get into rated-R movies."

"Who said I wasn't seventeen?"

"Well how old are you?"

"Seventeen!" he laughed.

"How long have you been seventeen?"

"Um… awhile."

"Ugh, just tell me when your birthday is. You know mine!" I pointed out. "How else am I going to know when to bake you cookies?"

"June 20th," he nodded quickly.

"And that was a big secret because…?" I asked him.

"Because I should be a senior now, and I don't like people thinking that I failed a grade or wondering why I'm a year behind. And I don't like telling people that I was sick when I was little…"

"You shouldn't worry about what people think about you. Life is a lot easier that way… look how I turned out," I laughed humorlessly.

"You're right. You're amazing," he said right as the lights dimmed. Again I wasn't sure if I hadn't heard him correctly.

"Oh sorry," I whispered letting go of his arm. I hadn't realized why my head was so quiet.

"No it's okay. You can't hear anything right?" he whispered back grabbing my hand, our hands cupped together. I was stunned as I sat there holding his hand. My own felt small and alive. The contact made whole body tingle.

The opening scenes of the movie pulled my attention to the screen, and I gasped at the Mr. Potato Head dressed as a bank robber. How was this possible? How did he do this? My mind couldn't comprehend it. Edward pulled me out of my seat and led me out of the dark theater as the credits were rolling. The two hours went by fast. I had been entranced the entire time. When I saw the familiar security guard in the lobby, I hid my face in Edward's side. His eyes danced over us before moving onto the next person.

"So what did you think?" Edward asked smiling down at me, and my breathing hitched. Edward was way too beautiful from this close up.

"How did – that was – I'm confused. How did you do this?"

"Oh I didn't. I wish I did though, but it was a lucky coincidence. There's gonna be a third one next summer and the studio's released the first two for promotion," he shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, they're showing the second one too?"

"Yeah, we have to be back in our seats in ten minutes."

"What?" I knitted my eyes.

"It's a double feature," he handed me a ticket stub that read _Toy Story 1 & 2. _

"Thank you, this was a nice surprise," I smiled at him.

"Edward?" Jessica appeared next to us.

"Oh hey Jessica, what's up?"

"Nothing much, we're all here to see _Face Punch_," she thumbed behind her at a large group of kids from school. Edward looked that way and her eyes flicked down to my hand, still clasped in Edward's. My hand felt heavy as I let go of Edward and tried to pull it away, but he just gripped it tighter.

"Oh, Bella and I are seeing _Toy Story_."

"I totally wanted to see it, but I was overruled," she pouted.

"Hmm, well we have to get back in there. See you at school," he nodded pulling me away as she mumbled a goodbye. "Did you want anything?" he asked suggesting to the concession stand.

"No I'm good, thanks."

"So what's your beef with Jessica?" he asked as we settled back into our seats.

"What? I have nothing against her," I shook my head.

"Liar."

"There's nothing. We just don't get along well. You know I don't get along well with that many people," I raised an eyebrow at him. It wasn't that I didn't get along with people, they just didn't want to get along with me…

"Uh huh, right. Tell me."

"No, I don't want to," I blushed shaking my head, trying to rid the flash of a horrible memory.

"So there IS something to tell," he grinned.

"You are…" I gritted my teeth.

"Handsome. Clever. Curious?" His smile grew.

"Awful," I turned away so he couldn't see my face. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from smiling.

I enjoyed the second movie as much as the first one, and I was still amazed that he did this. I had only briefly mentioned my attempt of seeing _Toy Story _when I was little, but he remembered. And he was still held my hand – never letting me go once.

The next morning I found Rosalie on my couch playing Nintendo.

"How was your date?" Rose stared at the television.

"What date?" I blinked confused, not fully awake yet.

"Edward took you to the movies… that date?"

"That wasn't a date, and he practically forced me to go. Plus I don't like Edward like _that_," I corrected her pouring myself a bowl of cereal.

"I know you're initials are BS and all, but you can tell me the truth. I know I'm not Jasper, but I understand things too. Well I'm learning..."

"Rose, I promise. I don't like him in that way," I told her. She watched at me for a moment before continuing the game mumbling something about the Nile river.

Though I had to admit, I found Edward very, very attractive. Even a blind person would, but he just wasn't my type. I had accepted that I would live and be alone for the rest of my life; I wasn't too upset about it. If I got lonely, I would get thirty-seven cats and be that crazy cat lady of Forks.

"Did Dad come home?" I chewed sitting next to her.

"No he's at work. He texted me to come over until you woke up."

"Oh…" Dad had been working later and longer lately, and I didn't think he was just over at Sue's all the time. "Emmett's here," I said turning my head to the front door.

"He is?!" Rose jumped up and hurried to look out the window as she straightened her clothes and fixed her hair. I laughed when she looked back at me disappointed and confused.

"Made you look," I choked on my cereal.

"Bella Swan," her cheeks reddened as she stomped her foot. "I'm going to get you."

"Unh uh." Part of me panicked as the rest was still laughing. I popped up from the couch and ran behind it as she chased me. She gave the meanest pinches and it was best to try to avoid them. I escaped behind the couch and hurried up the stairs, slamming my door closed before slipping into the hallway bathroom. I tried my best to stay silent as Rose ran up the stairs. As soon as she closed the door behind her, I banged my knee on the door jam running down the stairs to the back door. I walked around the side of the house as my breathing slowed and I started regretting coming outside. The shorts I had worn to bed were one of my smaller pairs and my legs and feet were freezing. I should just have taken the pinch.

_Bella? What is she doing? _I looked up from the ground and found Emmett and Edward getting out their car. I waved feebly at them.

"What are you doing?" Emmett called over. Edward looked me over and suddenly I felt very naked.

"Um, running from Rose," I told him realizing I should warn her that Emmett was actually here. _Shit! _I turned and ran to the front door as Rose flung the screen door open.

"Bella!" she ran down the steps.

"Rose wait!" I shouted trying to stop her as she collided with me, and we fell to the ground. "Emmett's here," I groaned.

"What?" she grumbled.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt, Sunshine?" Emmett's voice sounded over us.

"Emmett?" She looked up at him with wide eyes before she started giggling, her cheeks red. "You're here..."

"Sunshine?" I questioned at her.

"Shut it," she grunted at me as she sat up and brushed some of the mud off before leaning over to pinch me.

"Ow!" I rubbed my arm as she smirked at me and Emmett pulled her up. She started explaining what happened to Emmett as they made their way to the Hale house.

"Um, are you okay?" Edward asked with a blank face leaning over.

"Yeah I think so. I'll be sore tomorrow though," I sat up stretching out my muscles.

"Good because that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen!" Edward choked out with laughter. His cheeks were red and his eyes were watering.

"This is so embarrassing," I grumbled wiping the mud off my hands.

"Is it more embarrassing than the Jessica thing?"

"Why do you always remember the things that I don't want you to remember?"

"Because I remember everything that you tell me Bella," he said helping me up.

"Oh that's so sweet," I told him sweetly before wrapping my arms around him for a hug hoping most of the mud would rub onto him.

"Ew Bella…" He tensed as I pressed most of my body against him.

"You asked for it," I laughed pulling away to see that his shirt was dirty.

"No, this is me asking for it." He leaned down and pulled me out from under my knees, picking me up.

"No put me down." My arms wrapped around his neck so he wouldn't drop me.

"Nope… man your legs are freezing," he complained rubbing the side of my thigh, walking up the porch steps.

"Err thanks," I mumbled when he put me down in the kitchen.

"No problem, now hurry up and go put some clothes on. I have something to show you."

"Okay," I surrendered. I didn't feel like protesting… Apparently holding my hand wasn't the only way he could make my body shiver.

I showered off the mud quickly and then shrugged into a pair of jeans and a warm flannel shirt. Edward was in the kitchen standing where I left him, staring at something on the refrigerator.

"I have this picture in my room… I thought it was Esme," he pointed to a black and white photograph of me. I was five and I was sitting on the leather sofa in library of the Masen house. Tilde had taken it while I was reading _The Secret Garden. _It was one of the few pictures of my self that I actually liked.

"Yeah well if you look close enough, you'll see my name everywhere in that house."

"Wait, your middle name is Marie, right?" he whipped his head at me. "I figured it out… ha! I can't wait to tell Emmett," he smiled at me.

"What's going on?"

"You're Imes. They're initials. They're your initials. Ever since we moved here, we saw IMS everywhere, and not even at our house but around town," he explained. I vaguely remember Emmett talking about it. "It was sort of a big mystery for us. We were trying to figure who Imes was…"

"Oh… and it took you how long Nancy Drew?"

"Five months," he thought out loud.

"Five months? That's an insult to Nancy," I smirked.

"Oh be quiet, let's go," he rolled his eyes at me as I followed him out the door. He walked halfway around my house and stopped to look at me. "What, no interrogation today?" he laughed.

"No I trust you," I shrugged.

"Okay, well I actually need you to lead us to the meadow, since I have no idea where I'm going," he waved me forward.

We were silent as we walked the back trail, and my mind kept replaying what Rose had said earlier. Had last night been a date? He'd asked my father for permission, we went to the movies, and there was handholding… No it wasn't a date. First, he didn't ask me out, and second, he didn't like me in that way, and third, I didn't like him like that either…

At least, I didn't think so.

"Okay wait," Edward stopped me. When I looked back at him, he had an excited smile on his face which made his eyes more a vibrant green. "Close your eyes. No peeking."

"Alright," I nodded closing my eyes as he stood behind me inching me forward slowly.

"Okay so I told Esme that I found the meadow," he spoke softly in my left ear. "And she started telling me all these stories about it. She told me how her mother used to garden everyday and there used to be flowers everywhere. It was her favorite place in the entire world, so I figured you had similar sentiments.

"I cheated, but I think you'll still like it… Open your eyes."

Color was the first thing I noticed, and it wasn't green. Purple, white, and yellow wildflowers splattered the meadow except for the small area in the middle where we stood.

"How did you…?" I stammered. He was right, I did like it.

"I bought this bag of seed mix for shade and all I had to do was throw it around and flowers would bloom. It took a month though, but I just had to wait it out. So you like it?" he asked nervously.

"I love it. You did this for me?"

"Yep," he grinned proud of himself. He sat down pulling me with him and we fell into comfortable silence.

He did this for me. He'd been planning this for a month – way before he found out about my curse. He took me to the movies and held my hand so I could watch it in silence. He stood up to Mike Newton in a locker room full of witnesses, and he still wanted to be my friend after everything. I liked Edward. He was a nice person; he cared about his family; he was beautiful, smart, funny, and annoyed the hell out me sometimes. My skin tingled when he touched me, and butterflies fluttered in my stomach when he looked at me.

I really liked Edward in _that_ way.

I was screwed.

* * *

AN: I think if you go back through the chapters and reread them – basically every time Bella said "for some reason" it was because she liked Edward... I think.

Yeah so I've been planning this chapter since last October… when Toy Story 1 and 2 came out again for two weeks. What is it now April? May? Oh and I totally messed up the dates with the movie. Toy Story came out in 1995 and Bella would only have been three, but I said she was five earlier… it was actually me who may have 5 or 6 at the time. Whoops…

And his tattoo was just the Cullen crest. Sorry I didn't come up with anything super cool and exciting, but I like how they have their own piece of jewelry in the movies… but my Cullens have tattoos.

Also my story _Passing Notes_ has been nominated for "The Fanfiction You Couldn't Stop Reading" award in the Class of 2010 Awards at the "Twilight All Human Fanfiction Awards"… I know right? But I'm supposed to encourage you guys to go nominate for all your favorites. There's a bunch of categories like "the fanfiction that had you crying with laughter" and "the fanfiction with the best ending"... hint hint on that one... wow i cant believe i just did that.

So go nominate your favorites and there's a link to the FF account for the site under my favorite authors.

I'm totally flattered and a little bit embarrassed because I doubt I'll win, but thank you. I'm going to **post a very fluffy outtake** for _Passing Notes_ to let you know when voting starts.

THANKS FOR READING!!


	14. Trick or Treat or Revelation?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

AN: I just want to say thank you to all of you. I've been getting really nice reviews for all of my stories, so I just wanted to say thanks. It does mean a lot to me. :)

* * *

**Trick or Treat or Revelation?**  
**Chapter 13**

"So what are you doing for Halloween?" Edward asked me as he sat down at the lunch table.

"Movie marathon," I nodded. "Well I think. That's what we usually do, but I don't know what they'll be doing though." I waved to the two couples in front of us.

"Do you want to go trick-or-treating with me?"

"Oh I'm not allowed," I told him.

"Your dad won't let you?"

"Come on, Forks has to be one of America's least dangerous towns," Emmett gawked. "If not the smallest."

"Oh that's not why," Rose shook her head. "I'm not allowed either, but not for what you're thinking."

"Why then?"

"Hey Edward, which should I dress up as, sexy pirate or sexy prisoner?" Jessica pulled on his elbow showing him a catalog. "The party is tomorrow night, and I still don't have a costume!"

"Um won't you get cold wearing one of those?" he asked plainly. I turned away hiding my smile. She would be freezing wearing something like that – short and skimpy.

"Not if I'm going to be dancing all night," she nudged his shoulder playfully.

"I don't know," he told her as she turned away asking Lauren.

"When we were twelve, Lauren showed up at my house as a Playboy Bunny. Dad nearly had a heart attack," I spoke softly.

"Charlie tried to tell us that he thought it was unsafe and that he needed us to stay home and hand out candy," Rose laughed.

"Yeah, but Dad let me go anyway with Jaz because I worked so hard on my costume."

"That was the only year you guys went trick-or-treating," Rose laughed. "He wasn't going to risk the chance of you going in something risqué."

"What'd you go as?" Edward asked looking amused.

"I was Pippi Longstocking."

"I was a sexy pirate," Jaz snickered.

"But you can come over to my house if you want," I told Edward. "If you don't have any other plans…"

"Sounds good to me," he smiled before being pulled away again by Jessica.

Everyone else was talking about scary movies they've seen and I tuned out not having much to add. _Jaws _was probably one of the only scary movies that I liked… That anxious-nervous feeling seeped back into me as I rested my head in my hands. Was inviting Edward over to my house even a good idea? Because I found that the more I hung around Edward, the more I liked him… and I didn't want to stop.

It had been three weeks since my secret revelation, and I think it'd gotten worse. Now that it was conscious, it felt like it was written all over my face for everyone to see. I shouldn't like Edward. Not like that. Edward was just my friend, and I was just his friend. He wouldn't – couldn't – shouldn't ever like me in that way. He deserved better than me. I would only drag him down. Plus he would be leaving Forks after next year to go to college, and I've never thought about leaving Forks. Even if I did try or tell or whatever about my feelings, there was the fat chance that he would reject me, ruining our friendship.

In the end, any attempt would be pointless.

After school, everyone came over to my house like usual, and I was nervous because Alice wanted to borrow something from my closet… I didn't know what she was thinking. Obviously - because she's a girl, but Alice was never afraid to show disdain for my lack of style or enthusiasm for fashion.

"I don't know what you could want Alice," I pulled open my closet door.

"Actually I just wanted to talk because we haven't really hung out in a while, you know just the two of us…" she said plopping down on my bed.

"Oh, what did you want to talk about?" I was surprised and happy at the same time. Alice wasn't going to destroy my closet.

"Edward."

"Oh …" I felt my face fall immediately as I sat down next to her.

"Why didn't you tell me you went on a date?" she exploded with excitement as she bobbed up and down.

"Because we never went on one. What are you talking about?"

"Please, you guys have been flirting for forever."

"Flirting?" I blinked. It sounded so foreign. Flirting? I don't think I was programmed with that kind of stuff.

"You know, smiling, laughing, and all the touching…" she smiled brightly.

"Oh Alice, we're not – we aren't – we can't," I tried telling her.

"Why am I always the last one to know everything?" she pouted with a grin plastered on her face.

Oh shit. I never told Alice. I completely forgot that she didn't know about _everything_. She had no idea about the curse and why I could never be with Edward. Why he could never like me. How would she react? Would I lose her as a friend? I only just got her… I could feel the tears starting to form and my throat starting close. The air was so thick and I needed to get out.

"Bella what's wrong?" Alice looked at me worried. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I popped up from my bed heading for the stairs. No I wasn't okay. Nothing seemed to be okay.

"I get first dibs!"

"I play winner."

"It's my turn!"

"Someone needs to tell Alice," I breathed heavily reaching the living room. Everyone was gathered around the TV and had gone silent, staring at me.

"Tell me what?" Alice asked as I walked out the back door, pulling the leather strap of the purse over my head.

"Hey where are you going?" Edward's called behind me. I stopped reluctantly not turning to face him.

"Have you ever just needed to have a good cry? To just let everything out?" I asked waiting for his response. "Of course you don't," I shook my head

"No no, I understand. Do you want me to come with you?" he sounded right behind me. When I turned around to face him, I found him standing way too close.

"No, maybe another time…"

"Okay, if you don't feel like walking back you can just go to my house. I'll give you a ride home." Then he hugged me – really hugged me. With a squeeze and everything. I could feel his muscled arms and chest, and he smelled woodsy cinnamon and so good.

"Alright," I choked.

I didn't even make it halfway to the meadow. I sat down on a fallen log and just cried my heart out. Why did the gods do this to me? Why couldn't I just be normal?

I wasn't sure how long I was there until I heard him, but I definitely heard him before I saw him.

_Got to be the strangest girl ever. Who goes out into the middle of the woods to cry?_

I stifled my sobs waiting for Jacob to appear. He stomped along the regular path and would have passed by me if he hadn't glanced out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey," he stopped.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked, my voice thick and groggy.

"What are _you_ doing out here?" he snorted.

"Knitting."

"Oh make me something please," he grinned. "But not those mitten things. I don't like my fingers feeling trapped," he shook his head, wiggling his fingers and I cracked a smile.

"Life sucks."

"Yeah tell me about it," he scoffed rolling his eyes.

"I like him. A lot." It felt strange to say it out loud, but I felt better. Lighter.

"We're talking about the beautiful boy right?" he asked lightly.

"Yeah, the beautiful boy," I had to laugh. Sometimes it was eerie that we thought so much alike. Maybe it was because I grew up with him or maybe Edward just had the same effect on everyone.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Everything is the problem. We wouldn't work out even if he did like me like that."

"You're just scared."

"No, I'm not," I quickly shook my head. Yes I was.

"Bella, if we're talking about the same guy, trust me he likes you."

"Yeah right," I rolled my eyes.

"Then why was he sitting on your back porch looking heartbroken."

"He's just worried. He's a good friend."

"Why won't you trust me on this one thing?"

"Why won't you listen to me about Paul?"

"Because he's not-"

"He is, and he likes you," I cut him off. "Your gaydar is just broken or something."

"You don't even have gaydar," he laughed. "This is ridiculous… you know if my gaydar was broken, then I hope that beautiful boy and Paul are both gay."

"His name is Edward, and he's not gay," I told him feeling a little irked. Beautiful boy was a term of endearment when I said it, but it sounded too weird coming from Jake.

"Okay then, what's the difference between Paul and Edward? What evidence do you have that Paul is gay?"

"He's never had a girlfriend, he can't stop staring at you, and he kind of hates me because he thinks you like me and we have a thing," I listed off.

"Just because he's never had a girlfriend doesn't make him gay. He's just shy; he doesn't hate you," he argued.

"This is dumb. I'm just going to tell Paul myself."

"I'll kill you if you do, and then I'll tell Edward that you loooove him," he mocked me.

"Fine I will tell Edward about my feelings right after you tell Paul."

"Alright," he nodded.

"No, you have to tell Paul about your feelings for him," I corrected myself.

"Bellaaaaa…"

"Honestly Jacob, you should tell the other guys too… They're your friends – your brothers. They deserve the truth. I know they'll care about you forever no matter what happens. Maybe if you tell all of them, then Paul will step up and admit his feelings for you…"

"Okay," he sighed. "I'll work on it."

"Call me right after you do it too," I grinned.

"Why?" he eyed me skeptically.

"Because I can't wait to tell you _I told you so_."

It wasn't until when we got back to the house that I remembered Alice. Had they told her everything? Did they explain everything right? Did she hate me now? But the house was deserted. Everyone had left leaving no trace that they had even been here. I had expected – well I didn't really know what I expected but not an empty house.

Jacob stayed until Dad got home who insisted that he stay for dinner, but Jacob lied about homework and a list of chores. Then Dad and I actually went out for dinner to the diner where I couldn't take my eyes off of the jukebox remembering when Edward danced with me. Was dancing flirting? Or did Edward just like dancing? Why can't life be simple?

The next morning I woke up late and Jasper and Rose had already left for school. I'd always been a heavy sleeper, but my body just knew that I didn't want to go to school. I would have to face everyone sooner or later. Jaz and Rose were familiar with my crying days, but not Edward and Emmett. And Alice? I trusted her enough not to tell anyone, but I wasn't sure how she would react to me now.

I didn't see her until lunchtime outside the cafeteria. She was standing off to the side watching the doors as if she was waiting for something. I didn't know if I should confront her or pretend that I hadn't seen her and just walk into the lunch room or maybe I could have just avoided the entire thing by hiding out in the restrooms. Before I could make a decision, Alice flicked her eyes in my direction and started towards me. I guess she was confronting me…

"Hey, can we talk?" she asked not looking at me. She kept looking around at the people walking passed us.

"Sure…" I nodded as she led me outside to the student courtyard. It was raining heavily, but Alice had brought a large umbrella for us to share.

"I want you to tell me. I want to hear you say it." She finally looked at me.

"I can read minds…" I explained. I gave her every little detail I could think of whether she wanted to know or not. I even told her about Edward. That I couldn't read him – not that I liked him. I wasn't ready to admit that to our little circle of friends, especially when it included Edward.

"That's what they told me…" she mumbled, clutching onto the umbrella. "I'm sorry. I didn't believe them at first, and I got mad because I thought it was a joke. You wouldn't believe how deep Emmett and Edward can get into their pranks. And then I thought it was a stupid cover up story hiding something bad like that you were rape or molested, and then I found out that actually happened to Rosalie… It was a long night." She shook her head and gave me an awkward smile.

"Thank you Alice," I smiled feeling oddly grateful.

"What?"

"You are the first person to have a normal response. A normal person wouldn't have believed me or anyone else right away."

"How did everyone else react?"

"Rose was skeptical until I started repeating what Jasper was thinking. I scared him at first but they accepted it easily enough. Then Emmett and Edward were little geniuses and found out on their own," I scoffed. That still bothered me.

"So I'm the last one to know?"

"Yeah, but only a handful of people know including you guys, and I don't plan on telling anyone else ever again. You shouldn't feel bad. I mean, I haven't even told Jake, and he's like my brother," I tried reassuring her.

"Nah, I feel honored kind of," she giggled. "I promise I won't tell anyone. I don't think anyone would believe me anyways. My parents would probably put me in some asylum; they would love the excuse."

"Okay good, let's go. I'm starving."

"Wait… do guys really compare our breasts to fruit?"

With the exception of a few more questions like the boob-fruit one, Alice seemed to be her normal self and didn't treat me any different. Though I suppose she had always treated me like a semi-pariah which wasn't a bad thing. I liked my personal space and I was not a very open person.

"So Edward, are you going to the party tonight in Port Angeles? We're pretty tight with Irina who's throwing the party and she always saves us the best liquor," Lauren leaned over Jessica, leering at Edward. It was kind of disgusting, and from the kick I received from Rose, it was written all over my face. I glared at her as she smirked at me.

"Um sorry no, I've got plans," he smiled nervously at her. His arm brushed up against mine as he subtly shifted away from her, and the scowl on my face disappeared.

"Hey Emmett," Sara M. appeared next to me, giving him a flirty smile. She was a one of the most popular seniors and her beauty could almost rival Rosalie's. "Me and Sara B. wanted to know if you wanted to go to Club Gross with us. Don't worry, we can get you in. We know a guy…"

I looked over at Rose who was glaring at her tray and stabbing her slice of pizza with her fork. It had been her idea to keep her and Emmett's relationship a secret, and Emmett was willing because he loved her even though it killed him. He wanted everyone to know that Rosalie Hale was off the market and that he was her guy. But I wasn't supposed to know that. The love part because he hasn't actually told her yet.

"Sorry no thanks, I already have a date," he nodded as his eyes darted to Rose then to me. _I hate this. _

"Oh… with who?" Sara M. pouted disappointed.

"With me – his girlfriend," Rose growled at her.

"Oh I didn't know," she stepped back, her cheeks red.

"Stand up," Rose snapped at Emmett as she stood from her seat. He looked at her with wide eyes listening to her. She leaned toward him, planted both of her palms on his cheeks, and pulled his lips to hers.

"Oh. My. God." Lauren gasped as the entire room started in whispers.

"Uh um," Rose cleared her throat sitting back down. Emmett looked stunned blinking down at us. "Sit down," she slapped his leg and he smiled following her order.

"I love you," he said looking at her with a huge grin plastered on his face. She inhaled sharply and gave him a questioning look, but he continued to grin at her and a small smile formed on her face.

Everything was different after school. No one came over to my house, and they all had disappeared. I knew Jasper and Alice were planning on going to a party, but I didn't know about the others. We'd never made plans, but I just assumed they would come over…

I was bored and lonely and I hated that I had become too dependent on them. I used to be able to spend a night alone, and it not affect me at all. Now I hated being alone for two minutes. I needed to start distancing myself away from everyone so that eventually when they leave Forks, it won't hurt so much. Especially Edward. I needed to start that today so I wouldn't be -

The knocking on the back door interrupted my thoughts. I tiptoed to the window unsure who it was because I couldn't hear anything. I didn't know any women who'd show up at my backdoor randomly. Well maybe possibly Sue… I saw his beautifully messy hair first, and ideas about dissociating from Edward were forgotten.

"Edward?" I opened the door and he smiled sheepishly at me.

"Sorry I would have been here sooner, but I sorta got lost. I took the trail from the meadow trying to do it from memory…"

"Edward what if you had gotten lost?" I scolded him.

"I just told you _I did_, but I got here. I'm okay," he rolled his eyes.

"What am I going to do with you?" I sighed chewing on my lip. Even Annoyed Edward was attractive.

"Watch scary movies at my house," he smirked. "Come on, hurry up."

He didn't have to tell me twice. I left the large bowl of candy out on the front porch and a quick note for Dad if he came home. I led Edward to his house through the back trail and I couldn't help but notice how he casually grabbed my hand. I wondered if he knew that I rarely heard anyone else out here.

We only watched one movie that was for sure, going to give me nightmares. A man that could enter your dreams and terrorize you? I think Edward could tell I was freaked out because he suggested that we go to his room. I think my cheeks were actually caught on fire when Carlisle came out of his study and told Edward to leave the door open. We ended up laying on the floor sleepily and listening to music, and Edward would tell me about the different songs and why he liked them.

"Tell me something that I don't know," Edward mumbled.

"Elephants are the only animal with four knees, and they can't even jump."

"Really? Wait - no tell me something about you," he kicked me.

"I like bubble baths. I think it's the girliest thing about me."

"Hmm," he shifted a little.

"What about you?"

"No, I haven't taken one since I was ten, I think..."

"I meant-"

"I know what you meant," he turned his head, grinning at me. "Um, I started playing the piano when I was six because I knew my mother played. I think I wanted to be like her or have a piece of her or um something," he cleared his throat.

"Wow," I whispered. "You were deep for a six year old." I tried keeping a straight face as he sent me a glare.

"Thanks,' he rolled his eyes. "I just don't know that much about her. Me and my dad are very close, but we just don't… I'm afraid to bring her up."

"Sorry," I felt really bad for mocking him. "Your mom was really pretty, and you have the same nose. That's kind of strange, and both of you do that tapping thing," I said motioning with my finger.

"What?" His eyes widened at me, and I realized that I needed to explain.

"Your dad thinks her about every time he looks at you. I can't control it, but I get glimpses of her. I mean he's obviously, deeply in love with Esme, but he still loves your mom and-"

"Thank you," Edward cut me off reaching for my hand. He grasped it with both of his and his thumbs started to move softly against my skin. We stayed silent, and I closed my eyes reveling in the silence and comfort.

"Oh I can't believe I forgot," I sat up quickly remembering the hazelnuts.

"What?"

"And it's late," I panicked shoving my shoes on and grabbing my jacket.

"Bella! Edward grabbed me by the shoulders, forcing me to stop. "Calm down. What's wrong?"

"I have to make a batch of cookies for my Dad to take to work in the morning. I completely forgot about it."

"Okay we'll just go downstairs and make some. I'm sure Esme's got everything stocked up."

"But I have to use these hazelnuts that-"

"Okay, then we'll just go to the store."

"But it's closed. It's passed nine. I have to drive all the way to Port Angeles."

"Okay, I'll drive you."

"You don't have to –"

"I know, but I want to."

"Okay," I nodded dumbly.

I was quiet for most of the way as Edward drove us in his car, and he mumbled along to the words of certain songs which I found very soothing. I was almost asleep when he pulled into the parking lot of a Thriftway.

"Hey, you still awake? Do you just want me to run in and get them? What kind do I need to get?" he asked lowly as I shifted in the warm seat.

"No no, I'm coming in," I yawned unbuckling my seatbelt and opening the door.

"So who are these cookies for? Must be someone pretty important," Edward mused throwing an arm around my shoulders. I was very aware of my back and shoulder muscles, and I suddenly became very focused on trying not to move them, wondering if he could feel them under our layers of clothing. "Bella?"

"Oh um, they're for Mac who works at the station. His name is actually Caius MacArthur, but everyone calls him Mac."

"I can't imagine why," he laughed.

"Yeah well, he's really old and very well respected, and he's been really nice to my dad over the years."

"Hmm, exactly how many people are on this cookie list of yours?"

"I'm not sure. Not that many," I shrugged as the names and faces started to flip through my head. We found the hazelnuts easily and we headed back to front of the store to checkout.

"I bet that's half of Forks. You're just too nice Bella Swan."

"No I'm not. I'm rude and pretentious remember? I ignore people because I'm too good for them," I smirked passed him, glancing down some of the aisles behind him.

"You know I don't think that. I was a dick to you back then, and I still feel extremely guilty for that." His face fell and he stopped to look at me.

"Edward it's okay. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, and you shouldn't because it didn't faze me much," I lied. "Everyone is usually like that towards me."

"I don't want to be everyone," he mumbled as we continued walking. My eyes caught someone familiar in the pharmacy aisle, and I stopped when I realized who it was.

"Edward could you ring this up for me and I'll meet you in the car?" I asked handing him the bag of hazelnuts and some money.

"What? But what are you-"

"Please trust me. I promise to explain when I get back. I just need to do something."

"Alright," he nodded. "I trust you." He turned back toward the checkout lanes and I turned around heading back to the pharmacy aisle. When I hurried around the corner, the small figure jumped away from the shelf and turned around to look at the condoms.

"Jess?" I walked up to her slowly as she grabbed a box and shifted her weight. She was wearing a rain jacket over a very small and tight police officer costume.

"Bella… wh-what are you doing here?" Jessica stuttered not looking at me. I looked at what she had been really staring at and picked up a couple of different boxes.

"Are you sure?" I questioned softly as she looked up at me. She looked lost, and her eyes were teary.

"I don't know," her voice cracked. "Please don't tell anyone Bella."

"It's okay. I won't," I promised looking back at the pregnancy tests.

"I'm a week late, and I've been a couple of days late before but… but I think I might," she cried.

"Come on." I led her nervously to the back of the store where the restrooms were and tore open three different boxes examining the sticks.

"You don't-"

"It's okay. Here." I gave her the sticks and she reluctantly turned into one of the stalls.

I tried to distract myself by washing my hands and my face drying them slowly. I never thought I would be in this situation. Maybe I will one day with Rosalie, and me personally, it would never happen. Edward popped into my head, and I resisted a groan. This was going to be a very uncomfortable ride back home.

"How long do we have to wait for it to…?" Jessica appeared next to me at the sink and she washed her hands.

"Three minutes for these two, but it says six for this one," I handed her one of the boxes. She stared at it silently for a moment and I shuffled my feet. The floor was really sticky.

"Why are you doing this?" she murmured. That was a very good question…

"Because you need someone who's not going to judge you right now. You just need someone to hold your hand and tell you everything's going to be okay," I told her, and we both fell silent.

"I'm sorry I haven't been very nice too you… and I'm totally sorry about Lauren. I've told her to just leave you alone," she shook her head. "She's not really like that when we're alone. It's just _Mean Girls _was her favorite movie…"

"Oh it's okay. Don't worry about it," I blinked at her a little confused. I would have to google that later.

"I think it's time," she looked down at her cell phone, not moving. "What if I am pregnant? What am I going to do? I'm only sixteen. I can't raise a baby. My parents are going to kill me. My life will be over."

"What if you're not?" I tried being optimistic.

"Okay. I can do this," she told herself, nodding her head and turning to the bathroom stall where she'd left the tests.

"Do you… do you want me to…?" I asked when she didn't keep moving.

"I can do this," she repeated. "I can do this." I watched her as she disappeared into the stall, and then I picked up the boxes trying to decipher which signs meant positive and negative. "Blank… one line… not pregnant. What does one line mean?"

"Um… negative. It's negative!" I shouted back at her. "You're not pregnant."

"Thank you god," she smiled coming out of the stall with the pregnancy test tossing them into the trash can. "I'm so relieved right now. I guess it's just stress or something right?"

"Yeah I guess," I agreed not bringing up the possibility of false negatives.

"And if I still don't get my period in a few days then I'll just go to the doctor, but I'm probably not pregnant," she continued smiling as she washed her face. Her eyes were blotchy and red, but she looked happy. "And thanks Bella. I would still be standing out there clueless if it hadn't been for you."

"You're welcome…. Are you still going to tell…?" I trailed off not wanting to say his name out loud. I didn't even want to think his name, but I would end up telling Edward anyway. "Just so that he knows?"

"Oh god no. Are you kidding me? I've already lost my chance with Edward. I'm not going to lose Mike but telling him that I almost had his baby," she scoffed.

"Wait what? Mike? I thought… you and Edward?" I stuttered as she smiled sheepishly at me.

"Oh I wanted to, believe me. But he totally friend zone-ed me. He told me that he really liked someone else, and that he just wanted to be my friend. Then I kinda kept flirting with him to get Mike jealous," she explained.

"Oh…" I was speechless and thoughtless. My head was spinning too fast for me to really comprehend anything else.

"Come on. I have to pay for these, and get back to a party. There's no way I'm letting this go to waste."

I walked out to the parking lot with Jessica and she waved me a goodbye as I headed for Edward's car. I couldn't even look at him when I got into the car, and I finally had to when he wasn't starting the ignition. He was just sitting there watching me.

"So… you gonna tell me what that was all about?" he asked tapping his finger on the steering wheel.

"I saw Jessica looking at pregnancy tests."

"Wow," he whistled.

"She's not though."

"That's good… so you sat with her as she waited for the results?"

"Yeah."

"I was so right. You are way too nice. You're not even friends with Jessica," he laughed turning the key and pulling out of the space.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes at him. I was still dazed from all of the revelations. Edward and Jessica never… He didn't even like her like that. This whole time I thought that he – that they… Clearly everything that I had ever thought about Edward was entirely wrong. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Why are you laughing like that?" he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Because…" I breathed. "It's stupid. You're going to thinks it's funny, but I thought that… When I saw Jessica with the pregnancy tests… I assumed that you and her had… That it was yours," I giggled hysterically. I didn't understand why I was laughing so hard, but I guess I was just so relieved.

He stayed silent and I stopped laughing when I looked back at him. He didn't look happy or confused or even constipated. He looked angry.

"You're not laughing."

"No I'm not. You thought that Jessica and I had sex?"

"Well…" No, I thought you were _having_ sex.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because Jessica obviously liked you. A lot. And she had no problem showing it. Plus she's really pretty and fun and you're… a guy…" My reasoning seemed sensible and logical to me.

"But we weren't even dating. We weren't – Wait that's what you think of me? That I'm just a tool like Mike Newton? That I'll sleep with whoever's willing?"

"That's what guys want! That's what they think about. And we don't exactly sit around talking about our sex lives, do we? Why wouldn't I think that you be any different?"

"Because I am different!" he yelled and I stayed silent. He turned up the radio loudly, and I couldn't hear anything else. I didn't know what to do. He was mad and he needed space, but we were stuck in this little car, an hour away from home. I twiddled my thumbs and fidgeted in my seat not liking the silence between us. I hated that I couldn't read him, but it was worse that he wasn't talking to me.

"I know you're different," I muttered turning down the volume. "And not just because I can't read you. You're actually kind and funny. Most of your jokes aren't vulgar, and you like your family. You're incredibly nice to me when it would be easier for you to just ignore me all together. Back when we weren't friends, I had assumed that you were just like the others and… I'm sorry."

He stayed silent, but I could see that he was glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Do you want to know what happened with Jessica? Why were not friends anymore?" I asked knowing I would get some kind of response from him. He'd bugged me about this forever. He turned his head to glance at me quickly, looking back at the road.

"We were eight and she was having a big sleepover for her birthday. In the middle of the night, I woke Jessica because I heard… something, so we went to her parents' bedroom to wake them up. And… they were – I had heard her Dad thinking – we walked in on them doing it." I stared down at my lap embarrassed. "It was kind of traumatic, and it scarred both Jessica and me, and she had blamed me for it. And technically it was my fault…

"But they should NOT have been doing that with a house full of kids. I mean, who does that?"

Edward started laughing. Loudly. Heartily was the right word. I was just stunned. I'd never seen him laugh like this, and he was kind of beautiful.

"Shit, only you. Only that could happen to you," he chuckled wiping his eyes.

"I don't find it that funny Edward," I shook my head.

"I'm sorry that I overreacted, but I just want you… to understand that I'm not like that."

"I know that now," I nodded before he busted into another round of laughter.

* * *

AN: Sorry sorry sorry sorry. I know I'm late with the chapter. I'm sure everyone has one of those horror stories about their work being deleted and all that jazz. I'm sure ya'll be happy to know that I kicked ass on all of my finals and my GPA is still awesome. I would hate having to explain to my advisor that twilight-fanfiction killed my grades…

I think this entire thing is just straight dialogue… I hope you liked any ways and we're not to far from the end. I'm not giving away a number or anything but we're close.

Also my story _Passing Notes _was nominated for two All Human Twilight awards - fanfiction you **couldn't stop reading** and **best ending**. Honestly they won't win – my story is one of the four stories that's not M-rated on the entire site sooo yeah no chance. So in honor of just being nominated, I will post a fluffy-fluffy oneshot for you guys on May 14th. (well it should be posted then.)

THANKS FOR READING!


	15. Hope

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

AN: warning – lots of dialogue…

* * *

**Hope  
Chapter 14**

"Bye Bella," Jessica waved as I left the gym. She was still giddy from earlier when she asked me for a tampon.

"Things are looking better, huh?" Edward smiled joining me in the hallway.

"Yeah…"

Some things were better. Jessica was being friendly which made Lauren ignore me in spite. Rose and Emmett were sickly happy and all lovey dovey. And Alice was still my friend. But things with Edward were not. It hurt sometimes when I was around him, and something in my chest ached. I wasn't sure what it was. I was rethinking about the whole plan I had about pulling away from everyone - except I was going to need everyone else for moral support if I was going to successfully distance myself from Edward. It was the only thing that seemed to make enough sense to work.

"Wanna come over to my house today? Esme made brownies..." he grinned.

"I can't today," I winced. "I'm going to La Push after school. I'm helping Jake with something."

"Alright… I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bye," I walked to my truck slowly. Rose would be riding with Emmett and Edward, and Jasper was with Alice doing whatever they were always doing. I needed to get back into the old routine when I didn't have so many friends.

"Bella? Bella Swan?" A familiar voice cut through me, but this time it wasn't so threatening.

"Uh… yes?" I looked behind me at James.

"I just wanted to say thank you... For the cookies you made for my grandfather. I didn't know you did that, but I wanted to tell you that I appreciated it," he nodded holding out his hand.

"Oh it was no problem," I nervously shook his hand, feeling something being pushed into it. When I looked down there was a 100 dollar bill in my hand. "Oh I can't –"

"Yes you can," he glared and walked away. Wow. I would always forget that James was Mac's grandson because the _Jimmy_ I heard about was not the same guy. I really didn't like taking money from him.

After stopping by the house to leave a note and to toss the 100 dollar bill into the money can, I decided to go to La Push because I needed to tell Edward that I did, if he asked about it – which with my luck, he would if I didn't go. And I didn't trust myself to lie easily to him anymore. Also La Push was a good place too because there wouldn't be anything there to remind me of him. It seemed like the perfect place to getaway.

When I got to Billy's, he pointed out to the barn and I found all of my wolves sitting around as Jake worked on his car.

"Eh! Look it's our little vampire," Jared smiled brightly at me.

"Hey guys…"

"What's up?" Jake peeked out from underneath his hood.

"Yeah, what's the special occasion?" Paul spoke from his spot next to Jake.

"Nothing, just wanted to see you what you guys were up to," I tried, smiling at him.

"Hmm, wanted some secret alone time with Jakey?" Quil snickered.

"No actually I'm a lesbian now," I smirked.

"Oh please don't say that Bella. It'll ruin all of my fantasies," Embry whined mockingly. "Or wait… no I've got new ones now."

"Don't be such a perv," Seth scoffed. He sat in the corner with some homework, and he glanced curiously over to Jake.

"Yeah that's probably why you don't have a girlfriend. You need to learn how to respect women," Jake chuckled, wiping off his wrench.

"Oh yeah, what about your girlfriend? How well do you respect her? Oh wait, that's right - you don't have one either," Embry snickered. They were all silent for a moment exchanging looks…

_I wonder if that one worked…_

_Is he finally going to crack?.... _

_Christ, someone say something please…_

_You can do it! Just say it. You're gay…_

They knew! I had no idea that they knew. How did I not know this? It seemed that everyone knew that Jake was gay except Paul… did that mean that they knew Paul was gay as well?

_Confess Paul. Confess! … _

Oh yeah, they knew that both of them were gay. Why didn't they just out them and get it all over with? They were just waiting for one of them to come out of the closet; and with the rate that Jake was taking, they needed to go in there and drag him out.

"Anyone see a Phillips head? The red one?" Jake muttered, ducking his head.

"Behind you, here," Paul handed it over, not looking at him.

"Thanks." The other guys looked at each other disappointed and shook their heads. I wanted to laugh, it was so ridiculous. Jacob had this so easy. His friends knew he was gay, and plus the boy he liked, liked him back. Unlike me, there was no unrequited love in the equation.

I ended up staying for hours. I did my homework with Seth, and Dad came over with pizza and watched the game with Billy. Neither Jake nor I talked about Paul or the other guys, and I finally figured it out why I hadn't known before. They didn't see Paul or Jake as the _gay_ _friends_. They didn't care and never focused on it when I was around. And also I wasn't exactly listening carefully to their thoughts. But they just wanted their friends to be happy.

"Bells?" Dad's voice broke me out of my bubble.

"Yeah?" I shook my head trying to clear my head. We'd just gotten home from Billy's and he was staring at something on the counter.

"What is this?" he nodded to a pile of money, holding the empty coffee can that we kept the grocery money in.

"Oh uh, Mac's grandson gave it to me," I told him realizing he was talking about the 100 dollar bill. "He wanted to give me money for the cookies."

"Jimmy?"

"Yeah, but he goes by James though. I wouldn't really go up to him and call him Jimmy. I feel like he would punch some-"

"Can you tell me anything else about him?"

"Uh big, scary, mean, not pleasant…"

"Okay thanks," he nodded.

"What's this about Dad?"

"What? Oh nothing. Mac has been worrying about him, that's all. Goodnight Bells."

"Night." I wondered why he was being so odd.

But everything was forgotten as I fell asleep, and a pair of green eyes swept me away to a meadow full of flowers….

The next day at school I did something I hadn't done in months. I pulled out my ipod. I hadn't needed it with Edward around as he would touch my hand often though briefly, but it was enough to erase my headaches. However I needed to change that because I had to distance myself away from him. It was my new motto. I needed to put in on a t-shirt or tattoo it on my wrist – oh wrist tattoos…

"Bella hey," Edward appeared next to me in the hall. "Oh…" his face fell noticing my earphones in. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just listening to music," I lied. My ipod had been turned off all morning. I hadn't actually needed it yet.

"Oh did you ever listen to that CD I made you?"

"Yeah, it was nice. Thanks," I lied again. I had hidden it from myself so I would forget about it. Listening to Edward-music wasn't going to help my situation. "Well, bye…"

"See you at lunch…" I turned away from him quickly. I didn't want to see his see-you-later smile which made me want to skip and hum happy notes.

That was how I spent the rest of my day - avoiding Edward. I spent lunch in the front office with Mrs. Cope catching up and listening to her gossip. In bio, I watched the video taking notes vigorously, and I participated in volleyball in gym. That I had to admit was fun because I nailed Mike in the head a few times without even trying.

But unfortunately I couldn't escape him after school, and we were all going to his house to watch some movie. I tried to back out of it, but Rose _convinced_ me into going. Even though I loved Tilde's house and was even comfortable in it as the Cullen's' home, I felt extremely awkward that afternoon.

I sunk down lower into the couch. I hated these types of movies - about some kind damsel in distress who had a problem and were sure enough that a kiss would fix it. Well I wouldn't call myself a damsel, but I've been kissed and I've still got a curse - though there was the little part about Jasper not being my true love or whatever. But a kiss couldn't get rid of my curse anyways. What I had was some kind of brain anomaly - a mutation. Though I suppose I would call a pig nose a mutation, but that was a result of a family curse - not like in my case.

When the credits started rolling, I jumped from my spot, which I had purposefully sat as far as I could away from Edward, and pretended to stretch.

"Good movie Alice," Emmett chewed still chomping on his popcorn - from a bowl that he shared with Rosalie. That was how we knew she loved him back.

"Yeah Alice," Rose smirked at Jasper because it wasn't Alice who had picked out the movie. He really did enjoy his romantic comedies.

"Thank you, Jaz helped," Alice giggled.

"Well I'm off," I yawned slipping on my coat.

"You're leaving already?" Edward asked, his eyes knitted at me.

"Yeah I'm tired. I should get home," I mumbled even though it was only 5 o'clock.

"I'll walk you out... Do you want a ride?" he asked shutting the backdoor behind him.

"No thanks," I told him heading to the back trail. I started pacing myself a little faster, but Edward was still behind me. I finally stopped at the meadow to look at him.

"Is there something wrong?" he took a step closer, and I had to look away from his intense stare.

"Aren't you cold?" I changed the subject noticing he wasn't wearing a jacket.

"There is, isn't there? What is it?"

"You're going to get sick. You should go back inside where it's warm," I completely ignored his question.

"Chicago gets a lot colder than this. I think I'll be okay." He took another step closer. "Plus you're warm enough for the both of us. Are you okay?"

"I just have a lot on my mind right now. It's kind of stressing," I rubbed my neck staring at his blue sweater. When did blue sweaters become so sexy?

"Talking about it helps." Why did he have to be so nice? Why can't he be like be a jerk like the rest of them? Ignore me and just hope that it passes quickly.

"The movie just irked me a little. It brought up some stuff..."

"Yeah, I was wondering if the whole kissing thing would work on you... with your _curse_," he scoffed at the word.

My heart flipped. Why was he thinking about that? It was like he was reading my mind which I'm fairly certain he can not do. My heart continued pounding when I looked back up at him. I didn't realize he was standing so close even though I had been blatantly staring at his chest.

"No I don't think it would. How is love supposed to help? It can't just get rid of a curse," I stammered.

"I believe love makes everything better. What else are we supposed to live for if it didn't?" he spoke softly, and I swear his face was getting closer to mine. I swear it. It felt like he was going to kiss me...

"French fries," I breathed looking down - breaking that connection between us. "I don't know. World peace, maybe?" That was a stupid answer, but anything was better than me throwing myself at him. That definitely would have ruined our friendship, and I didn't know if I could handle the rejection. "I'll see you later," I stepped away from him and headed for my house.

Thankfully my dad wasn't home, and I curled up in my room just wanting to fall asleep. I would have played some music but now music just reminded me of Edward, and I didn't want to dream about him anymore. The nightmares had stopped being nightmares and had become something different…

"Bella wake up," Rose's voice sounded in my ear, and my body shook as she nudged me pulling on the blanket.

"Damn it I just fell asleep. Why are you always waking me up? I'm going to shoot you. I have a gun," I grumbled moaning as she yanked the sheets away.

"Wake up sleepy," Alice's voice sounded in my other ear.

"Go away Alice. I don't want to shoot you."

"It's seven, you should get up if you want to get any sleep tonight," she patted my head.

"Seven?" I peeked at the clock and groaned. I had slept over an hour.

"Why can't you do that for me?" Rose whined as I sat up.

"Because I hate you," I growled at her.

"Ouch," Alice laughed. "You weren't joking. She is nasty."

"What do you want?" I blinked at them trying to wake myself up.

"We wanted to talk to you about Edward - hey be quiet and listen," Rose snapped as I started to pout. "You like him."

"A lot," Alice chipped in.

"And we haven't said anything because you needed time and shit, but you're worse than a stubborn mule, and you -"

"I do," I cut her off. I didn't need her to tell me everything that I knew.

"What?"

"I like him, okay? And more than a lot."

"I don't really know what the problem is now," Alice looked at Rose.

"I can't be with him," I answered. "I can't. It won't work out - even if there was the chance he did like me, we still wouldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't leave Forks, and he won't stay."

"Stop making excuses Bella. That's like more than a year away, but how do you know? How can you know if you don't even know what he wants? You have to try or you'll always wonder _what if_," Rose said as her face softened.

"Yeah what about the other what ifs? Like what if we only last a week? What if it ruins our friendship? What if he hates me? In the end, this would be better. Keeping quiet. Not doing anything."

"You're Elinor," Alice finally spoke again.

"Who?" Rose raised an eyebrow at her.

"Elinor Dashwood from _Sense and Sensibility_... You're just like her. You've played matchmaker for all of us, but yourself. You don't see how much Edward likes you, and you've been putting everyone else before yourself. Stop being Elinor and start being Bella."

"Well shouldn't I actually be more like Elinor because in the end she does end up with Edward…" I tried, teasing her. I was not Elinor. We were nothing alike. We were... completely the same. "What if he-"

"No more what ifs," she snapped. "Bella, shouldn't Edward get a choice in the matter? Doesn't he get to decide what happens too? What if he gets sick again? What if tomorrow he gets hit by car and dies? Or in three years? Then you'll be regretting that time you could have spent together even more. And I know you'll be regretting all of this time you've been wasting by wondering and not doing."

"How do you know that he even likes me like that?" I questioned, trying to suppress the anxious heavy feeling in my chest.

"Because it's so obvious. I love watching him squirm, but it's just gotten a little pathetic. Just a little while ago when you left, he came back inside and was all bothered – pulling on his hair and grumbling to himself."

"…I thought he was going to kiss me," I admitted, covering my face in my hands. The feeling in my chest was getting worse, and I was so embarrassed.

"What?" their voices echoed.

"Tell us everything. Don't leave anything out," Rose smiled, pulling my hands away.

"No I don't even remember exactly what he said," I blushed. All lies. "But I remember he was just so close to me, and his face was getting closer; and then I said something about French fries, and I left…"

"Oh Bella, your almost first kiss," Alice smiled wistfully, obviously thinking about her own.

"Um actually Alice," I hesitated, not wanting to tell her. Rose gave me a reassuring nod, and I think Alice caught on.

"Oh…" her eyes widened. "I keep forgetting."

"Don't worry," I shook my head. "They were quick pecks, and there were only three of them, and the first time, I kissed him because he thought I was pretty and he liked me. It was… a safe bet."

"It's okay. Jasper's not exactly the only boy I've kissed, but he's the only boy I've ever… loved." Alice smile nervously.

"Aw… gross," Rose grimaced, making us laugh. "Emmett was my real first kiss. We were under his jeep, and I had just tightened the drain plug when I looked at him," she sighed.

"Yes, we were there," I rolled my eyes as she slapped my knee. "We remember – oil smears and all."

"I have to admit, you must try kissing someone upside down. It's a completely different sensation," she grinned.

"Oooh like Spiderman!"

"What?" I looked at Alice confused.

"Oh boy," she gaped at me. "I'm going to give you some stuff to google…"

"So what are you going to do?" Rose looked at me.

"About what?"

"Oh my god. Edward? What are you going to do now?" Alice rolled her eyes.

"Uh…"

"Bella Maurice Swan-"

"That's not her middle name," Rose shook her head at Alice.

"It's Marie," I offered. "You were close."

"Well I just made one up!"

"Isn't Maurice a boy's name?" I tried not to smile.

"Stop changing the subject and being all Edward-y. Really what are you going to do?" Alice nearly growled.

"How am I being _all Edward-y_?" I knitted my eyes at her.

"You're trying to be all witty and smart aleck-y which are Edward's best qualities," she scoffed.

"Ooh you have been kinda like that lately," Rose agreed.

"Really?"

"Okay you know what? I'm going to call your dad and we're going to lock you and Edward in a jail cell until you start making out."

"Alice, I don't think he'd go for that," I cringed.

"I can get a pair of handcuffs," Rose suggested as Alice's face lit up.

"Stop! I'll do it okay. Just let me build up some courage. I'll do it," I groaned.

The whole thing was nerve wracking, and it made me want to throw up. How exactly was I supposed to go up to Edward and tell him that I liked him? Was I supposed to do it quickly like ripping off a band aid? _Oh hey Edward, in case you didn't know, I'm in love with yout._ Or subtle… _I like you more than friends Edward. Can I borrow your math homework?_ Or maybe in a note… _Hey Edward, I like you. Do you like me? Check yes or no._ With the little boxes and everything. Or I could ask him if he likes where our friendship's at? In the friend zone or not in the friend zone – the love zone?

After I finally got Alice and Rose out of my house I decided to take a bath. It had been a while since I last had one because I only took them when I was super stressed out, but ever since I told Edward last week that I liked them, it had been in the back of my mind stirring. Plus this whole tell-Edward-you-love-him thing was pretty stressing. I just wasn't at that extreme stressed out level… yet.

I tried clearing my head as my body soaked in the lavender bubbles. The sound of rain hitting the window was soothing and I could feel the stress slipping away.

_*Thump… Scraaap*_

My eyes popped open and my ears stretched trying to listen for any more –

*_Thump_*

Great. I was naked in the tub and there's some kind of scary noise coming from right outside the window. It must have been some kind of raccoon. A really big raccoon.

_*Tap tap tap… tap tap*_

Was it _knocking_ on the window? What kind of raccoon was this? I stood up and wrapped a towel around myself and pulled the blinds open. There was a dark figure – way too big to be a raccoon – and it was waving at me. When I squinted at him, I could see his messy hair falling into his face and he pushed it back. It was Edward.

"What the hell?" I managed out as I struggled to open the window with one hand.

"I'm sorry – I thought this was your bedroom window," he stammered. He was standing on the roof of the back porch, and I shook my head at him.

"Why are you trying to come through my window at night? Didn't you think to use the front door?"

"Because I didn't know if you're dad was home, and I knew you wouldn't answer because you've been avoiding everyone. I would have texted you or messaged you but I can't because you don't a cell phone or a facebook, so I'm here. Can I come in?"

"Yeah," I stepped back as he climbed in through the small window.

When I glanced in the mirror, I realized I was still wearing only a towel. I left quickly mortified and locked my bedroom door behind me. I still felt naked wearing my pajamas and I was wishing I had something nicer than a pair of sweats and a holy t-shirt.

"Bella?" Edward knocked on my door.

"Hi," I blushed when I opened it. How was it possible that he had seen me nearly naked twice now?

"Hey…" he stepped into my room, and I backed myself away from him. There was no way I was _confessing_ my love for him tonight.

"So why'd you come over?" I cleared my throat. Wet Edward moved to the top of my list… Whenever I've been out in the rain for a long time, I looked like a drowned cat, but Edward looked like a god – that really perfectly good looking one. What was his name? But maybe he really was a god, and he was just doing all of this to torture me like the rest of them.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About?"

"You…"

"Oh."

"I've just," he paused running a hand through his hair. "You've been acting really weird and I didn't know if it was something that we couldn't talk about around people. Or if you just needed someone to talk to…"

I didn't need to talk about my situation anymore. I've talked about it way too much with everyone else but the person that I needed to tell. And I didn't have it in me to tell him tonight. Why was he always so nice and sweet? Couldn't we go back to the old days when he ignored me and thought I was a psycho?

"I do want to talk to you about something, but can it wait until tomorrow?"

"Yeah sure, just as long as you promise that you will," he held out his pinky.

"Alright, I promise," I grinned hooking my pinky around his.

"Good," he smiled twisting his hand and interlocking our fingers together. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow…"

He left me standing in my room in a daze, and I heard him stumbling in the bathroom.

"Edward, wait!"

"Yeah?" he hurried back into my room, sounding kind of hopeful.

"Use the door this time," I shook my head leading him downstairs.

_What if_ rung through my mind. What if Edward did like me? What if he wanted to be more than friends? Maybe that's why he's so nice to me… I finally recognized that anxious feeling now. I sometimes got it when we were getting our math tests back from Mr. Varner… It was hope.

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AN: This is a filler chapter. Not too thrilled with it, but I needed to get this out before the next chapter which is really scary. I don't know how you guys will respond to it. I haven't really gotten into it yet but the outline scares me… but I'm the author and I overreact with every little detail…

Movie reference – the pig nose thing was from _Penelope _– I saw it in theaters. It's a sweet movie and I love James McAvoy.

not sure when I'll update next because ill be at hogwarts in 10 days - i mean universal studios :) and i don't get back until june 1st.

THANKS FOR READING!


	16. Supposed To

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

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**Supposed To  
Chapter 15**

I woke up extremely early the next morning. It was so early that the shower was still running which meant that Dad had just woken up. I tried my best to close my eyes and will my mind to go blank. But it didn't work. My stomach started growling and my throat was excessively dry. I pulled myself out of my bed and stumbled down the stairs to the kitchen.

I was almost done making scrambled eggs when Dad came down the stairs straightening his tie. He continued passing me and walked out the front door. I knitted my eyes at him as I watched him pick up the paper and make his way back up the driveway.

"Bella!" he gasped when he came back into the kitchen. "I didn't see you…"

"Yeah I got that," I grumbled not fully awake. "Nice observation skills. Aren't you supposed to be a police chief?"

"Supposed to…" He sat down flinging the old newspapers to the other side of the table. Something fell onto the floor and I cringed hoping it wasn't what I thought it was. "What's this?" He picked up the plastic case examining it.

"Just a CD that Edward gave me," I told him trying to sound nonchalant, though I had hidden it to keep myself from listening to it.

"Hmm…" he hummed as I set his plate down on the table.

"Thanks Bella, you're the best daughter a man could ever have," I grunted in a deep voice. "Really, it was nothing Dad," I smiled sweetly at him, but he was still concentrating on the CD.

"Yeah thanks," he grabbed the CD case and bolted out of his seat hurrying into the living room.

"Dad?" I'd never seen him move so fast before.

He was standing in front of the stereo in the corner mumbling and pushing buttons. I recognized the music as it started playing. Edward said that he really liked the melody of this song. Dad skipped to the next song, and I remembered that Edward liked it because of the drum solo at the end. He continued listening to pieces of songs until he started laughing.

"Cheap Trick? Ah damn, the kid made you a mix tape!" he continued laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I just used to make mix tapes for mother."

"Why?" It was strange that we were talking about her; she rarely ever came up.

"Because I wanted her to like me…"

"Oh… so Edward gave me a CD so I'll like him?"

"He didn't just _give_ you a CD. He _made_ it for _you. _He had to pick out meaningful songs and put them in a specific order so that it'll perfectly describe what he feels for you… It probably took him days to do," he smiled down at the CD case.

"Wow, I'm glad you're so impressed," I rolled my eyes.

"Bella, you have to at least listen to it."

"Why?"

"Because he worked so hard on it. It's obvious he likes you…"

"What?" I whipped my head at him.

"What? It's true. He came to me and asked for my permission to take you to the movies, he brought over pie on your birthday, and he's here _all_ the time."

"So is everyone else," I objected.

"But you don't have huge crushes on them, do you?"

"I don't like Edward," I lied.

"Well I do. He's a good kid," he shook his head. He wouldn't have been saying that if he knew that Edward snuck into the house last night and saw me in nothing but a towel.

"Right," I scoffed. I shifted my weight feeling so confused. Shouldn't my dad hate the boy I liked? And shouldn't the fact that my dad approved of him make me not like Edward anymore - like when parents hate the boyfriend and forbid the daughter to see him, but she just likes him even more? Like that, but reversed?

"Bells, you should know that I wouldn't change a thing if I could. I mean with your mother… What's the saying? Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all – it's true. Plus she gave me you… I know it's scary, but you can't be afraid of love."

"Alright… your breakfast is getting cold," I stammered. I had been stunned speechless by my own father. He'd mentioned my mother, quoted Tennyson, and gave profound advice all in one breath.

We ate breakfast in silence and that heavy feeling of hope kept building inside me. Maybe everyone was right. And Dad was a cop; he had special instincts and senses. Maybe Edward really did like me…

"Okay kiddo, I've got to go. Thanks for breakfast," he kissed the top of my head. "Love ya."

"Bye, love you. Be safe…"

I finished my breakfast and started cleaning up my mess. I started realizing that I was going to tell Edward today that I liked him. What the hell was I supposed to say to him? Wordings and phrases rolled through my mind, and I was starting to get anxious.

"Edward, I like you," I practiced, trying it out. "Hey Edward, what's up? Me? Oh I just love you, that's all… I like you Edward. I really like you."

_*Knock Knock*_

I picked up a dish towel drying my hands and walked to the front door. Rose didn't usually forget her key, but she hadn't been coming to my house in the mornings anymore. Her extra time was being used to make sure that her face was clear and her breath minty fresh.

"Hey – Edward? What - what are you doing here?" I stuttered.

"It's tomorrow… sorry, I couldn't wait," he smiled sheepishly. "Should I leave? Do you want to do this later?" He was stepping backwards off the porch.

"No we uh, we can talk now, I guess…" I opened the door to let him in. My stomach was starting to hurt, and my breathing quickened. I could do this. I would do this. I was going to throw up.

"So is this…" he trailed off staring at something in the corner. Then I realized that the stereo was still on – playing the CD that Edward had made me. My face was burning when I hurried over to turn it off.

"You were saying?" I cleared my throat, sitting down next to him on the couch.

"This thing that you need to talk about, is it about your dad?"

"My dad? What about him?"

"Okay, I guess it's not. I just overheard Rosalie talking to Emmett about your dad… and his secret relationship to some woman named Sue," he winced. "I'd thought that was what was stressing you out."

"Well it's not my dad," I breathed. "It's about us…"

"Us?" his eyes widened.

"Yeah…" I grimaced at his response, and I could feel my courage disappearing. "I just wanted to make sure that our friendship – where it's at? – is what you wanted," I stammered feeling foolish. "I mean I like yo-"

"Bella, there's nothing more than I want than to be your friend. You're my best friend," he told me grabbing my hand.

"Okay. Good," I nodded. Glass shattering – that was how I felt. "Just making sure…"

"That's what you've been worrying about?" he asked again.

"Yeah, it was stupid."

"No it wasn't…"

"Well that's settled, I still have to get ready for school so…" I trailed off. I felt my throat starting to burn.

"Oh, I'll go. See you later," he smiled, jumping up and heading for the front door.

"See ya," I waved.

As soon as the door was shut and his car was gone, I started crying. Not because I was stressed or overwhelmed, but because I was hurt. Rejected. He didn't want to be more than friends. He was just fine being friends, so that was it. I could tell everyone now to shut up, and that they were all wrong. I was right. He didn't like me like that… I started to cry even harder.

After I had to force myself to stop crying, I took a hot shower trying to get rid of evidence that I had been crying. I didn't want to go to school with a blotchy face and a sniffling nose. I had to pretend to be fine - no I had to be fine. I had to be fine. My eyes were still red when I got out of the shower, and I prayed to the one helpful god that it would fade by the time I got to school. But with me being me, I tried thinking of some believable excuses. Shampoo in the eyes? A sad book? Both?

I finished cleaning up my mess from breakfast and got ready for school. I made sure to grab _Romeo and Juliet_ from my bookshelf knowing I could easily cry from reading Act V alone. As I locked the front door, I decided that I was never waking up early ever again. Sleeping in is king.

I waited as long as I could in my truck trying to waste time by cleaning out the glove box and reading _Romeo and Juliet_. But it didn't have the same effect on me anymore. I didn't feel bad for either of them. They had each other and were so in love, but they were too stupid to tell the other their plan, and then they decided to kill themselves. Way to go Romeo - everything was his fault. I had no sympathy for him or Juliet. They were both idiots.

In first period, Mr. Mason reminded us that juniors had an assembly for second and third period. College speakers - just what I needed. I was definitely trying to go to skip. On my way to the front office to hide out with Mrs. Cope, I ran into Coach Clapp. Literally…

"Oh sorry Coach," I mumbled trying to slip into the doorway behind him.

"Ms. Swan, don't you need to be heading that way?"

"No sir, I'm not going to college," I sighed. I didn't feel like lying – that or I couldn't come up with a quick excuse. I used to be so good at it.

"That way Ms. Swan," he pointed behind me. He didn't believe me. "I know it's boring, but if I have to suffer than everyone else does too including smart students like you."

"Alright," I grumbled turning on my heel. I didn't need this hour and a half assembly to help me choose a career or pick the right college. For me it was easy. There wasn't one. I'd fine something here to do and I always had the money that Tilde left me, but I never really planned on using it.

Other students were still filing into the gym trying to find their friends in the crowds and on the bleachers. Even in a crowded room, my eyes found Edward easily. He was sitting on the far side smiling brightly at Rosalie and Alice. I headed for the closest spot hoping to escape as soon as possible.

"Bella!" Emmett and Jasper appeared in front of me with pitiful expressions. "Edward said that -"

"I know what Edward said, okay!" I snapped frustrated. "He doesn't like me like that. You don't have to remind me, and I don't need any consolation!"

"Uh... we just wanted to know if you had any food..." Jasper took a step back.

"Edward said that you might have an extra granola bar..." Emmett murmured.

"Oh... no. Sorry," I turned away from them. I felt bad for yelling at them, and I was completely embarrassed.

"Wait Bella, what did you mean?" Jasper put his hand on my shoulder. "What about Edward?"

"Nothing. Just forget I said anything."

"No tell me," he urged. And I did. I told him quickly about how I sorta liked Edward, how Rose, Alice, Jake, and even Dad convinced me that he felt the same towards me, and how this morning I tried to tell Edward how I felt but he'd cut me off to tell me that he just wanted to be friends.

"Kids, sit down," Mrs. Chea scolded us. Almost everyone else had settled onto the bleachers, and I found a spot on the edge where I could easily slip off without anyone noticing. Jasper disappeared probably to find Alice, and I closed my eyes hoping for a decent nap.

"Dude scoot over," Emmett's muttering startled me. I nearly screamed when I felt two hands slide my body a foot over to the left. "I've got a Kit Kat and a honey bun which do you want?" he asked climbing up next to me.

"Thanks," I whispered taking the chocolate.

"Sweet, honey bun…" he tore open the package and took a large bite.

"Where did you get these?"

He looked at me, but continued chewing. _I charmed Mrs. Chea with my awesome Spanish skills, and she let me go to the vending machines. Hey! This is awesome. I wish my mom could read my mind, so then I'd never have to worry about chewing and talking at the same time! _A smile grew on his face as he took another bite.

That was what I liked about Emmett. He wasn't terribly nosey like everyone else, and he understood that I didn't want to talk about everything.

_Hey we should play hangman!_ He stuffed his honey bun into his mouth and leaned over to pull out a piece of paper and a pen out of his bag. _Here you think of something and I'll guess..._

We played games of hangman and tic-tac-toe for the entire time, and it was... fun. I missed hanging out with Emmett. We never really hung out just the two of us anymore. And because the speakers took forever and ran too long, we got to stay in the gym until lunch time.

"I think we should have an assembly everyday," Jasper yawned as we trailed to the cafeteria.

"No way, I can't stand listening to those people talk forever. Plus I already know where I'm going to school. I'm going to the New York Art Institute and be a bum when I grow up," Alice grinned. "Or maybe a teacher... It's the same thing really."

"I'm not really worried about it. We still have a whole year to think about," Emmett shrugged.

"What about you Bella?" Alice asked.

"Oh I'm not going. I can't afford it," I told her, hoping they would drop it. They did. The truth was, monetarily I could afford to go, but emotionally and physically I couldn't. I'd never left Forks for more than a day, and imagining all the headaches from just being on a huge campus gave me a migraine.

The topic swiftly changed from colleges to weekend plans. They were talking about going to the movies, and I knew that I wasn't going. I couldn't sit in a dark room for two hours holding Edward's hand. It was painful enough sitting next to him.

Edward was being quiet like he had been all morning. He even ignored Lauren when she asked him a question about some band. Every so often he would glance at me and then down at his lap. I squinted my eyes at him trying to will my brain to read his.

_Mmm, why does Rose have to be so hot? Nope. Dead puppies. Dead puppies… _An awful image of a slaughtered puppy flickered in my mind.

"Emmett!" I gasped at him realizing what was happening.

"What?" he glanced up at me. "Huh?"

"Ew... stop it!" I scolded him.

"What?" Rose looked at me confused.

"Emmett- ew - no," I stuttered standing up as he started to blush. "Nothing…" Edward understood and started laughing, and Emmett shook his head.

"What? What happened?" Alice looked between us. "I missed it."

"It's an inside joke," Edward told her. "Get it? An inside joke," he grinned at Emmett starting to laugh again.

"Oh..." Rose raised at eyebrow at her boyfriend before leaning over to kiss his cheek. She had a small smirk on her face when he wouldn't look at her.

"Yeah well I'll come back after I wash out my brain in-" I stopped, startled.

_Damn Chief Swan's been shot? ..._

I dropped my tray on the table and hurried out of the cafeteria looking for Coach Clapp because that's whose voice I heard. He must be mistaken. Had to be. My dad was the police chief of Forks. Not somewhere crazy like New York or Atlanta where people got shot every other minute.

"Oh Bella," Mrs. Cope called worriedly from down the hall. Coach Clapp and two Port Angeles police officers followed behind her. They were both female and the only person who I could hear was Coach.

"What happened?" I choked out. "Is he okay?"

The two police officers exchanged looks and one of them looked at me sympathetically. "Please come with us…"

I didn't remember the ride to the Port Angeles hospital much. I remembered little pieces like when they told me that Dad had been shot and he was still in surgery. I stayed quiet thinking about the scenario I was in. Shouldn't they have waited to come get me when they had definite information? Shouldn't they have waited until after school so they wouldn't have had to make a scene? At least they would have if I hadn't heard Coach Clapp… Wouldn't they have thought that I would start having a breakdown once I saw them? Shouldn't I have been doing that now? Wasn't I supposed to be praying and thinking about things I've should have said and done?

When the elevator doors opened, I saw doctors and nurses were hurrying in and out a pair of scary-looking metal doors down the hall. I took off.

"Dad?" I tried to move around people trying to get to the large doorway.

"Miss, you can't go in there." I heard someone tell me. The hell I couldn't…

The first person I recognized was Waylon, one of Dad's captains. He looked exhausted as he rubbed his face roughly and leaned up against the wall with a cup of coffee in hand.

"Waylon!" He looked up confused. "Is he okay? Can I go in?"

"Bella, you can't go in there. He's still in surgery," he pulled me away. "Those are the operating rooms."

"What happened?" I choked losing my balance and falling into him. I finally started crying. My father had been shot and I didn't know if he was okay. I had been stoic and calm before, but now that I could see it and it was reality, it tore me apart. I think part of me hadn't believed any of it - probably still hoping that I had fallen asleep in assembly...

"I've got her," a soft voice sounded behind me somewhere, and I felt his hands on me as he turned me into his chest. I didn't understand how he got here, but I didn't care. Edward was here…

I woke up feeling groggy and stiff. I hadn't even realized that I had fallen asleep. My face felt heavy as I smashed it into my pillow, but my pillow wasn't my pillow. It was hard and it smelled really good. Woodsy cinnamon. I glanced up at Edward and tried to move off of him.

"No don't," he cleared his throat shaking his head. His hands tightened on me and then I realized where they were. His right hand was trapped in mine which were clasped my legs and his left was wrapped around the back of my neck, his fingers under my shirt collar.

I was confused. I almost asked him what he was doing here, but then I realized why _I_ was here and exactly where _here_ was.

"How is he?"

"He's stable, and they've got him in a room down the hall. They'll come get us when he's up," he nodded giving me a reassuring smile.

"Good…" I laid my head back on his chest.

"Oh and Jacob and his dad are here with Sue… they just went down to the cafeteria."

"Good…" I felt bad for not thinking about calling her, but I had been distracted and I technically wasn't supposed to know about her relationship with my father. But I did know and I should have remembered to call her… "How is she?"

"Uh okay? I think… She didn't pass out, but there was a lot of crying. Shit sorry if that sounded insensitive," he stammered.

"No it's fine," I nuzzled into him, breathing deeply. "You got here pretty fast…"

"I got worried when you didn't come back, and I went to the front office to ask Mrs. Cope if you'd sign out. She told what happened and I came here… and I drive pretty fast," he smirked.

"Did you try to charm her again?" I smiled.

"No," he snorted. His fingers on the back of my neck started to move, massaging my skin. I closed my eyes not caring that he was only comforting me. "I'm always naturally charming…" I could here the smile in his voice, and I hoped it was that crooked smirk that always made my heart beat a little faster.

"He's awake," Waylon yelled coming from around the corner. I jumped up, stumbling a little as the silence was replaced by a roar of thoughts, and my body readjusted from the awkward position I had been curled up in. I passed him hurrying down the hall hoping that I was heading for the right room and realizing that Edward had carried me down to a different floor. I was assuming it was the one surrounded by all of the other police officers.

"Miss, you can't go in there," one of them told me in a nasally tone putting there hands on my shoulders trying to hold me back. It was the same guy as before, and I wanted to break his fingers because I was just so frustrated.

"If you don't let go of me..." I growled at him.

"I'm sorry, but you can't -" My hand snapped upward and gripped his left wrist twisting it.

"Tell me _I can't_ one more time, and I'll break it…" I growled. I usually wasn't so violent, but it wasn't everyday that my father was gravely injured.

"Bella!" Waylon called me. "Let him go..."

"Tell him to let go of me," I argued. "He started it."

"Bells?" My father's voice flowed from the room in front me.

"Dad!" I pushed passed the officer letting go of his wrist. Relief washed over me when I saw him sitting up. He winced as he looked himself over touching all of the tubes and wires.

"Hey Bells," he mumbled groggily- trying to smile.

"You're okay?" I asked blinking heavily trying to keep myself from crying.

"Yeah it was just a shoulder wound. I had to go into surgery so they could get the bullet out. I might be able to keep it if it's not needed in evidence," he sounded kind of excited.

"Good, you – you get to keep the bullet," I nodded before stepping closer to his side. "So it wont hurt too much if I did this," I punched his good arm.

"Bells," he winced.

"That's for getting shot. What the hell Dad? What were you doing? I don't understand! And no one would tell me anything and this guy kept telling me I couldn't come in, and they sent two women officers to come get me and I couldn't see - what - happened," I was starting to bawl. I thought I had cried all of my tears this morning…

"What? Bella look at me," he grabbed my hand. "I'm okay. I'm fine... Samson!" he called to someone in the door. "What the hell happened? I specifically told you to send two of my guys to get her." The same guy as before shifted in the doorway holding a bag of ice on his wrist.

"Sorry sir, I just thought it be easier-"

"You thought wrong. What the hell happened to your wrist?"

"Uh," he stammered glancing at me. I couldn't help but smile as I sniffled.

"A hormonal teenage girl," Edward grinned behind me. I'd forgotten he was there.

"What?" Dad squinted at me. I shot Edward a look and he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Dad you better start talking because I still don't know why or how or where or who! Who shot you?"

"I can't say too much…" he winked. "Mark from the PAPD asked for a favor. He needed help with a case and thought that some of the shady stuff was happening in Forks… _It's a drug case. A few kids have died from some bad heroin. They're going for top guy to shut it all down. They've tried everything – going undercover, getting sources to talk, tracking bills…_"

"The 100 dollar bill…" I mumbled. It was why he acted so strange.

"_I was so scared. I didn't think that you could have any contact with something so dangerous. We'd been following Jimmy since then. That led us to another guy and another and another. This morning we made the bust, and we got em. It was actually a woman who was in charge; everyone had been looking in the wrong places. But I'm done. I'm off the case._"

"But why did you get shot? You weren't there, were you?" I glared at him. Sometimes I wondered if he missed out on his youth – being reckless and adventurous. Maybe being in big shoot out was a way of doing it.

"Oh hell no," he scoffed. "I was stationed 500 yards away where I was supposed to be. I don't know what happened, but then there was shooting behind us and I got hit… Think the ladies will dig it?" he cracked a smile.

"It's not funny, and I don't think Sue's gonna like it either," I told him as his face fell.

"You know about Sue?"

"Uh yeah Dad," I tapped my forehead. "Are you kidding? It's been five years… Why do think Rose keeps bringing those mall catalogs over and leaving them open to the engagement rings?"

"Six and a half," he smiled softly. "I just-"

"I know. We don't have to really get into this right now," I shook my head as he squeezed my hand.

_*Beep Beep Beep Beep*_

"Excuse me, wide load coming through!" Jacob's laughter flowed into the room.

"Turn that shit off. You're an embarrassment," Billy scolded him as Jake closed his cell phone cutting off the beeping noise.

"Love you too Dad… Hey look who's up!" Jake smiled as he wheeled Billy into the room. He looked between me and Edward and wiggled his eyebrows. His face fell when I shook my head frowning.

"Hey guys, you didn't have to come all the way down here," Dad groaned.

"Uh yeah we did, man. Two words – emergency contact," Billy wheeled himself to the foot of his bed. "Look who's the cripple now?"

"Hey I can still take you!" Dad grinned.

"Settle down you two. This is a hospital… Can't take them anywhere," Sue walked into the room as she shook her head. She gave me a warm smile even though her cheery disposition was gone. Dad's face fell when she looked at him, silencing the room.

"Well I need a soda… Do you want anything?" Edward asked me, clearing his throat.

"No thanks."

"Hey Edward, take her back to Forks with you, will ya," Dad called to him.

"Uh yes sir," he nodded pulling out his keys.

"Dad…" I started.

"Bells, you're not hanging out in a hospital all afternoon. Go home, take a nap, rob a bank, chillax or something…"

"Okay," I sighed following Edward out into the hall.

"You ready to go?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, thanks for coming here. It means a lot," I twisted my frown into an almost smile.

"You should know Bella, I'm always here for you," he looked at me, stopping in the middle of the hall. I nodded continuing toward the elevators. "_For now"_ I wanted to tell him.

This was not how this day was supposed to go. This morning I imagined confessing my love for Edward and then he would kiss me and then… Well I hadn't thought that far ahead. We'd do what normal couples do or at least we would have tried. Movies… Dinner dates… … What else would we have done? Constantly holding hands and what? Maybe I had been right the first time.

We never were supposed to be together.

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AN: This IS an ExB story. I promise. I don't understand why I keep pushing it back, but it's going to happen in the next _chapter_… when that'll be posted I'm not sure…

I said this was going to be scary, but I was exaggerating. Plus I didn't make it so angsty and that's it with Charlie's case. I know it just popped out of nowhere, but things like that in RL are unexpected. But I was really nervous…

I'm going on vacation in a few days so don't expect an update within the next week. I was going to post this Friday but I was in such a hurry to get it done that I finished early and I couldn't wait to update… : )

Also, just saw an _Eclipse_ trailer on tv and wow… angry Edward is hot. ; )

THANKS FOR READING!


	17. Edward's Mistake

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

AN: this is not the next chapter… this is an outtake. **EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV**

* * *

**Edward's Mistake  
Outtake**

I flung through the large pile of clothes on my bed unsure of what I should wear. I'd turn in to such a girl since I met Bella. I never cared about what I wore before - though Penbrook had mandatory uniforms. If Forks had uniforms I'm sure I would still be doing the same thing. It honestly didn't matter what I wore really. I was just nervous... It was strange actually. Even though I was ridiculously nervous, I'd never been so confident around a girl. Well I'd never been in love before either. It was true. I loved Bella Swan.

The feeling in my chest whenever I thought about her grew tenfold when I was with her. I was happy when she was happy, and I hated it when she cried. It was worst when I couldn't do anything to help her...

But I was helping her this morning. She needed to talk about something, and I was going to listen. I wondered if it was her dad's love life that was bothering her, and I prayed it was because I would have that in the bag. I'd been in the same situation ten years ago when Dad started dating. The only woman I'd ever met was Esme, but I knew there were others... But I had the perfect speech planned. I knew exactly what to say, and I knew my advice was great. I wouldn't be a total idiot in front of her for once.

I started to panic when I got to her house, and I felt like I was unraveling. Shit! I should have brought breakfast or something. Bella was not a morning person - at all. Shit, I hope she was awake this early. Shit I shouldn't have come this morning. I should have waited until we were at school or until she came to me. But it was already too late, what if she saw my car or if Rose did and told her about it later. Would she think I was a freak for being here or stalking her. Too late. I just had to knock on the door and hope for the best.

When she opened it, I didn't expect for her to be fully awake. She looked so pretty in her pajamas. No one was supposed to look that good, but Bella did.

"Hey – Edward! What - what are you doing here?"

"It's tomorrow… sorry, I couldn't wait," I smiled awkwardly. "Should I leave? Do you want to do this later?"

"No we uh, we can talk now, I guess…" she moved back to let me in, and I passed her into her living room.

"So is this…" I paused hearing the familiar music. The CD? She had been playing it? I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face as she blushed turning it off. Maybe she did like me.

"You were saying?" she cleared her throat, sitting down next to me.

"This thing that you need to talk about, is it about your dad?" I asked hopeful.

"My dad? What about him?" she knitted her eyes at me. I guess it wasn't…

"Okay, I guess it's not. I just overheard Rosalie talking to Emmett about your dad… and his secret relationship to some woman named Sue," I grimaced. Was I overstepping our boundaries? "I'd thought that was what was stressing you out."

"Well it's not my dad. It's about us…"

"Us?" I felt my face fall. I hadn't expected her to be worrying about us.

"Yeah… I just wanted to make sure that our friendship – where it's at? – is what you wanted," she started mumbling.

"Bella, there's nothing more than I want than to be your friend. You're my best friend," I interrupted her, trying to be reassuring.

"Okay. Good, just making sure…" she smiled. But it wasn't a real smile… something had just happened, and I had no idea what it was.

"That's what you've been worrying about?" I asked unsure.

"Yeah, it was stupid."

"No it wasn't…" I didn't think that our friendship was stupid.

"Well that's settled, I still have to get ready for school so…" she trailed off.

"Oh, I'll go. See you later," I smiled heading for the front door. I still had a lot of work to do. I had been so nervous about telling her about my feelings. She had said that she didn't date, but my goal was to merge our friendship into a relationship without her even realizing it. But I was having a tough time because she kept rethinking our friendship - like I didn't want to be her friend. I wanted to be her best friend and more. I wanted to be her everything.

"See ya," she waved. At least she hadn't said "_good-bye_". That's when I knew we were in big trouble…

Later at school, when we were called into assembly, I picked a nice spot on the back of the bleachers where we could whisper without getting caught. I wasn't sure how Forks High did assemblies, but I was guessing they were pretty similar to the ones we had at Penbrook. Boring and pointless.

"Hey Ed, please tell me you got something to eat on you," Emmett raced up the bleachers with an eager look on his face. Jasper trailed behind him.

"No, but Bella might have a granola bar," I told him regretting right away. Bella usually saved those for gym for when she hadn't eaten enough at lunch. Sometimes she would share it with me…

"Thanks!" They hurried away, and I wondered where Bella was. She should have been here first. Her classroom was way closer to the gym than mine.

"Hey," Rose appeared next to me as I glanced around the gym. I nodded at her in response. "Who you looking for?"

"It wouldn't be Lauren Mallory, would it?" Alice popped up in front of me.

"What? No!" I looked down at her like she was insane. They started cackling and I rolled my eyes. "Ha ha…"

"Someone's in lurve," Rosalie giggled and I felt my face burn.

"Awww, he his! Look Rose, he's blushing," Alice whispered loudly.

"Okay thanks," I grinned. I couldn't help it because I was… and I liked this feeling. Jasper pulled Alice away, and I watched them as their hushed conversation turned serious.

"You really need to tell her or ask her out or something because you'll lose your chance if you don't," Rose shook her head. I pulled away from the pair and looked at her.

"You really think I have a chance?"

"More than a chance," she reassured me.

"Thanks," I smiled trying to show her how grateful I was for her support.

"Edward?" Alice slid in next to me.

"Yeah?" I asked shivering a little. She'd used her creepy voice that made me feel like I was in big trouble.

"Do you realize that you have just screwed the pooch with Bella?"

"What do you mean?" I started to get worried.

"You went to her house this morning?"

"Yeah, to talk about something that's been bothering her..."

"And you let her talk about? She got it all out of her system?" she asked.

"Yeah, she was worried about us. She was wondering where our friendship's at and -"

"She asked if you liked where you're relationship is?" she quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah..."

"What did she exactly mean by that?" she asked and my mind went into overdrive rethinking over everything. What _did_ she mean?

"I uh I - I don't know. I cut her off. I told her I wanted to be her friend more than anything... Wait what did she mean? What else could that have meant?" I was panicking.

"She probably meant taking your relationship to the next level - romantically?" she suggested.

"What? That's what that meant?"

"Yep."

"Are you kidding me? Why didn't she just tell me or ask me out right?"

"She was trying to do that, but _someone_ wouldn't let her speak..."

"Shit! What do I do? How do I fix it?"

"Talk to her in layman's terms. Don't leave until she understands what you mean. Kiss her – make sure you kiss her."

"So - so she does like me? Like that?" I could feel a swelling in my chest and I felt a grin appearing on my face.

"Ugh you're hopeless. I hope for Bella's sake you grow some brain cells. Bella likes smart boys."

I was ridiculously happy as the speakers droned on. I couldn't hear what they were saying because all I could hear was _Bella likes you_. Bella liked me! When we were finally released, the nerves sunk back in and I could hardly breathe I was so nervous. What if Alice had made all that up to get back at me for all those pranks Em and I pulled on her? What if I was going to make a fool of myself in front of Bella?

I followed everyone else out into the hallway as our group found Emmett and Bella. I stayed silent watching her closely. She looked really out of it and was distant and I was really scared now. Had I just ruined everything?

My goal of secretly turning our friendship into a real relationship was back firing on me. I'd thought she was rethinking us, but actually she'd wanted to be more. But I was overreacting… This was a very good thing. This was going to be the best of my life because Bella Swan liked me back.

"Emmett!" Bella gawked at him after we all had just gotten settled at our lunch table.

"What?" he looked up. "Huh?"

"Ew... stop it!" she yelled at him. I watched them unsure of what she had seen.

"What?" Rose looked confused.

"Emmett- ew - no," she stammered standing up from her seat. "Nothing…" She shook her head not looking at anyone, and then I understood what was happening. And I couldn't help but laugh because Emmett was finally getting what he deserved – humiliation - for making fun of me so much.

"What? What happened?" Alice looked around at everyone. "I missed it."

"It's an inside joke," I told her. "Get it? Inside joke," I laughed at Emmett.

"Yeah well I'll come back after I wash out my brain," she dropped her tray and hurried away.

"What? I don't get it," Alice whined.

"She probably saw something that she didn't want to see," I suggested. I could only imagine what she saw in Emmett's head. Thankfully, she couldn't see into my head because then she would call me a pervert and probably beat me.

"Huh?"

"He means…" Jasper started, but finished whispering in her ear. I laughed watching her face change from confused to disgusted.

"Emmett!" she scolded.

"Jesus," he muttered getting up from the table. "I'll be back…"

"So what do you guys think about the movie? Sound good?" Rosalie changed the subject.

"Sure, we're in," Jasper nodded throwing his arm around Alice's chair.

"So you think you'll come?" she looked at me. "Hmmm? Holding hands with Bella in a dark room watching a scary movie?"

"Oh, I don't know. I don't think Bella likes scary movies much. She actually laughed when a zombie ate someone," I thought it over.

"Finished already?" Jasper snickered when Emmett sat back down.

"I wasn't doing that!" he snapped. "Jesus…"

"Did you see Bella?" I asked him. She should have been back by now unless she went somewhere else or she left school.

"Nah, she usually uses the girls' restroom. That was a one time thing," he shook his head.

"Huh…" I started to worry.

"Hey where're you going?" Alice asked as I stood up abruptly.

"I'll be back," I told them.

Something didn't feel right, and anything was possible with Bella. I figured that if Bella left, than she would have signed out with Mrs. Cope. There was a small crowd in the front office, and I had to sneak around them to get to the front desk. Mrs. Cope was blowing her nose, and she looked like she had been crying.

"Mrs. Cope," I tried to gain her attention. "Mrs. Cope, sorry to bother you but I was just wondering if Bella-"

"Oh dear!" she looked up at me. "Oh poor girl, she just left. They took her to the hospital in Port Angeles-"

"Wait - why? Is she okay?" I panicked. What could have happened to her on the way to the bathroom? Why didn't we see an ambulance or a commotion or shit?

"Her father has been injured on duty. They didn't tell us anything else, but they - Mr. Cullen?" she called after me as I hurried off toward the school parking lot. Why hadn't she come and gotten one of us? She shouldn't be alone at a time like this.

I was halfway to Port Angeles when I realized I had no idea where the hospital was. I could have just drive around looking for signs, but I didn't want to waste any time. I reached for my phone, not caring if I was going to get in trouble for skipping school.

"Hello? Edward?" Esme picked up on the second ring.

"Hey… I was wondering if I could I ask you a favor?"

"Yeah sure."

"Can you look up directions for the hospital in Port Angeles?"

"Why? Where are you? Why aren't you in school?"

"Bella's dad has been hurt, and they came and got her out of school. But I wanted to be there for-"

"Say no more," she assured me, before spouting off directions. "Just let me know what's going on when you get there okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Esme…"

It wasn't hard to find the hospital, but inside was a different story. There was a long line at the nurses' desk, and I had no idea if all hospitals were structured the same or not. I had no clue where to go, and I couldn't call Bella because she didn't have a cell phone. I ended up following a couple of Forks police officers near the elevators, and I found her. She was barely standing as she cried into another officer's arms, who looked like he could barely stand himself.

"I've got her," I told him as I hugged her. I hated seeing her cry... I just held her for a while as she kept crying and there was no place for anyone to sit.

Eventually Jacob showed up with his Dad and another woman who I remembered from the hospital, and someone led us down to another floor where they would bring down her father. I tried my best to make Bella comfortable in my lap. She'd fallen asleep upstairs, and I didn't want to just thrown her down in a chair.

"Have you told her yet?" Jacob's father looked from me to Bella.

"Told her what?" I asked surprised, clearing my throat.

"Huh, guess not," he chuckled.

"Hey Dad," Jacob entered the small waiting room. "I think we need to take Sue to the cafeteria or somewhere for a distraction. She's getting a little… scary."

"Alright I'm coming," he nodded, and Jacob turned around down the hall. "Tell her soon kid."

I nodded silently as he rolled himself out of the room, oddly knowing what exactly he was talking about. I tighten my hold on Bella and kissed her forehead.

"I'm in love with you, Bella Swan…"

* * *

AN: so this was an EPOV outtake, and I said next chapter will be the exciting chapter and it will be. I promise. It will happen.

But hey you guys weren't even supposed to get this for another week or so, but I typed it up before I left on vacation. Which I'm back home now… sadly. I did however love my trip and you should definitely visit Islands of Adventure for the harry potter section if ever get the chance. It was surreal… and butterbeer smells like butterscotch but tastes like cream soda. : )

THANKS FOR READING!


	18. Come Out

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

* * *

**Come Out  
Chapter 16**

"Bella! Bella wake up!" A deep voice was whispering in my ear. I tried to swat at whoever was there, but my arms couldn't move, like someone had tied me down. I opened my eyes to see someone else's sleeping face very close to mine.

Edward? What was he doing here? Flashes of us at the hospital and this morning appeared in my mind, and I remembered everything. Unfortunately...

"Hey sleepyhead, You might want to get up before everyone comes upstairs to see you guys fondling each other," Jake snickered leaning over us.

"What? Fondling? Wait, who everyone?" I questioned blinking my eyes at him.

"My dad and your dad and Sue and all of the other guys."

"Why?" I groaned.

"Just come on. Wake up Romeo here and get downstairs," he told me heading for the door.

"He's not my Romeo," I grumbled.

"You sure?"

YES. I wanted to tell him. It seemed like forever ago when Edward told me he just wanted to be friends, but I remembered it very well.

"You got two minutes. I can't stall them any longer," he sighed when I didn't answer.

"Thanks," I whispered as he left the room. I looked back down trying to pry myself away from Edward. One of my legs was trapped between Edward's and the other was hitched over his hip. One hand was gripping his shirt and the other clutched in his. I groaned when I realized I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay here forever and more.

"Oow!" I yelped when something jabbed the bottom of my foot.

"Hmmm," Edward stirred and his eyes flickered open. "Hi..."

"Hi..." I mumbled gawking at his hazy stare forgetting the pain in my foot.

"Hi..." he smiled.

"Hi..." I bit my lip. Our faces were way too close and if I leaned up just right our lips could touch. I closed my eyes and tried my best to pull away.

"How long were we asleep?"

"Uh, I don't know. But uh, people are here. Downstairs. My dad's home."

"Oh shhh- is it okay that I'm here. I didn't mean to stay, but you were clutching my shirt so tightly and I didn't want to leave you alone. I th-"

"No its okay. My dad asked you to drive me home so he'll be fine with it," I told him as we untangled ourselves, him falling off the bed. He lifted the covers and pulled out a sock before sitting down to pull it to. It must have been one of his toe nails that stabbed me. _Damn_.

"They let your dad out already? Shouldn't he stay over night?"

"Yeah, but my dad's worse than a mule."

"So that's where you get it," he grinned as I sent him a small glare.

"Oh Bellllaaaa," Quil's voice sounded from the stairs, and I groaned.

"Great."

"Um, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, but it can wait for a little while. But I definitely want to talk to you tonight though."

"Alright," I nodded completely unaware of what he wanted to talk about.

"Bella!" Quil snapped.

"I'm coming!" I yelled back, not wanting to deal with anyone. Even though I had just taken a four hour nap, I was exhausted.

I heard a low rumble of voices as I downed the stairs - slipping on the last one. Fortunately - or unfortunately or however it was - Edward caught me, and I shivered when his hands slipped under the hem of my shirt, feathering the skin there.

"Bella can you ever move without falling?" I heard Embry from the living room.

"Can you ever talk without sounding like an idiot?" I called back.

"Rarely," Sue piped up and I smiled when I saw her standing behind Dad where he was settled in his chair. The guys laughed at Embry's expense, and they all continued to joke around as I fell into the couch next to Paul, and Edward leaned against the arm rest.

"Remember when Pretty Boy and Blondie moved down here and Jake convinced us that they were stealing Bella away so we would come over here and spy on them," Jared laughed.

"And then again when her and Pretty Boy started dating!" Embry laughed.

"Yeah I'm surprised he hasn't made us come over here to spy on Edward and other the Cullens," Jared eyed Jake.

I looked down at my lap feeling Edward stiffen beside me. Normally I would have blushed, but there was nothing for me to blush about. Blushing would have meant possibilities of a _me and Edward_. But there weren't... I glanced back up at Jake and he shifted his weight thinking that this wasn't funny.

_Holy crow what cant they just drop that already_, Jake gave me an apologetic look and crossed his arms. He glanced between me and Edward and sighed_. And why can't those two just make out already? ...But she said if I did it... then she would have to too. Too toos? Two tos? Tutus? Too many tos... She would have to do it as well. _

"Bella? You in there?" Paul nudged me with his elbow.

"What? Yeah," I nodded feeling grateful that he hadn't scowled at me in a long, long time.

"Well that answers that question," Seth laughed. I looked around not knowing what was going on.

"Bells, you remember when you were five, and we went fishing and you wouldn't get in the boat without Jacob? You thought I – I was going to sink my side of the boat. You thought - thought that with Jake you could level it out," Dad hiccupped from laughing so hard.

"Yeah I remember..." I knew it was funny, but it wasn't that funny. It must have been the drugs kicking in...

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Jake's deep voice sounded in my ear. But it wasn't my ear he was whispering into...

"Remember that time we married them?" Billy grinned at Dad. "Though... they could be legally married now... right?" he wondered as I felt Paul get up from his seat. I didn't dare look up at them.

"Well we were captains of the boat, and they had parental consent… but I think you have to have a license to marry people, and they were only six. I think-"

As soon as the back door shut closed, the room exploded with whispers and movement. Billy wheeled himself toward the windows as the others hurried behind him.

"Whoa where's the fire?" Dad asked them, confused.

"Man, get over here. You're going to miss it. It's finally happening!" Billy yelled in a whisper.

"What's happening?" Edward asked me softly.

"I think Jake is telling Paul that he... likes him."

"Oh..." Edward shook his head. "I didn't know that they... I guess I'm not very observant."

"Not observant? Yeah right, it's ridiculous how observant you are..." I told him.

"Hmm..." he pushed off the arm rest and held out a hand to pull me up. "So we're all just gonna watch?'

"Yep I guess. I would shoo them away, but I know they've been waiting a long time for this."

"Oh..." he nodded.

I leaned up on the tips of my toes looking over Seth's shoulder. Paul and Jake were standing out in the yard and both of them fidgeting. Jake had his arms crossed rubbing the skin of his elbow, and Paul was snapping the rubber band on his wrist.

"What are they saying? Jared, read their lips!" Quil elbowed him.

"I don't know how to do that! I'm mocking people when I do it."

"Shut up, will you!" Sue scolded them, and they fell silent.

I could have told them what they were saying or at least thinking, but I didn't. I wasn't trying to listen either. I reached behind me and grabbed Edward's hand. This was their moment, and we were intruding enough already.

Jake was saying something, and Paul had his head bowed not looking at him.

"Five bucks, Jake chickens out," Embry whispered.

"Shut the hell up dude!" Seth whispered. "Don't jinx them!"

Paul's head snapped up and his mouth fell open. Jake's mouth was moving fast, and he looked panicked; and then Paul was smiling as he took a step closer to him. Everyone in the room held their breath as Paul took another step.

"Kiss him!" A loud voice shattered the silence and everyone including Jake and Paul jumped looking at Dad. "Kiss him!" he waved out the window, and Jake grinned taking the last step and placed his hands on Paul's face pulling his lips to his.

The room broke out into laughter and cheers. Someone opened the back door and the other guys ran out to congratulate them - jumping and tackling them to the ground. It was kind of beautiful how happy everyone was.

"Real nice," Sue smirked at Dad as he looked back at her confused.

"What?"

"Nothing," she leaned into his good side and he wrapped his arm around her.

"This definitely made up for today," I looked up at Edward who squeezed my hand.

"Good…"

"Do you think you can help me nail shut his windows?" Billy asked Dad as the others started to come back inside.

"I don't think that's gonna stop them," he snorted. "But I'll help you put a lock on your fridge..."

"No, they broke the last one, remember?" Billy said wheeling himself out of the way as Jake and Paul were pushed through the door.

"Oh right," he nodded sitting back down in his chair.

"Okay okay, stop pushing!" Jake grinned as he and Paul were thrown onto the couch, and the rest us settled into the floor. I did however blush this time when I accidentally sat on Edward. He was still holding my hand and when he sat down, I sort of …fell.

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," I winced at him.

"I want to be here," he reassured me by squeezing my hand. I turned back to Jake and Paul who were being harassed with I-told-you-so's and you're-idiots-for-taking-so-long-and-wasting-our-lives-with-so-much-tension's.

"I don't understand how you guys even knew," Paul covered his face with his free hand.

"Son, I might be physically retarded, but I'm not mentally. No offense Quil." Billy quipped.

"None taken," Quil shrugged. "Hey wait!" They continued to jabber and poke fun at each other.

"Alright, alright, I think that's enough for tonight gentlemen," Sue cleared her throat.

"No no, let themmm…" Dad yawned. "Stay."

"Time to go kids," Billy agreed starting to herd them out of the house. They all said their goodbyes with groans and pats on the back.

"Hey," Jake whispered pulling me away. "Let's hear it…"

"What?"

"Please don't make me say it, and I only want to hear it one time from you."

"Oh, well I soooo told you so. I think I deserve something as a reward for encouraging you to finally do it," I smiled.

"Yeah right, if you mean that it was the pathetic way you and Edward were acting that gave me enough courage…" Jake snorted. "I did it so now you have to do it. Go. I'll wait, so I can tell you I-told-you-so too."

"Uh that would be unnecessary," I bit my lip. "I sorta already did it this morning…"

"What do you mean?" he blinked.

"I mean I asked him. He said he just wants to be friends. The end."

"What?" he gaped. "That idiot! Wait, what do you mean you asked?"

"Jake… can we not do this now. I'm tired."

"This is ridiculous Bella. I'm coming over here tomorrow and we're going to deal with this once and for all."

"Alright fine," I surrendered. I was way too tired to talk him down or to even think about it. "See ya," I waved him off as he walked out the front door.

"Hey," Edward came up behind me. "I think I'm gonna take off too," he said softly in my ear.

"What about that thing that you wanted to talk about? Wasn't it important?" I asked him not really sure if I wanted to talk tonight. I didn't know if it was good important or bad...

"No, it can wait until tomorrow. You've had a really... long day," he hugged me, and I practically melted into him. "I'll come by before school?"

"Sure, sounds good," I nodded pulling away from him, and I watched him as he got in his shiny car and left.

"No, I don't like him like that. I don't have a crush on Edward," Dad mocked me in a high pitched voice.

"Dad he doesn't like-"

"Whatever you say Bells," he shook his head.

We settled in the kitchen where Dad and I rested at the kitchen table and Sue fiddled around the kitchen. I tried to help her, but she insisted that I needed to sit down and rest for a while. It wasn't until she set down a plate of macaroni and cheese did the question popped into my mind. How long was Sue staying here?

"Thanks, um if you weren't already invited, you're welcome to stay... overnight," I glanced at Dad who was smiling at me before looking over at Sue.

"Thanks Bella," she smiled. "I'm -" The front door flew open and Rose stormed into the room. She was breathing hard and her eyes were red. Jasper followed her in panting.

"You were shot?" she growled at Dad.

"But he's okay. See he's home already," Sue tried to be reassuring.

"If he was okay, why did he out his secret girlfriend who's a nurse? Why are you here if he's okay?" Rose asked angrily, tears threatening to form. "I can't believe you guys didn't call us or that I had to hear it from my mom who heard it from Mrs. Goldstein at the store."

"Rose..." Dad winced standing up as he pulled on her hand. "I'm sorry," he hugged her whispering something into her ear. They pulled away from each other and Rose wiped her eyes.

"Um, I'm sorry for my behavior," she sniffled as Sue nodded. "Well um, we should be going now," Rose mumbled continuing to wipe her face and turning away. She never liked people seeing her cry.

"Call if y'all need anything," Jasper nodded wrapping an arm around her. "See you in the morning Bells."

I waved feebly at them from my spot too tired and too hungry to be concerned about their feelings. Today had been an emotional rollercoaster with so many loops and downs. The only upsides had been that Dad was alright and that Jacob and Paul were finally together.

After I finished three helpings of mac and cheese, being shooed away from the dishes in the sink, and kissing Dad goodnight, I finally went to bed hoping that I was too tired to dream anything.

…

I digged my head into my pillow trying to get more comfortable. I was exhausted, but my body couldn't understand that. I'd been falling in and out of sleep for hours, and the smell of Edward lingered around me. I couldn't decide if I should wash the sheets now or treasure them while they lasted. Washing them would allow me to start my new mantra - _We're just friends. We're just friends_...

I nuzzled my face into my pillow not caring that this was completely stalkerish.

My alarm started beeping loudly, and I cringed at the awful noise slapping at it to turn it off. Then a different noise startled me, and I sat up blinking at the window. When Edward said that he'd come by the morning, he meant he was using the front door, right? When the tapping started again, I jumped up from the bed wiping away the sleepiness from my face and running a hand through my hair. It was still dark outside, and I could barely see Edward through the glass.

"Hey what are you -" I gasped. "Da-!"

"Shut up, please," he whispered harshly covering my mouth with his hand. James finished climbing through the window and I breathed deeply through my nose trying not to panic. He did say please, he wasn't going to hurt me. Probably… and I could always hurt him. I knew my self defense moves.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry about your dad, and I hope you'll keep an eye on my grandfather...?"

I nodded in response.

"Good, and I'm sorry for scaring you too. I never meant for any of this to happen. I needed the money for my girlfriend – she's pregnant, and selling drugs was the quickest way. But now some of the guys that I worked for are gonna come after me because they think I talked because I'm the new guy. I'm just - were leaving. But you'll tell him this too? That I am ashamed for doing this, and I'll let him know that I'm safe as soon as I am."

I nodded again and he removed his hand.

"Thank you," he muttered and climbed back out the window. I waited as he disappeared and the scraping noise stopped. Then I screamed.

"Dad! Dad!" I yelled hurrying down the stairs - my foot slipping causing me to skid down the last five steps. "Ow..."

"Bella?" Sue spoke softly from the living room. "Bella are you okay?" she asked entering the kitchen sleepily.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied standing up - a jolt of pain surging in my ankle.

"How about you sit down and we put some ice on it?" she helped me hobble to the kitchen table.

"Bells?" Dad grumbled coming down the stairs. "What happened?" His arm was still in the sling, but he was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, and I tried my best not to wonder how he changed or _exactly _who helped him.

"She fell down the last few stairs. Her ankles swollen, but that's a good sign. She probably didn't break it, but she might need to wear an ace bandage today and keep off of it as much as possible," Sue spouted off as she cradled my ankle with an ice pack in her lap.

"How you feeling?" he asked patting the top of my head, but still looking at Sue, grinning.

"Shouldn't I be asking you?" I snorted. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"Fine and dandy," he grinned pulling things out of cabinets with his good hand. "I'm thinking that cereal is good enough for today."

"Sounds good," I knitted my eyes at him. I'd never seen him so... cheery. Maybe it was the drugs again. I didn't want to ruin his mood, but I had to tell him about James.

"I see you've taken your meds this morning," Sue laughed.

"Actually I haven't taken them yet. Maybe I'm just in a good mood," he smirked pouring out three bowls.

"Uh Dad?"

"Yes...?" he handed me and Sue each a spoon.

"The reason I was running down the stairs was because someone was in my room."

"What?" he froze.

"James - he wanted to talk. He told me he was sorry and he was leaving Forks. And he asked me to make sure Mac was okay."

"Damn it, are you okay? Did he hurt you? How'd he even get in?"

"I opened the window."

"Why would you do that?"

"I thought it was..." I trailed off.

_*Knock Knock*_

I breathed grateful for the distraction.

"I'll get it," Sue got up carefully placing my foot in her chair. I felt my stomach flip when I heard his voice.

"What else did he say?" Dad asked still focused on James.

"He said that he got his girlfriend pregnant and that's why he starting selling. He was also worried that some of the guys he worked for were going to come after him."

"Edward's here to see Bella," Sue came back into the kitchen with Edward who looked sheepish.

"Babe can you run up and get the painkillers and my gun?" Dad asked Sue. I stiffened at the awkward word – _babe, _and Edward stopped short shifting in the doorway. Dad continued eating his cereal as Sue slipped out of the room. "Mmm Edward, have a seat." he chewed waving at the chair next to him.

"Uh good morning, Chief Swan," Edward nodded – nervous for some reason…

"Oh, don't worry. The gun's not for you," I told him realizing what he walked in on.

"Are you sure he didn't touch you?"

"Dad, I'm fine. He didn't hurt me," I rolled my eyes. I knew he was just being a concerned father.

"What happened?" Edward looked serious, especially sitting next to my father.

"James – the kid we got the lead on the case from, visited Bella this morning in her room," Dad explained nearly growling.

"What!" Edward looked between me and Dad. I wondered if he thought we were joking.

"It was nothing," I rolled my eyes again, frustrated. "He just wanted to apologize and explain everything. It was nothing," I repeated myself as Dad huffed.

"So Edward... What are you doing here so early?" he asked seeming very nonchalant.

"Here," Sue appeared with a glass of water and a couple of pills.

"Thank you," he swallowed them quickly, before picking up his gun.

"Um, Bella left her truck at school yesterday so I was going to drive her to school. But since - well I guess you aren't going to school today," Edward answered watching as Dad checked the clip. Sue lifted my ankle and placed it back in her lap when she sat down.

"Oh I'm still going," I told them.

"No you're not." I expected to hear that from Dad or Sue. But not Edward.

"Excuse me?" I looked at him.

"You can't go to school when you've just sprained your ankle. Especially since you had an intruder in your room this morning," he argued, running a hand through his hair.

I huffed, my eyes hurting much so much rolling. "And why not?"

"Because you're not supposed to be walking around that much. You'll end up doing more damage to your ligaments. You've had a rough day yesterday and even this morning. Just take a break and rest for a while," Edward exhaled.

"It's not even that bad of a sprain…"

"Doesn't it hurt when you do that?" Edward asked tilting his head a little.

"What? No…" I tried to wiggle my ankle but it was numb from the ice pack that Sue was still holding.

"No, I meant your eyes…" he continued looking at me with concern. I blinked at him until I understood what he meant, and then I couldn't help myself. I started laughing.

I ended up staying home. Much to my dismay, everyone was right and I was exhausted. Everything was taking its toll of me, and for once, it had nothing to do with my curse. I was drained, bushed, and every other clichéd word for tired. I felt like all of them.

The solution? Laying around in the living room with Dad watching movies and playing Nintendo as Sue nursed us and fed us some crazy Quileute tribal food that we only saw at Thanksgiving. It was kind of a surreal and strange bonding experience for the three of us. As much as I loved Sue, it was still kind of unsettling when drug-induced Dad interacted with her. Like when we started watching _You've Got Mail _and Dad started to tear up and told Sue that the Cranberries' song _Dreams _was my song apparently. But this was kind of perfect. The whole situation – Dad and Sue's relationship brought out into the light and me trying to adapt to it. It couldn't have happened in a better way… perfect, but twisted.

By three o'clock, I was pacing the living room. My ankle was fine, and even though I had the Dad and Sue distraction, Edward still kept sneaking back into my head. He still needed to _talk_ and I didn't like guessing what that could be about.

_*knock knock*_

I groaned at the noise. All day the doorbell had been ringing and the door knocking with people appearing with casseroles, baked goods, and offerings of help. Word of mouth had gotten around, and if that hadn't done it, the _Forks Gazette_ finished the job. On the front page was a formal picture of Dad in his uniform with a headline of '_Chief Injured in Line of Duty_' and a lengthy story of how he was a hero and gave the PAPD its lead to bring down Port Angeles' own drug lord. Dad blushed and I put it on the refrigerator using all of our magnets to hold it up.

"Hello," I plastered on my best fake smile as I opened the door. I was grateful for everyone's support, but I could only be so nice to so many people in day. "Edward?" I looked up surprised, and my smile turned into a real one.

"Hey I brought you your truck," he said holding out my keys. I glanced behind him at my truck, parked in the driveway.

"Oh thanks," I'd forgotten about it after I'd given him my keys this morning, but then I had expected Rose or Jaz to drive it home.

"You didn't miss much at school. The trig test is Friday though… so how're you feeling?" he scratched his face looking down at my ankle.

"Uh good…just a little confined," I stammered still a little embarrassed from this morning. Thankfully I had changed out of my pajamas around lunchtime.

"Good, well I should get going…"

"Wait, what about that thing you wanted to talk about?" I stopped him. It had been nagging me all day there was no way I was letting it go.

"Oh, well I thought it could wait. I don't want to overwhelm you or-"

"Edward," I cut him off. "Maybe I want you to overwhelm me."

"Uh…" Edward stuttered and I stopped to think what I just said. _What did I just say_?

"Do you want to go for a walk? I need the fresh air," I suggested eagerly.

Edward led the way holding my hand telling me about his day and joking how bad it sucked that I wasn't there._Just friends, just friends, just friends… _I had to keep telling myself or otherwise I wasn't going to make it. He took us behind my house toward the wooded path that led to his house. We fell silent when we got to the meadow, and we settled down in the high grass of wildflowers in our usual spots. It was so peaceful that I'd almost forgotten about the thing Edward needed to talk about... Actually I didn't forget. I couldn't. For some reason, I needed to talk to him about it. It just felt important.

I picked at the grass as I watched Edward. I could see flickers of movement behind his closed eyelids, and his fingers were tapping in a flowing rhythm against his chest. I tried with all my might to open his mind or try to at least will him to speak.

"Is there something wrong?" Edward spoke, his eyes still closed.

"What?" I froze, surprised. _Did I do that?_

"You're practically mowing the lawn over there," he smirked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just anxiously waiting for you to tell me whatever it is you need to talk about."

His eyes popped open then, and he seemed nervous as he sat up turning towards me.

"Oh... You really do want to talk about that huh?" he stammered.

"Yeah it seemed important," I urged him to continue.

"It is... I just keep putting it off. Sometimes I get really nervous. Usually it's strangely balanced with confidence, yet now I'm nervous and I wish I could switch over to being confident like sleep mode or some shit," he babbled on.

"Edward, what are you saying?" I asked him confused. I actually almost regretted asking him. "Just spit it out…"

"Yesterday I should have told you that I didn't want to be your friend anymore," he blurted out, and I had to let it sink in to understand what he said. _Just friends, just friends, not friends_ - my mantra started to skip falling off its track. My heart felt like it was doing the same thing. Edward didn't want to be my friend.

"Oh…" I sat up turning away from him. This was really uncomfortable, and I was angry that he was doing this here. Leaving me heartbroken in my meadow? In the middle of the woods? Genius.

"Bella-"

"I really wish we did this maybe closer to my house, so I won't have to walk home by myself this late," I lied. Late? It was maybe 4 o'clock. I was pretty pissed that I was going to have to stumble home blindly because I'll be crying so hard. I hated crying now. Nothing about it was stress relieving anymore. It just hurt and made me feel like I couldn't breathe and my eyes actually ached.

"Bella wait," he grabbed my elbow when I moved to stand up. "Wait, that's not what I meant. Wait please!"

"What," I choked back my tears, not wanting to make him feel guilty for making me cry. How could that have meant something else?

"I - I shit, this is not how this is supposed to happen. I'm supposed to be smooth and romantic. Not being a total dick," he scolded himself.

"What?" I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. He looked back up at me and his face softened.

"I love you," he spoke slowly. "I'm in love with you. I want to be your boyfriend. I want you."

"What?" I blinked confused.

"Can I say it any other way?" he grinned. I continued staring back him. Was this happening? Really, actually happening? In real life? My life? "Bella? You're supposed to say something back..."

"I - I," I stammered smiling as he pulled me closer to him.

"You what?" he whispered. Our noses were almost touching, and I could feel his warm breath on my skin.

"I love you t-" His lips were on mine, and I could feel a spark deep inside me tingle. Everything was tingling actually. His lips were soft, and his hands caressed my face, and I couldn't help but press up against him wanting more.

"Why are you crying?" he breathed pulling away, resting his forehead against mine. His thumbs moved back and forth against my cheeks wiping away my tears.

"I don't know," I mumbled gasping for air. I hadn't realized I even was. I guess Edward _did_ overwhelm me. "Will you make it stop?"

"I'll try," he grinned dropping his lips back to mine.

* * *

AN: I know I'm late I suck. There's more fluffiness to this scene, but I figured you'd rather have this now and that later. I got that from all of your discrete and cryptic reviews. : )

I hope it was what you guys were hoping for and y'all have a good weekend.

THANKS FOR READING!


	19. You Were Right

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

AN: starts right off from where they were last chapter : )

* * *

**You Were Right  
Chapter 17**

"I can't believe you like me," I mumbled lying against Edward's side.

"No, I love you, but I don't mind proving it to you," he kissed along my jaw. One spot tickled and I swatted at him with my free hand. The other was trapped in his as he traced every inch of it.

We laid in our meadow snuggling each other. During intervals of kissing, we'd just breathe silently catching our breaths or tell each other little secrets we had about the other. I had been feeling so much in the past two days. I'd been terrified, angry, sad, nervous, confused, happy. Id never thought that I would be feeling this... feeling. Ever. It was perfect and I never wanted to leave. I wanted to stop time and live in this moment forever.

"Everyone kept telling me that you did like me, and when I finally decided to do something about it, you told me you wanted to be my friend," I nudged him with my foot.

"I'm sorry!" he whined into my neck. "Okay, my plan was to turn our friendship into a relationship without you realizing it, and I couldn't do that if you kept asking me if I was your friend..."

"Where did you even come up with that idea?"

"Television..."

"Of course."

"Hey it worked!"

"No it didn't..."

"Yes it did. You're my girlfriend now, aren't you?" he kissed the center of my palm.

"Am I?" I grinned, failing to be teasing.

"You better be," he nipped one of my fingers. "Because when I get home I'm putting it on facebook."

"What does that even mean?"

"I'm going to change my relationship status from single to in a relationship with Bella Swan - oh I should put Imes," he joked.

"Oh..."

"Oh? ..." he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Are you friends on facebook with people in Forks?"

"Yes, I had to accept their friend requests because I was looking for your page. But you don't have one... I should make one for you because people back in Chicago will think that I made you up."

"Right."

"Just watch... And why don't you want people in Forks to know about us?"

"Because as soon everyone knows, they're going to either flirt with you even more or ask you why you're with me or both..."

"What?"

"It's true. As soon as Ben and Angela went official, guys started noticing her, and with me? Everyone's going to wonder what you're doing with the school freak..."

"No ones going to drive us apart," he promised before kissing me. "And stop calling yourself a freak."

"Okay," I mumbled into his lips. He kissed me again, and his lips were soft and firm. Then I would be kissing him, and he would pull away shuddering a little to catch his breath.

"The first time I realized that I really liked you was at the hospital after the accident when you yelled at me. I'd called you a stalker because you were everywhere, but it was because I was always looking for you. And I didn't even realize that until after Emmett yelled at me for calling you pretentious."

"I knew you were trouble from the first time I saw you," I told him as he laughed. "I'm not even joking. You were the most beautiful person I ever saw in my entire life, and I knew you had to be a jerk."

I _giggled_ when he pinched me, and I couldn't hate myself for it - not when I was feeling so good. This was what being high felt like – you're so happy it makes you so dizzy.

"So are we telling people or not?" he tried being serious, but the smile on his face was plastered on there no doubt matching my own.

"No but that might not matter anyways... I won't be able to keep my hands off of you." I blushed when his eyes narrowed, and I inhaled deeply before he took my breath away again.

Was this normal for other people? To fall so hard and fast? Being so comfortable and honest with each other? Was this what all the normal kids felt too?

"So..." I breathed catching my breath. "Is this normal?"

"What?" he panted back looking confused.

"Is it always so... intense?"

"What do you mean?"

"With your other girlfriends? The kissing?" I blushed. I had no problem performing the act, but I couldn't even say the word. A lot of things were like that when it came to Edward.

"I uh," he looked away. "I wouldn't know."

"What do you mean?"

"I've never had one before."

"You've never had a girlfriend before?" I gaped at him.

"Please don't look at me like that. I'm embarrassed enough as -"

"Are you kidding me?" I sat up to really look at him.

"I told you I was a nerd at my old school. No one liked me very much."

"I don't care if you were on the chess team, you – none of the nerdy girls liked you?"

"It was a club, not a team," he muttered.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Why are you so angry?"

"I don't know," I yelled. "Because they're idiots, did they not _see_ you?"

I was angry because those girls in Chicago were so dumb. They had no idea what they had and they made him feel like a loser – that he wasn't worthy. He'd never had a girlfriend before. It was still mind boggling. He'd never even – ... ?

"You're lying."

"I wish I was..."

"You have to be. How many other girls have you kissed?"

"You're doing this on purpose," he muttered.

"Was I … Was I your first kiss?" I asked as he covered his face with his hands. "Edward! I can not believe this. This is so not normal. Your first kiss is supposed to be awkward and strange. Not this."

"I never thought you'd be complaining about me being a good kisser," he grinned.

"Ugh, everything about you is so perfect."

"The only thing perfect about me is you..."

"Shut up," I rolled my eyes at him.

"That's what I'm trying to do," he whispered before his lips found mine again. "Wait…"

"Yes…?"

"This isn't normal? How many guys have you kissed? How many boyfriends?"

"Jasper – two kisses when I was fifteen. That's it. Hey… if you get a chance, you should kiss Alice because then you would understand-"

"Ew, I'm not kissing Alice!"

"Fine, kiss Rosalie."

"No, that's worse. My brother's girlfriend?"

"Well, take your pick because those are your only two opt-"

"I could kiss Lauren Mallory… but I'm not sure if I could tell the difference between-"

"How about you just take my word for it," I cut him off. He smiled when I wrinkled my nose at him, and I couldn't help but kiss him again, pulling on his upper lip.

Eventually the sky grew darker and we had to part. As I convinced him to let me walk home by myself, he convinced me to keep our relationship a secret until we were at school tomorrow. He didn't really have to convince me – I was still nervous about what the other kids would say to Edward. Could they convince him to leave? Surely not, if Edward was feeling half of what I did when I was kissing him.

The next morning Rose was waiting for me in my kitchen eating a breakfast burrito. She chewed silently as I grabbed a granola bar and drank a small glass of orange juice. Sue had left late last night and Dad was still sleeping – his body still sore.

"So tell me everything that I've missed," she said as we climbed into my truck.

"Last week, James gave me a hundred dollar bill because of the cookies I made for his grandfather," I explained Dad's case to her and how he was injured, skimming over the small part about James in my room.

"I still don't understand _why _he had to be there…" she grumbled about Dad.

We pulled into the half empty school parking lot and headed for our usual spot on one of the picnic tables.

"Yeah, well you missed the best part. Jake and Paul are officially dating now." I never once told her and Jasper about Jacob or Paul being gay. With Rose being a _rose_, she noticed when certain bees weren't buzzing around her. Once Rose knows something, Jasper just automatically knows too. It was some kind of twin-kinetic power.

"What? How did it happen? When and where? Go!"

"Right before you came over," I tried my best to give her all of the details she wanted. How everyone was so happy for them. How sweet they were together. And how bad I felt that their moment wasn't private.

"I can't believe I missed it… so how's everything with Charlie and Sue?"

"Good, Dad being on drugs really helped," I laughed, telling everything we did yesterday.

"I still feel kinda bad about my… what I said."

"It's okay…" I waited for her to say or ask something about Edward. I saw his shiny car enter the parking lot and I tried to aim my excited smile at Jasper and Alice who were making their way towards us, making sure I wasn't going to give anything away.

"Hey Bella," Alice grinned. "So I went by your house yesterday, but your dad said that you were out… with Edward."

"Uh yeah, you guys should know that I sort of talked to Edward the other day. He said that he just wanted to be friends… so yeah," I told them chewing on the inside of my cheek. I wasn't lying exactly, but I was telling the truth badly and I hoped none of them were watching me carefully.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Emmett called from the parking lot, and just from the huge smile on his face, he knew everything. _I'm so excited and I just can't hide it. I'm about to loose control and I think I like it. Hurry up Edward, hurry up hurry up. I can't wait to tell Rose. _

Edward walked toward us with his head bowed as Emmett danced around him. No doubt he was urging him to move faster.

"What's up with Emmett?" Jasper laughed.

"He looks like he has to go to the bathroom," Alice giggled.

"I just hope it's not gas."

I looked up at Rose and laughed because she was being serious. Emmett jumped away from Edward and hurried toward us.

"Hello everyone, hello Bella, glad to see you're feeling better," Emmett wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"How come Bella gets a separate greeting and your girlfriend's included with _everyone_?" Rose asked, teasing.

"I'm sorry Rose, how are you this morning?" he leaned over to kiss her cheek as she turned away.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" she asked with a smirk.

"I'm happy because everyone else is happy. Happiness is a disease, did you know?"

"I think disease is the wrong word."

"I think he's right," I agreed with him. Edward had joined us and I couldn't look at him as Jasper started talking to him. I think I had mistaken excitement for anxiousness. My stomach felt heavy and my chest was pounding. Why was I so nervous now? Yesterday I could barely keep my face off his, now I couldn't even look at it, and the feeling of his eyes on me wasn't helping.

"Not all diseases are contagious though. Happiness being contagious doesn't make it a disease," Rose argued. "And being happy doesn't harm anyone."

"I think that being too happy could be bad for you."

"Of course you do," Rose rolled her eyes at me.

"Too much of anything can be bad for you," I cleared my throat. It felt like Edward had heat vision, and I was panicking.

"You okay Bella?" Alice asked as I hugged myself trying to hold myself together. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Uh yeah, I'm-" I stopped when I felt his hands cradle my face and his lips quickly pushed against mine. I pushed back as my hands wandered his torso pulling him towards me. The feeling of his hard stomach and the gentle firmness of his lips with the smell of cinnamon pine trees made me lightheaded. It was a sensory overdrive of Edward, and I couldn't help but like it.

"Hi," he grinned pulling away a little.

"Hi…" My cheeks were hurting, I was smiling so hard.

"You okay? It looked like you were going to bail on me."

"I think I was…"

"See see, did you see that?" Emmett shrieked softly bouncing up and down.

"You told him?" I raised an eyebrow at Edward.

"I didn't I swear," he stood back holding up his hands.

"Hey! What the hell? I ask what I miss and you leave _this_ out?" Rose punched my arm.

"I told you not to think about it or to think in Spanish at least," Edward shook his head at Emmett.

"I'm sorry Rose. I was supposed to wait until everyone got here…"

"I can't help it. I can't think in Spanish when I get too excited," Emmett defended himself.

"Hey, you knew and you didn't tell me?" Rose turned onto Emmett.

I felt someone tugging on my hoodie and I stepped backwards away from Rose and Emmett. I stretched my hand behind me searching for his; when his fingers interlocked with mine I turned and smiled at Edward. He nodded at something ahead of us, and I watched as Jasper twirled Alice leaning down to kiss her quickly before they entered the school.

"Don't even think about trying to spin me around," I joked.

"How do you feel about PDA?"

"I like the affection, but I don't like the attention from everyone else," I winced.

"Duly noted," he nodded as his hand tightened around mine.

We separated before first period and I had to suppress the urge to kiss Edward goodbye. The anxious feeling didn't return when I sat down in first period, and a few people were staring at me, but it wasn't because they noticed how happy I was or that I had a boyfriend. They were curious about Dad, and I had totally forgotten about him being shot. It felt like so long ago even though it had only been two days. Though we were already getting passed it, I think it would take Forks years. Dad will surely be remembered for it and probably honored for it for the rest of his life or even longer.

Because I hadn't seen Edward in the hallways between classes, I was excited and nervous to see him again. I hated that I had become one of those gross stereotypes of a teenage girl. Clingy. Googily-eyed. Giggling. Grrr… I didn't like it, but I loved Edward and he loved me. It was so awkward thinking that and for it to be true.

I entered the lunchroom heading straight for our table not caring that my stomach was growling. Edward smiled at me and reached for my hand under the table, my skin already tingling. He nudged his tray at me and I picked up an apple, grateful.

"You would not believe the day I'm having," Rose complained.

"Yeah, right?" Alice shared a look with her.

"What's wrong?"

"You don't know how many girls have asked me if Edward _liked _them. Apparently he's been smiling at them in that… special way – giving them signals," she laughed.

"Oh yeah, me too. I've had a few too," Emmett agreed, Jasper nodding.

"Oh… I'm sorry?" Edward shrugged unsure of what to say. I shook my head not knowing what to do either.

"What you need to do is tell everyone-"

"Uh no thanks Alice, but we will not be another Emmett and Rosalie - making out in the lunchroom," I cut her off.

"Oh! Oh! I can tell you how I knew now!" Emmett gasped excited as we all turned too look at him. "So last night, Edward comes strolling in right before dinner - I mean we are sitting down and Esme is pouting and everything - then I see that his lips are all red and puffy. Dad noticed too and seriously started asking him questions like if he was stung by a bee..." he choked laughing. "His face turned so red when I joked that he'd been macking with Bella."

"What?" I gasped horrified.

"Then we celebrated," Emmett laughed. I looked at Edward incredulously.

"It's true. Esme made cookies," he nodded. Shouldn't parents be weary of their son's girlfriend? Not be encouraging or celebrating? Everything about Edward surprised me. And I think I liked that a lot.

"So who should we tell first?" Alice looked around her.

"I don't want to tell people like I'm bragging."

"I do," Edward grinned.

"Oooh, why don't you just change your facebook status to _in a relationship_. You don't have to even put Bella's name on there," she suggested.

"What is it with this facebook stuff?"

"Here you can use my phone. Do it now," Alice demanded, thrusting her phone at him. Edward looked down at the phone in his hand to me, asking if it was okay.

"Go ahead," I assured him. Really I wanted everyone to know that freaky Bella Swan got the beautiful Edward Cullen, but then the accusations would start and we'd only been together for not even one day.

"After school I'm going to show you my facebook at my house," Edward told me, concentrating on what he was doing.

"No way Jose, I'm not going to your house. No way am I facing your parents - at least for a while."

"Jose? Is that supposed to be a pet name or something?" he grinned handing Alice her phone back.

"Yes, I'm testing them out, Sunshine."

"Hey!" Emmett and Rose echoed.

"I will pinch you," she growled.

"I didn't really like that one anyways," Edward cringed trying to smile.

"Edward, you have a girlfriend?" Lauren asked sitting down with her phone out. The others were starting to trickle over and I started to send glares at everyone to keep their mouths shut.

"Uh yes," he grinned.

"Why?" she practically whined.

"Because I… love her."

"Who is it?"

"Who do _you_ think it is?" Jasper asked.

"Ugh," she rolled her eyes at him and turned away. I glanced around the room and saw a lot of girls' faces drop whispering and staring down at their phones.

"Wow, word spreads fast. How do they even know?"

"Facebook alerts. They-" Alice started.

"Never mind, I don't want to know," I sighed.

For the rest of the day, Edward and I did our best to keep our hands off of each other. No one registered the connection of me and Edward's new girlfriend except for Ben and Angela who gave us knowing smiles during biology. In gym, Edward pretended to help me with my trig homework when really we were whispering stupid things to each other while Emmett sat there watching and smiling at us like a creepy person. After school Edward and Emmett were waiting for us parked in the front of my house. Edward was right outside my door before I even put the truck in park.

"Hey, you drive too-"

He silenced me quickly and my mind went blank leaving only the feeling of his lips for me to concentrate on.

"Hey," Edward mumbled pulling away.

"Uh, hello," I cleared my throat.

"What were you saying?"

"I uh don't remember…"

"Hmm, so your computer? It's upstairs right," he asked pulling my book bag away from me, slinging it across his back, and closing my door behind me.

"Yes, but hey, maybe I don't want you carrying my books."

"You don't?"

"I know you're new to this whole boyfriend etiquette thing, but maybe as the girlfriend I get to decide that I get to carry _your _books," I tried teasing him.

"Hmm, we'll see how that works out at school, since you know, we're still a secret."

"Oh…"

"Right, so you can carry my books when I can kiss you at school because seven hours is just too long for me. "

"Okay," I cringed leading him inside and up to my room. I didn't really want to carry his books anyway.

I watched as Edward clicked and opened up his account. My eyes widened reading everything I could. Little details that Edward wrote about himself that he wanted people to know. Unfortunately I already knew all of it but a few of his favorite books and movies. In his profile picture, he was at a baseball game or something and wearing a White Sox cap. That was probably his problem right there. He was hiding his hair – his moneymaker – but still Edward and still unfairly beautiful. He clicked on something else and a list of comments popped up under _Edward Cullen is listed as in a relationship._ There were comments from girls of Forks like:

_Who's the lucky girl? _

_U dont have 2 limit urself 2 1 girl, U no? ; )_

_Is it serious? _

Then there were some from people I didn't recognize.

_Is this a joke?_

_We want pictures!_

_Oh Eddie, you convinced a girl to go out with you. Congrats man, or wait... Is it a dude? LOL  
_

I gawked at all of their comments. Edward would either laugh or stiffen.

"I told you they wouldn't believe me."

"I don't even want to know what they'll think of me..." I grumbled.

"Oh they'll think you're hot," he shook his head as I gaped at him. "What? You are..."

Hearing Edward say that set something off inside me. I lunged toward him. Our noses bumped against each other as our lips met, and I kissed him rough and needy. I felt Edward move forward off the chair as he hands continued to roam up and down my back. I pulled him closer and -

"Bells?" Dad's voice startled me.

I sat up straight knocking Edward away from me. I'd totally forgotten that Dad was home – he would be for the rest of the week before returning to the office. He must have been taking a nap when we got here. It hadn't even registered when I saw his car in the driveway. I felt dizzy as I tried to act normal sitting down in the desk chair. I pressed my clothes and combed my hair with my fingers trying to rid any evidence that I was just making out with a boy in my room.

"In here Dad," I called back. I glanced down at Edward as he leaned against my bed looking dazed.

"Hey," Dad poked his head in the room peeking around the room. "Jake's coming over later."

"For second dinner?" I inwardly groaned. Jacob was just going to annoy the hell out of about Edward, and then I would have to tell him that he was my boyfriend. Then more annoyance.

"Yeah," he laughed. "You kids have homework?"

"Yes," I breathed nervously.

"Okay," he nodded pushing the door open as he left the room.

"I think…" Edward whispered crawling up to me on his knees. "I'm going to go…" He kissed me and I gripped the chair so I wouldn't fling myself at him again.

"Okay," I whimpered when he pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I'm just - your dad scares me."

After a few more goodbye kisses and a promise to officially tell my dad that we were dating, Edward left. I walked him out and slumped down on the couch next to Dad. He was watching ESPN and I tried concentrating on the program.

"From now on, the door stays all the way open."

"Okay," I nodded, my cheeks burning.

Before I could escape any more embarrassment, there was a loud key scrapping noise at the front door. Jacob was early…

"Hello family," he grinned as he got the door open. "You guys should leave your door unlocked so people like me can get in easier."

"Right," I snorted. Though I doubt anyone would try to rob the Chief of Police.

"You're too late," Dad called out to him.

"What?" I looked at him confused.

"What? No way!"

"They were just making out upstairs earlier…"

"What!" Jacob jumped next to me on the couch excited. I groaned covering my face with a pillow trying to hide from them. "There's only one thing I want to hear from you right now, Bella Swan… Three little words…"

I peeked from under the pillow narrowing my eyes at him. There was no way I was ever kissing Edward again... Okay that was a terrible lie.

* * *

AN: yuck. I know I'm late. This chapter was just trouble for me – everything was wrong and there was too much fluff or it was too cheesy. I cut back on a lot of it but I also had to decide where I was going with the story… so just to warn you, theres only maybe? a couple of chapters left and an epilogue. Unless you guys want the angsty version… trust me no one wants that.

On a cheery note: _Eclipse_ comes out in a couple of days so I'm sure yall are pretty excited for that. Um, is it just me or does anyone else think that Edward reminds you of a shark… you know with the dark eyes and the angry looks at Jacob… its going to give me hell when Shark Week comes around and I think "_mmm theres something hot about that shark"_ haha. Gah I know somethings wrong with me.

I'll try faster with the next chapter, but just so you know, I've started writing two other stories as well. I know! But I'm finishing this one first before I post one of them…

THANKS FOR READING!


	20. Talk

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There may (or may not) be strong language or subjects in this chapter...

* * *

**Talk  
Chapter 18**

It was finally Saturday which meant I finally got to sleep in and spend the whole day with Edward without any body watching us. I stretched my arms and the rest of my body feeling the warm softness of my sheets. This was one of the best things in my life - waking up comfortably in bed knowing that I didn't have to actually get up. The only thing wrong with this was that when I blinked at the clock I had to blink again.

_7:12 AM_

What are the gods doing to me? One of the days I'm actually allowed to sleep in and I'm fully awake? I closed my eyes trying to ease back into unconsciousness, but it was too late. I slinked out of bed and stomped down the stairs, frustrated with myself. I glanced in the living room to see two people sitting on the couch. My body froze, and my eyes flicked around the room searching for the third.

"He's not here..." Emmett's voice startled me.

"Uh, why are you two here this early?"

"My mom's got some errands in Seattle, so Rose and I are tagging along. I came over to make sure Rose was ready to go. My mom should be here in ten minutes," he explained.

"Charlie went out for breakfast, just so you know," Rose added shifting herself in his lap. "With Sue I think..."

"Okay," I grumbled walking into the kitchen - still not really understanding why they were here. I ate a banana slowly trying to urge time to speed up and wondering what time Edward wakes up on Saturdays.

"Hey we're going to wait outside for Esme," Rose told me, standing in the doorway.

"Okay," I nodded biting back a smirk. I wanted to joke about her need for a parent to chaperone them, but I didn't want to say it with Emmett right behind her.

"Here, take this," he handed me a key. "I'm supposed to call him, but I think Edward will like the wake up call from you."

"Okay, what time should I call him?"

"No don't call him. Just go over and wake him up. Dad's at work and nobody else is home so just let yourself in…"

"Oh okay," I looked down at the key deciding what I should do. If I woke up to find Edward in my room - well I've had but if he was watching me... ? Which I've done. But Sleeping Edward was too much to pass up. Hopefully he won't think it's too stalkerish.

As soon as Rose and Emmett left, I bounded up the stairs to get dressed. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, and it was still only 7:45 by the time I was done. I pulled on my boots leaving a note for Dad and locked the backdoor behind me. Again I tried taking my time through the woods, but I was too excited to see Edward. Thankfully the trees kept most of the rain off of me as it started to come down harder. When I got to the end of the wooded path I had to run to up to the back porch for coverage. I slipped the key into the lock and it opened easily for me.

The house was dark and quiet, and I felt a little awkward. The only thing I could hear was the pelting rain outside and the dryer running in the laundry room. I was starting to regret my decision to come here. I felt like a trespasser. I stepped quietly up the stairs to his room. I had been in that room hundreds of times but only once when it was Edward's room.

I pushed the door open wincing at the creaky noise that the hinges made and peeked at Edward. He was lying on his stomach and his arms wrapped around his pillow and one of his feet had kicked itself out from under the white sheets. I tiptoed closer unsure of how to wake him.

"Edward?" I cleared my throat. I leaned over to get a look at his face but it was buried deep in his pillow, and I wondered how he was able to breathe that way. "Edward?" I whispered, gently touching his shoulder.

"Mmm Bella," he mumbled sleepily.

"Hey, Emmett sent me to-"

His hand shot out and gripped my arm pulling me down on the bed. My head knocked into his, but that didn't stop him from kissing me. He rolled onto his back pulling me with him until I was lying down next to him, and then he rolled again forward as I settled onto my back. It was quick, but I hadn't really noticed because not once did Edward's lips pull away from mine. I reveled the feeling of Edward's weight on me and my hands traveled his back down to his waist. My skin came into contact with his and my hands found new places to trace. His hips shifted against mine, and I groaned embarrassingly loud, spreading my legs wider for him. Edward froze pulling away a little, and when I looked back up at him, his eyes were wide. He blinked a couple of times and opened his mouth trying to find words.

"I'm awake?" he croaked.

"Yes," I breathed nervously. What did he mean by that?

"Um excuse me," he stuttered jumping off of me and disappearing out of the room. The only thing I could comprehend was that his shirt was gone. _Where did it go?_

I sat up pulling myself off his bed. My body felt numb, and the fire that had started in my lower stomach was still burning. I found Edward's shirt on the couch; it was still warm and soft and smelled of Edward. I stared back at the doorway confused. Why had he run away? Did I do something wrong? I was an idiot. This was a terrible idea. I should have called him or waited until noon at least. I was going to fricking kill Emmett. Why had I listened to him?

I left Emmett's key on Edward's dresser on my way out of his room. I could hear the shower running down the hall, and I headed for the stairs. Maybe if I left and pretended that I was never there, Edward would forget. He'd think that he'd made it all up... but I would remember it for the rest of my life.

By the time I got outside, I was crying. I'd never felt so rejected, and that was saying something because I was used to being the outcast. I passed the meadow quickly not wanting to cry there anymore, especially now that I had too many happy memories there of Edward.

"Bella?" Edward's yell startled me. I stopped and listened for him. "Bella? Ow shit..."

"Here..." I called back feebly. I turned to gape at him swearing and tiptoeing through the trees. He was wearing pajama bottoms and another white undershirt with his glasses on.

"Shit," he mumbled wincing. He hopped on one foot for a moment and brushed off the bottom of his other foot. His hair was dripping wet, barefoot, and not even wearing a jacket - in the middle of November.

"What are you doing!" I yelled at him, and he looked up at me startled, shivering. His eyes were clearer or brighter with his glasses.

"What are _you _doing? I excuse myself and then you leave and I have to come out here to apologize and - shit, have you been crying?" His face softened and stepped slowly to me.

"No," I tried.

"Shit, did you-" he closed his eyes with a painful expression. "I'm sorry if you - I didn't mean - I thought I was dreaming."

"What?"

"I thought I was still asleep when we were... in my room, but then you moaned and you've _never_ done that before in my dreams and then I realized that you were real and I was awake. I panicked and then I took a cold shower and then you were gone." His hands had been moving quickly as he spoke, but they fell to his side like dead weight as he shrugged, finishing his rant. I blushed when his words settled in and made some sense.

"You must be freezing," I changed the subject turning for his house. I didn't say another word as we got to his house and he hurried up the stairs to put on warm, dry clothes. Unfortunately he'd put contacts in or something because his glasses were gone when he came back in the living room. My face was still burning when he sat down next to me on the other side of the couch.

"Uh, I'm sorry I... mauled you this morning," he cleared his throat.

"It's okay. I um kinda enjoyed it," I tried to make him feel less embarrassed - by embarrassing myself even more.

"So uh, do you want to learn how to bake a pie?" he smiled at me, changing the subject.

We spent the rest of the day avoiding awkward moments and baking pies. Blueberry, apple, cherry, pecan, and my official favorite, strawberry rhubarb. We baked so many that we gave extra pies to some of our neighbors - I made sure to leave two for Mac. For some reason, Edward's pies always tasted better than mine. I'd never thought that pie making was serious work, but with Edward it was. He was very precise with his measurements and about the way he added them which might have been why his tasted better. Or may be I just believed that everything about Edward was perfect.

On Sunday, I waited for Edward to come to me. It would be a while before I could go to his house without that nice memory hovering in my head. I might have a permanent blush forever if I didn't stop thinking about it. When the doorbell rang, I bounced to the door excited. But it wasn't bronzy hair and emerald eyes that I met at the door - more like honey colored and soft hazel.

"Esme? Come in, come in, how are you?" I opened the door wide for her to enter.

"Hi, I'm good," she smiled, following me into the living room. "How's Charlie?"

"He's fine. He's checking in at the station," I shook my head. He couldn't wait one more day.

"That's great. I'm sorry for just dropping by, but I wanted to talk to you about something..."

"Oh okay," I nodded wondering what it could be about. Edward? Our relationship? Or dear gods, I hope she didn't want to give me a sex talk. Besides when I was eight and needed some things explained, Dad never really gave me one - not even during the two weeks I dated Jasper.

"Edward has been asking me and Carlisle a lot of… strange questions about money and starting some sort of scholarship program…" she spoke not looking at me and twisting her fingers.

"Oh..." My heart skipped at the subject of college, but I was still clueless as what she was talking about.

"I understand where he's coming from, and I might be stepping on Charlie's toes by doing this… But I just have to ask - you do you know that you have money saved away for college, right?"

I stared at her as my mind soaked in what she was saying. "What?"

"Oh no," Esme covered her face with her hand. "I should have called Charlie first. He's-"

"Esme, I know about the money, but I don't understand why Edward's..." I trailed off confused as she stared at me, looking relieved.

"He's under the impression that you can't afford to go to college."

"So he's been trying to get you to pay for it?" I was getting angry. I hated the topic of college, and with Edward getting involved, I was just – I don't know. But I was mad at him.

"He just cares about you, Bella. Don't be too angry with him. He doesn't understand your… reasons for not wanting to go," she patted my hand gently. I froze, wondering if she was talking about my curse.

"Oh…?"

"I do know about some things in case you are wondering. Your father confided in me and my mom about some things when you were little. We offered to pay for tests and research, but of course Charlie would have none of that," she smiled reassuringly.

"Oh does Carlisle know too?" A huge weight was lifted off of me and I felt like I could breathe easier.

"I told him once about a girl who could read minds, and I think he might be starting to get the connection. But I must ask - Edward knows too, right?" she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yes," I nodded. "Actually I can't read him..." We continued asking each other questions and then we started telling old stories about Tilde and the stories that she'd tell us. I missed her so much and I could see little pieces of her in Esme. A happy-sad feeling always seemed to appear when I spent a certain amount of time with her.

But I was still pretty mad after Esme left, and I collapsed by the front door. I didn't want Edward thinking about my college issues because I was putting them off. They were big reasons why Edward and I shouldn't even date, and also I didn't want him to realize it and break up with me. We only just started dating. I barely had Alice and Rose convince me that it would be okay. The upcoming year we would have together would be great, and then he'd leave for college. I would be alone most days and he would visit every weekend and every holiday. Then the visits would gradually stop with good excuses and painful apologies, and eventually he'll break it off and I'll become a distant memory. I blinked back my tears and I took a deep breath trying to extinguish the burning in the back of my throat.

The front door opened and Jasper looked down curiously at me, a basketball under his arm. He tilted his head and gave me a sympathetic smile holding out his hand…

…

I stood under the net watching Jasper tossing the ball easily into it. As I caught it and passed it back to him, I watched the others around the gym. Aro's was usually crowded on the weekends with older guys playing a pick up game and little kids taking turns with ping pong or wall ball. There were also a few middle schoolers who we had to watch out for; they liked to show their rebellion through graffiti and vandalism.

"Yip! Yip!" Familiar howling sounded from the double doors on the other side of the gym, and four _wolves_ stumbled through.

"Oh great," Jasper muttered, and I reluctantly waved at them when they spotted me.

"Heeey Bell-laaa," Embry called.

"Hey guys, where's everyone else?"

"Ugh, don't even mention them," Jared shook his head.

"What's wrong?"

"See the other day we were trying to finish a pick up game of football," Seth started.

"Jake tackled Paul to the ground, but then he wouldn't get off of him. Then they started making out," Embry groaned.

"We couldn't finish the game!" Quil whined.

"Same thing happened just now. We were at Paul's playing hoops in his driveway and Paul starts to block Jake-"

"More kissing?" I finished for Jared.

"They were on the same team!" Quil snapped.

"We left and now here we are."

"Hey you guys want to play a quick one with us?" Jasper asked reluctantly, after getting a nod from me.

"Yeah sure..." they agreed.

"We get Seth!" Jasper called and waved him over towards me to form a huddle. Jaz always had a plan to win, and I learned all my strategic skills from him.

"Okay, we'll be shirts; you can be skins," Quil tried to be casual. It almost wouldn't have mattered; I didn't have too much in that department, plus their chests were almost as big as mine...

"Yeah right," I rolled my eyes zipping up my hoodie, hiding my fruits.

"Okay okay, ladies first," Jared tossed me the basketball before tugging his shirt off. It was kind of chilly in the gym, but the wolves tend to overheat because they're always running around.

"We'll do a toss up," I bounced it back to him. Part of our strategy was for me to block Jared - Embry and Quil got a little handsy sometimes and I hated kneeing them - and Jasper was going to pass the ball back to Seth for an easy lead.

By the time we were tied 7-7, we had gathered a small crowd of people watching us. Most of them were little kids and others had just finished their own games or about to start their own. Now Jasper had the ball and both Quil and Jared had cornered him, while Embry and Seth were running in circles under the net. Somehow Jasper bounced the ball between their legs and it came straight to me. Before the others could get to me, I took a step back aiming for the basket and watched as it swished through the net.

"Gooooal!" Seth yelled giving me a high five. "We won!" I looked down to see I was outside the three point line.

"Oh..."

"Hey wasn't it your job to guard Bella?" Embry snapped at Jared.

"It was, but I had to guard Seth because somebody left him open!"

Jasper laughed shaking his head and waved to someone behind me with a big smile on his face. I turned to see Alice and Edward sitting on a bench waving at us. Edward's face fell when I looked at him. Yeah I was still ticked off…

"Hey, I thought you couldn't play basketball," he said, sounding kind of like question, when I neared him.

"I can't at school. My head gets too fuzzy." It wasn't the best explanation, but I didn't want to go into detail about my curse while I was mad and in public.

"Oh… I tried calling your house, but I guess your dad wasn't home. Rose told me that Jasper was probably here with you. I really wish you had a cell phone…" he tried making safe conversation. I guess he could tell I was mad. My face was probably scrunched up, lips pressed together, with sharp eyes. Real attractive.

"What? Are you going to buy me one of those too?" I snapped.

"So I _am _in trouble…" he nodded heading for a doorway.

"Do you even know why?" I followed him out into the hallway and into a smaller room filled with extra tables and fold-up chairs.

"No, not really, but I'd rather be in private when you yell at me," he shut the door behind me. I stumbled over a small stereo and cracked a _Dancing Style and Etiquette _CD.

"Guess who came by my house today?" I asked him as he just stared back at me. I wanted to cry he looked so good and I couldn't help but imagining him leaving me. The scenarios from earlier were playing out in my mind. "Esme…"

"What?" he knitted his eyes.

"Yes, we had a lot to chat about… books, current events, _college,_" I basically snarled the word as his eyes widened.

"Shit… I-"

"What? You were just gonna ask your parents to pay for me to go to college? Do you know how much that costs? I can't just let someone pay thousands of dollars for something that I might not even do! And do you know how belittled that makes me feel?"

"I was just trying to help. I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or shit, but you deserve to go to college because you're so unbelievably smart and amazing," he stammered. "And you deserve some of that money that Esme's mother left her – from what I've heard, you were like a granddaughter to her! She left Esme millions – _millions. _I think the least Esme could do is pay for your college which is basically a fraction of what she's got."

I chewed on my lip listening to him. Why were his reasons so good? Why did he have to say such nice things about me? I was mad at him and I wasn't ready to stop. "I have money. Tilde did leave me money."

"Then what the hell? Why did you say that you couldn't afford to go then? Why are we even having this conversation?" He was breathing hard and his hands were on his hips now.

"I said that because I hate talking about it. I'm not going, and I don't want to think about you or everyone else leaving me," I choked.

"Bella…" Edward looked pained.

"No, I'm done talking about this," I stepped back away from him and ripped open the door hurrying to the parking lot.

Thank the gods I had driven my truck here. Jasper and Alice were standing by the outside doors looking all happy and smiley. I hoped they would ignore me as I passed them not wanting to ruin their good moods, but they called after me as I got to my truck and slammed my door shut. By the time I got home, I wasn't mad anymore, but I was crying. I was annoyed and frustrated, and I needed a nap. I basically fell asleep at the sight of my bed…

...

When I became conscious again, there was an incessant clicking noise. I listened clenching my eyes closed trying to figure out what it was. It almost sounded like a computer mouse. It _was _a computer mouse… My eyes peeked opened and Emmett was sitting at my computer.

"Please don't be looking at porn…"

"Gah-leee, Bella, you're FreeCell stats are insane. I was just trying to beat your Minesweeper scores, but my hand would twitch and hit a mine. I don't know how you got four seconds on beginner."

"Magic," I mumbled.

"Emmett! I told you not to wake her," Rose appeared in the doorway with a pie in her hands. I wanted to laugh – she was the one I was usually telling not to wake me up.

"I didn't! Why kind is that?"

"Pecan. Do you want some Bella?"

"No," I sighed.

"Is there whipped cream?"

"No."

"Man, I bet I could eat whipped cream with any meal," he smiled.

"Spaghetti?"

"Yep."

"Nachos?"

"Oooh, we have to try that Rose. I bet that's really good."

"Or really gross…" I scoffed as they turned to look at me, silently waiting for more. I huffed sitting up and hugged a pillow in my lap. "He asked Esme to basically pay for my college tuition and stuff…"

"Oh…" Rose's eyes stayed glued to the pie. She didn't like talking about college either. She knew what it meant.

"I yelled at him and told him that I didn't want to go even though Tilde left me more than enough money to go," I chewed on my lip.

"Huh, how much did she leave you?" Emmett asked.

"Wait a minute, I thought she left you like $250. That's what you told us when we were twelve because I remember you had that orange bike…" Rose looked at me.

"I may have left off some zeros…"

"How many is _some_?"

"We were twelve. I didn't want you guys to think that Dad and I were all snooty."

"We were – we are." I winced at her. Her family always had a lot of money as her father was a lawyer and her mother grew up as one of those debutante beauty queens.

"Four…"

"Four zeros?"

"Two and half million," Emmett answered.

"You're a millionaire?" Rose laughed.

"Not really," I shook my head. "I never planned on using the money, and plus I can't touch it until I turn twenty five; but actually it's not that strict, I can get some money for college or something with permission from the overseer…"

"Which is Mom."

"Damn, I can't believe you never told me this... and you're mad at Edward-"

"I'm not even mad at him anymore. I just don't like talking about any of it. I don't want the future to come. I don't want to grow up, and tomorrow I have to explain all of this to Edward and apologize. If he lets me. Crap, what if he breaks up with me or -"

"Take a chill pill, Bella. It'll be okay," Emmett assured me. "Edward probably thinks that you're PMSing and just needs space. It would take a _lot _for Edward to break up with you. He's crazy about you. I think - I think if you grew a penis, he would still love you. He'd turn gay – he would. I know it," he nodded fervently.

"What the hell are you even talking about?" I busted out laughing at his rant. I squeezed my legs together tightly though… just in case.

The next day at school I sat on the picnic table with Alice and Rosalie waiting for Edward. Alice must be part psychic or something because she was waiting with hot chocolate and croissants when we got there. I nervously tore my croissant apart and warmed my hands, silently waiting, as Rose and Alice chatted about normal things. Something from Saturday kept creeping up to the front of my mind and I was itching to ask them about it.

"Are you guys having sex?"

"What?" - "Alice is not my type," they said at the same time.

"Are you?"

"I'm not," Alice answered to my surprise.

"Me neither. Emmett barely touches me until I give him the go ahead."

"What's the _go ahead_?" Alice asked her.

"I don't want to know," I shook my head.

"I basically grope him until he gets the hint."

"Ew…."

"Why do you ask?" Alice leaned over to look at me.

"Well, I didn't think you were, but the guys don't think about it much and if you guys really were, then I definitely would have seen something-"

"Why do you ask?" Alice asked again slowly.

"Uh things, uh got, uh pretty heavy with Edward on Saturday. I went to his house to wake him up because Emmett told me to, but he pulled me into bed with him and ummm yeah," I stuttered.

"Wow, I didn't think Edward could be so forward."

"He thought he was dreaming…"

"Oh figures… well, my mom bought me all these teen guide books or whatever," Alice started. "Basically you know when you're ready. Like if you and your partner are in _real_ love, and you can sorta talk to your parents about it, and you know all of your consequences and you're able to accept them…"

"Talk with my Dad about it?" I questioned. "That'll go really well especially since he was teenage father himself."

"Hey, I think it's too soon, so don't worry about it. You and Edward have been dating what? A week? And are you even dating now? I mean you guys had a fight so you might not be dating anymore…"

"Rosalie!" Alice laughed as the warning bell rang.

"Great…" I groaned realizing that the parking lot had filled up quickly and the shiny car sat in its usual spot Edwardless.

In first period, I couldn't hear anything that Mr. Mason was saying. I was too busy writing out apologies in my notebook. Really it all turned out to be a jumble of I'm-sorry's and please-don't-break-up-with-me's. It was pathetic. I was pathetic for even causing all of this…

I jumped up as soon as the bell rang and hurried toward Edward's first period class. I usually got a chance for small talk during this break and I was going to use every bit of it to apologize to Edward. I found him outside his classroom near his locker. He was talking to Lauren with a tired expression and he held his trig book out in front of him like it was a shield. Fortunately an idea popped into my head before he looked at me. How could a stare make me so dumbfounded?

"How do think you did on the quiz? I think I did alright, but I forgot to study so I'm not sure blah blah blah" Lauren babbled on as I sneaked up to them, Edward watching me the whole time. I reached forward silently and slowly pulled his book out of his tight grip. "Uh Bella Swan, what are you doing?"

"Carrying his books…"

"Why?"

"Because I'm sorry, and I think it's about time," I looked up at him as he grinned.

"What?"

Edward's hand came up and knocked the books out of my hands. Before I could even gape at him, he leaned down and kissed me. All of the tension slid from my body and it was replaced with a warm tingling feeling. He somehow lost his balance and stumbled forward, shoving me against the lockers in the process.

"Owa," I groaned.

"Shit – sorry," he brought his lips back to mine.

"It's – okay – sorry – I'm crazy" I mumbled against him.

"Okay stop talking please – later," he muttered.

"Oh my god…" Lauren's voice startled me. I pulled away using my hand to turn Edward's face away from mine.

"Hi… oh right," he straightened up, looking at her. "I think I did well. But if you ever need help, I know that Eric is willing to tutor people…"

"Oh my god," she muttered turning around walking away.

"Come on, the bell's about to ring," he held out his hand for me to take. I grinned at him, his face was pinked from the lip gloss Alice made me put on.

"You kinda have something on your face," I motioned to my lips as we walked down the hall to my classroom.

"Ah leave it, we'll match," he smiled before leaning down to kiss me again. I sighed when he pulled away and he turned to hurry to get to his own class. I blushed when the classroom full of girls stared at me when I entered the room.

At lunch we looked liked a pair of fools with our smudgy lip glossed grins while some people asked if we were really going out. Jessica tried getting details in a friendly way as Lauren had a permanent scowl on her face and Mike looked pale not daring to glance at us. In biology, we were given a lab and I was going to use that chance to really apologize to Edward.

"You know I really am sorry..."

"Yes, but I shouldn't have done that without talking to you about it."

"I just... I'm not going to college, and I don't even like thinking about it because then I start to think about when Rose and Jaz are gonna leave me and now you too... It was one of the reasons I didn't want to tell you how I felt, and I didn't want you thinking about either so you wouldn't come to the same conclusion and break up with me now..."

"Wow," he whispered with wide eyes. "That's some crazy girl logic, but I think I got the jist of why you were upset. But Bella, college is more than a year away. We don't have to decide anything now."

"But we have to eventually…"

"Yeah, I could always just stay here in Forks and work in the diner for Ben's mom." He was joking, but part of him seemed serious, and I had to make sure he understood that he couldn't stay in Forks just for me.

"No you can't, you have to go off and do some great and amazing." Plus that's my future job.

"Well then I guess you would have to come with me…"

"You know we've only been dating a week right?"

"I still love you, just the same."

"Edward..."

"Who knows? I might be knocked up by then, so I think we shouldn't worry about it. We should think about today and about something fun. Here, can I?" he asked picking up my notebook.

"Sure," I was still blushing from the 'knocked up' remark.

"You should-" he stopped, staring down at something.

"Um," I cringed when I saw that it was a page full I-hate-Edward-four eyes-Cullen doodles. I'd even drew like a bajillion pair of eyes and glasses. He closed it shut and slid it back to me, staying quiet and not looking at me. "Thanks... Hey are you okay?"

"Yeah," he hummed, still not looking at me.

"No what's wrong?" My stomach dropped. We had just made up, and now something else was wrong.

"Nothing, just… I forgot you that you didn't like me very much in the beginning of the year... The four eyes comment kinda stung."

"Oh Edward-" I felt guilty and really embarrassed because he was taking it the completely wrong way.

"It's okay. I was a dick."

"No no, nooo. I wasn't being mean when I wrote that. I was... Just mad," I blushed. I really didn't want to tell him that I thought he was sexy as hell in those glasses.

"Okay." When he looked at me, I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Ugh, I have a list..." I cleared my throat. I was going to die. It was so embarrassing. "Of um, different times when you're... really attractive."

"What?" he whipped his head at me, confused.

"Just... here," I flung through the pages of my notebook to where I had written them down. They were things like Dream Edward and Worried Edward and Crossing His Arms, Grouchy Edward. "I remember sitting in the emergency room with you and you were wearing your glasses, I thought it was so unfair how hot you looked in them."

"Wow, this is so weird Bella..." he told me shaking his head and looking over my notebook. I dropped my head onto the table hoping I would have an aneurysm and die. "Thank you for showing me this though, at least now I know that you like me as much as I like you."

"Okay," I blinked at him. I didn't even want to try to comprehend his logic.

"But since you're so good with lists, here," he slid back my notebook towards me as I lifted my head. "You need to make a list of stuff you want to do."

"Stuff I want to do?" Like you? I bit my lip; I was not going to say that out loud.

"Things you want to do before we all graduate. It could be any thing…"

"Like go out on a date?"

"Yeah but…" he trailed off then looked pained. "Shit, I am an ass. I haven't taken you out on a date yet. I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad about it," I winced. "And I never asked you either, so it goes both ways... so _go on a date_." I flipped to a clean page and wrote it down.

"_With... Edward.._._" _he spoke scribbling it down next to it.

"Right, with my honey bunches of oats."

"Hmm, I'm not sure about that one…" he tried with a serious face.

"Too much?" I smiled as his eyes drifted down to my mouth.

"Do you still have that glossy lip stuff?"

"Yeah." I remembered Alice shoving it into my pocket. "Why?"

"Good, because I think I'm gonna need a touch up before gym," he grinned rubbing his thumb over my lips.

* * *

AN: Sooo, yeah… only one more chapter to go which will be an epilogue of sorts and I promise no crying this time guys. I know you hate it, but this is it. This is where the story ends… sorta.

Also I know some of this chapter was weird and random and some things came out of nowhere. Forgive me.

But hey good news, I have jury duty on Monday! - I know, right. - Actually I've never had it before, but I know I'll be sitting a small room for hours before they ask me a bunch of random questions which means I'll be writing – thank cheeses, my phone has a word program on it.

THANKS FOR READING!


	21. Epilogue: The List

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There **will be strong language and subjects **in this chapter...

AN: sorry if there's weird random cropping in the text... and there was basically no editing soooo...

* * *

**The List  
Epilogue  
**

**#1 Go on a Date **_**with Edward**_

"Are you sure about this?" I asked him again for the millionth time.

"That's it," he muttered before throwing his arm behind my seat and turning his head to pull out.

"No wait, I'll shut up. I'm sorry," I sighed defeated.

"Bella, I don't want to make you do something that you don't want to do."

"I want to do this, just not here…"

La Bella Italia was the nicest restaurant in Port Angeles. I'd never eaten there, but it's one of those fancy schmancy places with white tablecloths, candlelight, and even a dance floor with a string quartet. I've told Edward this, but he was still very adamant about taking me on a nice date – our first real date.

"You look very pretty," he told me as he opened my door.

"Rose and Alice enjoyed torturing me." I remembered the fights about eye shadow, lipstick, and the clothes. Thankfully Alice let me borrow this black dress that she claimed she only wore once to a funeral.

"Oh, that's why you told me not to tell them where we were going…"

"Yeah, they can't stand not knowing something, and Alice tried to get me to wear this _tiny_ blue dress-"

"Aw…" he groaned as I rolled my eyes at him. "What? I think you look lovely in blue…"

"Right, I'll remember that next time."

"Oh next time?" he smiled. "We'll be doing this again?"

"We'll see... You might not even have a girlfriend after tonight if this goes badly."

"Trust me, this night will be unforgettable. I promise."

Unforgettable was right. You know who eats at places like this? Old rich people. Old couples celebrating an anniversary or old men trying to seduce their younger dates. Old people who don't talk too much and enjoy the _comfortable_ _silence _– which lets their old minds wander off and end up thinking pervy thoughts. I usually didn't mind older guys; they were usually tame. But not when they were on dates – not when they were remembering favorite moments in their lives which usually often led to something sexual.

Like that Richard guy in the corner with his wife, Rita. His daughter Rachel is getting married, and he remembers the good stuff like graduations and birthdays, but he also remembers when he and Rita probably-conceived her during at an Aerosmith concert. Thank the gods I couldn't read women. In general, girls tend to be more manipulative, judgmental, and mean, but older women had experience and the right to be crabby. Plus their libido went into overdrive when they hit something like 50.

"Bella?"

"What?" I shook my head trying to empty my head and blocking out the gross mess.

"Did you see that waitress flirting with me?" he asked – either kind of appalled or excited. I couldn't tell.

"Oh… no." I glanced around the restaurant trying to find her.

"Watch the next time she comes by. She'll-"

"Hey sorry about that, here's your menu. What can I get you to drink?" The waitress appeared, asking him with her back to me. She was tall and had pretty red hair, and she smiled unabashedly at him. I didn't really blame her – with what she had to work with tonight, I was surprised she wasn't dry humping his leg yet.

"I'll have what she's having…" Edward nodded to me, and she turned to me with sad eyes.

"Water, please," I told her as she scribbled something down.

"Great, I'll be back with your drinks in a moment."

"See! Did you see that? I mean, I'm here on a date with my girlfriend!" Edward continued.

"Yep, I saw." His face fell and his shoulders slumped.

"You don't care. You're not jealous that she's flirting with me."

"It's not her fault that you're so attractive, and you clearly enjoy being hit on. And I'm not jealous because you're always telling me how much you like me, so it's not like you'll dump me and go home with her after she gets off work," I explained.

"You know, I don't think you've ever hit on me," he frowned.

"You want me to be jealous?" I blinked at him. "Edward… if we were anywhere else, hell yes I would be pissed at that waitress, but at the moment, I'm a little distracted and – wait! You're here!"

"I'm glad you finally noticed," he scoffed. I got up from seat and dragged my chair around the table, sitting down closely to Edward. He kept starring at me as I rearranged the crystal, silverware, and candles.

"You're here," I sighed gripping his right hand in my left. The stress and tension disappeared. "Are you a parking ticket?"

"What?"

"Because you've got fine written all over you," I laughed. "You know today I was looking at a light bulb and it made me think of you and how you light up my world."

"Wow…" he stared at me with wide eyes and a grin.

"Your father must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns," I blushed as he laughed. Edward certainly had a very nice set of buns… "Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?"

He leaned over and kissed me softly. "Thank you."

"You feel better?"

"Yes, and I hope those weren't recycled…"

"Yeah right," I snorted. "But Rose is very familiar with pickup lines."

"Here are your drinks," the waitress set down our waters and blinked at us. "Are you ready to order?"

"How's the chicken fettuccini alfredo?" Edward asked as I glanced down at the menu, looking over the prices and listening to her.

"Oh, it's my _favorite_. The chef adds his special seasoning and it's just amazing. _Blah blah blah blah blah blah _You'll love it, I'm-"

"Mushroom ravioli!" I spoke the first thing I saw. The waitress _was_ flirting with him and _right_ in front of me. "I'll have the mushroom ravioli…"

"Oookay, one mushroom ravioli and you'll have the chicken fettucini?"

"Yes, thank you," Edward nodded, but his head turned toward me.

I continued looking down at my forks and fumbling with the tablecloth as she left with the menus. Edward rubbed his thumb along my wrist and I looked up at him embarrassed.

"So I might be a little jealous…"

"A little?" he laughed. "I think the chef heard your order back in the kitchen."

"Good, maybe then her job really is obsolete and they'll get rid of her."

"Wow, you really are jealous."

"She was so… irksome. She _irked_ me. I mean, I'm practically sitting on your lap. I already have to deal with the creepy shit, now I have to deal with her."

"Wait, what creepy shit?"

"Ugghh," I sighed. "Edward, if you must know… old people are pervs – the worst."

"Stop! I don't want to hear anything else. I'm so sorry… I promise I won't let go of you."

The waitress came back with our food and fortunately she didn't stick around too long. Our food was great, and it was fun to watch Edward eat with his left hand since I wouldn't let his right one go. Eventually I fed him small bites, but I had to stop because Edward would stare at me in a way that I wanted him too - just not in front of so many people.

"Oh look at those kids, remember when we were their age?" An older woman's voice sounded behind me and I blushed. I turned to peek at her, but she wasn't looking at Edward and me. She and her husband were turned looking into the next room where the dance floor was.

Curious, I slid my grip up Edward's arm so that I wasn't in contact with his skin and looked to see who they were staring at. Familiar faces danced inside my head, and I nearly fell out of my chair.

"Holy crow, come on," I tugged on Edward's arm.

"Where are we... really? You're asking me to dance?" he sounded excited.

"No, look..."

"Oh my... shit."

Jasper finished twirling Alice to him and she wrapped a leg around one of his as he dipped her. She smiled brightly at him when he leaned down to kiss her as the song ended. People watching gave a little applause before continuing their dinner, and Jasper pulled her to her feet, holding her close and dancing in slow circles. As other couples joined them, his eye finally caught mine and he stopped moving. Alice looked shocked when she turned around and found us. They edged off the dance floor toward us, careful of the other couples.

"This is what you guys do, isn't it? All the time? You come here," I figured out, placing everything together.

"We get free breadsticks," Jasper shrugged.

"This is where you guys came? Edward's pulling out the big guns pretty early, but I don't think Bella is the type of girl to put out if you bought her a nice dinner..." Alice shook her head at him teasingly, and I laughed as Edward shifted awkwardly behind me. I think I'd put out if Edward just smiled at me...

"They let you dance here and give you breadsticks? I don't get it," Edward changed the subject.

"Well we can't afford to eat here, but apparently we encourage younger couples to dance. They think it'll start a trend or something."

"Jasper mentioned to me once that his mom made him take cotillion classes when he was little where he learned how to really dance, and I was so jealous. When we started dating, he took me to Aro's and we'd practice there..."

"Oh, Bella I do believe they're playing our song," Edward said, pulling me toward the center of the dance floor.

"What we have a song?" I stumbled trying to listen to the music - which was kind of hard. Sometimes violins just sounded like random notes.

"No, we never declared one or whatever, but it was the only excuse I had to get you out here..."

"I'm a horrible dancer – I've told you."

"It doesn't matter. I get to listen to some nice music and hold you really close for a long time. Sounds like a good deal to me."

We settled into a comfortable silence swaying in the crowd of older couples. Alice and Jasper went back to showing off with special twists and turns, and I actually realized I liked dancing with Edward. At least slow dancing with him...

Edward nodded to someone behind me and I growled when I saw the waitress waving at him.

"I bet she _loves_ dancing," I rolled my eyes. "Do you want a new partner?" His hands tightened around my hips, and I almost groaned when he stared down at me with one of those mesmerizing looks.

"Never... hey, my lips are skittles. You wanna taste the rainbow?" he grinned.

...

**#6 **_**Get a Facebook**_

The door open and the angel's face looked surprised and happy. Edward wasn't an angel, but he certainly looked like one with all of the Christmas decorations up. Esme had transformed their home into a storybook, and it made our Christmas lights look dinky.

"Hey Cupcake," I smirked as he wrinkled his nose at me before leaning down to give me a kiss.

"Hey," he breathed when I had to pull myself away from him.

"Hi..." I mumbled still feeling dazed. We had been dating a little over a month, and he still had that dizzying effect on me.

"I thought I was supposed to pick you up in an hour."

"I told you that so I could surprise you."

"You are a very nice surprise-"

"I'm not the surprise. You know, all of these kiss-ass compliments tell me you just want to get into my pants," I joked.

"Is there another way to do it?" he asked with a straight face.

"We could add it to the list," I stammered blushing.

"So what's the surprise?" he cleared his throat rubbing the back of his neck, his face pink.

"I have to – it's in your room," I stuttered feeling so awkward that I was looking down at my socks. There was small hole so that my pinky toe stuck out and usually-

Edward grabbed my hand and rested his other around my neck, silently asking me to look up at him. When I did, he looked sorry and leaned down to kiss me. His lips seemed softer as they moved slowly against mine. I didn't mind feeling so embarrassed all the time if he was going to apologize like this…

"Eh-hummm," a cough startled me. Esme stood behind Edward politely looking out the window, and I stepped away from him even more embarrassed than before.

"Hey Esme," Edward grinned, not at all uncomfortable.

"Hey kids, I'm heading to the store, do you want anything?"

"No thanks…"

"Will you be here for dinner?" she asked and Edward glanced at me.

"Uh, sure," I nodded as she disappeared down the hall.

"I thought your dad was making you dinner. You know the whole Swan Special? - which sounds like you're eating a bird and not a fish." He led me up the stairs and I had to stop to take in all of the decorations. Esme had added more.

"Um, that was before his doctor's appointment, and he got the all-clear to use his arm however... I told him that I was sleeping over at the Hale house and that he should invite Sue over…"

"Oh," he cringed. "That was..."

"Gross," I snorted.

"Nice... for you to do. Maybe one day he'll return the favor for us," he joked.

"Right..." I still blushed.

"Okay, where's my surprise?" he asked looking around his room before he stopped to look at me. His eyes glanced down from my face to my body - using his heat vision to make me burn.

"Over here," I cleared my throat moving to his bed. I swear his jaw fell and eyes grew wide, but he closed his mouth shut when I picked up his laptop and moved to sit on his couch.

"Oh..." he muttered sitting down next to me. I shielded the screen from him as I entered my password and my picture popped up on the left side of the screen.

"This is actually part of your Christmas present, but I wanted to do it now..."

"What - oh!" he looked at the screen and picked up the laptop. He grinned looking over my profile.

"I hope you like it, and now some of those losers will believe that I'm real."

"Oh look, you have no friends. Not very popular are you?" he grinned before squinting at something. "You're wearing makeup..."

"Alice wanted to help. She enjoys torturing me too much. She's gon-"

He leaned forward and lifted my chin up and pressed his lips against mine, cutting me off. He pulled away just as quickly, still leaving my head fuzzy.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Hey..." I grinned, until a bright flash blinded me. "Edward! Did you just take a picture of me?"

"No," he laughed leaning away from me and mashing buttons on his cell phone.

"I can't believe you. No more kisses for you, Sweet Pea."

"Ah come on, Belllllaaa..." he whined leaning toward me. I jumped up from the couch but he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back down.

"Edward!"

"Kiss me."

"Nooo..." I giggled as his hands tickled me. I gasped when one accidentally brushed my left boob, and Edward froze staring down open-mouthed at me.

"I-I uh" he choked, nervously.

Then I got scared that now he was scared of touching me because of my gasp. But my gasp wasn't a bad gasp it was a good one - definitely a good gasp. Before he could finish apologizing or stuttering, I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine trying to kiss him forcefully to show him I hadn't minded his touching. I smiled when his hands started moving again.

"Um, you should um click refresh," he mumbled sliding me off of his lap and set his laptop there instead. I watched him as he clicked something and his profile popped up and then there was the picture of me. I looked a bit dizzy and my lips were a little puffy. Edward clicked some more things and then the new picture of me appeared on my profile.

"How did you... That's why you took a picture of me! Was my picture that bad?" I hadn't like it that much either, but I still thought he would because I looked girly-er.

"No, you looked really pretty, but this is more you."

"Looking all... high is more me?"

"You don't look high. You look beautiful. Like always…"

"Way to lay it on all thick, but I always feel high when you kiss me," I muttered, feeling a little pathetic.

"Me too," he sighed relieved. "Look here..."

I knitted my eyes at him confused until I noticed that I had a friend request and another notification.

"Someone wants to be my friend?" I couldn't help but laugh because this facebook stuff seemed really silly.

"You have to confirm, deny or ignore it."

"Oh... Oh it's just you."

"Ouch."

"Confirm, though," I clicked the little button. "I still confirmed that you are my friend."

"Now let's confirm that I'm your boyfriend."

"Oh I think we've already established that," I laughed.

"Yeah, but I think we'll need to do more establishing later…"

…

... ... ...

_**Comments on Edward Cullen's photo**_

Bryce Hampshire: _daaayyaaammm!11!_

Drake Kansas: _Definitely not a dude. Nice man._

Dakota Westershireton: _how did u get a girl this hot?_

Lee Oregon: _Still think you made her up..._

Lauren Mallory: wats _the big deal? its just bella swan. just so u know shes_ _really weird_.

Bella Swan: _Hey I'm a real person! And Edward is really hot_|

… … …

"Don't put that!"

"Why not? I am real and you are hot..." I looked up at him confused.

"They'll just think I wrote that..."

"Ugh fine. I'll delete the last part," I sighed, typing quickly and pressing enter.

"Why are you typing? You're supposed to be deleting! … _Hey I'm a real person and Edward is really hot and a fantastic kisser… _Bella!" he groaned.

"What? You don't think you're a good kisser?" I tried teasing him and hoping he wouldn't be too mad at me.

"I could use some practice," he sighed annoyed.

"Was that an invitation? I couldn't tell…"

"Get over here," he smiled before meeting mine.

...

**#? ...?.?.?.?...?..  
**

I gripped the pillow tighter as I tried to force my tears to stop. But not crying made me feel like I was going to explode so it had become a vicious cycle of me sobbing with my throat burning to gaping for air as my head pounded. I always knew that he would leave me but like... a year away. I thought I had more time. Of course, I did - we'd only been officially dating - according to my count - for almost five months. Edward liked counting it as seven months because of his secretly-trying-to-date-me plan.

I started to cry harder remembering why I even was in the first place.

...

"If you were ever to get a tattoo, where'd you get one?" Edward asked rubbing my leg. I was splayed out on his couch resting my feet in his lap as we listened to some of his new music.

"Some place where the health department gave it no less than a hundred percent."

"No, I meant where would you put it?" he asked again calmly.

"I knew what you meant. I was trying to be-"

"Annoying. A pain in the neck. A smart ass?"

"Like you," I finished, laughing.

"Whatever..." he grumbled.

"Hmm, I don't know. I could be like Carlisle and get it on my shoulder?" I asked, actually keeping a straight face.

"No, I don't think that would do well on you," he shook his head.

"Maybe my back? Like Emmett."

"What about your wrist?" he rolled his eyes at me.

"Hmm, I think wrist tattoos might be too girly..."

"What?"

"What?" I started laughing as he yanked my ankle, pulling me closer to him. He moved over me and rested comfortably between my legs, and I pretended to resist even though I wouldn't have him anywhere else. "Edddddwarrrd. You're crushing me."

"What? What was that? Wrist tattoos are too girly? Is that what you said?" he nuzzled into my neck, holding my wrists above my head.

"Well, they're not as girly as the ankle..."

"Ooo, the ankle is a good place," he grinned.

"I wasn't aware that you had an ankle fetish."

"If it's your ankle, I do... actually any body part would suffice."

"Like my nose?"

"I _love_ your nose," he mumbled kissing it.

"My elbow?"

"Elbow..." he whispered as he leaned up to kiss my arm.

I breathed hard trying to decide what body part next, but I wouldn't have enough courage to say exactly where I would want him to kiss me.

"My hh-hip?" I choked as he pulled back with a huge grin on his face.

"Bella, are you trying to get to _third_ _base_?"

"No I was going for home plate…" I laughed awkwardly as his eyes grew wide. "Where do you think I should get a tattoo?" I changed the subject, completely embarrassed.

"Oh, I have a few ideas," he smirked, sliding his hand down my side and gripping my thigh.

"Hmm strange," I quirked my head. "Like father like son..."

"What?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"That's where Esme got hers, so Carlisle would-"

"Stop!" Edward rolled off of me onto the floor. "Ah stop, that was so mean!" he dug his head into the carpet.

"I just thought it was curious that-"

"Stop," he groaned. "I thought Dad was good about not ... thinking when you're here."

"Well sort of, and plus nowadays I never hear anything because you're always touching me," I explained. "And I learned that little piece of info a looong time ago."

"How exactly... never mind I don't want to know."

"Hello? Somebody? Can you come here for a sec? I need some help with the groceries!" Esme called from the bottom floor and Edward groaned.

"I'm never going to look at her the same ever again..."

"I'll go help her," I sat up.

"No wait here, I'll be just a minute," he dragged himself off the floor and moved out of the room.

I stood up and paced the room trying to forget that I just cockblocked myself. At least it was kind of a good thing because Esme came home, but good job Bella. Nice going...

I stared at Edward's desk looking over his math homework and glanced at a piece of paper with an odd shield looking thing in the corner. I pulled it out and regretted it as I started to read it.

_Dear Mr. Cullen, we are fortunate to congratulate you on your acceptance into..._

The words turned my brain into mush as I read about Dartmouth's prestigious summer program for high school students. High school students like Edward. Where he could start earning college credits. In a fun and exciting eight week program. At Dartmouth. In New Hampshire - east coast. West coast - that's where were now... I couldn't even try to figure out how many miles apart it was. It was enough for me to hyperventilate.

"Bella, you staying for dinner? I'm making some of Mom's famous potatoes," Esme asked as I walked down the stairs. I knew I would fall if I hurried.

"No, I'm not feeling well. Tell Edward I - I said good-bye," I choked, shutting the front door.

...

As soon as I had got home, I started crying. It was amazing that I hadn't started in the woods, but I think I was determined to make home as soon as I ran past the meadow. I knew I was overreacting, but eventually Edward was going to leave. I guess I was just getting started on the whole crying thing - maybe, hopefully, I'll grow immune to it, and one day I won't cry anymore... yeah right. But Edward was still leaving me for the summer and he was also coming back. That was what I needed to focus on - the coming back part.

I rubbed my face in my pillow again, and it felt like a swampy sauna. Tears, snot, drool - my pillow was soaked and I sat up to pull the case off of it. I grabbed a new one from the hallway closet and washed my face before falling back into bed. I heard a door slam downstairs and I wondered if Rose was PMSing or something. But then I heard the footsteps on the stairs and I knew it wasn't Rose. He appeared in my doorway drenched from the rain, looking kinda pissed.

"You... you are such a... coward," he said, pulling something out of his pocket. It was that dumb piece of paper I read...

"What?"

"I feel like you're always running away from me, and one day I'm going to stop chasing you," Edward lowered his head, and I felt like I was just kicked in the stomach.

"I wasn't running from you. I just didn't want you to see me cry like a stupid girl," I sniffed. My voice was thick and I had to clear my throat a couple of times.

"I was going to tell you about it," he held up the letter. "And that-"

"You should definitely do it. I think you should go. It'll be good for you," I tried being optimistic.

"Oh I'm not going," he shook his head moving to sit at the end of my bed.

"Edward, you have to. It's a good oppor-" His hand moved to cover my mouth, silencing me.

"I do not have to go, and I do not want to go. Not even because of you, but that is on the list for staying here for the summer," he explained. "I went last year and it was the worst thing ever. It was boring and there weren't any pretty girls, and I'm not going back. I'm going to use my last real summer vacation like a normal guy which consists of making out with my hot girlfriend. A lot. The only reason I went in the first place was because I got a letter in the mail because Dad's an alumni and my family was going to the beach for two weeks."

"You don't like the beach?" I asked when he removed his hand.

"That's all you have to say?" he laughed and I stayed quiet waiting for an answer. "I _hate_ the beach. I burn easily."

"Oh..."

"You sound disappointed."

"I am," I smiled. _I was._

"I am too now." His face fell as he thought about it. "I've never seen you in a bathing suit."

"Oh well..."

"But I have seen you in nothing but a towel," he smirked proudly. "Twice."

"Yeah, but everything was covered up, and I've seen you in your underwear..."

"Those are pajamas. Doesn't count," he shook his head.

"No, I'm talking about those black boxer briefs that leave little for my imagination."

"What? You're lying."

"Nope. When you were sick - a long time ago. Right after we had that truce and I brought you soup and you broke that green vase and I glued it back together for you…."

"Shit. Shit. Shit," he covered his face with his hands.

"Don't be embarrassed. I found you very attractive..."

"I'm still mortified because I say stupid shit when I'm sick," he cringed.

"I'm sorry about how I reacted before. I overreacted but it just startled me I guess. I promise I won't act like that next year."

"Yeah you won't because you'll be going to college too, and if I can't convince you... we'll do the long distance thing. Seattle isn't too far..."

"Edward, I don't want to be that girl who makes you stay when you could go off and do something awesome."

"How far away do you think I'm going? Even if we were still living in Chicago, I would still go to a instate school. I don't want to be so far from home."

"But what if-"

"Christ Bella, just... just let me _love_ you okay?" His voice was agitated as he moved closer to me, and he gripped my face in his hands. "This isn't just puppy love or first love or whatever - this is real shit. I love-love love you."

"I love-love you too," I cried.

I would have hated myself for crying right at that moment, but Edward started to kiss and touch me so I wasn't really concentrating at that moment. I could only focus on his lips and the way he made my skin tingle and burn.

And then Edward finally saw me naked.

And he certainly did not have a vagina.

...

**#17 **_**–o-t—Pr-m-wit—our-W—OM—B—fr—nd—**_

"_Go to prom with my awesome boyfriend _was not on my list," I grumbled. "I crossed it out like a majillion times."

"Funny how it kept appearing on there then…"

"Prom is just an excuse for teenagers to drink and get high and do other stupid things…"

"Hmmm, I don't think we'll be doing any of those things," Edward tried to be teasing, but I wasn't having any of it. "Bella, if we seriously didn't think you'd have fun, none of us would be making you go. And we're not even making you, just… encouraging."

"Yeah like when Alice _encouraged _me to get a manicure and pedicure."

"I promise we don't have to go next year. Just let me have this, you know, do it for me?"

"You know, you want a lot of things…"

"I know. I'm a selfish prick, but you love me for it."

"Sure, I do," I laughed.

I stretched out my arms when he opened my door; I'd spent the whole day sitting and prepping for tonight, and I was sore.

"Please don't do that again," Edward swore under his breath.

"What?" I asked, taking another chance to look him over. Edward was wearing all black and there was something about a tuxedo that made him... yummy? God I can't believe I used that word, but it might have been the glasses that were affecting me. Esme had even asked him why he was wearing his glasses, and he'd shrugged something about his eyes itching. The real reason was that he knew what it did to me... I never should have told him that.

"You look too... pretty in that dress," he said with his eyes glued to my chest.

"Pretty huh?" His eyes flew up to mine, and I held my breath as he stared at me.

"You know what? You were right. Prom is stupid. We should ditch..."

"Oh no Pumpkin, it's too late. Plus Alice would kill me if I let this go to waste," I motioned to my face and dress.

"Oh it hasn't. Trust me," he whistled as I started for the restaurant.

Because of Alice and Jasper's friendly relationship with the managers, we got a reservation and a good discount at Bella Italia. We were all supposed to meet  
here, head to the dance and then we were all sleeping over at Edward's house - with parent supervision.

"Just so you know, I do not plan on _you_ taking this dress off..."

"The dress never has to come off," he smirked. "I can still-"

"There's no way I'm having sexing with you to-"

"What? Why!"

"Because my dad's idea of a sex talk is telling me to pregnant!" I stopped to face him. "Edward, he was going on about how much he wants grandchildren and sooner the better. He said to forget the condom and go for it, and he tried to tell me positions for better chances of conceiving. It's not that I won't have sex - I can't. I'm dry as a desert."

"That is so... genius actually. Reverse psychology really does-"

"Okay well, I'm ready to stop talking about it," I turned to keep walking. "Especially since I think that part of him was serious..."

"Well don't all parents want grandchildren?" he asked opening the door for me.

"Yeah, all parents want their teenagers to get knocked up," I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe now we can stop sneaking around and I can stop climbing through the window."

"But that's your favorite part," I laughed as we joined the rest of our group.

...

"Guys this was such a good idea. I'm having so much fun."

"Well you're the only one," Rose snapped at me.

Dinner... hadn't gone exactly as planned. Our favorite waitress _Amber_ returned with no memory of me and Edward but with all of her focus on Jasper and Emmett. Amber wasn't too bright, and I bet she didn't get too many tips by flirting with all her male customers.

Jasper and Emmett were upset because Rose and Alice were annoyed, and Edward was a little down because Amber wasn't flirting with him like last time. Then Alice asked one of the managers for a new server, and instead of chicken, the new guy gave her a cheesy potato thing as he leered down Rose's dress so then Emmett and Jasper were pissed. That waiter was going to have a hard time finding his tips at our table...

It kinda got worse when we got to the school. The gym had been decorated and it looked like... a poorly decorated gym. The seniors had chosen the theme from some movie about a hangover or something. I'm not sure how they persuaded the teachers, but our gym was made into a mock casino with green felt-covered card tables scattered around the room and the DJ and dance floor were setup on the far side. Groups of neon colored balloons were tied up to random things around the room, and the black twinkle lights gave them a weird glow. And the dance floor turned into a bump and grind session and everyone was apparently fair game because Rose didn't even make it through a song. She'd joined Edward and me as I kicked Mr. Varner's ass at black jack. There was a rumor that there was a 500 dollar prize for whoever won the most poker chips, so I was having fun.

"Oh my god, there you are!" Emmett screamed over the music at Rose. "I turned around and you werent there. I thought you got lost in the crowd so I went in deeper," he shook his head. "I've never felt so violated before..."

"Sorry I couldn't do it," she rubbed his cheek before he leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

"Where's Jasper and Al?" Edward looked behind them.

"Don't know. Maybe they... daaaaamn!"

I turned to see what Emmett was looking at, and my jaw dropped. Jasper was leading Alice towards us with her hands cupping her nose with paper napkins.

"What happened?"

"Effing Lauren Mallory was humping Jasper so I pushed her off and started yelling-"

"Lauren Mallory did that to you?" Emmett gaped.

"No let me finish you dodo," Alice snapped, her voice nasally. "When she pushed me back, I moved out of the way and into Tyler's elbow. I think it might be  
broken."

"It's not," Jasper tried to reassure her.

"How do you know? It effing hurts!" she argued as Jasper's head fell.

_I've had a broken nose, and it's not broken. Jesus_...

"I think it's time we head to your house," Rose grabbed Emmett's hand.

"But..." I started, but fell silent, staring down at my chips.

"We'll meet you there in a little while. We'll finish here soon," Edward nodded as the others started to get up and I smiled when he turned back to me.

"You're not ready to leave?"

"Not if you keep winning. You look so cute when you do," he smiled.

We played a few more hands with Mr. Varner until he shooed us away from his table. I played poker with Coach Clapp and Edward didn't touch me so that I could beat him. I'd wanted to prove to him that I was good at something, and it was amusing to watch him loose. After Edward lost half of my chips at the roulette wheel thing, he jumped up from his seat with an excited smile.

"Let's dance. It's a slow song, please?" he begged.

"Alright," I sighed because Edward had been patient with me all night. I dumped the rest of my chips at Ben and Angela's table and told them to have fun because I had a feeling we would be leaving after this. Dancing was foreplay to Edward and our bodies don't even touch that much.

"Thank you," he kissed behind my ear when he pulled me close to him.

"Anything for you."

"Anything?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Down boy, still no lovin tonight," I shook my head as he huffed. "But I hope you still had fun though?"

"I did. It was pretty... entertaining."

"Yeah, I'm glad you all _encouraged_ me to come since we all had such a great time."

"Well maybe next time we'll listen to you..."

"No, they'll still want to come next year, I bet. But maybe..."

"Maybe...?"

"We can dress up, but um take a… detour. It really is a shame - you look hot in that tuxedo. Kind of a waste..."

"Not if you take mental pictures," he smirked.

"Mental pictures? Do you have any mental pictures of me?"

"Oooh yes ma'am I do... you know, this tux doesn't have to be a waste."

"Oh will you buy it and wear it everyday?"

"The others won't be expecting us for a while..."

"Carlisle gave you condoms, didn't he?"

"With spermicide, and I promise I'll double bag it," he whimpered.

"What if I promise _tomorrow_? Dad's leaving at six to go fishing with Billy..."

"Alright, only if we can be at your house at 6:01..."

"AM? You're such a horn dog," I scoffed.

"It's not my fault you're so attractive."

"Right, so we can check this off your list now?"

"Yeah, right after we take our picture," he smiled pulling me toward the photographer in the corner with the cheesy background setup.

"Edward..." I whined.

"Yes my love?" He stopped to look at me.

"Thanks for making me take my awesome boyfriend to the prom."

...

_**#**_**7 Go to a Mariner's game with Dad AND Edward **_**and preferably a White Sox game**_

"Jesus H! Catch the dang ball!" Dad yelled as the outfeilder dropped the ball.

Carlisle and Emmett sat there with quiet grins as Esme and Sue chatted about lobster or something.

Edward... Edward was doing whatever the hell he was doing.

We had been fighting and now we weren't even talking.

It started a few days ago and now it seems like we'll never stop.

...

I laid in bed whispering and mumbling - praying to every helpful and non-helpful god. I made promises that I probably couldn't have kept and offered other bad things to happen to me. I even prayed to my uterus, trying to make a deal with it that I would go on the pill as soon as possible. I even almost called Jessica.

When Edward came over, I wouldn't move from my bed pretending to read a book. I felt like a hypocrite for not saying anything then. I had once thought that Jessica was being... irresponsible or whatever, but she was scared. I was petrified. I mean I was only two days late, but my body was like clockwork - every twenty eight days - ever since I was thirteen. And you can bet I was damn sure of my schedule when we started having sex.

Edward joked about me being a lazy bum that day and I made a comment that he was always laying around listening to music and doing nothing useful.

Then his exact words were "Wow someone's PMSing this morning..."

I snapped.

Told him he could leave if he couldn't be quiet.

He left. I cried.

Because I wanted to be PMSing - because I could have maybe been pregnant with his child that I had no intention of keeping... But that's why the real fighting started.

When I woke the next morning, I jumped up practically screaming hallelujah as I ran into bathroom. Then I invited Edward over to apologize and told him that I thought I had been maybe a little pregnant.

"Shit Bella, you should have told me. I was trying to annoy you yesterday because you were being so snippy. I would have been able to..."

"Worry and pull your hair out like I did? It was for nothing anyway, and I love your hair too much to let that happen."

"This is not funny Bella. I could have been reassuring. We could have talked about it. I could have told you that I would make sure that the baby would have been cared for..."

"There wouldn't have been a baby to care for..." I admitted shamefully.

"You mean you would - you would have an abortion if you'd been pregnant?" he asked disbelievingly. "Shit Bella, I know we're young but-"

"No, I'm not having children. I can't have kids. I won't do that to them."

"Do what? What can be worse than killing them?"

"I won't let them have the curse. It's not fair. I won't do it to them."

"You don't even know if it's genetic or anything else about it. How can you not let them have a chance-"

"How can you? My life - it was hard Edward. You don't know... if I hadn't been living in Forks and if I didn't have Tilde or Dad... and then if I didn't have you, I think I might have killed myself."

"Bella..." he looked at me with teary eyes.

"And there's a good chance that it's genetic. Think about it - my mother left us. She probably left because she couldn't handle living with the curse and a family. She couldn't handle it. She-"

"But you're not her. You're strong Bella. So strong and any child of yours would be too. And your mother... she's just shit Bella. She left because it was easy. You wouldn't be able to leave your child-"

"I wouldn't! But he or she would grow up resenting me for it," I sobbed into my hands. "I hate her so much."

"For leaving? Or the curse?"

"Both! I don't know!"

"So if you'd gotten pregnant with my child... you would have had an abortion?" he asked and I nodded. "Would you have at least told me beforehand or would you just have gone to a clinic and done it?"

I waited a moment before answering, wondering how much he would hate me for it. "I wouldn't let you have the chance to talk me out of it..."

"I would fucking sue you. I could petition it and then you would have to have the baby but I could get full custody and you wouldn't have to care of it. I can do it. My parents would help me..."

"Then I better make sure you never find out."

...

"Ah come on, he was out by a mile! Booo!" Dad yelled, pulling me out of my bubble.

Other than the hand holding, we had very little interaction with each other. Everyone else could obviously tell that we were fighting - everyone had tried talking to me, even Dad - but I guess they just had to leave it alone since Edward and I wouldn't talk about it. At least I couldn't tell if he had talked about it - no one else was thinking about how disappointing my abortion views were.

It wasn't that I wasn't pro-life. I mean, people shouldn't just have abortions because they don't want a baby - there are other options. But... abortions shouldn't be banned because there could be certain cases like mine... and for the people in those horror stories you hear about screwdrivers or coat hangers...

Was I such a terrible person because I didn't want my child to go through hell? I was lucky. So lucky - I don't know how it happened. I guess I do have gods looking out for me or something because I have - had Edward.

"I have to use the restroom..." Edward mumbled and I let go of his hand as he stood up to go.

Honestly, my head was okay. It was overloaded with thousands of people's thoughts, but it didn't bother me. I think I was building a tolerance with Edward's help, but I wasn't going to share that with him anytime soon. I was reveling in the last moments I basically had with Edward, and if he thought he needed to hold my hand... so be it.

I was also rethinking our last conversation over and over and it was irritating that I was reconsidering everything...

There was a chance that my children wouldn't have the curse... a small chance.

And if they did have the curse, I would be there to comfort - to help - to love them, and I didn't really know how my curse would affect them. Their curse could turn out differently than mine.

There was also a chance that if my child did have the curse, they could find their Edward – their soul mate... a tiny chance.

But there was a big chance that I -... The truth was that I could never kill Edward's child.

I tugged on my Mariner's cap and wiped my eyes as Edward came back, shuffling through our row. I kept my hands in my lap, but I was grateful when Edward reached for one, giving me a comforting squeeze. Then he pulled out his sunscreen again and started to put on another layer. _How much sunscreen did this boy need?_ I watched as he easily squirted a little bit onto his arm and applied that amount onto his face and his left arm. He tried rubbing his right arm on his left because I was still clutching his hand. When he gave up, I grabbed the bottle from his lap and turned to put some on his left arm. He turned in his seat wordlessly so I could have better access and I could feel him breathing on me as he stared. When I finished his arm, I smoothed out places on his face with my thumb; when I pulled away, he grabbed my wrist and kissed my palm before holding it in his hands.

I turned my attention back to the game noticing that our row hadn't been watching the White Sox score another run...

"Alright alright, let's get some hits now," Dad cheered as our team rushed off the field.

"Oh look... they're doing that kiss cam thing," Sue pointed up at the big screen, and we watched couples kiss. One older couple got really into, and then lonely music started to play and three familiar faces appeared on the screen... The entire stadium started to laugh and boo because there sat Emmett, Carlisle, and Edward - three White Sox fans at a Mariner's game. As Emmett waved and Carlisle shook his head, Edward whipped off his cap and leaned down to kiss me.

I basically turned into gooey mush and hot fire at the same time. Nothing else mattered when Edward's lips moved against mine like that.

"I'm sorry I couldn't resist," Edward mumbled, pulling away and reaching for his hat.

"Three days is too long..."

"Four. Four days," he nodded.

Some of the people in our section were still cheering and yelling at us, but I turned back to the game, not even embarrassed. The first batter was up and got a hit, and then the next one got a double. Then Felix Hernandez hit a homerun. Edward and I sat still as everyone rose to watch it fly over the fence - cheering and groaning.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong!" I yelled.

"You better not be just saying that!"

"I'm not. I could never do it to you..."

"I'm sorry too. I love you."

"Love you," I mouthed before leaning up to kiss him quickly before anyone noticed us.

"Can I ask you something now?"

"Yeah..."

"What the hell does a moose have to do with baseball or the Mariners, huh?"

"Because he's just a mascot - every team has one. Now why in the hell aren't they wearing _white socks_?"

...

_**#12 Consider and Research Colleges**_

"I'm feeling so lucky today," Edward smiled as we trekked to our meadow with a picnic basket and blanket in hand.

"Yeah?" I laughed. Because now that he was 18, Edward bought twenty dollars worth of scratch-off lottery tickets and only won two dollars from them. But just the same, he was ecstatic.

"Maybe… you'll get lucky too," he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh, I'll be looking forward to it..."

Once we got to the meadow, Edward laid the blanket out for us but sprawled out in the middle, leaving me little room to sit on the edge.

"What are you doing?" he sounded offended.

"What?" I looked down - nothing. I wasn't doing anything.

"Come here," he pulled on me until I lay against him.

"Oh, we've never done it here be-"

His lips were against mine and I forgot everything. He wasn't gentle or slow as he kissed me, but determined and hurried, and it caused me to burn differently. After an immeasurable amount of time, he slowed his kisses and his lips started to trail across my jaw and down my neck.

"Thank you," he mumbled pulling away, sitting up, and crossing his legs.

"What?" I stammered confused. I thought that we - that he wanted to...

He was opening the basket and pulling out bottles of water, forks, and a lemon meringue pie. But then he pulled out a large stack of papers...

"I wanted to get a lot of kissing done before I asked for my birthday present..."

...

I sat across from Edward sifting through piles of college applications and brochures. I was supposed to be looking through them and considering my options for the future, but I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I never thought I could have a real future... something not in Forks or that required a degree.

"Hey! You better be thinking about your future over there and not daydreaming about me," Edward scolded me halfheartedly.

"But what if they're the same thing?" I questioned, hoping for a distraction, but he just huffed and rolled his eyes at me. "This is the worst birthday present ever..."

"Says the girl who doesn't even like them - you can not judge me. It's my birthday and I want to do this."

"But we have a whole year to do this, and this wasn't even on my list."

"Yes, but it was on mine. If we wait to do it, you'll just keep putting it off, and when I turn _nineteen_, it'll be too late…"

"Are you sure you don't want to do something else...? We could go to my house. My dad's not home."

"No. I'm not in the mood," he shrugged staring down at the pamphlet in his hands.

"Gah, fine... Seriously, what kind of careers do you see me having?"

"A teacher..."

"Are you joking?" I gaped. "Me in a school? Without you? No way am I teaching high school."

"Doesn't have to be. You could do pre-K or kindergarten. Get them while their young and I think you could be great..."

"Yeah okay, what else?"

"A psychologist of some sort..."

"I've actually thought about that, and I don't want to use my curse for evil."

"I don't think that's really considered evil since you'd be helping people..." Edward quirked his head me, confused.

"It would be evil because I would be stealing their thoughts or at least, the male patients. I think half the part of therapy is opening up and willing to talk about stuff."

"What about a police officer? Would that still be evil? Seeing if suspects are lying or whatever..."

"I guess it wouldn't... But I don't want to be a cop because there's so much other crap I would have to deal with, and you need evidence to prove everything, and it's dangerous and-"

"Okay, what about writing? You like writing, and you're good at it."

"I'm okay. I'm not-"

"You get A's on all of your reports and I haven't seen Mr. Mason put smiley faces on anybody else's papers," he smirked at me.

"Maybe he has a crush on me."

"He has a crush on your _writing_, and… you would have told me if he did... Right?" He raised an eyebrow at me, unsure.

"Maybe," I laughed. "But what would I even write about?"

"I used to pretend that JK Rowling really was a wizard and was giving us insight into her world. You could use your _anomaly_ in sorta the same way - write what you know..."

"Maybe, it's a good idea..." I stayed silent thinking it over.

"Good, because there_ is_ something else I want to do for my birthday..."

"Oh?" I tried hiding my smile.

"I want to _love_ you," he whispered leaning over to kiss below my ear as I reached for the hem of his shirt.

...

Later that night as we gathered with the rest of our friends, I couldn't help but think about Edward and what he said about my _anomaly_. He hated it when I called my special gift a curse. He said that I needed to be more optimistic and stop seeing it as a bad thing. Of course he could say that because he didn't have to put up with it, but he did have to put up with me and for eternity because there was no way that I was going to let go of him now or ever again.

But write what I know? I didn't know if my curse was interesting or amazing enough that a million people would want to read about it... Maybe I could write about Edward because he was the best thing that had and will ever happen to me. Not even including the whole silence-when-I-touch-his-skin-thing, Edward was perfect and not annoyingly perfect, just... perfect perfect. Smart, funny, kind, good, HOT, humble, and blind as a bat.

I had been wrong when I first saw him; he was an anomaly.

Edward was _my_ anomaly.

* * *

AN: So yeah, the title was a reference to Edward the whole time - I didn't even consider the mindreading thing until I was posting the third chapter :) But I wanted to do this epilogue differently - not so much as a happily ever after feeling... just leaving it open because anything could happen to them. But there's plenty of fluff - made sure of that. ;)

Sorry this took so long though... everything in my life went wrong. Jury duty scarred me for life - pray you never get a criminal case! I injured my hand - I havent been able to type well. I lost my cell phone which had a LOT of FF stuff on it like parts of this and my new story. There were two other parts I wrote for this, but I just dropped it because I didnt feel like writing them and I felt that 10,000 words was pretty good, right?

A sequel? NO. I don't do sequels, but never say never... but there may possibly be an outtake of like 5 years later or something. It hasn't been written but it's in my head sooo... you can put this on alert if you want...

I just want to thank everyone - all of you. I'll miss this story and you guys a lot and sorry...I didn't mean for this story take this long. 8 months! My bad. :)

THANKS FOR READING!


	22. What Are You Waiting For?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There's some strong language and subjects in this chapter...

AN: kinda rated M... but not really. EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV

* * *

**What Are You Waiting For? **  
**Outtake**

I, Edward Anthony Cullen, was clinically insane. Probably not, actually – at least legally insane. I could still somewhat function and do things like eat and bathe.

I didn't even realize it until the fourth or fifth time it happened. Now I saw her everywhere – the library, my chemistry class, even the guys' showers at the gym. It was that one that made me realize that I had a problem and also caused my sexuality to be questioned when I couldn't stop staring at a random naked  
dude… It was only two weeks after it happened that I started hallucinating and now it had been six weeks that I hadn't seen my real Bella Swan.

…  
...

"I can't believe it happened. I thought out of all of us they would have made it…"

"I know…" I nodded. Honestly I thought that Bella and I would make it, but I didn't want to say it. I was kinda pissed too that he didn't think we would.

"I mean they were engaged. What happened?" Emmett continued. I stared down at the last pieces of my cheeseburger, praying that Bella and Rose would come back from the bathroom.

"Don't really know. I guess the wedding stuff just stressed them out and they got tired of each other…"

Jasper had proposed to Alice four months ago and today Jasper moved out with his grandmother's ring in his pocket. He and Alice – neither of them knew what was happening but when they both told me they still loved the other. _It was complicated_ – they both quoted.

"I haven't even thought about marriage. Well I mean I just think we should wait until we're both done with school. Rose knows I'm in for the long haul."

"I've thought about it… I was actually going to propose a few months ago," I admitted.

"What?"

"But then Jasper proposed and I didn't want to rain on their parade…"

"Damn…"

I narrowed my eyes at him because I could tell he didn't approve of the idea – he didn't think Bella and I would work.

"Babe, let's go. The movie starts in twenty minutes," Rose appeared behind him with her purse.

"Alright, see ya later man." I watched them leave the restaurant as Bella stood beside me, ready to go.

"Are you sure you don't want to go see the movie? Vampires and romance are right up your alley?" I teased her as she rolled her eyes at me.

"I'd rather watch a musical…" she grumbled.

"Hey just because-"

"I get you like the music and it's good, but I can't stand when they break out into song. It's ridiculous when the main guy is like _dang it I forgot to go the store_ and then starts singing about how much he loves apples and not grapefruits," she finished her rant as we got the car.

I chose to stay silent, not questioning to what movie she was even talking about. Something was wrong because she was agitated and she was wringing her hands in her lap – her lip chewed up.

"Do I want to know what's bothering you?" I asked reluctantly. What has her anomaly heard this time?

"Something I overheard… I just… I think I need to say something about it," she fumbled.

"Yeah?"

"I… I heard you talking to Emmett…"

"Oh?" What had we been talking about? Baseball… Dad… Jasper and Alice… -Marriage. Shit. "Oh…"

"Just so you know…. If you had proposed, I would have said no."

"Yeah I think it would have been too soon," I agreed. But when I looked back at her she was looking down at her lap and my stomach dropped. "Right?"

"I don't…"

"You don't want to marry me."

"No, that's not it. I just don't want to get married in general."

"Figures," I sighed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're a commitment-phobe. That's why you're always running away from your problems and that's why you don't want to have kids. Shit, it made me so paranoid when we first moved in together."

"Paranoid?" she questioned.

"Yeah I was always waiting for the ball to drop – for you to leave and I checked your tampons like every month in the beginning."

"Edward, I promised I would never… Do you still feel that way?"

"No!" I was panicking because this wasn't supposed to be happening.

"Then why don't I believe you?"

"You don't trust me."

"I think that goes both ways," she scoffed.

We stayed silent for the rest of the ride home. In these situations, the best thing for me to do was clear my head and distract myself and not get too worked about it. We would have a calm discussion at home and talk about everything until we both kinda agreed on the matter.

Bella spoke again when we got inside of our tiny apartment. "I think we need some space."

"Of course you do. You don't have to run away because I want to marry you. I can probably get over that," I stammered as she pulled a bag out of the hallway closet.

"Trust is our issue! And marriage is just a messy government contract that binds people together."

"Noooo," I shook my head, calmly. "Marriage is about love and promising to love that person for eternity, and for some shit reason, you get tax benefits and other shit."

"Well I don't mind paying all of my taxes!"

"Of course you don't!" I turned around and walked out of the apartment. I hoped that fresh air would clear my head and Bella could use the time to rationally think and calm down…

Worst mistake of my life.

When I came back, she was gone.

...  
...

Six weeks was like two months of Hell, and those two months seemed like decades. I'd lost weight and I think some of my hair was falling out. I didn't go out anymore unless it was to the grocery store or school. My grades were slipping despite the fact that I was studying all the time. I was starting to truly understand that concept of a downward spiral. Every which way you decide to turn, you end up falling down…

And Bella? I had no idea how she was other than alive and safe. She had online classes, so she didn't have to stay in one place. Right now she was in New York visiting both Jasper and Alice, who were dating again. Everyone had been keeping me up to date so I wouldn't go crazy worrying about her. That was an epic fail because I always worried, and it made me wonder if she was miserable as much as me…  
or worse – happy. I thought about tracking her down to try to work things out, but I told her once that I wasn't going to keep chasing her and I was done. _I wanted to be chased._

And shit… Tanya. Tanya was one of Bella's roommates freshman year with Rosalie and Kate. I didn't talk to her much then, but she was my lab partner this year. It felt like she was everywhere, always bumping into me. I saw her almost as much as I saw Fake Bella and I did the worst thing possible. I went on a date with her.

Jasper and Alice had encouraged it and I threw up after that phone call because if that's what they were telling me, I didn't want to think what Bella had been doing there. Worse than the date was that Tanya kissed me and when I kissed her back, I felt like shit. I never kissed another girl and Bella was  
right – us kissing was not normal.

I didn't have that intense feeling with Tanya and at first I thought that was a good sign that Bella and I were meant to be together. But does intensity really mean anything besides amazing sex? I prayed it meant something. I told Tanya I couldn't see her again and apologized because I shouldn't have kissed her. That didn't really stop her from calling and asking if I had changed my mind… Every other damned day.

Today I had attempted to switch lab partners and all hell broke loose. I left and went back later to finish the lab up, making sure my phone was off. Thank heaven, she never found out where I lived. Bella hadn't wanted her to know… obviously for good reason. I even went to a different grocery store across town, but I ended up just getting one of those tubes of cookie dough. I didn't feel like eating real food and cookie dough had become my comfort food. I carried my books in my left arm and held my tube of chocolate chip cookie dough in my right for easy access as I walked home.

I had stood behind Fake Bella in line at the store and seen her sitting on top of a moving bus. Sometimes she'd appear when it really was someone else. Other times, she would appear out of thin air – those were my favorite because she looked more real. Like now she was standing outside the apartment, leaning against the wall and wearing one of my Penbrook sweatshirts.

And I was mad as hell at myself for imagining her. I'd been having a shit day and I didn't need to see Fake Bella. I needed … I needed to get over myself.

I tried ignoring Fake Bella as I walked up to the door, but as I turned the key, I kicked at her hoping her annoying apparition would disappear.

"Ow! Fuck Edward, I know you hate me, but oowww…" Fake Bella hopped on one leg before falling down to the floor. Fake Bella wasn't so fake.

"Bella?" I dropped my books, jumping back. "Shit I'm sorry." My chest was pounding. Was this really Bella or was I just cuckoo?

"Gees, are you wearing steel-toed boots?"

"No no, sneakers," I sputtered, kneeling down next to her. "I didn't mean to kick you."

"Right…" she pouted, rubbing her leg.

"I didn't know it was you. What are you even doing here anyway?"

"I… I wanted to talk to you. What do you mean you didn't know it was me?"

"I've gone crazy," I told her, moving to sit down. She was quiet, watching me, and I wondered if she was trying to read my mind. Or maybe she could – shit is that why she left?

"My dad told me about what you did…" she bit her lip.

"What did I do?" I blinked, my mind blank.

"You asked about finding my mother..."

"Oh... that was like three years ago," I remembered.

I had gone to Charlie and asked him if he knew where Renee was living. Honestly, he was a cop with the resources and if I had been in his situation, you can guarantee I would have used them. And he had. But I didn't need to talk to Renee to find the information I was looking for; Charlie asked me why I was looking for her, and I explained everything to him. Everything – worries, pregnancy scares, and stories - everything. He'd actually called up Renee a few years after he learned about Bella's anomaly, and she had no idea what he was talking about and her _other_ kids were fine. No anomalies. I would have told Bella that our children wouldn't have had her curse and everything would have been fine, but the fact that Renee left and had a happy life with a whole other family… I just couldn't do that to Bella.

"Still, I … okay, before I apologize, I have to explain that… that before you came into my life, I'd never thought I could have a life. By now, I thought I'd still be in Forks living with my dad and doing odd jobs around town. I would only have visits from Rose and Jasper to look forward to and – and I thought I  
would die a virgin," her eyes were wide as she explained. "I didn't think it was possible for someone to love me. When we had the fight, I saw the opportunity and thought that it – it would be good for you to find someone else before you found your own reason to leave me…"

"Bella! When will you get it through your thick head that I love you," I gritted my teeth. This shit was getting old.

"I know and I love you. That's why I thought I had to do it… I thought you deserved someone better."

"Why the-"

"But I talked to Esme and Carlisle-"

"When did you talk to my parents?"

"I was just staying with them, and they-"

"What! I thought you were in New York!"

"I was two weeks ago… I got everyone to tell you where I was the week before, just in case you followed me… But I knew you wouldn't…"

"Jesus, I almost did like a million times."

"I know…" she mumbled, looking sad. "But Carlisle put a lot of stuff into perspective for me. He kinda yelled at me and told me that I deserved you but he said he was unsure if you deserved me because no one needs all of this drama."

"He said that?" I was baffled.

"Those weren't his exact words. I learned a few swears…," her eyes furrowed as if she was puzzled. "I was going to come sooner but I got sick and-"

"Are you okay?" My stomach flipped. Bella never got sick, even if I had the flu or something. Or maybe it just seems like she never gets sick because my immune system sucks ass.

"Yeah, I just had to wait it out. Esme made me soup, and Carlisle looked me over. But I came here to beg you for forgiveness. I'm so sorry for causing all of this trouble. I promise it'll never happen again because I'm done pushing you away. I love you and I want you and I need you. I know I've promised before,  
but we never spent more than five days apart… I know I need you now. I know it might take time, but do you think you could possibly forgive me?"

Could I forgive her? It might take me a while to get over it. Could I live without her? So far, I'd done a dandy job. Could I keep doing this shit? Not really, but I'd rather take all that shit for the good stuff because it was just so… goooood.

"I…" But she wasn't the only guilty one. I had shit too and I needed to tell her- now or never. "I went out on a date with Tanya…"

"I know… she called and asked me if I was okay with it…" she closed her eyes, resting her head against the wall.

"She kissed me," I shook my head, annoyed that she allowed it.

She nodded her head before speaking softly, "I know. She called Rose one night in tears because you wouldn't take her calls. Then Rose basically told her to leave you alone…"

"She didn't take the advice," I cringed. "… You were right, you know about the kissing…"

"What?" she opened her eyes as she lifted her head. It kinda looked like she had just woken up and I had asked her a simple question, confusing her. Her hair was up in a messy bun with her round eyes squinting at me.

Not too much had changed about her while she was gone. She hadn't lost weight or had terrible bags under her eyes like me. She looked like she might have gained weight because her boobs looked bigger. Maybe it was a new bra or maybe I just hadn't seen them in a long time… but my old friends definitely seemed bigger.

"What?" she repeated and I pretended that I had zoned out – not just staring at her breasts.

"Uh, do you - um I remember when we first started dating and you'd said that… - our kissing wasn't normal. It's not… just so you know… if you were wondering…"

"I remember the meadow," she smiled before biting her lip again. "So do you think you can do it? Forgive me?"

"I don't think I could not forgive you…"

"Is that a yes?" she squinted at me again, unsure.

"Yes, it's a yes," I leaned down to kiss her. I felt so alive when her lips moved against mine, I was overwhelmed. Kissing her was better than breathing.

"There's… also a few more things… I have to tell you," Bella breathed heavily, rubbing her leg.

"Shit, I'm so sorry about your leg," I pulled up her pant leg to see if it was bruised. But I stopped at my tattoo – well it wasn't my tattoo but a purple and gray sharpie sketch of my family crest on her ankle. "What…?"

"Oh yeah, Esme drew it on there for me. She was going to go with me to get it done bu-"

"You really mean it? Forever?"

"Yeah, but if I've got this tattoo, I've got to make it legit… I want to be stuck with you and love you forever and-"

"We don't have to get mar-"

"Stop interrupting me! I want to marry you for real. I want to be Mrs. Cullen and pay our taxes together and -"

I kissed her to stop her babbling. I was on the verge of tears and I didn't want her to see me cry. I was just so happy and relieved that she was here and I was holding her. When she started to pull away, I held her face so I could feel her for a moment longer.

"So when do you want to get your tattoo? Are you sure you want to get it on your ankle?" I asked her, changing the subject. I seriously was about to cry. "And no lie, it does hurt a lot at first."

"I don't know, maybe like nine months."

"That's random. Why wait so long?"

"It seems like the best time – nine months from now," she nodded, waiting…

"What?"

"I guess I could do it now, but I don't want to risk infection. _Nine months_ though, it'll be worth the wait."

"But…" Then it clicked. Nine months equaled pregnancy. But that meant that Bella had to be… We were pregnant? A million questions popped into my head, and I gripped my hair confused. "Is that why you came back?"

"What? No," her face fell, looking like I had just slapped her. And I had. I hated myself for asking it, but I had to know. "I told you – Esme was helping me put my suitcase in the trunk and then I started throwing up… Carlisle confirmed it," she frowned.

"I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"No it's okay," she stopped me and pulled my hands away from my hair, brushing a few strands out of my face. "I love you so much. There's no way I'm leaving you ever again. Til' death do us part."

"We're having a baby?" I was officially crying as I pulled her onto my lap. Everything was crashing down on me, and I didn't mind the fall so much.

"Eight weeks along. The due date's Christmas day," she smiled. I hid my face in her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around me, holding me together.

"I love you. Thank you," I breathed.

"Thank you?" she laughed. "I think I should be thanking you. If I remember correctly, you were the one who was a little too enthusiastic back in March."

"What? I don't believe you. I don't remember any of that."

"Well, I guess I could remind you – tell you what happened…"

"With every minute detail?" I asked, teasing – and desperately hoping. It had been a long time…

"Sure," she grinned.

"Maybe… maybe you could show me too?" I smiled at her, waiting for the cheeky expression to appear on her face. But I didn't have a chance to see it as she pounced on me. Her nose smashed into mine and she bit my lip as I fell backward and she straddled herself above my hips. "Who's the enthusiastic one now?" I panted when she pulled away.

"Are you freaking kidding me? Most normal women just get nauseas and their libido decrease during pregnancy, but for some…" she trailed off, letting her hips fall against mine and making my eyes roll into the back of my head. "I thought it was just the separation… I even had to drag Jaz to a sex shop."

"Bed – now," I stammered remembering we were still out in the hallway. I should have been weird-ed out that Jasper took her to an adult store, but it completely had the opposite effect.

Somehow I got to my feet with Bella still clinging onto me and got the door open. I shuffled my books inside and pressed Bella against the closed door to regain my balance. She ran her hands through my hair and I rested my head against her shoulder taking in the smell of Real Bella.

"Erghmm, I think we'll come back later," Dad's voice echoed.

"Dad?" I whipped my head to find my parents sitting on the couch. "Esme? Did you know they were here?" I asked Bella, not letting her go.

"They uh…"

"We had to make sure you heard her out, just in case…" Esme smiled. "Obviously you have."

"You have, right?" Dad asked, looking at Bella.

"Yes, he-"

"We're getting married and having a baby…" I bit my lip. I was trying to cut him off; I didn't like the tone he used, but now I was tearing up. "I'm going to be a dad, Dad."

Esme coughed a little as she held her hands to her mouth with watery eyes. "I think we should head out Carlisle… for lunch. We'll have dinner later?" she looked at us as she shouldered her purse.

"Better make it brunch tomorrow. We'll drive down in the morning," I grinned, carrying Bella passed them to the bedroom.

"Edward! You can't just kick your parents out to-" she stopped as I dropped her on the bed. I kissed down her neck working the button of her jeans.

"Fine," I pulled away quickly.

I nearly died when she moaned my name as I hurried out of the apartment. I caught up to Dad and Esme outside and gave them a quick celebratory goodbye and a promise for lunch the next day.

I guess it was a little crass to go have makeup sex with my girl- my fiancé and blowing off my parents instead of catching up with them at dinner.

But really? Are you kidding me? It had been forty-four days since Bella and I made love and I needed this.

"You're starting without me?" I laughed when I found Bella in the bedroom.

It felt so awkward and good to laugh, and we still needed to talk, but right now we both needed this.

"Shut up and take off your pants."

…

"Ow!" Bella squealed and thumped against my back. "Why did you pinch me!"

"I wanted to make sure I wasn't dreaming…" I grinned as her nails clawed against my skin, giving me chills.

"I love you," she scoffed before laughing softly. Normally she would have told me she hated me or that I was lame, but I think we were still too fragile to say anything else but 'I love you'.

"Love you," I whispered nuzzling against her chest. Only a thin burgundy sheet separated me from my old friends but we all needed the rest and I was too comfortable as Bella ran her other hand through my hair.

My hand rested on her lower stomach as I still tried to accept that there was new life in there. A little me and Bella. A little boy or girl… hopefully one of those.

"What are you thinking right now?"

"What are we going to name her-him? I mean he-she's gonna have to live the rest of his-her life with it. It has to be beautiful and bullying-free… it's such a big responsibility."

"That's what you're thinking about? That's your biggest worry? The name?" she asked, disbelievingly. "Because you know, there are other ways to screw up their life."

"It all starts with the name," I teased. "Oh! If we have a girl I have the perfect name!"

"What?"

"Anna."

"Anna Cullen?" she sounded hesitant.

"Anna Molly Cullen," I chuckled. "Get it? Anna Molly – anomaly?"

"That's not funny. We're not naming her that."

"Well you better start praying we have a boy…"

"I was thinking… if we did have a girl, we could do something like that though… take Carlisle and Charlie, you get Carly," she suggested. I glanced up at her beautiful face. Her eyes were wide and round, and her skin glowed with her natural blush.

"Or maybe something like Matilda…"

"Or Elizabeth." She'd turn the last one on me, letting my mother's name sink into my chest.

"Lot of good names there… either our son's getting a girl name or our daughter's gonna have one long name."

"Or we could just keep having kids until we use them all…" No sarcasm, no laughing, no scoffing. She was serious.

"Really?" I rolled over her, resting between her legs.

"Take off your pants," she smirked.

"I'm not wearing any," I shook my head, dumbly.

"Then what are you waiting for?"

* * *

AN: So I'm done with this... the very last part was actually an outtake of the outtake but I wanted it in there or you guys to read it... I really hoped you like it and I'm so grateful that a lot of you have stuck with me. I just read some older stuff of mine and I cringe so much just thinking about it now. I'm afraid to reread this one because I think back on it has decent enough...

Again I love you. This is the last outtake. : (

THANKS FOR READING!


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